Same sex K1 requests in nonaccepting countries

[ddtenor2 80]

2 hours ago, p-ana said:

Just FYI since 2013 by law gay couples can get married anywhere in Brazil 

Thanks for the update.  We met in 2011, and I never bothered checking to see if the law had changed after that.

[Wallhut 34]

My fiance from Ghana recently arrived in the U.S. and we were married. You can't get any less gay-friendly than Ghana. As others have said, the people your fiance will deal with are U.S. citizens. We did not have any problem and the man who interviewed my fiance at the Accra consulate was very nice and respectful. Good luck! 

[Love To Teach 161]

20 hours ago, Rusty72 said:

You'll be dealing with the American government. So cannot see too much issue. Unless they physically detain him.

 

Not to scare you, but you had better be prepared. First of all, even though you are "dealing with the American government," that embassy hires local Pakistani people (male and female) to harass and intimidate interviewees. If he is led into a small room, tell him he'd better be prepared to be berated, harassed, and everything except beaten with a billy club. If they gave my husband the business because I have been divorced 4 times and he collapsed, I can't imagine what that man will scream at your boyfriend. They are operating 500 years behind our culture. They screamed Islamic prayers in my husband's face (one that he said was the ultimate "holy" prayer, which was the biggest insult they could use), lied about his divorce, everything you can think of. I wish my husband had been expecting that so he could have not gone into shock. So my advice is to go with him, go in if you can, and encourage him to just keep telling the truth over and over and NOT sign anything. I just talked to another fella here on VJ from Pakistan. They did the same thing to him and his 2 brothers. His mom had waited years to bring him and his 2 brothers over. There were 4 brothers, one was married and was not going to US. The other 3 were not married and wanting a visa. The Pakistani CO took each one in to the "terror room" and screamed and harassed and confused them. When asked if any of them were married, one brother said yes, meaning the one who wasn't coming. Another brother said no, meaning the three who were being petitioned. Somebody ended up signing something, thinking they were understanding, but that ended their visa journey. I am so fed up with the embassy I could scream. I advise anyone who is treated like that file a formal complaint. It may not help us, but maybe it would help another person. They are treating beneficiaries like criminals, and that is wrong in every way. Like I tell my students, if you remain a bystander (who does nothing when somebody else is bulled), you are part of the problem. I wish you luck....just be prepared for the interview and don't listen to their threats. We just sent in our second application for his visa. We will NOT give up!

[FernandLevi 36]

22 hours ago, Pakyman said:

I am new to your forum and have a general question.  Has anyone here had any experiences with K1 visa requests in countries that condone gay marriage?  I met someone from Pakistan, and our plan is for him to move to the US and become my husband.  I would like to hear from others about their experiences and/or advice.

Paky,

 

  In your K1 package for your letter of intent make sure you specific your intent to marry in a specific state that allows same sex marriage. You must specific your intent in a state that allows it or you LL get a RFE. The forms online here don't do it just add on.. 'in the state of California which recognizes homosexual marriages.'

 

Just a heads up.

[p-ana 933]

8 minutes ago, FernandLevi said:

Paky,

 

  In your K1 package for your letter of intent make sure you specific your intent to marry in a specific state that allows same sex marriage. You must specific your intent in a state that allows it or you LL get a RFE. The forms online here don't do it just add on.. 'in the state of California which recognizes homosexual marriages.'

 

Just a heads up.

There’s no need for that since gay marriage is legal in the US, everywhere in the US

[TM92 527]

39 minutes ago, FernandLevi said:

In your K1 package for your letter of intent make sure you specific your intent to marry in a specific state that allows same sex marriage. You must specific your intent in a state that allows it or you LL get a RFE. The forms online here don't do it just add on.. 'in the state of California which recognizes homosexual marriages.'

No need; read Obergefell v. Hodges, 576 U.S. ___ (2015):

Quote

Held: The Fourteenth Amendment requires a State to license a marriage between two people of the same sex and to recognize a marriage between two people of the same sex when their marriage was lawfully licensed and performed out-of-State. Pp. 3–28.

Edited August 5, 2018 by TM92

[Loren Y 2,755]

2 hours ago, Love To Teach said:

Not to scare you, but you had better be prepared. First of all, even though you are "dealing with the American government," that embassy hires local Pakistani people (male and female) to harass and intimidate interviewees. If he is led into a small room, tell him he'd better be prepared to be berated, harassed, and everything except beaten with a billy club. If they gave my husband the business because I have been divorced 4 times and he collapsed, I can't imagine what that man will scream at your boyfriend. They are operating 500 years behind our culture. They screamed Islamic prayers in my husband's face (one that he said was the ultimate "holy" prayer, which was the biggest insult they could use), lied about his divorce, everything you can think of. I wish my husband had been expecting that so he could have not gone into shock. So my advice is to go with him, go in if you can, and encourage him to just keep telling the truth over and over and NOT sign anything. I just talked to another fella here on VJ from Pakistan. They did the same thing to him and his 2 brothers. His mom had waited years to bring him and his 2 brothers over. There were 4 brothers, one was married and was not going to US. The other 3 were not married and wanting a visa. The Pakistani CO took each one in to the "terror room" and screamed and harassed and confused them. When asked if any of them were married, one brother said yes, meaning the one who wasn't coming. Another brother said no, meaning the three who were being petitioned. Somebody ended up signing something, thinking they were understanding, but that ended their visa journey. I am so fed up with the embassy I could scream. I advise anyone who is treated like that file a formal complaint. It may not help us, but maybe it would help another person. They are treating beneficiaries like criminals, and that is wrong in every way. Like I tell my students, if you remain a bystander (who does nothing when somebody else is bulled), you are part of the problem. I wish you luck....just be prepared for the interview and don't listen to their threats. We just sent in our second application for his visa. We will NOT give up!

You are saying this happened inside a US Embassy abroad? Inside the embassy is this so called " Terror Room" , that would be technically  on US soil if it is in the embassy. Seems a little far fetched to me, but my old marine friend is finishing out his twenty at the Pakistan embassy, so if that is the case I will send him an email and ask him to call me( from his own phone just to be safe). I am not saying the US government is a nice group of people, I have seen some serious things done by them in my life, but to allow this to go on inside an embassy where officials, and other emissaries are passing thru on a regular basis seems a little far fetched to me, but anything is possible.

Edited August 6, 2018 by Loren Y

[Boiler 45,541]

Her case is slightly unusual, there are however plenty of people going through that Consulate who have posted their experiences.

[Love To Teach 161]

38 minutes ago, Loren Y said:

You are saying this happened inside a US Embassy abroad? Inside the embassy is this so called " Terror Room" , that would be technically  on US soil if it is in the embassy. Seems a little far fetched to me, but my old marine friend is finishing out his twenty at the Pakistan embassy, so if that is the case I will send him an email and ask him to call me( from his own phone just to be safe). I am not saying the US government is a nice group of people, I have seen some serious things done by them in my life, but to allow this to go on inside an embassy where officials, and other emissaries are passing thru on a regular basis seems a little far fetched to me, but anything is possible.

Yes, it happened. Read my story. Read Freda's story. If they take you into a room and close the door, you are in trouble. It happens all the time. It's just not right! One guy was even threatened with hanging. And the interesting thing is that interviews are not recorded. Where else do you know that someone in an important interview would NOT be recorded? Because there are NO witnesses. People have had their papers thrown in their faces. The first thing they said to my husband was, "We know how to deal with PEOPLE LIKE YOU." The Pakistani guy told my husband he would never see America. My hubby took this as a threat. My husband said this man had absolute hatred in his voice about America. Why do you think they close them up in a room? Again, no witnesses. My husband is an educated, well-respected businessman in Islamabad. He was expecting a civil interview. Instead, he was basically tortured. Ever since, my husband has suffered high blood pressure, diarrea, stomach problems, headaches, and sleep issues. He has testimony from his doctor that this experience happened. He immediately told his doctor and his kids. The interesting thing is that after that, my husband was actually asked by the Pakistani government to take a bunch of new hires at the embassy around Pakistan to inform them about tourism. He is very well respected, refuses to take bribes or give them (and if you know anything about Pakistan, that's huge), is educated, is a very quiet and well brought up man. Thank God, my husband was offered a job doing customer service management at one of the Marriott's in Dubai. I'm glad he's out of there, although two of his kids are still there. There's no reason for him to lie. Who would make this stuff up? He felt the only way to get out of that room was to write what the Pakistani man told him to write, that he was still married to his first wife. He kept protesting that he was divorced, but felt he had no choice. We just filed a new IR-1. I know we have a target on our backs,  but we feel we need to stand up for what is right. If we don't, who will? We have accepted the fact that we may be a long-distance marriage forever. We just trust God's plan...that's all we can do. BTW, my husband's ex-wife and his kids (all over 16) have gone before a judge twice (once again for our new IR-1) to testify that yes, they have been divorced for 8 years, and separated for 2 years before that...at her request. After our rebuttal, USCIS said, too bad, his coerced false statement overrides the truth. It's just tragic because I've never known him to lie in his life.

Edited August 6, 2018 by Love To Teach

[Loren Y 2,755]

Sorry to hear that, can't believe this would happen at a embassy, but anything's possible. Can he possibly get a job in a different country and interview at a different embassy? I would be looking for a way to interview at a embassy in a different country.

[Love To Teach 161]

Yes, he had already had his application in for jobs in other countries at the Marriott for some time, where he has a friend who recommended him. He's been a tour director/owner for over 25 years, so he knows people everywhere. He was offered a customer service management job in Dubai and is enjoying it. But this other guy who lived there and is from Pak said that he has to interview in Islamabad. Believe it or not, my hubby actually wants to interview there, mainly because his lawyer and I can go with him. In Dubai, nobody can. I guess we will find out. BUT the first big hurdle is getting our paperwork approved. We have gotten to the point where we just have to give it to God. It's already really negatively affected the health of both of us. And he's 52, and I'm 67, so we don't have forever. I really can't move overseas for several reasons. I have to take lots of different meds, plus I have a hole in my ear canal that has to be worked on about every 3 months...and it's a delicate thing. I don't want to give up Medicare when I retire. I am still working because i need the money for house repairs and we spend a ton on my traveling, etc. I also have a brother with severe MD that I don't want to leave, and a large elderly dog that can't travel. So we will just keep at it and keep praying for the next several years. I plan to work for 3 more years. I pray our health holds up. So if we are still in this position when I retire, I will probably spend months there and come back and forth. We have learned to not make plans and just live a day at a time...and pray.

[Love To Teach 161]

51 minutes ago, Love To Teach said:

Yes, he had already had his application in for jobs in other countries at the Marriott for some time, where he has a friend who recommended him. He's been a tour director/owner for over 25 years, so he knows people everywhere. He was offered a customer service management job in Dubai and is enjoying it. But this other guy who lived there and is from Pak said that he has to interview in Islamabad. Believe it or not, my hubby actually wants to interview there, mainly because his lawyer and I can go with him. In Dubai, nobody can. I guess we will find out. BUT the first big hurdle is getting our paperwork approved. We have gotten to the point where we just have to give it to God. It's already really negatively affected the health of both of us. And he's 52, and I'm 67, so we don't have forever. I really can't move overseas for several reasons. I have to take lots of different meds, plus I have a hole in my ear canal that has to be worked on about every 3 months...and it's a delicate thing. I don't want to give up Medicare when I retire. I am still working because i need the money for house repairs and we spend a ton on my traveling, etc. I also have a brother with severe MD that I don't want to leave, and a large elderly dog that can't travel. So we will just keep at it and keep praying for the next several years. I plan to work for 3 more years. I pray our health holds up. So if we are still in this position when I retire, I will probably spend months there and come back and forth. We have learned to not make plans and just live a day at a time...and pray.

Sorry, meant to say the guy said that my husband has to interview in Dubai since he is working and living there. So who knows? One day at a time...

[Pakyman 9]

3 hours ago, Loren Y said:

You are saying this happened inside a US Embassy abroad? Inside the embassy is this so called " Terror Room" , that would be technically  on US soil if it is in the embassy. Seems a little far fetched to me, but my old marine friend is finishing out his twenty at the Pakistan embassy, so if that is the case I will send him an email and ask him to call me( from his own phone just to be safe). I am not saying the US government is a nice group of people, I have seen some serious things done by them in my life, but to allow this to go on inside an embassy where officials, and other emissaries are passing thru on a regular basis seems a little far fetched to me, but anything is possible.

I hope to be there in person with my fiance... if this happens, I will certainly let you know. Thanks!

[Ahmed&Freda 628]

10 hours ago, Pakyman said:

I hope to be there in person with my fiance... if this happens, I will certainly let you know. Thanks!

It's really hard to tell what is going to happen in a case...sometimes trying to figure it all out can drive us insane.  You may be OK considering they give those a hard time that they fear could have or will commit fraud.  In our case my husband being divorced (and divorced being rare but popular in a fraud case) caused them to scrutinize our marriage.   Me being there did not make it easier.  In your situation though I find it a little far fetched that a Pakistani man would choose to commit fraud in a same sex marriage.   It would make sense to marry abroad since its not open to him in his own country.  

 

Try not to stress about it and just do your best to show your relationship as genuine, be honest and try to relax. Only God knows the outcome!

 

Good luck to you!

[Pakyman 9]

1 hour ago, Ahmed&Freda said:

It's really hard to tell what is going to happen in a case...sometimes trying to figure it all out can drive us insane.  You may be OK considering they give those a hard time that they fear could have or will commit fraud.  In our case my husband being divorced (and divorced being rare but popular in a fraud case) caused them to scrutinize our marriage.   Me being there did not make it easier.  In your situation though I find it a little far fetched that a Pakistani man would choose to commit fraud in a same sex marriage.   It would make sense to marry abroad since its not open to him in his own country.  

 

Try not to stress about it and just do your best to show your relationship as genuine, be honest and try to relax. Only God knows the outcome!

 

Good luck to you!

Wow... thank you for the wonderful encouragement.  I agree with you... why would anyone want to choose this route of marriage and try to be fraudulent too.  In sharing all this with my fiance, he is now scared to have me join him in Islamabad.  At first, I thought it couldn't hurt anything... it would allow them to see more than what is visualized on paper.  But he feels if he is detained, I could be in danger being by myself in a strange city.  So I still plan to go hopefully in time for his presumed January interview, but will stay behind visiting his family and hope for the best.  Just pray for us.  

 

P.S. Thank you everyone for all your input. I am so glad to have asked my question.  You have made us feel very welcomed here in the VJ group.