Wedding Dates

[Converse34 1]

If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong! May is a lovely month in New Jersey. Until that visa is in hand anything and everything can go wrong. WAIT!

But Fall is nicer! I know, I know. I am waiting...

[Dan&Tiffany 0]

We actually have went ahead and booked things (against all of the advise of every single person on here), but all of the vendors we chose are ones that will reschedule for no fees. Of course picking a new date would be a nightmare, but hey - that's only gambling a bit of stress, not thousands of $$$. All of the people we've ended up going with are very understanding. Like you say - our road to the alter is MUCH different than most.

I'm still hoping with all my heart that he's here by mid-August. Whether or not it happens remains to be seen. If London keeps up the current pace and CSC goes back to work - it very well may. Then again - if not - no airlines book for his family or anything like that. The dress will work regardless if it's a month or so late - it's always damn hot in Texas. Worse case scenario - an extra alteration there.

We're waiting to order invitations until closer to time. Truth is we'd already ordered them once and had to toss them because we changed venues for the reception. ALL weddings have stress, but HA! most brides have no idea, right ladies?

Yeah, seriously. Those bridzillas on TV should try adding this immigration stuff to their planning!

Yeah, I was thinking that most vendors would let you move the date (except maybe the receiption hall? or maybe just charge you a smaller fee) if you had to rather than canceling. Can I ask when you what date you were planning on?

We plan for August 11. Already got flamed for posting this before because "oh no, never going to happen." So, bring it again! If we have to change it, we have to change it. Que sera sera. I have definitely learned not to sweat the small stuff so much in this whole process.

And actually our reception venue has been AMAZING. Considering it's a reception for 300+ people, I've been amazed at how flexible and helpful they've been. The coordinator even offered to call me before they booked any other event in th general time frame - just to check on the visa status to see if it's on "average" timeframe (whatever that is, right?)

[msu17 0]

So how many of you out there have booked a wedding without yet being approved and how much time do you have left to get the K1?

I am so tempted to start booking things - but I know it is best to wait... ugh!

I completely agree... Even if we had a "normal" relationship, we'd still be behind wanting to get married this summer. What we are doing is figuring out where we want it, the cake etc and explaining our situation to the vendors. So far everyone has been VERY understanding (especially since we are going to do it on a weekday). We have put money down on a hall, but they allow us to move the date to another free one anytime within a year and not loose any money. So we decided to reserve a date and change it if need be. Ask and see if any of the vendors would be willing to do that as well.

[Kym 0]

Please be very careful with that! I can speak from experience that so many things can go wrong.

Me and my fiance started our process/filing back in June '06. We even hired a lawyer to ensure a smooth process without complications. Boy were we stupid. We also wanted a big wedding and in order to do that you just need to start planning and booking as early as possible, right? So I planned a pretty elaborate wedding and planned to get married April 21. We were even assured by our lawyer that date should be no problem. In February '07 I found out (through the help of this message board) that our case had been filed wrong by our lawyer and we essentially had to start all over. I had to cancel our wedding less then 2 months prior. It was devastating for me and my fiance.

We have now refiled and are in the waiting process once again. No way would we plan another wedding, as a matter of fact, we no longer want a big wedding. We certainly learned our lesson the hard way...not to mention we are out quite a lot of money.

Good luck with your process and if you do decide to plan your wedding ahead of time, keep all receipts and try to book people that are willing to refund deposits...just in case.

[Kym 0]

I completely agree... Even if we had a "normal" relationship, we'd still be behind wanting to get married this summer. What we are doing is figuring out where we want it, the cake etc and explaining our situation to the vendors. So far everyone has been VERY understanding (especially since we are going to do it on a weekday). We have put money down on a hall, but they allow us to move the date to another free one anytime within a year and not loose any money. So we decided to reserve a date and change it if need be. Ask and see if any of the vendors would be willing to do that as well.

That is exactly what I did when booking for our wedding. I was very careful and explained to all the venders our situation. We too had the option to move our dates and what not. It still bit us in the behind. In order for us to move a date, we would need his approval first (because why risk it again without an approval?) and have to be married within 90 days (give or take a few). Very few venders have openings (at least the ones we had booked) the close in date. Plus we had gone out and bought (like fools) things like wedding dress, bridesmaid/flowergirl dresses, decorations, dinner settings....I could go on and on.

[Disco 0]

We started doing some planning. My fiance and I went around downtown Chicago with a few ideas of what we wanted and started talking to hotels. Yeah we thought the worst part was how they jacked up the price trying to sell us their "wedding package", always to large and nothing personel about what they offer.

Then the waiting started. At times I just want to give up on any kind of "wedding". I just want him here, now. Screw the rest. He trys to claim me down when I tell him I don't want a reception any more.

Be honest with yourself. Is it possible you only want to plan this wedding as a distraction from the wait? Or that, in your mind, some how if you plan a date you have something to countdown to?

Think about it. How many of you here have some kind to totally pointless "count down". You look at how long it took others so maybe you only have 30 more days until the NOA2 or the interview when the fact is we all know there is no count down 'til he or she gets here.

Don't make plans. You're trying so hard to control a situation you can't control.

[Dan&Tiffany 0]

Don't make plans. You're trying so hard to control a situation you can't control.

Any shred of control went out the window the moment the government became involved in our relationship. We just both really want a "proper" wedding with both of the families there. Simple as that. Just because we're an international couple shouldn't mean that we don't get to have this. You all know how long it can take to plan a wedding.

I will admit that it is a nice distraction, but it's also added stress - even switch there I'd say.

I guess it just all comes down to preference, really. Luckily, my family lives in a fairly small town. Booking for venues and vendors isn't quite the fiasco it would be if we were doing it here in Dallas or some other large city. Many of the vendors are actually personal contacts of family and friends - that helps - they tend to be more flexible!

As I said before - if we have to move it, we can. Not that it would be an ideal situation, but hey - is ANYTHING about the whole immigration process ideal?

So, for those of us crazy enough to pre-plan a wedding - best of luck to us all for getting that visa before the planned "I Do's."

Edited May 15, 2007 by Dan&Tiffany

[Eli_y_Mauri 0]

I only set a wedding date after my fiance received his interview appointment, which is next Monday the 21st. Although, I have been planning the little details and buying what I could since we sent in the petition in December. Ours will be a simple church wedding and on a tight budget.

I hope all goes well for you!

[marieke 1]

Me and thomas are not going to book anything before i have my visa in hand. Just dont want to have that stress now and we dont want a huge wedding. There will be 50+ people and some of my family. Things as decorations, cake and photo's will be done by his friends, all qualified artists and photographers. I guess we were lucky with that. The venue we will decide when i have my visa. This can be in several places. Plan A in Galveston (on beach or indoors), Plan B in Livingston. There is a plan C and D aswell

but good luck whatever you all decide! The 'i do's' will happen no matter what!

[Elmira 1]

Wedding date is the main issue we have... We set the date as 1 December 2007. it is already 50 days as we got NOA-1. So hopefully we will have everything on time. We plan that I have visa in hand by October, when we send our petition in March. Unfortunatelly we can't wait till the last moment as our relatives and friends need to set the date of their vacation. People will arrive from the different places as UK, Kenya, Kazakhstan, Russia, Canada, India etc... My Fiance booked church, reception hall, etc... We can't tell our quests in 1 months advance "You are welcome to our wedding"!, as all of them are very busy people, as well as my parents. So it is big risk, but we don't have another option

[Kez/JWolf 6]

You do have another option...... you have a legal wedding once you arrive within the 90 days and you then plan a big family wedding for a later date.... this is a much safer option and you then have time to enjoy all the planning without the worry of visa's.....

Kez

[Elmira 1]

You do have another option...... you have a legal wedding once you arrive within the 90 days and you then plan a big family wedding for a later date.... this is a much safer option and you then have time to enjoy all the planning without the worry of visa's.....

Kez

Thank you for advice. but the problem we want proper wedding.... We think is not fair... if we are citizens of different countries we shouldn't have proper wedding... I don't want to say YES without our families... So we are taking this risk...

[no name 1]

You do have another option...... you have a legal wedding once you arrive within the 90 days and you then plan a big family wedding for a later date.... this is a much safer option and you then have time to enjoy all the planning without the worry of visa's.....

Kez

Thank you for advice. but the problem we want proper wedding.... We think is not fair... if we are citizens of different countries we shouldn't have proper wedding... I don't want to say YES without our families... So we are taking this risk...

There is nothing fair abour weddings, ever, immigration or not. There are ways to do it like Niagaenola said but hey, you want to risk losing lots of $$, you go ahead.

[TimsDaisy 0]

It all comes down to every couple's comfort level with risk.

If you don't mind living with uncertainty, plan away.

I spent the time during the 111 days I spent waiting for the NOA2 decidedly NOT thinking about wedding stuff. Now that we're Embassy-bound, I am thinking about wedding stuff again. I may or may not be planning things. I'm going to talk with vendors and find out how flexible they may be, given our situation. If they won't be flexible, and the risked financial losses start to outweigh what is reasonable for us, then I shelve the wedding nonsense and wait a little longer.

And Elmira - you're totally right. It is a huge pile of unfair ####### that the government sets completely unrealistic expectations on the wedding part, while sorta, half-arsed expecting us to prove the traditional American notion of a couple engaged. They shouldn't get to have it both ways.

But it is what it is. Whatever data is available is available, people can plan accordingly based on their timelines.

[TimsDaisy 0]

Please be very careful with that! I can speak from experience that so many things can go wrong.

Me and my fiance started our process/filing back in June '06. We even hired a lawyer to ensure a smooth process without complications. Boy were we stupid. We also wanted a big wedding and in order to do that you just need to start planning and booking as early as possible, right? So I planned a pretty elaborate wedding and planned to get married April 21. We were even assured by our lawyer that date should be no problem. In February '07 I found out (through the help of this message board) that our case had been filed wrong by our lawyer and we essentially had to start all over. I had to cancel our wedding less then 2 months prior. It was devastating for me and my fiance.

We have now refiled and are in the waiting process once again. No way would we plan another wedding, as a matter of fact, we no longer want a big wedding. We certainly learned our lesson the hard way...not to mention we are out quite a lot of money.

Good luck with your process and if you do decide to plan your wedding ahead of time, keep all receipts and try to book people that are willing to refund deposits...just in case.

Oh Kym! I remember your situation - that was HORRIBLE! I hope you went after that lawyer for everything he's worth. And I hope you're working with a congressional or senate office to see if they can do anything to help you.