A letter from the marriage therapist to the USCIS (I-175 ROC)

[SadGirlneedshelp 5]

Hi all,

 

I am going through a divorce with my USC spouse. The divorce was initiated by my spouse. I suggested a marriage counseling together but he refused to attend it. So I have been seeing a therapist on my own. Upon the finalization of the divorce, I asked my therapist to write a letter to the immigration center. But my therapist has no idea what to write in this regard. Has anyone's therapist written anything to the USCIS? Do you know the content/format of the letter? Does the therapist need to state all the details of the conversations between us or does she just need to state that I have been visiting her?

 

Thanks!

[Bfree3 132]

When you asked your therapist to write the letter to USCIS, what exactly did you have in mind ?

 

 

[SadGirlneedshelp 5]

8 minutes ago, Bfree3 said:

When you asked your therapist to write the letter to USCIS, what exactly did you have in mind ?

 

 

I was thinking that a letter would prove the reason for me to visit a therapist was to save my marriage. However, according to the therapist's analysis, we are not going to work out because my spouse may have psychological or even mental issues, and our relationship is unhealthy. Neither me nor my therapist is clear whether we should put all the detailed discussions in the letter, or she should just say the purpose of me visiting her.

[statmania 12]

Well your therapist definitely should not put anything about the psychological health of anyone they have not met with and had the opportunity to diagnosis with the pat persons permission. An opinion of someone else’s mental health they have never treated is not proof. Seems you just need to file the waiver and really don’t need to state your are visiting a therapist. 

[SadGirlneedshelp 5]

1 minute ago, statmania said:

Well your therapist definitely should not put anything about the psychological health of anyone they have not met with and had the opportunity to diagnosis with the pat persons permission. An opinion of someone else’s mental health they have never treated is not proof. Seems you just need to file the waiver and really don’t need to state your are visiting a therapist. 

Okay. Thanks for the opinion. But why do I have to avoid stating I am visiting a therapist?

[mushroomspore 3,044]

20 minutes ago, SadGirlneedshelp said:

Okay. Thanks for the opinion. But why do I have to avoid stating I am visiting a therapist?

As far as USCIS is concerned, if your divorce went through and was finalized, the paperwork is all that matters.

 

If you and your ex-spouse were still together and legally married, then providing proof that you were BOTH attending therapy and actively trying to make the marriage work with a therapist is perfectly fine and necessary information to share with USCIS at the RoC stage. But since you are fully divorced, the therapy is a moot point now.

[SadGirlneedshelp 5]

1 minute ago, mushroomspore said:

As far as USCIS is concerned, if your divorce went through and was finalized, the paperwork is all that matters.

 

If you and your ex-spouse were still together and legally married, then providing proof that you were BOTH attending therapy and actively trying to make the marriage work with a therapist is perfectly fine and necessary information to share with USCIS at the RoC stage. But since you are fully divorced, the therapy is a moot point now.

I started going to the therapy 3 months before the divorce. I tried to talk to my ex to come with me many times, but he refused.

[mushroomspore 3,044]

25 minutes ago, SadGirlneedshelp said:

I started going to the therapy 3 months before the divorce. I tried to talk to my ex to come with me many times, but he refused.

Oh I see. Well once again, the therapy is not important to USCIS because your divorce was finalized. They may ask you in your RoC interview (if you have one) what happened to the marriage and you can tell them. 

 

But like I said, it'd be different if you guys were still working together to try and save the marriage. But in the eyes of the law and USCIS, you are now divorced and all they want from such cases is the paperwork showing the divorce was finalized.

[Going through 5,671]

10 hours ago, SadGirlneedshelp said:

I was thinking that a letter would prove the reason for me to visit a therapist was to save my marriage. However, according to the therapist's analysis, we are not going to work out because my spouse may have psychological or even mental issues, and our relationship is unhealthy. Neither me nor my therapist is clear whether we should put all the detailed discussions in the letter, or she should just say the purpose of me visiting her.

A letter like that is irrelevant now that the divorce is finalized.

Unless you were hoping a letter like that would somehow add to proof of a bonafide marriage before divorcing, because you attended therapy/marriage counselling on your own?  (It wouldn't prove that, by the way)

Edited July 11, 2018 by Going through

[geowrian 22,337]

I concur...the letter wouldn't have much meaning. It does not show if the marriage was entered into for the primary purpose of obtaining an immigration benefit or not. Anybody that was a scammer could do the same...and if the spouse suspected fraud, it's unlikely they would attend counseling anyway. You would be best served by showing evidence of a bona fide marriage while you were together since that's what they will be focusing on.

You'll be fine...just provide the documentation, wait nearly forever, maybe have an interview, then enjoy the 10 year card.

I'm sorry for how the marriage turned out...I understand it's rough.

Edited July 11, 2018 by geowrian

[Naes 12,205]

I’m confused.. weren’t you filing for divorce this Monday? Just for curiosity do divorces finalize that fast, or your husband filed before you know it?  

 

I’m sorry for what you’re going through... Just don’t forget to have proof of bonafide marriage.

[SadGirlneedshelp 5]

10 minutes ago, Naes said:

I’m confused.. weren’t you filing for divorce this Monday? Just for curiosity do divorces finalize that fast, or your husband filed before you know it?  

 

I’m sorry for what you’re going through... Just don’t forget to have proof of bonafide marriage.

It's almost finalized (potentially next week). We don't have complicated assets or kids so it should be done within a week. Minnesota is a quick state. My ex also agreed with everything I proposed (of course he might change his mind later). Sorry my wording might need to be corrected.  

[Naes 12,205]

6 minutes ago, SadGirlneedshelp said:

It's almost finalized (potentially next week). We don't have complicated assets or kids so it should be done within a week. Minnesota is a quick state. My ex also agreed with everything I proposed (of course he might change his mind later). Sorry my wording might need to be corrected.  

Oh no please don’t apologize, I was just curious if he sidetracked you or something because I was just reading the other post..as long as it’s finalized it’s better for you (hoping he will stick with his word) 

 

i know it cant be easy, but I really hope it turns out for the best in the long run.

[USC4SPOUSE 506]

On 7/10/2018 at 3:42 PM, SadGirlneedshelp said:

Hi all,

 

I am going through a divorce with my USC spouse. The divorce was initiated by my spouse. I suggested a marriage counseling together but he refused to attend it. So I have been seeing a therapist on my own. Upon the finalization of the divorce, I asked my therapist to write a letter to the immigration center. But my therapist has no idea what to write in this regard. Has anyone's therapist written anything to the USCIS? Do you know the content/format of the letter? Does the therapist need to state all the details of the conversations between us or does she just need to state that I have been visiting her?

 

Thanks!

 

I beg to disagree with the consensus here.  Do not forget that these are all opinions. The instructions state "Submit copies of documents indicating that the marriage upon which you were granted conditional status was entered in “good faith” and was not for the purpose of circumventing immigration laws. Submit copies of as many documents as you can to establish this fact, to demonstrate the circumstances of the relationship from the date of the marriage to the present date, and to demonstrate any circumstances surrounding the end of the relationship, if it has ended."

 

I do not see how or why a letter from your therapist is irrelevant. You are clearly not intending to submit such letter in lieu of a divorce decree. Does the letter demonstrate that your marriage was real? Not on its own. However, if you add that to other evidence of bona fide marriage that you may have, then yes, the letter adds a layer or another facet. 

 

I can't speak for the intentions behind the opinion of others. But you have to do what's in your best interest. That letter does not weigh 1 gram. Adding it to your file will not hurt you. Aside from that, your husband proved he can't be trusted. Who's to say that he won't turn around and mail a letter to USCIS accusing you fraud or whatever? So it seems to me that having your therapist state the reason you came to him/her and certify on letterhead the dates that you had therapy, would actually be helpful to demonstrate any circumstances surrounding the end of the relationship.

 

Before I respond to posts, I generally look through previous posts and I imagine others do, as well. It's inevitable to judge and wonder if you are telling the truth or not. There are some inconsistencies. For example: I am not sure I understand why you wouldn't front load and overload your I-751 petition to begin with. On this post, you asked "do I also need to send a lot of other information including tax files for the last year, pictures of joint credit cards, bank statements, and texts between us since we met ( I did not send all these materials since I thought our marriage is real and we were happily married, and was never afraid of any RFE or interviews)?

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/677772-switching-to-wavier-after-the-divorce/?tab=comments#comment-9268877

 

You are switching your I-751 to a waiver. This is your opportunity to include as much evidence of bona fide marriage as you can. EVERYTHING. There's no such thing as sending too many bank statements. You should craft a meticulous Table of Contents that lists ALL YOUR EVIDENCE and includes a brief explanation of what your evidence is proof of. Here is the Table of contents that I used as a guide for the I-130/I-485. http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/604970-i-751-cover-letter-list-of-evidence-samples-and-reviews-megathread/

 

Again, I do not understand why you wouldn't just send anything and everything that you have available to begin with. I would if I were you. 

 

All the best,

 

USC4SPOUSE

 

 

 

 

[SadGirlneedshelp 5]

1 hour ago, USC4SPOUSE said:

I beg to disagree with the consensus here.  Do not forget that these are all opinions. The instructions state "Submit copies of documents indicating that the marriage upon which you were granted conditional status was entered in “good faith” and was not for the purpose of circumventing immigration laws. Submit copies of as many documents as you can to establish this fact, to demonstrate the circumstances of the relationship from the date of the marriage to the present date, and to demonstrate any circumstances surrounding the end of the relationship, if it has ended."

 

I do not see how or why a letter from your therapist is irrelevant. You are clearly not intending to submit such letter in lieu of a divorce decree. Does the letter demonstrate that your marriage was real? Not on its own. However, if you add that to other evidence of bona fide marriage that you may have, then yes, the letter adds a layer or another facet. 

 

I can't speak for the intentions behind the opinion of others. But you have to do what's in your best interest. That letter does not weigh 1 gram. Adding it to your file will not hurt you. Aside from that, your husband proved he can't be trusted. Who's to say that he won't turn around and mail a letter to USCIS accusing you fraud or whatever? So it seems to me that having your therapist state the reason you came to him/her and certify on letterhead the dates that you had therapy, would actually be helpful to demonstrate any circumstances surrounding the end of the relationship.

 

Before I respond to posts, I generally look through previous posts and I imagine others do, as well. It's inevitable to judge and wonder if you are telling the truth or not. There are some inconsistencies. For example: I am not sure I understand why you wouldn't front load and overload your I-751 petition to begin with. On this post, you asked "do I also need to send a lot of other information including tax files for the last year, pictures of joint credit cards, bank statements, and texts between us since we met ( I did not send all these materials since I thought our marriage is real and we were happily married, and was never afraid of any RFE or interviews)?

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/677772-switching-to-wavier-after-the-divorce/?tab=comments#comment-9268877

 

You are switching your I-751 to a waiver. This is your opportunity to include as much evidence of bona fide marriage as you can. EVERYTHING. There's no such thing as sending too many bank statements. You should craft a meticulous Table of Contents that lists ALL YOUR EVIDENCE and includes a brief explanation of what your evidence is proof of. Here is the Table of contents that I used as a guide for the I-130/I-485. http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/604970-i-751-cover-letter-list-of-evidence-samples-and-reviews-megathread/

 

Again, I do not understand why you wouldn't just send anything and everything that you have available to begin with. I would if I were you. 

 

All the best,

 

USC4SPOUSE

 

 

 

 

Thank you so much for your suggestion!

 

I just thought if I show that we have some joint accounts it should be fine. I did not send all the bank statements from the beginning of our marriage to the end because that would make it tens of pounds (we have multiple joint bank accounts too). I did not send any credit card copies because when we had the first interview, the officer said it was not necessary to make copies of those. But anyway, I have them in hand now and I will add more updated items. I will also have two more affidavits from my coworkers who know both of us.