Filing I-751 with Divorce or Abuse waiver?

[Adelina28 3]

  Hi, I need an advice on my ROC situation. I got married to my husband 2,5 years ago and after about a year of marriage he started to show more and more signs of emotional abuse. I tryed to work it out, walked on eggshells for a while, suggested to go to conseling together (he refused). With time things got worse, including him flirting with other women, establishing weird ''friendships" with them etc. To keep things short, 2 month before we were supposed to file I 751 jointly things turned ugly, he got drunk and it ended with this time physical abuse. I ended up not calling police 😐 because I was too afraid of him. Next morning we filed for divorce, which is still not finalized by now and I'm still waiting for a decree so I can send the paperwork.  And it's only about a month left for me to file I-751

 I'm trying to decide what should I do now:

  - keep waiting for final divorce decree and send papers then, or if I won't get it on time send I 751 with a Divoce Waiver anyway and send them decree later when I get it.

  - file with Abuse Waiver (I have a few screenshots of his messages where he's namecalling and using all kinds of derogatory words towards me, a few audio recordings, and my written notes of most outrageous instances.., and a couple statements from my coworkers who witnessed how distressed I was from all that situation at home), but I think it will be hard to prove this kind of abuse - when you don't have marks on your body or police reports.☹️

 - 3rd option is to file jointly for now (after I moved out, our communication got much better and we don't appiear like ''enemies'' anymore) and send divorce decree to USCIS after I'll receive it?

 

 I would appreciate any advice! I don't have much time left and I don't have money for the attorney - I had to spend a lot on getting my own place to live, starting everything from scratch..

Thank you!

 

[Villanelle 4,122]

11 hours ago, Adelina28 said:

  Hi, I need an advice on my ROC situation. I got married to my husband 2,5 years ago and after about a year of marriage he started to show more and more signs of emotional abuse. I tryed to work it out, walked on eggshells for a while, suggested to go to conseling together (he refused). With time things got worse, including him flirting with other women, establishing weird ''friendships" with them etc. To keep things short, 2 month before we were supposed to file I 751 jointly things turned ugly, he got drunk and it ended with this time physical abuse. I ended up not calling police 😐 because I was too afraid of him. Next morning we filed for divorce, which is still not finalized by now and I'm still waiting for a decree so I can send the paperwork.  And it's only about a month left for me to file I-751

 I'm trying to decide what should I do now:

  - keep waiting for final divorce decree and send papers then, or if I won't get it on time send I 751 with a Divoce Waiver anyway and send them decree later when I get it.

  - file with Abuse Waiver (I have a few screenshots of his messages where he's namecalling and using all kinds of derogatory words towards me, a few audio recordings, and my written notes of most outrageous instances.., and a couple statements from my coworkers who witnessed how distressed I was from all that situation at home), but I think it will be hard to prove this kind of abuse - when you don't have marks on your body or police reports.☹️

 - 3rd option is to file jointly for now (after I moved out, our communication got much better and we don't appiear like ''enemies'' anymore) and send divorce decree to USCIS after I'll receive it?

 

 I would appreciate any advice! I don't have much time left and I don't have money for the attorney - I had to spend a lot on getting my own place to live, starting everything from scratch..

Thank you!

 

I'm posting from my phone so I'm going to keep this short. If you want or need more detailed info I can reply again .

 

You can send the waiver under divorce decree (alone) and not include the decree. They will RFE you for it later. You should have it by then. If not you will get an interview where they will ask for it. If you still dont have it you will get sent to court to present it.

 

If you want to file under abuse- you can file abuse+divorce or just abuse and no divorce. 

 

For abuse+divorce you will need the final decree. See above. For abuse you need police/medical records depending on the type of abuse you claim.

 

Physical abuse typically needs police reports restraining orders photos etc. Mental abuse needs your statement in detail, psych report and witness accounts. UsCIS does not accept audio or video.

 

This is all general info. If you want to explore it in more depth let me know. You can also use the search feature to find threads on this topic.  751 abuse waiver. ROC abuse.

 

Do not file jointly with an abusive ex spouse. Keep away from him for your safety. 

[Amadia 711]

OP,

I'm sorry that you had to endure this type of abuse. No person should have to face this monster but it happens and NOT reporting it allows it to fester and transition to other relationships. Good for you that you left and is getting divorced, stay away and keep safe!

 

Aside from that, do you have any document showing proof that you petitioned for divorce? You can try sending that paperwork in and upon receiving the RFE, you should have it by then...hopefully. You do not always need an attorney as long as you can follow the guidelines.

 

Positive vibes sent your way!

[Adelina28 3]

 Thank you so much for your replies! It helped a lot!

10 hours ago, Amadia said:

do you have any document showing proof that you petitioned for divorce?

Unfortunately, he filed for divorce first after I stated I want it. He was often threatening to ''deport'' me and he thought divorce would automatically result my deportation. Should I still send copies of his petition? It was signed by me and notarized before he's sent those papers (divorce by default). Or it will really hurt my case? (meaning that if he petitioned than I must be at fault 😣)

 Also, I'm really scared if USCIS will notify him somehow about my abuse waiver - before filing for divorce he said if he finds out about that he'll "destroy me"(c).

How soon do they usually send RFE? Wouldn't it make my case more complicated? 

 

11 hours ago, Damara said:

psych report

 I didn't go to psychologyst, even though I should've been. I went to a regular family doctor with some complaints for my anxiety/insomnia caused by "family problems". He prescribed some anti-depressants that I had to stop taking due to side effects. Should I try to get a report from him?

Edited August 21, 2018 by Adelina28

[Villanelle 4,122]

They wont notify him of you filing an abuse waiver. They wont notify him if you file a divorce waiver either,

 

An RFE doesnt make things that much more difficult. And its your only choice so you should be glad they offer a process for those who do not have a decree yet.

 

It doesnt matter who files the divorce. As long as there are no allegations of fraud against you.

 

Are you interested in filing for divorce alone or divorce/abuse or just abuse?

 

A regular family dr statement is not going to be enough to prove abuse to USCIS. They have very strict guidelines on what proves abuse. The statement about meds youve taken can help but you need a specific diagnosis for the meds and should still get a psych report.

[Adelina28 3]

On 8/21/2018 at 1:40 PM, Damara said:

And its your only choice so you should be glad they offer a process for those who do not have a decree yet.

 Oh, I'm glad about it! ☺️ I was just wondering what should I put in the field of "Date marriage has ended"? Just leave it blank for now?

 

Since I don't have enough of "official" proof of abuse - I'll just file with a Divorce Waiver with a cover letter in which I'll explain all the circumstances with some proof that I have. I've found a similar cover letter here on VJ and it seems like a good option to me. 

[Villanelle 4,122]

for date marriage ended you can enter 'pending divorce'. You may have to print it and enter it in ink as the online form may not accept anything but numbers.

 

I think you are making the right decision filing under divorce only. I certainly dont want to discourage anyone from filing under abuse if they desire to do so. There are advantages to filing under abuse. For instance you can naturalize at 3yrs instead of 5. If you are lacking bonafide proof due to the abuse they will take that into consideration etc. However you didnt mention any reason to need to file under abuse. 

 

Filing under divorce only is going to be easier.

 

You can bring up the abuse in divorce court if you wish. They dont have the same strict guidelines USCIS does. Also it doesnt matter who files the divorce or if there is allegations of abuse in the divorce but you dont file under abuse waiver. 

[Adelina28 3]

11 hours ago, Damara said:

However you didnt mention any reason to need to file under abuse. 

 What kind of reason it should be? I thought it would be just a right thing to do, since my marriage has ended because of abuse. It was my mistake though that I kept everything to myself and didn't actively seek help.

 

11 hours ago, Damara said:

You can bring up the abuse in divorce court if you wish.

 I'm not doing that because I honestly afraid of consequences (his threats) and also just want to get over with it and move on with my life.

[Villanelle 4,122]

Some victims of abuse need to file under the abuse waiver because they do not have much or any proof of bonafide marriage due to the abuse. An abusive spouse can often use money as a form of control and not allow the victim to have bank accounts, property in their name, access to documents etc. They may also be socially isolated and have no one to write an affidavit.

 

You didnt mention what evidence you have or are lacking so I assume you are good with bonafide marriage evidence.

 

Do you want some links to free/low cost therapy? It can really help you. Let me know what state/county you are in. You can PM if you dont want to post it publicly. 

 

You should also see a psych dr or nurse practitioner for different meds. Some do have awful side effects but if you keep trying them you will find one that works for you.

 

Also dont be afraid of your ex. There are strict domestic violence laws in the US. Were you given a pamphlet on IMBRA when you interviewed for the visa? It explains the protections for immigrants regarding DV.

 

You can always go obtain a restraining order if you are afraid.[

[Adelina28 3]

2 hours ago, Damara said:

 

You didnt mention what evidence you have or are lacking so I assume you are good with bonafide marriage evidence.

Oh, now I'm worried because I'm lacking some major financial evidence. We didn't own any property together, lived in his family's house (so no lease papers or bills 😣). He never wanted to help me financially 'cause he didn't make enough money and also wanted to make me be "financially independent" (including pushing me to work illegally when I haven't gotten my work authorization). We had just one joint account with about $300 each month we spent on food. And then we used this account to pay cars insurance bills (both cars were on his name, but I was driving one). I have a lot of communication evidence though, photos, letters and cards from his family members addressed to both of us, gym membership cards etc. And also I was one of the beneficiaries on his life insurance. Oh, and joint taxes for one year.

[Villanelle 4,122]

Can you get a letter from the parents stating you guys lived there and paid or didnt pay rent or bills? If there is an issue with you speaking to his parents DO NOT DO IT. Your safety is number one.

 

1 year of taxes is good. Were you only together 1 year? If so then 1 year is all there is so its good. 

 

Look through ROC threads and see if anything others mentioned including is something you might have or be able to get. You can also look through the VAWA threads as well as search for abuse waiver roc threads to get an idea of what the abuse waiver entails and if it would be better for you. 

[Adelina28 3]

17 hours ago, Damara said:

Can you get a letter from the parents stating you guys lived there and paid or didnt pay rent or bills? If there is an issue with you speaking to his parents DO NOT DO IT. Your safety is number one.

 

1 year of taxes is good. Were you only together 1 year? If so then 1 year is all there is so its good. 

 

Look through ROC threads and see if anything others mentioned including is something you might have or be able to get. You can also look through the VAWA threads as well as search for abuse waiver roc threads to get an idea of what the abuse waiver entails and if it would be better for you. 

Yes, I'm actually in a really good relationship with his mom. I'll ask her to do that. Should it be both parents?

 

We were married for a bit over than 2 years, but got separated right before filing 2nd taxes, that's why we filed separately.

Thank you, I'll search for those topics, it's not too many of them though.

 

Do you know what can happen if I'll end up filing divorce+abuse and USCIS would decide it's not enough evidence for abuse waiver - would they just deny my application? 😱

[Villanelle 4,122]

From just the mom is fine. Make sure she gets it notarized. 

 

It sounds like you are leaning towards the abuse waiver. Read through what you can find and post back any questions. Abuse can be physical or mental (extreme cruelty). .You need to prove mental abuse showing a pattern of isolation,degradation,humiliation, threat,control etc. You havent posted any specific details of what the abuse entailed so its impossible to evaluate if it qualifies. Theres a term USCIS uses- "unpleasant marriage". Thats what they call it when it doesnt qualify as abuse. 

 

This is a sample RFE for what they want-http://www.olender.pro/sites/default/files/Conditional Residence - Sample I-751 Request for Evidence.pdf

 

In this thread is a users rfe for bonafide and what they were looking for-

 

 

So first you need to evaluate if what occurred will qualify as a pattern. Then you need to gather and evaluate the proof you have. You will most likely need to attend 5-6 therapy sessions to get an evaluation. The quality of the evaluation will matter. Recently there was a gentlemen who was going through a divorce and the abuse waiver issue was discussed. On the surface he had everything needed for it. Medicine records, affidavit, psych eval. However his attny advised him he wouldnt be approved under abuse. I recommended he message the user Sandra on here his psych eval and see what she thinks.

 

She is a pro-bono attny that posts in the VAWA thread. She ended up agreeing that he wouldnt be approved. This was because his evaluation was too general. It needs to state specifics. So you need to make sure you go to someone who knows how to write immigration evaluations. 

 

Last I saw Sandra was on vacation overseas. I know you have a limited time left before you need to submit ROC so I dont know how long youd want to wait to see if she will review your situation and offer advice. You can contact local attnys and get free consults and see what they think.You can always post the details here and users will offer opinions. You can PM the details however I am not an attny nor a USCIS Officer.

 

If you apply under abuse+divorce and you get the multi page RFE asking to prove the abuse you can attempt to send a letter to the service center in response to the RFE asking (begging) to switch you to a divorce waiver only. They do not have to switch you but they can if they want. If they dont you will either be straight denied for not answering the RFE or given an interview where you can present additional evidence. If you are denied after that you will go to immigration court where you can either try to prove abuse to the judge or switch to a divorce waiver only 751. Youd basically have to file again.

[Adelina28 3]

23 hours ago, Damara said:

It sounds like you are leaning towards the abuse waiver

 I think I'd prefer just divorce waiver (esp. I don't have time for 5-6 therapy sessions😟), I'm just worried there's not enough of financial proof in my case and it seems what matters for them the most (even if you submit a ton of photos, letters and trips together).

 

 I'll PM you with some details if you don't mind. I'd prefer not to post it here because of safety reasons.

[Adelina28 3]

On 8/28/2018 at 1:32 AM, Damara said:

You can PM the details however I am not an attny nor a USCIS Officer.

 I tried, but it says "Damara cannot receive messages"