Looking for advice

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

57 minutes ago, Jaquelly said:

 

How are you going to start building a house when you are 30k in debt and cannot afford to live outside of your means currently. This sounds like a real bad idea.

We need our own house. It will be a simple, all metal house, a friend will build it. Once it's built, we'll take out a mortgage, pay off the credit cards & leisurely pay the mortgage off. We'll build it on credit. We have about $35k credit still available. The house, once built, with the land , will be worth $150k+

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

1 hour ago, Jaquelly said:

 

That's great and all, but it's not enough money for your family.

 

Your husband can go take his GED course if that's what he needs to do to get an entry level IT helpdesk job at a company in town. I am familiar with where you live, as I live in DFW myself. 

 

I suppose, after reading everything, my question is this: What do you WANT people to say? We are all trying to help you, but you're in a lot of debt and the only way out of that debt is to work really hard at it. It's going to suck, your MIL needs to make some sacrifices, your husband needs to help with the kids 100% of the time when he is not working. You guys are a team. You gotta figure it out.

He won't take an entry level job nor does he need a GED. IF he were to get a job, he could get one for $60k+ annually, based on his skills. He does not want the long commute. He'd need a new car.

He'd rather concentrate on running HIS business much more aggressively, more advertisement, actual office place, getting referrals ect. If he does that seriously, he'll make more in a few years than he would make in DFW as an employee. He has a computer security background. I'm not just saying that he's excellent in his field. He really is.

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

1 hour ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

So why doesn't he commute to Fort Worth for a CS job, or why don't y'all move there?

 

If your MIL doesn't want to look after the kids then get the hell out of the house and stop supporting her. It takes a family to raise those kids trust me I have 4 myself that are 11, 9, 4, and 1. If I lived with my mother and helping her keep the house then I would expect her to watch the kids while I worked. 

This 100% !!!! You're so RIGHT.

We'll start building our house in a few months and God willing, be out of here within 8 months. I had enough, I lived here 4 years, she (MIL) does help with the kids when she's here but there are constant arguments about me not doing enough housework etc. because they "work" (they do but it's far from 9-5). Well, I watch kids all day, manage finances (could do better LOL), all administrative ####### like insurance, kids' Medicaid, tax filing, school-related BS, ect.

I feel like they should pull their weight, too when it comes to keeping house because they're adults & they live here, too. It's fair to expect me to do the lion's share but not to do it 100% IMHO. We have a schedule about who cooks & does dishes, but hubby always conveniently forgets dishes when he cooks (whoever cooks that day also does the dishes).

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

38 minutes ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

Also the hubby is really only working a part time job right now making $800 a month really after expenses. Sorry but someone needs to step up and get more jobs, you need to get a Driver's License and a job. He needs to get a better job making more than that. Does he have any type of Certs at all, how old is he? 

 

You have been here how long now and still don't know how to drive? I taught my wife the first year she came to the USA and it's not hard at all. 

With the driving, I was pregnant 3x in those 7 years I've lived here, it was just always something I put off. Also, I know it's completely stupid, but I tried to take the test to get a learner's permit once and failed (the computer did not record some of the answers but even if it did I'm not sure I would have passed. I'm not good with tests.

That said, believe me it's high on my priority list.

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

58 minutes ago, yuna628 said:

So... you live in your MIL's house, pay her mortgage, and she won't help you in any way by watching the kids or contributing? Something has to give you know and your husband needs to back you up on this.

 

That is indeed a considerable amount of CC debt, and it needs to be paid down. You know what would go a long way to help paying that down? The land you have and you should consider selling that. Your husband was homeschooled and it sounds like he has a lot of self taught knowledge (which is very common in HSers), without a diploma though he's going to be left behind by some employers. My suggestion is to invest the effort in obtaining a GED at a community college. I also was part of the HSing community, but I do have a diploma. Even with a diploma some HSers can be left behind. As he's self-employed what do you do about health insurance costs? It's quite obvious that he may need to find something else more stable for work and that you need to also find employment too. Likely you'll be starting out small.

She watches the kids a lot (when she's here anyway) & contributes house chores & grocery money as well as electric, water & home insurance, she makes 500-800 a month (in addition to her Social Security).

She for some reason thinks that she should not have to accomodate me working. As in, she won't rearrange her schedule in order for me to work (even part time).

Health insurance is great. We have BCBS through the Marketplace. After tax subsidy, we only pay $25/month for both of us. for a no deductible Silver HMO plan. We claim MIL on our taxes starting when we file next so she has her own plan for $30/month after tax subsidies.

He does do some 1099 stuff for a local marketing company, he started that last year. Their projects drag on for months. So one month he might make $700, the next $2000.

59 minutes ago, JFH said:

Working from home doesn't have to involve the phone. Amazon, for example, uses home-based workers for their online chat operators or email handlers. You may have noticed this feature on many websites. You look at a product and a window pops up with a "hi can I help you?" message. Amazon uses chat operators for post-sale questions. I once chatted with one regarding an item that didn't arrive. 

This is a great idea, I'll google it!

 

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

1 hour ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

link to the reddit thread?

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/935o5b/help_please_drowning_in_cc_debt/

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

47 minutes ago, doggieandsam said:

i agree, there are lots of online jobs that do not need you to use the phone. since you are hungarian, there maybe some niche but highly lucrative gigs out there translating english to hungarian and vice versa.

 

check out: upwork.com and fiverr.com

My brain just doesn't compute translation. It's highly specified, people go to college for it. I tried to test on one of those websites & I failed!

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

8 minutes ago, EM_Vandaveer said:

With the driving, I was pregnant 3x in those 7 years I've lived here, it was just always something I put off. Also, I know it's completely stupid, but I tried to take the test to get a learner's permit once and failed (the computer did not record some of the answers but even if it did I'm not sure I would have passed. I'm not good with tests.

That said, believe me it's high on my priority list.

So you took the Learner's Permit test and failed, and that's why you haven't gone back? My wife failed the tes 3 times before she was given a Learner's Permit and another 2 times getting her license. She was pregnant as well when I was teaching her how to drive and when she was driving on her own we had a newborn baby. She then went on to fail the driving test once because she is too cautious a driver.

 

Obviously getting a DL is not high on your priority list if you have been almost 7 years without a DL. I can see maybe NYC or where I lived in CA because everything is right there and you can take a bus if need be. But you live in TX and need one to get around. What are you going to do if there is an emergency and you need to go somewhere or take the children somewhere?? 

 

 

4 minutes ago, EM_Vandaveer said:

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/935o5b/help_please_drowning_in_cc_debt/

I found it and I responded to it today. 

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

23 minutes ago, EM_Vandaveer said:

He won't take an entry level job nor does he need a GED. IF he were to get a job, he could get one for $60k+ annually, based on his skills. He does not want the long commute. He'd need a new car.

He'd rather concentrate on running HIS business much more aggressively, more advertisement, actual office place, getting referrals ect. If he does that seriously, he'll make more in a few years than he would make in DFW as an employee. He has a computer security background. I'm not just saying that he's excellent in his field. He really is.

Ok I see all this and it can be done. But you need something NOW not 5 years from NOW. Yeah he could do and I am all for following one's dreams. But if ain't making the bacon or bringing in money and you aren't working then something has to give. I would say give it a couple more months and if stuff hasn't started picking up for him then he needs to pack it in. I had to take a downgrade to move cross country to NC from CA to be closer to the rest of our family and for a lower COL. But I have now after working for 6 months here got promoted back up to my old pay level in CA. So I am well aware of the sacrifices involved in doing this.  

 

What is he exactly doing right now? You mentioned fixing computers and now computer security. I am working in Information Security right now and making good enough money for my wife to stay home with the kids. So I know what I am talking about here. A lot of InfoSec people I know work a 9-5 and have a side hustle as well to bring in more money. But the people that do that actually work in the industry right now and have worked at a company to get their name out there and reputation built up. That  way it makes it a hell of a lot easier to go out and be a IC to different companies pulling in the money. 

[Unlockable 7,314]

I read the post over while mentally crunching numbers.

 

I say, find second/third jobs to help lessen the financial load. I would not refinance and here is why. You only have 5 years left on the mortgage. If you can make the next 5 years, you will have $1,100 of your monthly expenses freed up. This can go directly towards debt. But the biggest reason is that you have a roof over your heads. Defaulting on your CC's will likely not get you kicked out of the house, but defaulting on a mortgage can (foreclosure). Refinancing will only extend the time you have to own your property outright. 

 

Filing bankruptcy is an option. It can give you the option to negotiate lowering the amount you owe on your CC's. But most importantly, it will protect your assets. Yes your credit will be jacked up for a few years, but you will have a home, which buying a house is  honestly one of the main reasons people want good credit anyways. No need to worry about a car. You can buy one from those "buy here, pay here" places. Remember, you will have $1,100 freed up to go towards a better car.

 

Other options:

• Sell the lot to pay off mortgage early. This way you can work on paying down the CC debt and still have a home that nobody can take from you.
• Sell the lot to pay down CC debt.
• Call up the CC companies to see if they can give you a hiatus (grace period) of a few months of payments. This will give you some breathing room to get back on your feet. Downside is that there is no guarantee they will offer it to you and it is really a very short term fix.

I personally witnessed an ex girlfriend  lose a house that was willed to her and her sister over debt. The house was completely paid for but her sister was taking out home equity loans and using the house as collateral. She took out so many loans that she couldn't pay it. My ex didn't even know what was going on until she read the letter from the bank telling them they had to leave the property. It was the biggest mistake she ever made because both my ex and her sister had children at the time and they all was sharing the house together.  This is why I am a huge advocate to keeping your property.

[yuna628 9,667]

I failed the learners permit test the first time, a lot of people do, no biggie, just keep trying it.

 

From a personal standpoint (and I have a husband in the tech field and this state is very tech job based) it would be very hard for someone to obtain a high paying tech job without a diploma or degree or something to show for it. If he cannot make whatever he's currently doing work, then he's going to have to swallow some pride and try something else. It is possible for someone with the skills, experience, and a degree to get a high IT job without some of those more annoying certifications - but if your husband has none of this, even with self taught experience, I'm sorry but I'm skeptical of his prospects on this. Sacrifices have to be made somewhere.

 

Your MIL is your MIL, there has to be some boundaries, and if she cannot look after the kids when it's very possible for her to in order for you to work (and ultimately for the family to survive), then it seems to me this is all part of a method of gaining control. Your husband needs to back you up and put a foot down onto the arguments. You have the ability to work and she does not control your decisions. I do not, in your current situation see anything viable working out with building on the empty property. It's better you sell it to get yourselves to a better place, but it's your decision.

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

1 hour ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

Ok I see all this and it can be done. But you need something NOW not 5 years from NOW. Yeah he could do and I am all for following one's dreams. But if ain't making the bacon or bringing in money and you aren't working then something has to give. I would say give it a couple more months and if stuff hasn't started picking up for him then he needs to pack it in. I had to take a downgrade to move cross country to NC from CA to be closer to the rest of our family and for a lower COL. But I have now after working for 6 months here got promoted back up to my old pay level in CA. So I am well aware of the sacrifices involved in doing this.  

 

What is he exactly doing right now? You mentioned fixing computers and now computer security. I am working in Information Security right now and making good enough money for my wife to stay home with the kids. So I know what I am talking about here. A lot of InfoSec people I know work a 9-5 and have a side hustle as well to bring in more money. But the people that do that actually work in the industry right now and have worked at a company to get their name out there and reputation built up. That  way it makes it a hell of a lot easier to go out and be a IC to different companies pulling in the money. 

So he has infosec background but currently not working in infosec. He does computer &TV repair, programming websites as a contractor, sets up phone systems & installs security systems for his clients. He also does website design.

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

6 minutes ago, yuna628 said:

I failed the learners permit test the first time, a lot of people do, no biggie, just keep trying it.

 

From a personal standpoint (and I have a husband in the tech field and this state is very tech job based) it would be very hard for someone to obtain a high paying tech job without a diploma or degree or something to show for it. If he cannot make whatever he's currently doing work, then he's going to have to swallow some pride and try something else. It is possible for someone with the skills, experience, and a degree to get a high IT job without some of those more annoying certifications - but if your husband has none of this, even with self taught experience, I'm sorry but I'm skeptical of his prospects on this. Sacrifices have to be made somewhere.

 

Your MIL is your MIL, there has to be some boundaries, and if she cannot look after the kids when it's very possible for her to in order for you to work (and ultimately for the family to survive), then it seems to me this is all part of a method of gaining control. Your husband needs to back you up and put a foot down onto the arguments. You have the ability to work and she does not control your decisions. I do not, in your current situation see anything viable working out with building on the empty property. It's better you sell it to get yourselves to a better place, but it's your decision.

He had a high level CISCO sysadmin cert he just did not renew it. He definitely could re-certify. I KNOW he could get a GOOD job (if it was skill based interview not the HR person glancing at his CV and seeing "HS finished in homeschool" & throwing it in the trashcan).

He programmed a complicated system for a gas & oil company once as a contractor that was a software used to monitor flow in the pipes. He's well above average IQ.

 

You're right about MIL, she is being controlling for no good reason. We may just move out ASAP (6-8 months, ideally). Hubby agreed to take me to an ALDI hiring event soon. MIL will just have to deal, she won't have a choice. 

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

7 minutes ago, EM_Vandaveer said:

So he has infosec background but currently not working in infosec. He does computer &TV repair, programming websites as a contractor, sets up phone systems & installs security systems for his clients. He also does website design.

Edited if after seeing the other post. 

 

I am not into Graphic Design but I am doing or have done all this as well. I am in Compliance right now so I don't really script or program but I go through it to make sure it's correct. 

Edited August 2, 2018 by Cyberfx1024

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

46 minutes ago, NuestraUnion said:

I read the post over while mentally crunching numbers.

 

I say, find second/third jobs to help lessen the financial load. I would not refinance and here is why. You only have 5 years left on the mortgage. If you can make the next 5 years, you will have $1,100 of your monthly expenses freed up. This can go directly towards debt. But the biggest reason is that you have a roof over your heads. Defaulting on your CC's will likely not get you kicked out of the house, but defaulting on a mortgage can (foreclosure). Refinancing will only extend the time you have to own your property outright. 

 

Filing bankruptcy is an option. It can give you the option to negotiate lowering the amount you owe on your CC's. But most importantly, it will protect your assets. Yes your credit will be jacked up for a few years, but you will have a home, which buying a house is  honestly one of the main reasons people want good credit anyways. No need to worry about a car. You can buy one from those "buy here, pay here" places. Remember, you will have $1,100 freed up to go towards a better car.

 

Other options:

• Sell the lot to pay off mortgage early. This way you can work on paying down the CC debt and still have a home that nobody can take from you.
• Sell the lot to pay down CC debt.
• Call up the CC companies to see if they can give you a hiatus (grace period) of a few months of payments. This will give you some breathing room to get back on your feet. Downside is that there is no guarantee they will offer it to you and it is really a very short term fix.

I personally witnessed an ex girlfriend  lose a house that was willed to her and her sister over debt. The house was completely paid for but her sister was taking out home equity loans and using the house as collateral. She took out so many loans that she couldn't pay it. My ex didn't even know what was going on until she read the letter from the bank telling them they had to leave the property. It was the biggest mistake she ever made because both my ex and her sister had children at the time and they all was sharing the house together.  This is why I am a huge advocate to keeping your property.

bankruptcy is NOT an option. we get gas checks (royalties) every month. Roughly 2k. We'd lose that (extremely valuable) PLUS our land as well as destroy our credit.

Just now, Cyberfx1024 said:

I have asked to see if he has any Certifications and you haven't responded back. Just like @yuna628 said he needs to crank out a couple certs to even be remotely looked at if he isn't in the industry. 

Sorry. He had a CISCO sysadmin cert (one of the higher ones) but let it lapse.