K1 Denied in Islamabad, Pakistan

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

OP what were the questions asked?

[Highmystic 234]

2 hours ago, Ben&Zian said:

 So for instance, if the OP was divorced but never mentioned that or anything much about it, to the CO that could be a little odd as questions naturally would arise about it in general coversation between the two. In some senses it would be like your fiance not knowing your birthday, kind of a bad sign you know.

 

Perhaps the denial is due to missing info on the 129F.  Like if the Petitioner (USC) failed to mention a prior marriage and/or failed to file support docs of divorce decree, etc .  The interviewer would certainly have access to all the info on the 129F AND MORE by running background checks on the petitioner. 

[Illiria 980]

19 hours ago, ChrisPapa said:

information that I never told her about. 

What didn’t you tell her that the co would think that a potential spouse should know? 

[ChrisPapa 4]

59 minutes ago, Illiria said:

What didn’t you tell her that the co would think that a potential spouse should know? 

There are some things that are to remain in the past because they hurt too much.

[HP+IC 292]

7 minutes ago, ChrisPapa said:

There are some things that are to remain in the past because they hurt too much.

Look at it from the other side. What is the fiancee supposed to think if her partner is not sufficiently open with her, and she discovers that from a CO? This is a very traumatizing and even humiliating situation for her. She suddenly realizes you don't trust her enough to be open about your past life. In a genuine relationship, questions would rather arise from lack of trust, not from denial by itself.

[Unlockable 7,314]

1 hour ago, ChrisPapa said:

There are some things that are to remain in the past because they hurt too much.

You are dealing with immigration here. Your justification for not sharing information with the person you want to marry is not going to fly as you now know. They dig into every aspect of your life which is why they take a long time reviewing your case and doing background checks.

 

Whether it hurts you or your fiance, you are going to have to share it with your fiance if you want any hope of immigrating.

[Amnazaid 46]

2 hours ago, ChrisPapa said:

There are some things that are to remain in the past because they hurt too much.

 Can you please tell me what type of questions?

[Ahmed&Freda 628]

7 hours ago, ChrisPapa said:

There are some things that are to remain in the past because they hurt too much.

All the more reason that they should be shared with your soon to be life partner.   She should be aware of your past especially the painful memories.  How else can she learn to understand you?   Not to mention the strength sharing these types of details gives to a relationship!

 

Huge mistake not making her aware and putting her in an uncomfortable situation.  When attending an interview in a high fraud country she needed to be prepared for what she was walking into.

 

 

[Orangesapples 1,954]

7 hours ago, ChrisPapa said:

There are some things that are to remain in the past because they hurt too much.

This is certainly not a healthy way of approaching a marriage, let alone convincing immigration it's a real one. If it's something serious enough that a CO would have a way of knowing about, even more so. Your spouse is supposed to be your best friend, you should not get into a marriage with secrets like that. This is kind of deceiving her and not fair to her. How can you have real emotional intimacy with her if you keep a big part of who you are and what your life is story is, private? I don't say this often, but the consulate was right in denying her visa this time, even just to protect her (especially if your past includes stuff like domestic violence convictions). 

[pb5446 56]

When you guys were kids, did you ever poke at anthills with a stick, and all the ants would come out in a frenzy while you would slink off and watch from a safe distance?

 

That's what some of these posts remind me of.

 

 

(But seriously, what did they ask)

[<3T&M<3 217]

I have to agree with the OP that some things are too painful. There are some things that some of us  will never speak of to others even our spouses and our best friends. And that is okay.

However!!!!! The things I am talking about are things USCIS would never ask about. If USCIS knows then your future spouse needs to know. 

Period.

Edited September 20, 2018 by <3T&M<3

[ChrisPapa 4]

15 hours ago, Ahmed&Freda said:

All the more reason that they should be shared with your soon to be life partner.   She should be aware of your past especially the painful memories.  How else can she learn to understand you?   Not to mention the strength sharing these types of details gives to a relationship!

 

Huge mistake not making her aware and putting her in an uncomfortable situation.  When attending an interview in a high fraud country she needed to be prepared for what she was walking into.

 

 

I totally agree with you.  I should have known.  My mistake.

[ChrisPapa 4]

14 hours ago, Orangesapples said:

This is certainly not a healthy way of approaching a marriage, let alone convincing immigration it's a real one. If it's something serious enough that a CO would have a way of knowing about, even more so. Your spouse is supposed to be your best friend, you should not get into a marriage with secrets like that. This is kind of deceiving her and not fair to her. How can you have real emotional intimacy with her if you keep a big part of who you are and what your life is story is, private? I don't say this often, but the consulate was right in denying her visa this time, even just to protect her (especially if your past includes stuff like domestic violence convictions). 

Whoa!.  No need for accusations like domestic violence.  

[ChrisPapa 4]

11 hours ago, pb5446 said:

When you guys were kids, did you ever poke at anthills with a stick, and all the ants would come out in a frenzy while you would slink off and watch from a safe distance?

 

That's what some of these posts remind me of.

 

 

(But seriously, what did they ask)

I cant share questions on the board, since everyone has access here.  But yeah you are right about the ant hill comment.

 

Those that have their loved ones with them, should feel very lucky.  Take it from someone who left a piece of his heart thousands of miles away.

[Orangesapples 1,954]

57 minutes ago, ChrisPapa said:

Whoa!.  No need for accusations like domestic violence.  

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you but that's definitely one possibility of something the CO would be able to see. I understand why you don't want to share here, I understand it's painful for you but your fiancee needs to know everything about you, no matter how embarrassing, especially stuff that the government knows about you (prior marriages, addiction, criminal history etc.).