Love and Happiness

[samandfemi 0]

I am sure that many of you VJer's received mixed reactions upon announcing your engagement or marriage or your foreign spouse or fiancé.

For this reason, I would like to pose a question.

1. Why would one person's happiness make another person so sad?
   
2. How could such a happy time in your life become bitter sweet to so-called friends and family?
   
3. Does misery really need company?
   

I guess it is good to know who your real friends are, but it sucks to find out at such a happy time in your life...

(Sorry....that was actually 3 questions)

Feel free to post or vent your own experiences.

[JoeMama 0]

1. Why would one person's happiness make another person so sad?
   
2. How could such a happy time in your life become bitter sweet to so-called friends and family?
   
3. Does misery really need company?
   

Question 1: 100% of people can never be happy. For every winner, there's a loser.

Question 2: Most people say they don't judge people or situations. But they do. Whether they want to admit or not.

Question 3: Absolutely! A sore loser doesn't like to sit in a corner by themselves. Just like any campaign, they try to gain supporters to give them affirmation.

Bottom line: Don't let someone else's misery or negativity suck you in. As Eleanor Roosevelt stated, no one can ever make you feel inferior without your consent! Live your life the way you want. Not by someone else's standards or opinions.

[Oath 0]

1. Why would one person's happiness make another person so sad?
   
2. How could such a happy time in your life become bitter sweet to so-called friends and family?
   
3. Does misery really need company?
   

1] Because they can, a lot of people feel better around people that are having a crappier time than they are.

2] Despite family being important, 90% of the time they just annoy the hell out of you, you just need to focus on the other 10% as for friends, well the only true friend is the one that would take a bullet for you.

3]No, misery prefers to be alone at least I do when I'm 'sad'

Edited May 11, 2007 by Oath

[Emancipation 2]

I am sure that many of you VJer's received mixed reactions upon announcing your engagement or marriage or your foreign spouse or fiancé.

For this reason, I would like to pose a question.

1. Why would one person's happiness make another person so sad?
   
2. How could such a happy time in your life become bitter sweet to so-called friends and family?
   
3. Does misery really need company?
   

I guess it is good to know who your real friends are, but it sucks to find out at such a happy time in your life...

(Sorry....that was actually 3 questions)

Feel free to post or vent your own experiences.

For me..

1. My family & Friends (and teens that I had worked with for 5 years), were just sad that I was leaving their "daily in person" lives. They were sad for the loss of a friend and the fact that love ment that I had to move away.

2. Again.. they were consumed with the fact that I was leaving.. no more to be present at family b'day parties, important events, and just goofing off at the beach.

3. I dunno.. now that I'm settled they are all starting to see how happy I am, how this is where i NEED to be, and they are moving on to the next drama.

I love my family & Friends, but I also understand the tension you are describing. I was the MOST happy for me.. And I suspect it's like that most of the time..

[homesick_american 1]

Nobody gave me any ####### for marrying a limey.

[Iyawo 0]

Well...everyone in my family, and all of my friends were against me meeting my husband, let alone marrying him. They just knew he was all sorts of evil things that he could never possibly be if he was an American man that I met here in my own country. I was like please! Look at all the losers all of y'all have been with. I never said anything about them. It's hard for people to think outside the box sometimes....myself included in that. When I was praying for my husband I forgot to ask that he be American lol I thank God that he isn't American though. Variety is the spice of life!

[Marlita 0]

I know EXACTLY what you mean! I never would've imagined my family would be so against my marriage. I heard about how certain friends or sisters get moody and upset when hearing about your marriage and I never got it. Now I am experiencing it first hand. I swear my love for this man is causing a great divide in my family and I have no idea why. Is it really that horrible that I want to settle down get married, have a family and just live my life? I really don't understand it.

[Deb_Res 0]

The bottom line is that you have to make yourself happy! If I had listened to everyone's negativity I would never be as happy as I am today. Sometimes you just have to take a big chance, there is no safety rail in life, no guarantees. I was tired of playing it safe and always being the "good girl"! I'm so glad I took this chance! I shocked the hell out of my friends and family when I up and went to Turkey on my own in 2005. It was the time of my life! It's funny that my friends who had the most to say were either divorced, in bad a bad marriage, or have never been in love or in a serious relationship! But they have nothing to say now... 2 years later my husband is here and they see we are very happy and they love him more than me sometimes! I knew once they met him they'd love him. It just takes time...

[chispas 0]

I am sure that many of you VJer's received mixed reactions upon announcing your engagement or marriage or your foreign spouse or fiancé.

For this reason, I would like to pose a question.

1. Why would one person's happiness make another person so sad? Perhaps fear of what your are getting in to may cause this. The age old jealousy thing can't be left out.
   
2. How could such a happy time in your life become bitter sweet to so-called friends and family? same answer as above
   
3. Does misery really need company? yes it does or it will fade or shine the light on the miserable one.
   

I guess it is good to know who your real friends are, but it sucks to find out at such a happy time in your life...

(Sorry....that was actually 3 questions)

Feel free to post or vent your own experiences.

[Anika&Tani 0]

My family, at first, had an issued with my fiance. Now they can't get enough of him! They see how much he loves me and cares for me and know he will take care of me well when he gets here. I do have a friend that has never, to date, come to terms with my relationship. All of my other friends told me that she would be the one that would give me a problem and they were right. I can't dwell on her negativity. It's sad that a supposed close friend can't be happy for you. I have always been happy for my friends when they found the love of their lives. Now that it's my turn it was interesting to see who was REALLY happy for me.

[JoeMama 0]

My family, at first, had an issued with my fiance. Now they can't get enough of him! They see how much he loves me and cares for me and know he will take care of me well when he gets here. I do have a friend that has never, to date, come to terms with my relationship. All of my other friends told me that she would be the one that would give me a problem and they were right. I can't dwell on her negativity. It's sad that a supposed close friend can't be happy for you. I have always been happy for my friends when they found the love of their lives. Now that it's my turn it was interesting to see who was REALLY happy for me.

Your friend is jealous. Let her wallow in her own sorrow. Just ignore what she's got to say. Either, she'll come to accept it or she won't. It's your happiness. Don't let her make you feel otherwise!

[Anika&Tani 0]

Your friend is jealous. Let her wallow in her own sorrow. Just ignore what she's got to say. Either, she'll come to accept it or she won't. It's your happiness. Don't let her make you feel otherwise!

I was trying not to go there......LOL......but you're right. She is jealous......everyone has been telling me that and I just didn't want to see it. And yes, I am ignoring her and enjoying the love of my life.

[Nessa 23]

* Why would one person's happiness make another person so sad?

Fear? To lose you or worry about your happiness. I'm very glad my family supported my decision, I'm sorry to hear it wasn't the same for you.

* How could such a happy time in your life become bitter sweet to so-called friends and family?

jealousy? or the same as above.

* Does misery really need company?

I believe misery loathes company, at least for me.

[Peikko 1,575]

Love is a very subjective emotion when it comes to couples. Family realise this and sometimes they can see 'outside' the emotions and spot something those 'inside' cannot see.

However, families/friends should put this is aside and support the person despite their fears/anxieties. Some find this hard to do which is natural, if irritating.

[ya falaha! 0]

A few of my oldest "friends" are not happy about my husband being here. My family (adoptive) isn't either but they're less obvious about it. My birth family is happy that I'm happy and doesn't pass judgement. It really hurts me that my so called friends are like this. I'm not sure what it is exactly that they're opposed to. Before Mo came I was included in every outing, party, get together, etc. Now that he's here, I'm not. They don't even want to meet him. It's as if he's done something to them but how could he? It does make me feel bad. Mo gets angry that they're doing this to me and tells me to just let it go. It's hard to let it go when these few "friends" have been in my life for 20+ yrs. I guess I don't have any good advice right now. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.