Visiting the US after divorce

[Mrsjackson 300]

Hello,

 

I arrived in the US in June on a K1 visa and we married shortly after. Unfortunately, I am contemplating divorce. We have a child together as well as 2 stepchildren (he has 2 from a previous relationship). Now obviously, because I am at such an early stage of the immigration process, should I decided to divorce that stops me from immigrating to the US and I know it. What concerns is being able to visit the US after I leave. Of course it would take some time to divorce. My child has 2 sisters who I want her to be able to have a relationship with of course. I would like to be able to take my child to visit her sisters often after the divorce. How would the fact that I am in the process of divorcing/divorced from my former US citizen spouse impact my being able to visit the US? Would they deny me entry to the US from here on out? 

Edited September 6, 2018 by Mrsjackson

[Boiler 45,571]

So  he is OK with your joint child leaving the US?

[JFH 12,190]

That’s a shame that you have reached the end of the road so quickly. Immigration is a very stressful process and many of us struggle with the changes to our lives when we move. Although I love my husband more than anyone in the world I did struggle in those early months here. I missed England a lot, I missed things I never thought I’d miss. I felt so alone and out of place here. One day I just cried and cried because I wanted to go home to England. It does get easier. 

 

If if you do decide there is absolutely nothing to salvage you won’t be banned from visiting. You will still have the same “immigration intent” hurdle to overcome that ever visitor is assumed to have. But your case won’t be any different from anyone else who has strong ties to the USA. When I visited my husband before I moved here I had to overcome the assumption that I would “forget” to go home. You will have to overcome the assumption that you are coming back to your former husband. It’s no different really. 

[Mrsjackson 300]

20 minutes ago, Boiler said:

So  he is OK with your joint child leaving the US?

Yes should have mentioned that. She’s very young and needs momma. He could in no way do what I do in regards to her. I’d only be moving back to Canada about an hour and a half away. I would be able to take the child from the US and would not be breaking the law. 

[Mrsjackson 300]

10 minutes ago, JFH said:

That’s a shame that you have reached the end of the road so quickly. Immigration is a very stressful process and many of us struggle with the changes to our lives when we move. Although I love my husband more than anyone in the world I did struggle in those early months here. I missed England a lot, I missed things I never thought I’d miss. I felt so alone and out of place here. One day I just cried and cried because I wanted to go home to England. It does get easier. 

 

If if you do decide there is absolutely nothing to salvage you won’t be banned from visiting. You will still have the same “immigration intent” hurdle to overcome that ever visitor is assumed to have. But your case won’t be any different from anyone else who has strong ties to the USA. When I visited my husband before I moved here I had to overcome the assumption that I would “forget” to go home. You will have to overcome the assumption that you are coming back to your former husband. It’s no different really. 

Thanks for the words of support. It’s looking like the end of the road for me but we’ll see. I’m trying everything to salvage it first. The stresses of immigration combined with 3 children is gargantuan. 

 

Would a divorce certificate help? If we were to divorce and I brought it to the border with me and said the marriage is over so now I’m just facilitating my daughter’s relationship with her father and siblings, does that sound like something that would overcome these assumptions? I understand that while we are in the process of divorcing and before it is final that I would probably be more likely to be denied?

Edited September 6, 2018 by Mrsjackson

[JFH 12,190]

Ties to home are more likely to help. Job, lease, financials, etc. Would it be easier for him to bring the children to visit you? 

 

I believe that those of us who moved from very economically advanced countries such as Canada and Western Europe have it a lot harder than people think. We leave so much “structure” behind and it’s very difficult to go from having a fully structured life to starting out again from scratch. I had my own home, car, had a good job, had worked my way up to 8 weeks annual leave each year and was used to traveling several times a year, was used to having other countries that I could visit visa-free on my doorstep (it’s nothing unusual for people to go to Paris or Amsterdam for a weekend if you live in the U.K. Here if I flew the same distance I’d still be in the same state), and I came here and felt like a newborn baby and had to re-do all that I had done - get a drivers license, start to build a credit score, have only 17 days PTO a year because I’ve been with the company less than 3 years, I can’t vote and I have to learn a whole new way of doing things and building up my “structure” again.

[Mrsjackson 300]

18 minutes ago, JFH said:

Ties to home are more likely to help. Job, lease, financials, etc. Would it be easier for him to bring the children to visit you? 

 

I believe that those of us who moved from very economically advanced countries such as Canada and Western Europe have it a lot harder than people think. We leave so much “structure” behind and it’s very difficult to go from having a fully structured life to starting out again from scratch. I had my own home, car, had a good job, had worked my way up to 8 weeks annual leave each year and was used to traveling several times a year, was used to having other countries that I could visit visa-free on my doorstep (it’s nothing unusual for people to go to Paris or Amsterdam for a weekend if you live in the U.K. Here if I flew the same distance I’d still be in the same state), and I came here and felt like a newborn baby and had to re-do all that I had done - get a drivers license, start to build a credit score, have only 17 days PTO a year because I’ve been with the company less than 3 years, I can’t vote and I have to learn a whole new way of doing things and building up my “structure” again.

He could definitely sometimes bring them up to Canada with the sisters however, I think the distance would wear them down if they had to do it quite often. I think both him and I sharing that burden would be the best way to keep them close by having them visit often. They’re 9 and 4 so we don’t want to be putting them through a lot you know? 

 

Ah yes! My mom is from the UK and I have been many times. It was unbelievable taking a boat to France! 

Edited September 6, 2018 by Mrsjackson

[Villanelle 4,122]

4 hours ago, Mrsjackson said:

Yes should have mentioned that. She’s very young and needs momma. He could in no way do what I do in regards to her. I’d only be moving back to Canada about an hour and a half away. I would be able to take the child from the US and would not be breaking the law. 

I think you are missing the point. Yes people are able to take children from the US to Canada permanently. They have court orders that state they can do such. You do not have a court order. You have not even started divorce proceedings. Have you and your spouse discussed this already? Did he say he was okay with you going back to Canada with his child? If you are just assuming you will be allowed to take the child to Canada because you are the primary caregiver you are sorely mistaken. If the dad supports it- it will be easy. If he doesn't then its very unlikely you will be taking the child to Canada. 

[Mrsjackson 300]

1 hour ago, Damara said:

I think you are missing the point. Yes people are able to take children from the US to Canada permanently. They have court orders that state they can do such. You do not have a court order. You have not even started divorce proceedings. Have you and your spouse discussed this already? Did he say he was okay with you going back to Canada with his child? If you are just assuming you will be allowed to take the child to Canada because you are the primary caregiver you are sorely mistaken. If the dad supports it- it will be easy. If he doesn't then its very unlikely you will be taking the child to Canada. 

No I am not missing the point. We have had discussions where I have confirmed with him that he will allow me to leave the US in the event of a break up. 

 

I dont know why you have assumed here that I’m under the impression being the primary gives me permission to leave the country with her if her father does not allow it. I am making these statements based on actual conversations I have had with him. 

Edited September 6, 2018 by Mrsjackson

[Villanelle 4,122]

Ok, thank you for clarifying. 

To get back to your question- when exactly did you enter on the K? what does your stamp say? The K visa gives you 90 days. 91 day you are overstaying. This is assuming you did not file anything. If you did file you will not get your $ back. You should send a letter asking to cancel your AOS packet. Calculating if you have overstay become difficult at that point; you would need to provide exact dates of everything. 

[Mrsjackson 300]

16 hours ago, Damara said:

Ok, thank you for clarifying. 

To get back to your question- when exactly did you enter on the K? what does your stamp say? The K visa gives you 90 days. 91 day you are overstaying. This is assuming you did not file anything. If you did file you will not get your $ back. You should send a letter asking to cancel your AOS packet. Calculating if you have overstay become difficult at that point; you would need to provide exact dates of everything. 

I entered on June 12 with a sept 9th date set as the 90 day expiry. So it being the 7th I assume that if I do not leave within the next 2 days that would be an overstay? Would they use slightly overstaying a K1 as reason for denial? No ideas about getting a refund from USCIS 😂

[Boiler 45,571]

Correct

 

They certainly can

 

USCIS does not do refunds.

[debbiedoo 2,339]

you wont get any money back from USCIS

 

you have to have a COURT ORDER to take the child out of the US. discussions and 'agreements' are one thing, legality is another. I am questioned about my childs father EVERY TIME I cross the US/CA border with him. His father is deceased and I carry the death certificate when we travel as proof. 

 

youre giving up on your marriage after 3 months of being here? 

[NikLR 13,227]

14 hours ago, Mrsjackson said:

I entered on June 12 with a sept 9th date set as the 90 day expiry. So it being the 7th I assume that if I do not leave within the next 2 days that would be an overstay? Would they use slightly overstaying a K1 as reason for denial? No ideas about getting a refund from USCIS 😂

Not really, but it's possible.  CBP can be jerks.  You will need a notarized letter from your possible ex spouse to cross the border with the child. Does the child have both a US and Canadian passport? (I assume they were born in Canada because you have barely been in the USA.)

As for visiting, most Canadians dont have issues but you show more immigrant intent than normal so it's possible.  Each time you cross the border you will need a travel consent letter from your spouse (ex spouse?) saying it's okay for the child to travel.  (Yes even if the child is going into the country where they are residing.)   If you started the AOS you can call the USCIS to abandon it.  

 

But I will be super honest with you here, I wanted to move back so many times since I've immigrated.  I cannot imagine how much harder it would have been coming on a K1 either since you can't work or travel or have much independence.  I'm pretty sure the first year hubs and I fought so many times because I had a hard time adjusting.  I still cant believe the ridiculousness of some things like health care down here.  I still miss Canada but not the prices of food or gas.  Certainly not the winter!  So are you homesick and due to that are you arguing more or is something else truly going on that's a deal breaker.  Marriage is work.  It's not easy.  It's not sunshine and rainbows.  I dont believe people when they say they never argue. If you spend more time arguing than not try to figure out the cause.  Why are you so unhappy? Change is hard, even good changes. 

Anyhow, it just seems that this is a very short marriage.  You dont incur a ban until 180 days of overstay btw.   

Edited September 8, 2018 by NikLR
Small phone keyboards are the devil

[Crazy Cat 41,908]

On 9/6/2018 at 4:25 PM, Mrsjackson said:

We have had discussions where I have confirmed with him that he will allow me to leave the US in the event of a break up. 

In this situation, verbal agreements are useless and dangerous.  You need written consent (which could still be challenged) or a court order (much safer).