Family approval

[Bluepanda92 33]

12 minutes ago, Mr&Mrs G. said:

Sorry you are 25 and unemployed planning to work in McDonald's in the US,. He is 19 earning 20k and about to go to college so he can have a future and you see nothing wrong in him waiting a year or two to start college? 

 

You are betting on his future here and at 25 you need to be the grown up and let him finish his education. He may never get another chance and at 25 he may be the one working in McDonald's.

 

I am worried for both of you, I think you are both caught up in the fairytale love story and not facing reality.

 

 

 

 

 

So your saying we should split up and I'm no good for him? He may even be able to do college next year if his parents are ok with us staying with them which he said they probably would... What's with all these negative comments i know you are all trying to be realistic and I'm not saying your wrong either, there's been a lot of times I attempted to split up with him because I want him to have a good future he's the one that tells me it's ok and he wouldn't want a future without me, we both made the decision to apply for the visa this year OR next year.. it's not ALL me, I want him to have a good future too 

 

Also his sister hasn't started college either she's like 23 and works at McDonald's and lives with his parents Aswell, not saying it's ok to not go to college untill your 23, just saying he has to wait a year anyway cause he missed it this year

Edited September 1, 2018 by Bluepanda92

[Mr&Mrs G. 903]

11 minutes ago, Bluepanda92 said:

So your saying we should split up and I'm no good for him? 

Don't believe I said anything like that in the slightest and I would say your response is very immature.

 

Some are questioning his maturity because he is only 19 but take a look at where he is in life, he has a job, about to start college and seems to be doing good. But you are talking about him giving him his education, which leads me to believe that you are the immature one in this relationship. 

 

At this point this thread is no longer about immigration and should be closed, you guys need a life and career guidance councillor.

 

 

[Wuozopo 4,293]

22 minutes ago, Bluepanda92 said:

So your saying we should split up and I'm no good for him? He may even be able to do college next year if his parents are ok with us staying with them which he said they probably would... What's with all these negative comments i know you are all trying to be realistic and I'm not saying your wrong either, there's been a lot of times I attempted to split up with him because I want him to have a good future he's the one that tells me it's ok and he wouldn't want a future without me, we both made the decision to apply for the visa this year OR next year.. it's not ALL me, I want him to have a good future too 

 

Also his sister hasn't started college either she's like 23 and works at McDonald's and lives with his parents Aswell, not saying it's ok to not go to college untill your 23, just saying he has to wait a year anyway cause he missed it this year

Where will he go to college? Off somewhere or locally and live at home?

What does  he plan to get a degree in? Does he have a career goal/occupation in mind? 

[Bluepanda92 33]

3 minutes ago, Mr&Mrs G. said:

Don't believe I said anything like that in the slightest and I would say your response is very immature.

 

Some are questioning his maturity because he is only 19 but take a look at where he is in life, he has a job, about to start college and seems to be doing good. But you are talking about him giving him his education, which leads me to believe that you are the immature one in this relationship. 

 

At this point this thread is no longer about immigration and should be closed, you guys need a life and career guidance councillor.

 

 

I agree this topic should be closed, I am sick of hearing all these negative comments, I am not telling him to never go to college, he can't go for a year anyway cause he missed the signing up this year, he will likely be going next year. Also like I said twice already, it is HIS choice too! I honestly am done with you, you don't seem to read half of what I explain and you will just come back with more negative comments, yes you are right I am worthless and immature he is mature and has a future

 

1 minute ago, Wuozopo said:

Where will he go to college? Off somewhere or locally and live at home?

What does  he plan to get a degree in? Does he have a career goal/occupation in mind? 

He's going to study computer technology he said it will be mostly homeschooled, he wants to work in an office on computers

[NikLR 13,227]

20 minutes ago, Mr&Mrs G. said:

Don't believe I said anything like that in the slightest and I would say your response is very immature.

 

Some are questioning his maturity because he is only 19 but take a look at where he is in life, he has a job, about to start college and seems to be doing good. But you are talking about him giving him his education, which leads me to believe that you are the immature one in this relationship. 

 

At this point this thread is no longer about immigration and should be closed, you guys need a life and career guidance councillor.

 

 

You didnt read this thread from beginning to end obviously. Everything you've said the OP has already been told and has considered. Many people make their lives work when life isnt easy.  Should the OP decide to go forward, they are the ones who must deal with the consequences of their actions.

 

Have you ever heard the saying "you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink?"  Or maybe "you collect more flies with honey than vinegar."  Maybe you'd want to think on those for your next post. 

[Bluepanda92 33]

3 minutes ago, NikLR said:

You didnt read this thread from beginning to end obviously. Everything you've said the OP has already been told and has considered. Many people make their lives work when life isnt easy.  Should the OP decide to go forward, they are the ones who must deal with the consequences of their actions.

 

Have you ever heard the saying "you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink?"  Or maybe "you collect more flies with honey than vinegar."  Maybe you'd want to think on those for your next post. 

Thanks, at least most the others had the decency to be gentle and kind about it

[Mr&Mrs G. 903]

2 minutes ago, NikLR said:

You didnt read this thread from beginning to end obviously. Everything you've said the OP has already been told and has considered. Many people make their lives work when life isnt easy.  Should the OP decide to go forward, they are the ones who must deal with the consequences of their actions.

 

Have you ever heard the saying "you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink?"  Or maybe "you collect more flies with honey than vinegar."  Maybe you'd want to think on those for your next post. 

I actually read every post in this long thread before I replied. 

 

The sayings I have heard of but for this thread I find the old one "barefoot and pregnant" to be more appropriate.

 

 

[Mr&Mrs G. 903]

2 minutes ago, Bluepanda92 said:

Thanks, at least most the others had the decency to be gentle and kind about it

This is a forum about immigration and every day members here face up to the reality of never seeing their spouses or children again. You want me to be kind and gentle and decent and kind but then you would never hear the truth or understand the reality. 

[NikLR 13,227]

2 minutes ago, Mr&Mrs G. said:

I actually read every post in this long thread before I replied. 

 

The sayings I have heard of but for this thread I find the old one "barefoot and pregnant" to be more appropriate.

 

 

Dont think that one applies to your posting style.

[Bluepanda92 33]

Just now, Mr&Mrs G. said:

This is a forum about immigration and every day members here face up to the reality of never seeing their spouses or children again. You want me to be kind and gentle and decent and kind but then you would never hear the truth or understand the reality. 

You are being way over dramatic, everything you say it's true, I don't say you are wrong, although for him to wait a year or two for college is not going to end his life and career, he's 19, he has plenty of time, and as for your "barefoot and pregnant" comment that is just out right offensive 

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

You can do as your choose, many people have pointed potential problems, based on questions asked it seems like you are both a little overwhelmed by the move, college, beginning s new household, difficulties in immigration.

 

I believe all the advice you have received (even the stuff you don't like) is heartfelt and not meant to put either of you down. Take it in that manner, think about it and apply the things you want. You will prosper or fail based on your own abilities to adapt and merge your lives

 

Good luck

 

 

[Bluepanda92 33]

3 minutes ago, Randyandyuni said:

You can do as your choose, many people have pointed potential problems, based on questions asked it seems like you are both a little overwhelmed by the move, college, beginning s new household, difficulties in immigration.

 

I believe all the advice you have received (even the stuff you don't like) is heartfelt and not meant to put either of you down. Take it in that manner, think about it and apply the things you want. You will prosper or fail based on your own abilities to adapt and merge your lives

 

Good luck

 

 

Thank you, we are still taking into consideration everyone's opinions, and have not yet came to a final decision yet, really it will all come down to what his parents say, if they let us live with them we are going to apply this year, if they don't then we are going to wait a year or two. Not a single comment In this topic is wrong, everyone has very realistic opinions and I respect all of them and really do thank everyone for taking their time to give us advice even the ones that I don't like haha 

[Mr&Mrs G. 903]

23 minutes ago, NikLR said:

Dont think that one applies to your posting style.

Being the father of four daughter's, my youngest is 19 and starts college next week. I asked her if she wanted to move to the US and do college she told me to go get stuffed and she was going to stay in Ireland to go to college with her friends. Girls are hard work, now I'm just a grumpy 53 year old man. 😭

 

 

21 minutes ago, Bluepanda92 said:

You are being way over dramatic, everything you say it's true, I don't say you are wrong, although for him to wait a year or two for college is not going to end his life and career, he's 19, he has plenty of time, and as for your "barefoot and pregnant" comment that is just out right offensive 

The comment is an old saying and was not meant to be offensive but you were being melodramic in your responses to my posts. 

[Bluepanda92 33]

4 minutes ago, Mr&Mrs G. said:

Being the father of four daughter's, my youngest is 19 and starts college next week. I asked her if she wanted to move to the US and do college she told me to go get stuffed and she was going to stay in Ireland to go to college with her friends. Girls are hard work, now I'm just a grumpy 53 year old man. 😭

 

 

The comment is an old saying and was not meant to be offensive but you were being melodramic in your responses to my posts. 

Ok my apologies, anyway we haven't come to a final decision just yet, even though Everything you said was on the blunt side, I do think you are right and will keep it in mind when I visit him next week 

[Wuozopo 4,293]

Have you two considered Starbucks? They offer decent pay and benefits if you work just 20 hours a week. They have health insurance, company matching  401K plans, and pay full college tuition to Univ of Arizona online degree plans until you get a bachelor's degree.  One of our favorite baristas just finished her degree online  and flew out to AZ to go through the whole cap and gown graduation ceremony onsite.