Family approval

[Crazy Cat 41,904]

Just now, Reqahmed said:

I think those are in relationship actually know what they doing. 

I strongly disagree with you......LOVE IS BLIND!!!

[debbiedoo 2,339]

1 minute ago, missileman said:

You think love is all that matters?  Will love feed them?  Will love clothe them?  Will love provide them with a living?  

Did you know there is a limit on how many reactions you can give in a day?

 

Now I know.

 

Consider that a 'like' lololol

1 minute ago, missileman said:

I strongly disagree with you......LOVE IS BLIND!!!

good lord am i going to have to log in with my alt account to like ####### the rest of the night? ugh. lolololol

[Bluepanda92 33]

1 minute ago, missileman said:

I strongly disagree with you......LOVE IS BLIND!!!

When it comes to immigration to another country, it's such a slippery slope the slightest mistake can ruin all chances, I learned that from everyone here including you 

[Crazy Cat 41,904]

1 minute ago, Bluepanda92 said:

When it comes to immigration to another country, it's such a slippery slope the slightest mistake can ruin all chances, I learned that from everyone here including you 

I am just saying that love is such a strong emotion, we (myself included) sometimes allow it to over-shadow logic....I was speaking in general terms......I meant no offense.

[Bluepanda92 33]

Just now, missileman said:

I am just saying that love is such a strong emotion, we (myself included) sometimes allow it to over-shadow logic....I was speaking in general terms......I meant no offense.

Yeah I know, no offense taken, love can't buy a roof over our heads or pay taxes and reach the poverty line 

[carmel34 3,636]

Based on personal experience, I totally understand where you're coming from.  You've met someone from another country and connect in a special way online.  When you meet for the first time in person you fall in love and cannot live without each other from that day on.  This is an amazing feeling that sometimes can cloud good solid judgment.  I remember when this happened to me, I considered quitting my job in the US so that I could move to Brazil to be with my boyfriend, to live together so that we would never have to be apart.  But we discussed it and realized that the best thing for both of us would be to live apart and let our relationship develop.  You can find jobs that give you time off for travel.  The income would allow you to live and pay for travel expenses.  Maybe not a month or three months once a year as you have done in the past and had to quit your job.  I would expect that with labor laws in the UK, you would be entitled to two or three weeks vacation per year, you could spread that out and visit three times per year and keep your job.  A year or more of these periodic visits would be good for both of you, to find jobs and become self-sufficient.  Your boyfriend does not have to jump into full-time college right away after high school, he could work full-time and establish a separate household and prepare for the income requirements needed for you to immigrate.  Then when he has sufficient income to meet the requirements, file K1 or CR1 and wait like the rest of us.  Most likely he will need to start visiting you, because it can get tricky to visit on a tourist visa when you are visiting a boyfriend or husband in the US.  You could get denied entry to the US unless you can show strong ties to the UK.  I guess what I'm trying to say is to follow others' advice and let your love continue to get stronger while you work on financial independence.  If you really love each other the distance will not matter, it will only get stronger over time.  And don't let love allow you to make rash decisions that you will regret later.  Think everything through and in the long run life will be better.  Long distance relationships are hard to maintain, but those visits every few months are amazing.  In my case, we have at least a year to wait for the IR1 process to play out.  In the meantime, patience is key.  Good luck to you both.

[mushroomspore 3,044]

26 minutes ago, Reqahmed said:

I am strongly agreed with you. Age not a matter. If person is good than he is same at 19 or 29. It's about person. Sometimes not doing right thing in right time can cause regret end of the day. Only love matter. Good luck.

This is what I meant in my previous post by "idealistic thinking". People change ALL the time. It's why people break up, get divorced, change jobs, change hairstyles, everything. Love is so not enough. There are many drug addicts out there who are told by their families and friends that they are loved. They are shown that. But they still remain drug addicts. There are people in abusive relationships where they tell the abuser, "I love you". But guess what? The abuser still remains an abuser. Love is absolutely not enough. Humans do not work that way and we never will.

[Bluepanda92 33]

So I spoke to him and he said he's fine with any decisions I make and that he will wait aslong as it takes, I had an idea that we tell his parents and then if they say they are ok with it then we will apply for the Cr-1 in September this year and if they aren't ok with it then we can wait a year or two, and we would so ask them if they would be ok for us to live with them rent free untill I get a job ( I know it's alot to ask to a parent but they are kinda rich so it wouldn't be an issue) if they aren't ok with it we can just wait what do you all think of the idea  

Edited August 30, 2018 by Bluepanda92

[carmel34 3,636]

6 minutes ago, Bluepanda92 said:

So I spoke to him and he said he's fine with any decisions I make and that he will wait aslong as it takes, I had an idea that we tell his parents and then if they say they are ok with it then we will apply for the Cr-1 in September this year and if they aren't ok with it then we can wait a year or two, and we would so ask them if they would be ok for us to live with them rent free untill I get a job ( I know it's alot to ask to a parent but they are kinda rich so it wouldn't be an issue) if they aren't ok with it we can just wait what do you all think of the idea  

If his parents are supportive when you tell them your plan, keep in mind that CR1 takes a year or more, and most likely you will need them to be your sponsors, so ask them about that as well.  It's more than simply them being "ok with it."  They would need to commit on paper to support you financially.  Also your boyfriend may have to visit you since US entry for you may be denied unless you can show strong ties to the UK (lease, job, etc.).  If they do not approve of your marriage and immigration plan or do not want to sponsor you, you have no choice but to wait and hope that your boyfriend can get a job that meets the sponsorship requirements for income.  Either way it will be a long road.  Good luck!

[dxec 31]

Reading through all is good you will wait. As for you don't settle for getting a job at mcdonalds because that will get you no where. Those jobs are for kids with no experience. Since you have no work experience I would tell him to make a lot of friends that do have jobs and you as well. Better you come here and a friend helps you get a job because with no skills youll need 2 or 3 jobs to make any kind of living.

[valentinasc 330]

This topic doesn't really seem about family approval but you guys not being there yet in my opinion ..

Me and my husband got married by both of us being 22 years old but let's assume if our families didn't agree (which they kinda did at the beginning for being so young) it didn't matter to us because we both moved out of home at 18 years old and my husband was able to support me financially in everything without needing mommy or daddy.

I don't know, i don't mean to sound bitter but according to all you've written about your relationship you both don't seem ready to embark on this rollercoaster   ...

[Ketsuban 1,034]

31 minutes ago, dxec said:

Reading through all is good you will wait. As for you don't settle for getting a job at mcdonalds because that will get you no where. Those jobs are for kids with no experience. Since you have no work experience I would tell him to make a lot of friends that do have jobs and you as well. Better you come here and a friend helps you get a job because with no skills youll need 2 or 3 jobs to make any kind of living.

I absolutely agree with this. McDonalds pay very low wages and I honestly don't know how the people working there afford to live unless they live with parents, a higher-paid partner, tons of roommates or are surviving on some kind of welfare (welfare that immigrants aren't entitled to). At the drive-thru the other day I noticed they were hiring managers for $10/hr and some change. That is a very low wage for the area I live in and I get paid way more just to sit on my butt all day doing data entry. I was actually pretty disgusted at that, I doubt managing a McDonalds is an easy job 😕 I think OP might benefit from utilising the resources in the UK to get some kind of work experience before heading off to the US, if possible. I don't know how it is now but I remember the Job Centre sending me on training courses and work experience back in the day.

[ronniebreda 120]

Okay, well I guess I should throw my two cents in here, I was 19 (female) when I started the K1 visa process. My fiance (now husband) was 28. I (19) lived at home, was on my parents health insurance, in college, and did not make enough to support him. He had his own house, great career, supported himself, and all that jazz. We were just like you and could not wait to be together. We jumped on the K1 fast. Head diving deep. We got approved and he sold his house, quit his job, and moved into my parents house with me. The only way we could make it was because he had money from selling his house and my parents helped A LOT. There is no way we could have done it without the support (emotionally and financially) from my parents and there is no way we could ever repay them for all of that. 

So...it is certainly possible. I would do it again in a heartbeat, but would I recommend it for other people? Hell no. Its emotionally and financially exhausting. Waiting on the slow government for documents while living off your parents. It gets old real fast. You get tired of living in someone else's house. It takes a lot of money in the USA to get onto your feet and have all of the necessities. Slllowwww down. I don't care if he is the most mature boy you have ever met, 19 is young. It has been about 3 years and I have grown/changed a lot. Focus on yourself. Let him get his life together more. Honestly, if it is mean't to be, the love will still be there when you aren't having to throw everything together to be together. It is probably not what you want to hear, but as someone living through it....slllooww down.  

[Bluepanda92 33]

9 minutes ago, ronniebreda said:

Okay, well I guess I should throw my two cents in here, I was 19 (female) when I started the K1 visa process. My fiance (now husband) was 28. I (19) lived at home, was on my parents health insurance, in college, and did not make enough to support him. He had his own house, great career, supported himself, and all that jazz. We were just like you and could not wait to be together. We jumped on the K1 fast. Head diving deep. We got approved and he sold his house, quit his job, and moved into my parents house with me. The only way we could make it was because he had money from selling his house and my parents helped A LOT. There is no way we could have done it without the support (emotionally and financially) from my parents and there is no way we could ever repay them for all of that. 

So...it is certainly possible. I would do it again in a heartbeat, but would I recommend it for other people? Hell no. Its emotionally and financially exhausting. Waiting on the slow government for documents while living off your parents. It gets old real fast. You get tired of living in someone else's house. It takes a lot of money in the USA to get onto your feet and have all of the necessities. Slllowwww down. I don't care if he is the most mature boy you have ever met, 19 is young. It has been about 3 years and I have grown/changed a lot. Focus on yourself. Let him get his life together more. Honestly, if it is mean't to be, the love will still be there when you aren't having to throw everything together to be together. It is probably not what you want to hear, but as someone living through it....slllooww down.  

I get what you are saying I am still not sure what we are gonna do, the plan really is to tell his parents and if they accept it, asking them if they will be co sponsor, and support us financially untill we get on our feet, as for living with other people id rather do that than to live alone where I'm at now 

[ronniebreda 120]

1 minute ago, Bluepanda92 said:

I get what you are saying I am still not sure what we are gonna do, the plan really is to tell his parents and if they accept it, asking them if they will be co sponsor, and support us financially untill we get on our feet, as for living with other people id rather do that than to live alone where I'm at now 

I understand. Like I said, it is possible and I would do it again. I just wanted to share my kind of similar perspective and tell you that it is not always rainbows and butterflies. I think it is very good that you are listening to others and taking in the advice. It is your life and your final decision. I wish you both the very best on your journey!