Visiting the US after divorce

[Mrsjackson 300]

9 hours ago, debbiedoo said:

you wont get any money back from USCIS

 

you have to have a COURT ORDER to take the child out of the US. discussions and 'agreements' are one thing, legality is another. I am questioned about my childs father EVERY TIME I cross the US/CA border with him. His father is deceased and I carry the death certificate when we travel as proof. 

 

youre giving up on your marriage after 3 months of being here? 

Yes aware of no refund happening. Haven’t filed my AOS yet because the marriage has been tumultuous. 

 

Court order or notarized letter? 

[Mrsjackson 300]

7 hours ago, NikLR said:

Not really, but it's possible.  CBP can be jerks.  You will need a notarized letter from your possible ex spouse to cross the border with the child. Does the child have both a US and Canadian passport? (I assume they were born in Canada because you have barely been in the USA.)

As for visiting, most Canadians dont have issues but you show more immigrant intent than normal so it's possible.  Each time you cross the border you will need a travel consent letter from your spouse (ex spouse?) saying it's okay for the child to travel.  (Yes even if the child is going into the country where they are residing.)   If you started the AOS you can call the USCIS to abandon it.  

 

But I will be super honest with you here, I wanted to move back so many times since I've immigrated.  I cannot imagine how much harder it would have been coming on a K1 either since you can't work or travel or have much independence.  I'm pretty sure the first year hubs and I fought so many times because I had a hard time adjusting.  I still cant believe the ridiculousness of some things like health care down here.  I still miss Canada but not the prices of food or gas.  Certainly not the winter!  So are you homesick and due to that are you arguing more or is something else truly going on that's a deal breaker.  Marriage is work.  It's not easy.  It's not sunshine and rainbows.  I dont believe people when they say they never argue. If you spend more time arguing than not try to figure out the cause.  Why are you so unhappy? Change is hard, even good changes. 

Anyhow, it just seems that this is a very short marriage.  You dont incur a ban until 180 days of overstay btw.   

Thanks for the understanding it helps to hear others have struggled to adjust. It’s not due to homesickness but related to my husband being a jack ### at times to be honest. The adjusting is one thing and then add three children one being an infant and yeah... 

 

My child has a canadian birth certificate and US consular report of birth abroad. She does not have a passport yet. So the 180 rule still applies even with the K1? 

[Villanelle 4,122]

20 minutes ago, Mrsjackson said:

Thanks for the understanding it helps to hear others have struggled to adjust. It’s not due to homesickness but related to my husband being a jack ### at times to be honest. The adjusting is one thing and then add three children one being an infant and yeah... 

 

My child has a canadian birth certificate and US consular report of birth abroad. She does not have a passport yet. So the 180 rule still applies even with the K1? 

The 180 day rule applies with the K visa. It applies with all visas. When were you planning on leaving? The more days you have as overstay the harder it will be to convince them you do not have immigrant intent. Generally anyone who entered on a K and then leaves will be questioned about the situation when trying to re-enter. The first assumption you have to overcome is that you left with out filing for AOS or filed and abandoned it- (which would mean you need to file a CR visa) but are trying to get around it by coming back as a visitor and filing AOS. So showing a divorce decree will demonstrate you can not file for AOS. You wont have an actual decree for a while. Hopefully showing copies of divorce papers filed will satisfy them. You also should speak to an attny to make sure all you agreed upon provisions are worded in a proper legal way. Since the child is an infant they cant travel across the border themselves for visitation so if you are denied the child is not entering either. You have to have wording about what happens in that situation. Try to find an attny that is familiar with these types of situations. If you are close to the border it shouldnt be that hard. Call around. 

[Mrsjackson 300]

10 hours ago, debbiedoo said:

you wont get any money back from USCIS

 

you have to have a COURT ORDER to take the child out of the US. discussions and 'agreements' are one thing, legality is another. I am questioned about my childs father EVERY TIME I cross the US/CA border with him. His father is deceased and I carry the death certificate when we travel as proof. 

 

youre giving up on your marriage after 3 months of being here? 

I have not said that I’m giving up on my marriage yet I’ve just asked a question to see what it might look like to do that. 3 months, 3 years, 3 decades what does the length of time matter? The only two people who know what goes on and why it can or cannot continue are the two spouses.

[Villanelle 4,122]

5 minutes ago, Mrsjackson said:

I have not said that I’m giving up on my marriage yet I’ve just asked a question to see what it might look like to do that. 3 months, 3 years, 3 decades what does the length of time matter? The only two people who know what goes on and why it can or cannot continue are the two spouses.

Some people are curious and will ask questions about things that have impact on the legal immigration issues. You are not obligated to respond to any question. 

[Mrsjackson 300]

6 minutes ago, Damara said:

Some people are curious and will ask questions about things that have impact on the legal immigration issues. You are not obligated to respond to any question. 

Of course I’m not obligated. I wanted to respond. She was curious about ending my marriage so soon and I gave her my insight into why that might be. 

[debbiedoo 2,339]

Whatever floats anyones boat. But if youre asking 3 months in 'what do i do if' (even in theory)..... it might just not be a very good sign.  To each their own... not to mention thats not how i interpreted the question asked. the way the question was written was not theoretical but factual. 

[Villanelle 4,122]

Okay- well if you decide not to divorce you need to file AOS packet asap. The days of overstay between when your k expired and when you are given auth stay for filing wont count for your to AOS. If you file and then decide to leave like stated you wont get your AOS fees back. It also makes it very difficult to calculate overstay as some of the days do count and some dont..

 

To be safe- if you file AOS and then end up leaving with in 180 days of your K expiring then you are under 180 days overstay and dont need to calculate cause its mathematically impossible for you to have more then 180 days. So for simplicity sake try to leave with in the 180 days to ensure no ban. 

[Mrsjackson 300]

9 minutes ago, debbiedoo said:

Whatever floats anyones boat. But if youre asking 3 months in 'what do i do if' (even in theory)..... it might just not be a very good sign.  To each their own... not to mention thats not how i interpreted the question asked. the way the question was written was not theoretical but factual. 

Well of course it’s not a good sign! I’ve been the first one to say my marriage is tumultuous. Who would be thinking this way if all was well. Re: theoretical or factual - in my original post I stated I was contemplating divorce. 

 

[Mrsjackson 300]

11 minutes ago, Damara said:

Okay- well if you decide not to divorce you need to file AOS packet asap. The days of overstay between when your k expired and when you are given auth stay for filing wont count for your to AOS. If you file and then decide to leave like stated you wont get your AOS fees back. It also makes it very difficult to calculate overstay as some of the days do count and some dont..

 

To be safe- if you file AOS and then end up leaving with in 180 days of your K expiring then you are under 180 days overstay and dont need to calculate cause its mathematically impossible for you to have more then 180 days. So for simplicity sake try to leave with in the 180 days to ensure no ban. 

Ok, will definitely keep the 180 days in mind thanks. 

[Boiler 45,571]

If you are not going to adjust it is the 90 days you need to keep in mind.

[NikLR 13,227]

Well both hubs and I have been "my spouse is a jerk."  I've also started having depression so that's newer to me too.  You've gone through a lot lately.  Had a kid.  Immigrated to a new country.  Gotten married.  Tried to blend a family.  None of that is easy when you do one thing at a time, but you're trying to do all of them.  Your husband is also dealing with you living with him, so his world has changed, and now he has 3 children under a roof not just 2.   So the pressure for him to provide and be strong is hard for him too.  All of you have been thrown into a blender and you're trying to make it work. 

 

Perhaps some counselling, at least for yourself, would help.  I saw a therapist in the last year who's taught me more about dealing with my emotions than I've learned on my own in a lifetime, even with self-help books. 

[Mrsjackson 300]

52 minutes ago, NikLR said:

Well both hubs and I have been "my spouse is a jerk."  I've also started having depression so that's newer to me too.  You've gone through a lot lately.  Had a kid.  Immigrated to a new country.  Gotten married.  Tried to blend a family.  None of that is easy when you do one thing at a time, but you're trying to do all of them.  Your husband is also dealing with you living with him, so his world has changed, and now he has 3 children under a roof not just 2.   So the pressure for him to provide and be strong is hard for him too.  All of you have been thrown into a blender and you're trying to make it work. 

 

Perhaps some counselling, at least for yourself, would help.  I saw a therapist in the last year who's taught me more about dealing with my emotions than I've learned on my own in a lifetime, even with self-help books. 

So true. Being a mother to small children has of course run me ragged and I’m sure I’ve been no peach to live with. I’m glad to hear you took care of yourself. Will try and do the same. I googled marriage counsellors in our area last week actually so maybe Monday I’ll give one a call. Thank you. 

[Going through 5,671]

14 hours ago, Mrsjackson said:

Yes aware of no refund happening. Haven’t filed my AOS yet because the marriage has been tumultuous. 

 

Court order or notarized letter? 

Court order for permission to permanently move the child out of the US.  A notarized letter by one parent is useless when it comes to custody matters (it is not legally binding) and can be successfully contested by the father later on (at any point he can claim he signed it under duress/was not fully aware of what he was signing/it is not legally binding, etc.)

 

Canada will require this when you are moving back, as they take potential cross-border parental abduction very seriously (by no means am I suggesting you are planning to abduct her and flee the USA).  

 

Best of luck to you.

 

 

 

[Mrsjackson 300]

3 hours ago, Going through said:

Court order for permission to permanently move the child out of the US.  A notarized letter by one parent is useless when it comes to custody matters (it is not legally binding) and can be successfully contested by the father later on (at any point he can claim he signed it under duress/was not fully aware of what he was signing/it is not legally binding, etc.)

 

Canada will require this when you are moving back, as they take potential cross-border parental abduction very seriously (by no means am I suggesting you are planning to abduct her and flee the USA).  

 

Best of luck to you.

 

 

 

Ok understood. In the event of a split I will have something legally binding from court. Thanks. 

Edited September 9, 2018 by Mrsjackson