Wife committed adultery, what are the chances of my I 751 waiver to be approved?

[Char2424 4]

Hi,

I am joining this forum because I am freaking out a little bit.

 

I met my now wife in 2014. We married in November 2016 and I got my greencard in August 2017. We lived happily together in a house with her two kids whom I love very much. I was happily married (for the most part), until I discovered she had cheated on me, and procceeded to go on a two week drinking/drug/ cheating binge, leaving me behind. At the end of the weeks, one of her good friends confronted her and she realized she needed help. I took her to an inpatient rehab center, and I stayed home with her two kids, taking care of everything, hoping things would get better. 

When she came home, she was sober and motivated to stay sober, but ofcourse things weren't the same. I tried working on things, still loving my wife to pieces. Then I discovered she also cheated on me while being in rehab and continued to have a relationship with that person (through letters). That's the day I decided to move out. Since then, we have been in touch, for the kids, trying te reconcile, and even gone to marriage counseling. But at the end of the day she says she does not want to be with me. She says she loves me, but is not infatuated with me anymore (this is another story, that makes me mad). 

She agreed to stay married to me until I could get my conditions removed... but it is becoming a burden, as my financials have suffered because of her... she is a complete different person I once knew. 

 

I don't know what to do at this point. File for a divorce? And get a waiver? Or stick it out... even though we wouldn't have good proof of the last 5 months of us being in a happy marriage... 

I am terrified of losing my stepkids... I love them and still have a great relationship with them. I just dont know what to do. And/or what my changes are of getting the waiver approved. I know we entered the marriage in good faith. There is plenty of proof (proof we also used when filing for the greencard). My family came for the wedding, I have a great relationship with her family, and her kids. I also know that almost everyone would testify for me about her wrong-doing. 

Man, it just sucks that not only I'm going through this rough time in my life, on top of it I have to be worried about immigration...

 

Any words of wisdom or encouragement would be welcome.

[little immigrant 801]

I'm sorry you're going through this and this happened to you. 

 

First you need to decide whether you want to stick it out or divorce. Then you know which way to file your I-751. Don't just stay married for immigration benefits. 

 

Make sure you collect evidence for your application so you have it ready and don't need to struggle when it's time to file. I know you said you have it but make sure it's actually in your possession in case you move out. 

 

Good luck with everything. 

Edited September 19, 2018 by little immigrant

[Starkilla09 366]

I’m sorry you’re going through this fiasco in your marriage. Though everything is falling apart now there are still possibilities regarding your immigration status. If you really want out of this marriage then you will have to file a divorce waiver I-751 and also file for divorce. USCIS will RFE you the divorce decree which you will have to submit when divorce is finalized. If you have documentary evidence as you say, you should be able to successfully remove conditions without her. Many people actually do and it’s has a pretty high approval rate. If you decide to stick it with her then you will have to file joint, but keep in mind removing condidions now takes at least 1 year and could drag up to 24 months.  

[geowrian 22,337]

As stated, if you want out then divorce it is + a divorce waiver.

Her actions aren't cause to approve or deny your ROC petition.

[Char2424 4]

3 hours ago, little immigrant said:

I'm sorry you're going through this and this happened to you. 

 

First you need to decide whether you want to stick it out or divorce. Then you know which way to file your I-751. Don't just stay married for immigration benefits. 

 

Make sure you collect evidence for your application so you have it ready and don't need to struggle when it's time to file. I know you said you have it but make sure it's actually in your possession in case you move out. 

 

Good luck with everything. 

Yeah, I am sorry too. Life can take some weird turns sometimes.

What kind of evidence are you talking about? Evidence that she cheated on me? Or evidence of our legit marriage? 

We are already living seperate at this point.

 

[Char2424 4]

3 hours ago, Starkilla09 said:

I’m sorry you’re going through this fiasco in your marriage. Though everything is falling apart now there are still possibilities regarding your immigration status. If you really want out of this marriage then you will have to file a divorce waiver I-751 and also file for divorce. USCIS will RFE you the divorce decree which you will have to submit when divorce is finalized. If you have documentary evidence as you say, you should be able to successfully remove conditions without her. Many people actually do and it’s has a pretty high approval rate. If you decide to stick it with her then you will have to file joint, but keep in mind removing condidions now takes at least 1 year and could drag up to 24 months.  

What evidence is more important? The fact she commited adultery? Or all the other things...
I can get evidence I paid for her rehab, and we went to counseling, and we had accounts togethers, and I am close to the kids... I also know that anyone would testify for me, including her friends. 

It all just makes me very anxious, never thought I would be in this position.

[Starkilla09 366]

2 hours ago, Char2424 said:

What evidence is more important? The fact she commited adultery? Or all the other things...
I can get evidence I paid for her rehab, and we went to counseling, and we had accounts togethers, and I am close to the kids... I also know that anyone would testify for me, including her friends. 

It all just makes me very anxious, never thought I would be in this position.

It’s normal to be anxious throughout this process especially with the predicament you’re currently in but don’t despair you’ll be just fine. Now with regards to evidence, USCIS doesn’t care about the reasons that broke the marriage. What they DO care about is if you can prove that the marriage was entered in good faith at the inception (bona fide), and not just a means of circumventing immigration law to procure a green card. The evidence they’ll like to see are documentary evidence with your spouse showing joint financial liabilities such as lease/mortgage, tax returns, bank/credit card statements, utilities such as water, sewage, garbage, insurance policies etc.   You can equally send secondary evidence as well for support such as affidavits from friends and relatives who knew your marriage, the rehab stuff etc.

Edited September 20, 2018 by Starkilla09

[NoProblem 69]

17 hours ago, Char2424 said:

continued to have a relationship with that person (through letters)

Who stays in relationship through letters nowadays.  Seems like this was written in the 90s.

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

Just now, NoProblem said:

Who stays in relationship through letters nowadays.  Seems like this was written in the 90s.

OP said his wife met this person while in rehab/an inpatient facility, so I took it to mean said person is/was still there after wife left. Some of those places may not have means to communicate outside the facility other than letters.

 

OP - this is a sad story to hear. I always hate hearing about beneficiaries who come here with legitimate intentions, and sacrifice everything they do just to have it fall apart. Best of luck to you.

[NoProblem 69]

7 minutes ago, Paul & Mallory said:

OP said his wife met this person while in rehab/an inpatient facility, so I took it to mean said person is/was still there after wife left. Some of those places may not have means to communicate outside the facility other than letters.

Unlikely, but its my opinion.

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

8 minutes ago, NoProblem said:

Unlikely, but its my opinion.

 Unlikely? That's LITERALLY what they said. But ok. It's definitely more likely this was written in the 90s, you're right.

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

23 minutes ago, NoProblem said:

Who stays in relationship through letters nowadays.  Seems like this was written in the 90s.

they are in Chattanooga as i am

Rehab here does not allow phone calls, personal visits, or computer

only letters that they can see and read to control the rehab process

 

write a personal note to me 

[Jaquelly 1,647]

48 minutes ago, NoProblem said:

Unlikely, but its my opinion.

I guess you've never known someone in rehab or prison.

Edited September 20, 2018 by Jaquelly
clarification

[KozmicBlues 592]

I'm really sorry you are dealing with that! Sounds like you are a good person just based on what you've written here, especially caring so much about the stepchildren. Just curious...are the stepchildren your reason for wanting to stay in the US even if the marriage doesn't work out? It always makes me wonder why people who came to the US for a spouse get divorced still want to stay (which is totally their right to do). If I were in that situation I would want to go back to my home country to be around my friends and family, not stick around a place that reminded me of a dissolved marriage. But I'm the USC, so maybe that's just the subconscious privilege speaking. 😁

 

Anyway, in all seriousness - I think you should do what's best for YOU. If staying in the marriage any longer will be detrimental to your own personal life and well-being and there is absolutely no way to reconcile, then you should divorce. Follow the advice about a waiver and be honest and transparent about what happened. Either way, I hope it all works out for you!

[Marieke H 2,512]

1 hour ago, NoProblem said:

Unlikely, but its my opinion.

Does it even matter? Your comments aren't helpful.

 

OP, I am so sorry this is happening to you. It sounds like you have more than enough evidence of a bona fide marriage, so I wouldn't worry about your ROC.