Wedding Dates

[cellarlily 0]

There's nothing wrong with getting the initial planning done while you're waiting for your visa, just don't book anything or lock yourself into a date because, believe me, it will not happen on the date you plan. We filed for K1 in June thinking it would be approved lickity-split. Yeah...

What I did between NOA1 and when he arrived was talk with him about exactly what type of ceremony we wanted...how many people, where to have the ceremony, where to have the reception, and worked out all the logistics. I made many lists of things we had to do once he came to the US as well as how much it would all cost (so we know how much we have to save up before then). We looked at restaurants' menus online together, ruled out a lot of places, and did a lot of preliminary research that anyone getting married has to do.

There's no problem in doing that as long as you don't get so in love with a certain date because you have no idea when your fiance(e) may be here.

[Cassie 8]

Don't forget, you have 6 months to activate the K-1 visa.

There's nothing wrong with getting the initial planning done while you're waiting for your visa, just don't book anything or lock yourself into a date because, believe me, it will not happen on the date you plan. We filed for K1 in June thinking it would be approved lickity-split. Yeah...

What I did between NOA1 and when he arrived was talk with him about exactly what type of ceremony we wanted...how many people, where to have the ceremony, where to have the reception, and worked out all the logistics. I made many lists of things we had to do once he came to the US as well as how much it would all cost (so we know how much we have to save up before then). We looked at restaurants' menus online together, ruled out a lot of places, and did a lot of preliminary research that anyone getting married has to do.

There's no problem in doing that as long as you don't get so in love with a certain date because you have no idea when your fiance(e) may be here.

That's exactly what we did. We figured out exactly what we wanted and got as much done as we possibly could ourselves, so that when we did the set the date, we could be ready very quickly.

[cellarlily 0]

He's been here for 3 months now and we're still no closer to our "real" wedding. :X We need his income to start booking spaces. At least we have a restaurant picked out... We're aiming for September. I think.

[Caladan 19]

I just want to be as efficient as possible. I will mostly likely have a big wedding which these things take forever to plan - or at least obtaining available space and really wanted to have it Oct/Nov of 07. I just wanted to see if anyone had any experience in the this gamble and how it worked out for them.

We received our visa on Valentine's Day and are getting married this July 20th. We are having a big-style small wedding and the two things that were key for us: having the wedding on a Friday (easier to find locations and vendors) and delaying C.'s entry a few months.

You can get a lot planned ahead of time. The big thing is not to fix a date. But you could have your bridemaids, for example, take care of their dresses, or find your own gown, or get together the guestlist.

Oh, and I forgot to mention. We booked everything in one week during March except the florist, which we finalized a couple days ago.

[Converse34 1]

You do have another option...... you have a legal wedding once you arrive within the 90 days and you then plan a big family wedding for a later date.... this is a much safer option and you then have time to enjoy all the planning without the worry of visa's.....

Kez

This is certainly an option, but I am so looking forward to the whole nervousness of "this is it - im getting married". But getting married legally beforehand it is such an anticlimax and what - do you go to the court house and then go home and eat afterwards like it was just another errand you had to do? and then when you do have your big ceremony - it isn't a big deal because you are already married!

i considered this option because i really wanted to go on honeymoon in south america - but i decided i loved the whole build up to the wedding more and will just honeymoon in the US.

[Converse34 1]

Be honest with yourself. Is it possible you only want to plan this wedding as a distraction from the wait? Or that, in your mind, some how if you plan a date you have something to countdown to?

See to me it really isnt a distraction. I am lucky enough to go back to the UK about twice a month and to me it is more about planning the wedding that I want and I don't want to not be able to get the venue or other vendors that I have my eye on because I waited too long. I guess it is just finding that right balance. It isn't that I am inflexible, but I know exactly how I want it in my head and I don't feel I should have to "settle" for what is available.

[no name 1]

This is certainly an option, but I am so looking forward to the whole nervousness of "this is it - im getting married". But getting married legally beforehand it is such an anticlimax and what - do you go to the court house and then go home and eat afterwards like it was just another errand you had to do? and then when you do have your big ceremony - it isn't a big deal because you are already married!

I'm kinda offended at how you wrote that. MANY VJers do it this way, because we have to. Guess what, it's not ideal, but hey, life's not fair! In no way was it anti-climactic. As one VJer has said, having the hoopla first (because you had to have a 'wedding' & didn't get your visa in time) and then having to go home & wait for your visa, only to later do the ceremony (at a courthouse, as just another errand) is more of a letdown than doing legal first then a big wedding.

He moved here, we did the legal thing first, and had my family there & had a lovely dinner that night & hotel stay. It was most definitely not 'another errand' we had to do. He planned the wedding with me, while we waited for the GC papers. He helped me make things for the wedding & was very much more a part of it than planning ti while he lived abroad.

Then we planned the big wedding which was just as fun as I expect a "this is it - im getting married" experience.

Edited May 16, 2007 by devilette

[Converse34 1]

This is certainly an option, but I am so looking forward to the whole nervousness of "this is it - im getting married". But getting married legally beforehand it is such an anticlimax and what - do you go to the court house and then go home and eat afterwards like it was just another errand you had to do? and then when you do have your big ceremony - it isn't a big deal because you are already married!

I'm kinda offended at how you wrote that. MANY VJers do it this way, because we have to. Guess what, it's not ideal, but hey, life's not fair! In no way was it anti-climactic. As one VJer has said, having the hoopla first (because you had to have a 'wedding' & didn't get your visa in time) and then having to go home & wait for your visa, only to later do the ceremony (at a courthouse, as just another errand) is more of a letdown than doing legal first then a big wedding.

He moved here, we did the legal thing first, and had my family there & had a lovely dinner that night & hotel stay. It was most definitely not 'another errand' we had to do. He planned the wedding with me, while we waited for the GC papers. He helped me make things for the wedding & was very much more a part of it than planning ti while he lived abroad.

Then we planned the big wedding which was just as fun as I expect a "this is it - im getting married" experience.

Well, this is of course just my opinion. And you don't HAVE to do it that way. You always have a choice, it may just mean waiting longer to be together. So please don't take it personal, I am simply giving my view as this is indeed a forum for discussion.

[Dwarf_Ogress 0]

I guess me and Marlon will get married as soon as I let him out of my bedroom!

Oops, did I say that out loud?

[GrenadianCrix 1]

I guess me and Marlon will get married as soon as I let him out of my bedroom!

Oops, did I say that out loud?

[CarlaM 0]

it seems after all, I will be there 4 my birthday, and probably hve the wedding on the same day

[Dan&Tiffany 0]

What a fantastic birthday gift!!

[msu17 0]

it seems after all, I will be there 4 my birthday, and probably hve the wedding on the same day

Just an update for us as well... We are sending back packet 3 tomorrow and expecting an interview in the next month or two. So I've put money down for our cake, which we can't move and put $ down for the hall which we can move. Since we are doing it on a Thursday evening, everything is available and a lot less than on a weekend. All the people I really want at the wedding can make it on a weekday, so that is the perfect compromise for us.

[Dan&Tiffany 0]

it seems after all, I will be there 4 my birthday, and probably hve the wedding on the same day

Just an update for us as well... We are sending back packet 3 tomorrow and expecting an interview in the next month or two. So I've put money down for our cake, which we can't move and put $ down for the hall which we can move. Since we are doing it on a Thursday evening, everything is available and a lot less than on a weekend. All the people I really want at the wedding can make it on a weekday, so that is the perfect compromise for us.

That's great! Congrats to you!

[jundp 191]

Gratz to you who are so close! Yay!

I guess we're doing it backwards as far as the weddings go. The religious ceremony in Germany will include all of P's family and quite a few of my friends and family. Even thoguh we'll be doing the "real" wedding in Seattle later. We didn't like the idea of splitting it, but there was no way his very large and very close family could all be in Seattle for the legal ceremony. This way, his family gets to be involved and we don't have to worry about timelines. If his visa isn't approved by the time we do the ceremony in Germany, it's not that big of a deal, because I can come home and we'll wait. If it is, then we haven't broken any laws because religious ceremonies in Germany aren't legal.

This won't work for all couples, but because of the logistical issues surrounding his family's presence, this seemed like the best route for us.

I think it's different for everyone. This isn't my first wedding and we aren't wealthy, so a huge affair isn't an option for us anyway....