Divorce waiver for conditional greencard

[Aureliaxue 10]

Hello,

 

I have been having a rough relationship. I have been threatened with my green card and my life. 

He threatens me with calling ICE for me. Even though i didn't marry him to get into the country. He was the one wanted me to come to the US, he wanted to marry me. I said multiple times that we can live in my home country. Still, he is getting manipulated by his mom. His mom tells him i am a fraud and i am waiting for him to die etc. I have been mistreated a lot. He punched the walls i try to leave he kept me around his arms squeezed me so i can't move. And now i am just done with it. I am tired. Today he tried to argue with me about how i am not cleaning the house. I have a full-time job. He has been sitting at home playing a computer game 24/7.  He worked maybe 1-2 days 3-4 hours. But he wants me to come home and clean for him. He complains when i watch a movie on my computer after work. Because i suppose to clean and cook and earn money for him. 

 

Today he started to call me names. He said B word. He said he will baker act me because i got angry that he called me b****. He called his mother. He told his mother to baker act me. She is the manipulator. She started saying yes you should definitely. Call the cops etc. I know she is against me because one of her friends send me ss of her and my husband's mother chat. She(his mother) was telling her(friend) that she will put me in prison for 5 years because i am fraud. (i have been to a car accident and with my settlement money i bought a trailer on a large cleared land. so we can move out from his mothers house.) so she says that my husband tells her 'he wants to divorce' and she wishes that he would divorce me. He will take the house and everything and put me in prison etc. 

 

I just feel so exhausted. I don't see any reason to continue to this marriage. It only drains me and my life energy. I am so unhappy. I gained weight because i put myself eating when i am stressed and unhappy. I have been working, but i have no degree so i get minimum wage. I will start to go to school soon so i can get a better job. i applied for it already... So i called the cops today. They have been here before. Because of our argument again. They told us divorce before. Now he was the same cop. He said i thought you guys were gonna divorce. I said it is just arguments i thought it would be ok plus divorcing is scary and i have no place to go after divorce. Plus they always threaten me.  He says he will burn the house down and both will get nothing and he said to my friend that he will get a gun. My friend asked why. He said he normally uses it to shoot stuff... So cop told me go to court and get an abruction? (i couldn't understand his word but something like that) order so he won't be able to get close to you or to the residence. And then start the divorce process. 

 

My question is; is it hard to get waiver for divorce to stay here. Because i already started to build my life. It is almost 2 years since i got in this country. I spend my time and money to build in here already. But wanting to stay here after divorce... is it a red flag? I tried really... I patiently let his family talk about me and treat me like dog. I paid them rent and they told me i have no right to ask for privacy and they told me i didn't pay enough for it or i didn't pay at all even though i paid. They yelled at me dogged me. They said i shouldn't wear white in my wedding. His brother told me to go back to turkey and called me names and everything. Still i stayed there silently, hoping that it will be all ok and we will move out when i get my work permit. I was thinking me and my husband would move out if we worked together but he didn't find a job since i started one. He stayed at home and played gmaes. His mother supported him anytime say something about it. She said he is sick... He is depressed... My work place is far away (20 minutes with car) they said that's why he can't work. They said we have only 1 car that's why he can't work. I asked money from my family (2000 dollars) and got us a second car. Now he started making excuse for how the first car burns gas all the time that's why he can't work. But i used that first car for 6 months to work. I made money, i paid rent to his mother and i gave him money for cigarettes... It didn't make sense. So he didn't work and we couldn't move out until i got hit by a car and get a settlement money and i bought a trailer with it. He even argued with me allll the time about how we should invest that money and we should stay with his mother. And now when i think about it i just laugh... I wouldn't be able to staythere anymore i would definitely kill myself or run away because of their mental torture.

 

I just write these things here because i suppose i really don't have any friends here to go and talk and i just have to vent. 

 

Every comment is welcome. I can't really get hurt anymore.. So positive or negative please just let me know your opinion. 

 

Edited September 29, 2018 by Aureliaxue

[geowrian 22,337]

13 minutes ago, Aureliaxue said:

My question is; is it hard to get waiver for divorce to stay here. Because i already started to build my life. It is almost 2 years since i got in this country. I spend my time and money to build in here already. But wanting to stay here after divorce... is it a red flag?

No, you just need to file with a divorce waiver and show you entered into the marriage in good faith. Many, many people have done this successfully...don't overly worry about it. Focus on getting & keeping safe first, then showing your case with evidence.

 

#1 issue is to get and stay safe. It sounds like the situation you are in now is quite abusive.

 

Just know that he cannot deport you or make you leave the US.

[little immigrant 801]

This sounds like my story. 

 

Get away from all of them. Get your own place. Change your address with USCIS. You can file ROC with a divorce waiver. 

 

Your safety is first. Please protect yourself. 

 

If you want to chat with me you can privately message me. I have been in a similar situation with threats and police being called, only me working, etc. 

[Kiolas 103]

@Aureliaxue Oh my God! When I was reading your story the blood boiled inside me. 

 

This is very evil and dangerous people - your husband, his mother, his brother...Because of their manipulation, they use you to get money and also they enjoy to treat you inhumanly. 

 

As sooner you get away from that dangerous environment - as better! Because they will try to hurt you and abuse you even more - your husband doesn't work, he is bored and his mother hates you. She will make sure he hurts you even more, physically and mentally. So for you the best thing is to get away.

 

You are not safe there. 

 

Do you still live with the husband's mother? I did not fully understand regarding the trailer - can you go and live in your trailer now?

If not, do you have any people you know (for example, at work) that can temporarily rent you a room?

 

In addition, there are shelters for domestic violence victims. I'm not sure if they are ok or not, but here in NYC there plenty of them.

 

Personally, I do not know about GC waiver, but many people here posted questions about it. If you have documents that prove that your relationships were genuine - you will be good.

 

Please, 🙏 do not let anyone to disrespect you!

You did not come this long way from Turkey all the way to the U.S. for anyone to let you down like this.

My heart go to you and I support your decision to stay here and fight for your future in this country ❤️

 

[Ontarkie 14,234]

Is he still in the home or did the police remove him? Get that restraining order now. 

 

 

[Aureliaxue 10]

2 hours ago, geowrian said:

 No, you just need to file with a divorce waiver and show you entered into the marriage in good faith. Many, many people have done this successfully...don't overly worry about it. Focus on getting & keeping safe first, then showing your case with evidence.

  

#1 issue is to get and stay safe. It sounds like the situation you are in now is quite abusive.

  

Just know that he cannot deport you or make you leave the US.

Thank you.

1 hour ago, little immigrant said:

This sounds like my story. 

 

Get away from all of them. Get your own place. Change your address with USCIS. You can file ROC with a divorce waiver. 

 

Your safety is first. Please protect yourself. 

 

If you want to chat with me you can privately message me. I have been in a similar situation with threats and police being called, only me working, etc. 

thank you very much. i just can't believe a stranger cares about me more than my husband does. I just feel so sad. I really loved him alot.  

1 hour ago, Kiolas said:

@Aureliaxue Oh my God! When I was reading your story the blood boiled inside me. 

 

This is very evil and dangerous people - your husband, his mother, his brother...Because of their manipulation, they use you to get money and also they enjoy to treat you inhumanly. 

  

As sooner you get away from that dangerous environment - as better! Because they will try to hurt you and abuse you even more - your husband doesn't work, he is bored and his mother hates you. She will make sure he hurts you even more, physically and mentally. So for you the best thing is to get away.

  

You are not safe there. 

 

Do you still live with the husband's mother? I did not fully understand regarding the trailer - can you go and live in your trailer now?

 If not, do you have any people you know (for example, at work) that can temporarily rent you a room?

  

In addition, there are shelters for domestic violence victims. I'm not sure if they are ok or not, but here in NYC there plenty of them.

 

Personally, I do not know about GC waiver, but many people here posted questions about it. If you have documents that prove that your relationships were genuine - you will be good.

  

Please, 🙏 do not let anyone to disrespect you!

You did not come this long way from Turkey all the way to the U.S. for anyone to let you down like this.

My heart go to you and I support your decision to stay here and fight for your future in this country ❤️

 

3

thank you very much for your supportive comment. we live in a mobile house. which they call it trailer also. It has wheels under the house. It is not built on the land. i don't stay with his family anymore. But he is mommas boy so he calls or messages with her everyday about everything. I told him i don't want to hear her voice. She calls the house phone a couple times a day. they have a relationship like that and he is 30 yo. she just want him to divorce me so he can take the house or split so she can get the money from him. that's my opinion. But since i know her over a year i can bet on it. It is always about money. 

 

I just changed my location. Same company though. So i really don't know anybody that close to ask if i can live with them. But maybe my ex coworkers can help me. I doubt it though. Everybody has their own problem. 

 

I am so tired. One day my husband brought her niece to the house intention of her staying in the house for a couple days. and the next day when i was at work in the morning of 6.30am i had a message from her mother ( my husband's sister) telling me i kidnapped her. not letting her go to home. Last time i check though she didn't want to go and she was playing on my husband's computer. i even asked her why she didn't leave with my husband to go to her house. I left the work and took her(niece) to her house. caused me stress and my workday. tired of the drama i blocked all the names and number so it should be ok for me to share the ss of it i suppose. don't know why this is not on his brother but on me.. trying to get me in trouble. And of course it is never my house. They always talk about the house i bought about my husbands house. *my brother took my daughter to his house*

 

one day cops told me if i wanted to go to the shelter but i am worried about what he is gonna do to my belongings here when i am not at home.  i will try to go and talk with a divorce lawyer this monday. i gotta work tomorrow also. i really just wanna sit and do nothing except cry but i just gotta wake up and go to work instead. 

 

 

12 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

Is he still in the home or did the police remove him? Get that restraining order now. 

 

 

he is still in the house. cop didn't do anything except telling me to divorce. 

[Tinman71 42]

I'm sure there's a support agency in your area that can help you get out and be safe. Get safe then take the next step of divorce. 

[Kiolas 103]

@Aureliaxue You see what are they doing? Now they get even more people to become involved against you - his niece and his sister are added to the picture!

 

Restraining order is a good first step. But you need to go to the court, apply for it, and then go to the hearing in front of the judge. That takes time from work, I'm not sure if you can get a few days off, but it would be very good to get the restraining order as @Ontarkie suggested. You can do it without lawyer. It takes time. However, it protects you against your husband.

 

The police will not do anything unless he visibly hurt you. But he can scratch himself and lie that you did that to him. In such case the police will take you and make a case against you. That's why you need a restraining order.

 

You are in danger! You need to get to the safe place as soon as possible. There is no time to wait. 

Edited September 30, 2018 by Kiolas

[JFH 12,190]

Can you get a storage unit and move yoir stuff into it? That's what I did when my first marriage broke down and I was concerned he would do something to my things. 

 

You absolutely need to get a restraining order. These "people" are savage animals. They are gathering in a pack to intimidate and harm you. I don't know why they are behaving like this - you would think they would be happy for their brother/son to have found a loving wife. But the reasons are irrelevant now. It's all about keeping yourself safe now. I assume you paid in full for the trailer with the settlement? I mean, there is no loan or mortgage on it? And that you are the legal owner? Get him removed and a restraining order to stop him coming back. Or you could "cut your losses" and abandon the trailer and go somewhere he cannot find you such as a shelter if you are scared to stay in a place that he knows the location of. Search online for domestic violence shelters in your area. Even if he came and banged on the door of the shelter demanding to know if you were there they would not tell him or let him in. You would never have to see him or his family ever again. 

 

Have you spoken to anyone at work about this? Anyone that you feel is a good friend? I know that if I worked with a woman who confided in me that she was being abused I'd let her sleep on our couch if necessary for as long as it takes for her to get some help. Are you a member of any particular faith group? Is there a church or temple where you could get some help?

 

You can do this.

Edited September 30, 2018 by JFH

[mrmvkjts 459]

Wow! 

I am so so sorry you have to go thru this!

 

First, as others have said, you NEED TO MAKE SURE that YOU ARE SAFE!

in whatever way possible!

Get a restraining order, try to get him out of the house or move your stuff somewhere!

But definitely get out of there as soon as possible!!

 

Then you can focus on divorce! And don‘t worry, he can‘t do nothing about your legal status!

 

You got this!!!