How to plan paternity leave with my US fiancee?

[Unidentified 2,930]

14 hours ago, lucky_guy said:

Dear Visa Journey,

 

Thanks for your help figuring out that I don't need a special visa to get married in the US, so long as I plan to return to Canada. But we are now thinking ahead to a baby we are planning next year. We are getting married in the US in May 2019, and hoping to try for a baby arriving around the end of 2019. She wants to have the baby in the US before we both move to Canada later.

 

I have a generous paternity leave policy at my workplace that allows me to take leave for about a year. I want to take advantage of that policy, but it is longer than the time that I would be allowed to stay in the US under a tourist visa. However, I intend to return to my Canadian job at the end of my leave and would receive paid time off for the first few months of that.

 

The K-1 doesn't really seem made for this situation. I need a visa that allows me to visit for about 12 months while employed in Canada and receiving benefits as a Canadian -- like some kind of extended visit visa. But I don't need to be on a track for citizenship. What's more important is, because we can't be sure exactly when she'll deliver, I'm hoping there is something that offers flexibility as to when I would arrive to take up the visa.

 

Does anyone here know if such a visa exists for a long 12-month visit for new parents? Thanks in advance for any help you can offer.

 

Sincerely,

A Lucky Guy

America is the most dangerous developed country for women to give birth in... I'd pick Canada. 

[JFH 12,190]

8 hours ago, lucky_guy said:

That is a great suggestion about the TN - her university might sponsor me - and I'm also circling back to the K-1. Once it graduates to the CR-1, it seems like I can come and go as needed for a period of a couple of years. So long as I leave before it expires, it seems like all would revert to normal for me afterwards (notwithstanding needing to reinstate benefits / tax residency in Canada), or I could opt to pursue permanent residency if it made sense at that time. Anyway, thanks for the suggestions, all.

Clearly some more research is required on your part. The K-1 does not morph into a CR-1. You apply for one or the other based strictly on whether you are married or not. You don't get to pick one (well, you kind of do because you pick whether you immigrate as a fiancé or a spouse but that is the only choice you make in this game. The US government holds all the remaining cards and calls all the shots). Both visas are for residency in the USA. They are not glorified tourist visas, not "come and go as you please" visas. Upon receipt of, and entry into the USA with one of these visas, your life in Canada is over. Period. You may return to visit as often as you want/can afford - the USA is not holding you prisoner. But the United States is then your residence. If you don't want to be a resident here, fair enough, remain in Canada and enjoy your visa-free visiting privileges. 

 

You do not "choose residency" with an immigrant visa. That's part of the deal already. You become a resident with a CR-1 visa the minute you present your passport and said visa to the CBP officer at the border. Game over then for Canada. 

 

Leaving our home countries and the various various benefits associated with being a resident thereof is something we all face. I have epilepsy and come from the U.K. I had to leave the security of the NHS (state-funded healthcare with no deductibles or co-pays) and see a large chunk of my pay check now being taken up by private healthcare. But that's the price (quite literally!) I've had to pay to be able to live permantly with my husband. We were in a long-distance marriage for 2 years. If I wanted to keep my UK lifestyle we would have to remain in a long-distance marriage. Not what we wanted at all! So something has to give. 

 

As I said, this is a complex game that involves complex decisions. There are sacrifices to be made, family members to be left behind, less-than-ideal situations to be accepted. But those who have done it would all agree its worth it in the end. 

 

Maybe you're not yet ready to cut the cord with Canada. I find it quite surprising that you are planning to marry someone and bring a child into the world here but still want to "come and go as you please" and "maybe choose residency later". Your child deserves more commitment than that. This is real life right here. 

Edited July 29, 2018 by JFH

[debbiedoo 2,339]

wait to have the baby until you are both where you will be PERMANENTLY together.

 

as others have said, there is no visa fr what you want to do, and there shouldnt be! Either you move here and forego the amazing canadian benefits or she moves there (which if i were younger and had no kids, or even if i was planning on having more kids, is what i would choose, personally). it is NOT fair for the kid for you to come and go as you wish! that is not how any of this works.

[CEE53147 559]

Universities cannot just "create" positions for your convenience.  They also have very strict EEOC requirements. You do NOT understand what you are expecting to happen is unlikely.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

8 hours ago, Unidentified said:

America is the most dangerous developed country for women to give birth in... I'd pick Canada. 

 

As we've discussed in the past, there are reasons for this beyond the medical care system that are unique to the state of American's health, i.e. obesity, multiple c-sections, etc.  There is an element of religiosity and more concern for the baby than the mother that plays into continuing dangerous pregnancies as well or having a higher c-section rate.    The scare-mongering has got to stop.  Here, you are your own healthcare advocate, if you don't want to die, don't be a passive victim.  For example, with my 3rd c-section, I developed a sudden onset chest pain several days afterwards.  I marched myself into the ER and demanded they do a CT scan to rule out a blood clot.  The ER doctor wanted me to leave without one, so I got the nurse on my side and got it done.  In America, for the most part, you get to control your healthcare and on your schedule.  In other countries with single-payor, you are at the whims of doctors.  It is a different mindset.  (A gross over-generalization here).  

 

 

In any case, when one is still considering putting a career before children, one might want to think about why one really wants them.  What are you and your partner, OP, trying to gain by having children?  Raising a child properly takes an enormous amount of effort and time.  You don't simply get to waltz back into your life as it was before and pick up where you left off.  

 

Edited July 29, 2018 by N-o-l-a