Overstayed, what should I do?

[Crazy Cat 42,547]

Just now, EM_Vandaveer said:

What were you referring to? Not a problem for a spouse of USC to adjust status, even after overstay. As the person hasn't left yet, they did not occur a ban. Unless they have a criminal record, I don't see a problem (unless of course they're unwilling to get married).

Check your private messages.......

[EM_Vandaveer 2,417]

Just now, missileman said:

Check your private messages.......

I did. By USCIS' own policy, in the case of no other negative factors, intent is NOT a reason to deny the AOS application of a spouse of a USC.

[AshMarty 360]

If you are dating internationally, you are going to have to be okay with long distance. As we all have had to do this, which is why we are on this forum. I think it would be a red flag that if you move back then you will have to break up; relationships that are meant to be will withstand these challenges. (My husband had to move back to his home country when he lost his work visa).

 

My thoughts to you, if it is meant to be even a long distance relationship will work because both people want to make it work. Then if it is meant to be then you can talk marriage and the next step.

 

Dating internationally can be fun but comes with challenges.  You are going to have to be okay and flexible with distance. My husband and I did it for two years (24-30 hours travel to visit each other). Dating him was the easiest relationship I have ever been in, even with the extra challenge of distance.  

Edited August 29, 2018 by AshMarty

[User2018 0]

Unfortunately you’re kind of out of options if you wanna stick to this relationship. You need to get married and file for AOS ASAP. If he doesn’t have a job just get a co-sponsor. Marry and file ASAP because you’re at risk for deportation until you do. 

[anamono 0]

What always surprises me is how easy it is for people to judge. "Not ready for marriage". Calling someone not ready for marriage isn't your call, you know nothing about our lives or situation.

Let me clarify: We've been friends for a good 10 years if not more, while having met up IRL only twice, we do have history.

Or how about this, if I'm not ready, a whole lot of people aren't. I don't think it's about readiness, more about commitment and willingness.

So in short, I'm ready for marriage but thank you for judging it without any information anyway, it's appreciated, not what I came to ask, not what I asked for an opinion on, it would've been different if I asked.

And additionally, we'd rather be common law for the rest of our lives if we could. Don't like the full commitment of marriage or the religion background of it, please respect that instead of saying that we're not ready (because by that logic we'll never will).

Thing is, if marriage is the only option to legally be recognized as spouse/partner, so be it, guess we'll have to? Because otherwise we could practically never be together in the US.

 

Good news though, my boyfriend just got an offer as a senior software engineer. The point about healthcare is why I specifically mentioned that we're in a high pay city and work in a STEM field, it's covered 99% of times (including family) and we have the income to make up for it.

That also means we'll get married soon and file the forms, unfortunately I didn't get the help I was looking for here(e.g. info on deportation risk) because everyone felt the need to tell me how I'm not ready for marriage but thanks anyway.

[Roel 7,193]

19 hours ago, anamono said:

That was the original plan. Get to know each other better (our second time seeing each other IRL

 

19 hours ago, anamono said:

Me going back would mean we'd break up, 

 

19 hours ago, anamono said:

 

1. Maybe a shot in the dark but is there any way for me to legally stay here without getting married to him, e.g. something like common law partnership? As far as I know that's common in most western countries.

 

 

Geeee I wonder why people saw that as you not being ready to get married. Wonder why huh? 

 

Also you got an answer about deportation. Until you file for AOS, you can be deported any moment. 

[Crazy Cat 42,547]

18 minutes ago, anamono said:

I didn't get the help I was looking for here(e.g. info on deportation risk)

I suggest you reread the thread.........maybe 2 or 3 more times........you got exactly the advice you requested about deportation risk!!......you just got more advice that you didn't like.

Edited August 29, 2018 by missileman

[mushroomspore 3,044]

8 minutes ago, anamono said:

What always surprises me is how easy it is for people to judge. "Not ready for marriage". Calling someone not ready for marriage isn't your call, you know nothing about our lives or situation.

Let me clarify: We've been friends for a good 10 years if not more, while having met up IRL only twice, we do have history.

Or how about this, if I'm not ready, a whole lot of people aren't. I don't think it's about readiness, more about commitment and willingness.

So in short, I'm ready for marriage but thank you for judging it without any information anyway, it's appreciated, not what I came to ask, not what I asked for an opinion on, it would've been different if I asked.

And additionally, we'd rather be common law for the rest of our lives if we could. Don't like the full commitment of marriage or the religion background of it, please respect that instead of saying that we're not ready (because by that logic we'll never will).

Thing is, if marriage is the only option to legally be recognized as spouse/partner, so be it, guess we'll have to? Because otherwise we could practically never be together in the US.

 

Good news though, my boyfriend just got an offer as a senior software engineer. The point about healthcare is why I specifically mentioned that we're in a high pay city and work in a STEM field, it's covered 99% of times (including family) and we have the income to make up for it.

That also means we'll get married soon and file the forms, unfortunately I didn't get the help I was looking for here(e.g. info on deportation risk) because everyone felt the need to tell me how I'm not ready for marriage but thanks anyway.

Sorry if we came across as judgemental. However, we did not realize you and your boyfriend had actually known each other for over 10 years. All we really knew was that you had met IRL only twice. And we did make it clear you are at risk for deportation. There's not much more to say about that.

 

I hope that you can also understand our perspective a little better. We, who commented here, are going through the immigration process and are very well-versed in it. The US is still a very sought-after country for immigrants but it also has one of the toughest legal immigration systems. We get many people on here who ask questions on how to skirt the system, if they will be approved for a visa when they have not even met their boyfriend or girlfriend face-to-face and all kinds of ridiculous scenarios. So I hope you can understand a little more why we tend to operate with a little bit of skepticism. USCIS does too. So does CBP. They are operating on the presumption that applicants and travelers are NOT being 100% honest. It is up to the applicant(s) to overcome that presumption.

 

Secondly, it is simply a FACT that this process brings about stress. Most couples don't ever have to deal with this stuff. It's a FACT that the process adds a whole new and different dimension to your relationship. This is a fact that needs to be acknowledged before making the decision. Not all couples make it, even after marrying and filing the right papers. You both need to understand the full scope of what you're in for because it is not easy, fast or fun. Good luck.

[AshMarty 360]

When you give four paragraphs of rambling concerns about how you came to your predicament in your relationship, people will form opinions and offer advise on a forum like VJ.

 

If you don't want to hear so much advise/comments, next time keep your question more precise (2 or 3 sentences would have been adequate), no need for so much background unless you are open to feedback.

 

This is an open forum for advice on immigration from people that have personally already been through it. The more information you offer, the more advise (solicited and unsolicited) you will receive.  

  

[FlashLG 152]

57 minutes ago, anamono said:

Good news though, my boyfriend just got an offer as a senior software engineer. The point about healthcare is why I specifically mentioned that we're in a high pay city and work in a STEM field, it's covered 99% of times (including family) and we have the income to make up for it.

That also means we'll get married soon and file the forms, unfortunately I didn't get the help I was looking for here(e.g. info on deportation risk) because everyone felt the need to tell me how I'm not ready for marriage but thanks anyway.

Did you read all of the replies? You definitely received sound advice on your deportation risk.

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

While I absolutely agree that it's no one's place to judge or determine the moral or emotional compass of your relationship unless directly asked.... you made multiple comments leading people to the assessment that you were not ready for marriage, at least no time soon. In fact, I believe one of your original questions was specifically how to move forward without getting married. So, let's be fair here. That's what most people were probably responding to.

 

I believe you did receive the question you say you came to have answered - yes. You are at risk of deportation in your current status. Not sure how much more clear that could've been communicated.

 

Final (personal) thought - don't get married just for the sake of immigration. Not only is it a bad idea for anyone's relationship (not just yours), immigration officers aren't usually dumb. If at any time it's suspected that you guys entered into legal marriage for the sole, or primary, purpose of immigration, you risk getting denied.

 

I'd say this to anyone, in any situation regarding immigration - determine all available, plausible options for your scenario. Between you and your partner, weed out the ones that will not work for you, as far as the sake of your relationship and what you are both willing to do. Whatever options that leaves you with, determine the best one for your relationship in the long run. Unfortunately, many cases involving legal immigration will come with a period of time where you will be apart. If this is not something either or both of you are willing to take on, then perhaps American immigration may not be the top of your list of preferences.

 

Good luck to you both, whichever path you choose.

[A&H2018 148]

I suggest you do not start your AOS interview with, "we would have prefer to be common-law rest of our lives, but silly American law said we have to get married, no really we do not like this whole full commitment of marriage thing".

 

Maybe you need to search up on what an i-864 is before filling out all those forms.

Edited August 29, 2018 by A&H2018

[EM_Vandaveer 2,417]

8 hours ago, amdublin14 said:

I didn't mention illegality, just questioning the process and difficulty of proving/disproving intent, which is a very delicate thing to hinge the application on... But to each his own.

Intent is NOT a reason to deny (per USCIS' own policy) the AOS application of a spouse of a USC.

[EM_Vandaveer 2,417]

If you stay mostly home, the deportation risk is quite low. It definitely exists, though. I'd marry & file for a GC, personally. It obviously is NOT a sham marriage, you two are in love. You guys are probably not the only ones whose plans to marry are hurried up by bureaucracy...

[C&AH 104]

On 8/28/2018 at 6:36 PM, anamono said:

Me going back would mean we'd break up, maybe it's too much to ask but we'd like to be together, if we can't there's not really much point of it to us.

 

 

I'm curious as to why you would break up if you went back. Think about what you are saying here before getting married. If your relationship is strong, then it can weather any storm even if that means being on opposite sides of the world.

 

My wife and I have a theory. If a relationship cannot survive the immigration process then it will end for some other reason down the road anyway. I don't know you but I will say that if it is meant to be, then your relationship will survive even if you ended up being deported. Many here have given you advice on how to prevent that from happening.

 

Just slow down and think things through carefully. Only you and your significant other can decide what is best for you given the facts that you now have thanks to many on this forum who know what they are talking about. The information is now yours to do with what you choose. Keep in mind, good or bad, consequences will follow your decisions. Best of luck to you on your journey.

Edited August 29, 2018 by C&AH