ROC after Divorce - USC Help

[Calicolom 266]

Get a restraining order against him, for stalking. 

[Orangesapples 1,954]

8 hours ago, mushroomspore said:

No, your ex-husband does not need your address at all.

 

He's the immigrant so honestly he should have taken the responsibility of collecting the evidence of married life seriously during your time together instead of asking you after the fact. Sorry to be blunt but this is childish behavior. It's like when a kid realizes he forgot an important project and it's due the next day so the parent stays up all night doing the project. 

 

He's trying to manipulate you. He needs nothing from you for RoC since the divorce was finalized. Your signed letter was already too much.

It's actually borderline stalking. OP, be safe and don't communicate with him. You need to protect your sanity. 

[little immigrant 801]

5 hours ago, kc214 said:

Since I haven't been answering his phone calls his lawyer  just emailed me the following " It is very important to get this right - if it looks at all suspicious, then it might cause you problems in the future since you petitioned for your husband. Thats why I have to be very careful with everything we give them."

You will not get in trouble for anything. He files ROC with a divorce waiver after all. They need to leave you alone. 

 

 

[mcdull 474]

“My daughter moved to China" 

[Bandt 87]

Just tell the lawyer you are done with it, and if either of them contact you again you will consider it harassment. Done.

[Going through 5,671]

17 hours ago, kc214 said:

Since I haven't been answering his phone calls his lawyer  just emailed me the following " It is very important to get this right - if it looks at all suspicious, then it might cause you problems in the future since you petitioned for your husband. Thats why I have to be very careful with everything we give them."

THIS part is making me wonder if something in his history was disclosed to his lawyer by him that you never knew about (regarding his personal history/immigration history).  Just the way it's worded sticks out to me as odd....sounds like the lawyer is foreseeing a problem in the future with the way his application is now.

[Ischnura 285]

 I would personally not respond to the lawyer myself. I'd hire my own to do the talking for me. There's no chance of you being bowled over, badgered in to handing over anything that isn't necessary for you to part with, no stress of having to talk to anybody but your own lawyer about it. With a bit of luck it should only take one well worded letter from a decent lawyer to his and they'll both leave you alone. 

 

 Any issues with his ROC aren't your problem. He isn't your problem. As soon as you were divorced ROC and living in the US was his to shoulder and he should have thought about that before hand. Sure, it sucks that he sounds like he forgot to get his stuff together but that's not your fault. All you get to do is live your life without him. Restraining order if he doesn't *shove off. 

 

EDIT: didn't realise the *word I used was going to be censored. My apologies.

Edited July 12, 2018 by Ischnura

[Villanelle 4,122]

23 hours ago, Going through said:

His lawyer is trying to plead with you on your ex's behalf, is all that sounds like.  You are not legally obliged to help him/the lawyer in any way during his ROC process.  It doesn't affect you in any way, problem-wise.

 

I would keep the email for any future reference, but suggest you don't even respond to it.

 

 

Since I haven't been answering his phone calls his lawyer  just emailed me the following " It is very important to get this right - if it looks at all suspicious, then it might cause you problems in the future since you petitioned for your husband. Thats why I have to be very careful with everything we give them."

6 hours ago, Going through said:

THIS part is making me wonder if something in his history was disclosed to his lawyer by him that you never knew about (regarding his personal history/immigration history).  Just the way it's worded sticks out to me as odd....sounds like the lawyer is foreseeing a problem in the future with the way his application is now.

 

 

I wouldnt really call it pleading on the ex's behalf. If you read everything the lawyer wrote he said 'its important to get this (the divorce waiver 751) right. if it looks even a little bit suspicious you (the ex wife)  can have problems. Thats why I (the laywer)need to be very careful with everything WE send them.

 

Who does the lawyer think we includes? The OP, ex, and attny? or just the ex and the attny.

 

 

And the bit about her having trouble cause of this- thats ridiculous. The lawyer clearly has some kind of issue or concerns about the packet they are assembling. And yes, it is true if it was a fraudulent marriage they were both in on they could both get in trouble.But I just find that implication insulting.  That she should be worried.

 

I suppose since she gave him paperworks and a letter the attny may be under the impression she is part of their 'team'. Especially if the ex is unstable and presents it that way.

 

So I think she needs to write back to the attny a very simple statement saying how she gave the letter to him and any paperwork she had. He can use what he wants and disregard/dispose of the rest. But that she wants no involvement in his ROC process and to refrain from contacting her again.

[Going through 5,671]

1 hour ago, Damara said:

And the bit about her having trouble cause of this- thats ridiculous. The lawyer clearly has some kind of issue or concerns about the packet they are assembling. And yes, it is true if it was a fraudulent marriage they were both in on they could both get in trouble.But I just find that implication insulting.  That she should be worried.

I'm not sure why you quoted me when replying the above..I never said she would have any trouble, and I never said that she should be worried?

[kc214 8]

I ended up sending the lawyer a very lengthy and stern email. He immediately replied and back tracked with a lot of what he originally said. This was his reasoning behind his "this could cause you a problem" comment:

 

"All I meant was that the government are only interested in seeing that the marriage was "bona fide" which of course it was. So we do everything we can to show that. And once they make that decision then you both get on with your lives. If the application doesn't make a good showing they could deny it for lack of evidence. And then if one day you decide you want to bring someone over again - whatever you feel now, you might one day - that would cast a real shadow over the whole thing for you."

 

He also said that he doesn't need my current address, my old address is fine. This is a huge relief for me. 

 

And he said he apologizes for my ex husband constantly contacting me...that now he (the attorney) would now contact me directly for anything else they need..........even though I said in the email that I have provided everything I can and no longer want to be a part of this. 

 

 

I have blocked my ex husbands number and so has my mother, so at least I won't be getting his calls/texts anymore. 

 

He has until 07/30 to submit his ROC application so I am hopeful things will finally be over for good. 

 

 

I want to once again give  a huge thank you to everyone who commented and sent me private messages. It's so beautiful to see strangers support each other  

Edited July 13, 2018 by kc214

[Ischnura 285]

The beauty of the divorce, though, is that you are already done with him and his ROC. That's not your business or problem, it's his. And whatever you decide to do in the future and with whom is none of your EX-Husband's or his lawyers business either. You get to get on with your life now, don't let them rope you in to a limbo.

[Mountain Climber 186]

23 hours ago, kc214 said:

I ended up sending the lawyer a very lengthy and stern email. He immediately replied and back tracked with a lot of what he originally said. This was his reasoning behind his "this could cause you a problem" comment:

 

"All I meant was that the government are only interested in seeing that the marriage was "bona fide" which of course it was. So we do everything we can to show that. And once they make that decision then you both get on with your lives. If the application doesn't make a good showing they could deny it for lack of evidence. And then if one day you decide you want to bring someone over again - whatever you feel now, you might one day - that would cast a real shadow over the whole thing for you."

 

He also said that he doesn't need my current address, my old address is fine. This is a huge relief for me. 

 

And he said he apologizes for my ex husband constantly contacting me...that now he (the attorney) would now contact me directly for anything else they need..........even though I said in the email that I have provided everything I can and no longer want to be a part of this. 

 

 

I have blocked my ex husbands number and so has my mother, so at least I won't be getting his calls/texts anymore. 

 

He has until 07/30 to submit his ROC application so I am hopeful things will finally be over for good. 

 

 

I want to once again give  a huge thank you to everyone who commented and sent me private messages. It's so beautiful to see strangers support each other  

Hopefully you can move on with your life now.  Good luck!