~ Javed is going to the embassy NOW!! ~

[Nasturtium 500]

Awww, man. People deal with things in different ways. Once, when I thought I was pregnant by accident, my husband freaked out and was so angry! he kept yelling that I was "not sticking to the plan" as if I did this all on my own! And he even asked me if I was cheating! But then he alternated this weird behavior with calling me every few hours and saying he just wished he could be by my side. I was just sad and devistated because the reason we had suspected it at all was I was so late and then entered a miscarriage-like state. He was such a rollercoaster of emotions when what I needed was a support. Right now you need a support and he's pulled away. Just keep at it. Eventually you'll get him to crack.

[babybunny 2]

lets see if I can display the 221g notice.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Wow, Shonnie! This is scary! I read the 221g and it leaves me wondering what indicates to them that your marriage is a fraud. Plus, on top of that, Javed withdraws. What a double blow, honey! OMG! I'm so, so sorry!

[amal 4]

Holy ####### Shonie!!!!!!! I'm so sorry to hear this!!!!!!!!! I wonder what happened that made them think they had to do this to you guys? I don't think any reason would be acceptable after the wait you all have been thru. If you need anything, let me know.

My guess is that he is just at his wits end and thats why he's been a bit on the cold side since the embassy. He probably needs his own time to recoup from this news and feel ok again.

Much luck to you two!

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Thats the same paper we got,

[Ban Hammer 13,364]

this blows

[Nagishkaw 510]

This is beyond comprehension. Shon, I believe Javed is just as crushed and perplexed and going through a bundle of emotions as you are. He does not want to show it to you, it is just a reaction so don't take his coldness seriously.

My prayers are with you both.

[Together4ever 1]

Shon, I want to say you and Javed are in my prayers tightly. I can only begin to imagine the toll this must be taking not only on you, but on Javed too. I know his coldness is hard to take right now when you need him the most emotionally, but I'm sure as others have said he's feeling very beaten down. Every person has a limit before they just have to shut down for awhile to regroup. Months back before Moh travelled, he went through a personal crisis situation in Egypt and he did the same thing to me. It was crushing. But you're a strong woman and you'll get through this. Please message anytime you need to vent or talk.

[Meriem_DZ 37]

This sux big time, Shon. I am so sorry this has happened after all you have gone through. Please dont give up. Show Javed that you still have hope. I think he feels he has no hope left and he has given up. Give him some time. I hope you can get this turned around.

Meriem

[Michaela_Hassan 1]

So sorry to hear this devastating news. You're in my prayers.

[maggieNomar 0]

He may just need to time to absorb it all. Give him some time while you sort out your own options. I'm sure he'll come around. I've heard of several SOs that started acting strange when things did not go according to plan. In the meantime, it sounds like you have the support of family and friends, including us! (charles: where is that big squishy hug smiley? I think Shon could use it!)

[Ban Hammer 13,364]

He may just need to time to absorb it all. Give him some time while you sort out your own options. I'm sure he'll come around. I've heard of several SOs that started acting strange when things did not go according to plan. In the meantime, it sounds like you have the support of family and friends, including us! (charles: where is that big squishy hug smiley? I think Shon could use it!)

this one?

[morocco4ever 63]

Ohhhhh my Goddddd Shonnie. I am just stunned to hear your news. I can't believe they could string you along for more than 2 years of hell just to do this. I don't even know what to say.

I know you feel just numb right now. But I also know that you are amazingly strong. Once you gather yourself after this awful blow, please turn to Kiya and Chiquita for their help. They know this drill frontways and backwards. They will have excellent advice on what to do next.

I am so very sorry this is happening to you. Thoughts and prayers with you and Javed.

-MK

I talked to Kiya today. I am now on Desert Rose. I think worse than the Revocation is javeds response to me. He is being cold and is blowing me off. dayum this is weird - I dont normally

post my feelings on VJ- not like this

You and Javed have been through alot, so it isn't surprising that he is withdrawing...its a man thing.

When my husband and I first got denied I contemplated divorcing him. Not because I didn't love him but because I did. I felt it was the kindest way to let him move on with his life. Then he told me that maybe we should split because he has caused this grief, and that I shouldn't have to live alone like this. But neither of us could walk away, and now that he is here I am so glad we didn't. Strange how we both were thinking about what would make the other happy, but the truth is that what we both needed to be happy was each other.

Give him a little space, he'll come around. Don't give up the fight.

[Together4ever 1]

Ohhhhh my Goddddd Shonnie. I am just stunned to hear your news. I can't believe they could string you along for more than 2 years of hell just to do this. I don't even know what to say.

I know you feel just numb right now. But I also know that you are amazingly strong. Once you gather yourself after this awful blow, please turn to Kiya and Chiquita for their help. They know this drill frontways and backwards. They will have excellent advice on what to do next.

I am so very sorry this is happening to you. Thoughts and prayers with you and Javed.

-MK

I talked to Kiya today. I am now on Desert Rose. I think worse than the Revocation is javeds response to me. He is being cold and is blowing me off. dayum this is weird - I dont normally

post my feelings on VJ- not like this

You and Javed have been through alot, so it isn't surprising that he is withdrawing...its a man thing.

When my husband and I first got denied I contemplated divorcing him. Not because I didn't love him but because I did. I felt it was the kindest way to let him move on with his life. Then he told me that maybe we should split because he has caused this grief, and that I shouldn't have to live alone like this. But neither of us could walk away, and now that he is here I am so glad we didn't. Strange how we both were thinking about what would make the other happy, but the truth is that what we both needed to be happy was each other.

Give him a little space, he'll come around. Don't give up the fight.

Even though we didn't face a denial, we did face a loooooooooooong AP/AR and we too had this "parting of the ways" discussion at one time when we both felt like nothing would ever come of his visa. Didn't happen. We hung in there because truth was we didn't want to be apart. I think a lot of this is normal considering the immense pressures people going through this process face. We are all here for you Shon.

[JODO 2]

Maybe your husband needs a little space right now. Likely he feels responsible for the denial, and nobody likes rejection. Just let him have his moment,but continue to be there for him.

Good Luck with everything!