White House Staffers Meet With Citizens Who Say They Were Victims of Marriage Fraud

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

17 hours ago, debbiedoo said:

Take responsibility for your own actions. If someone is duped, well... more often than not there was some sort of warning sign that they chose to ignore, or were so blinded by 'love' they didnt see.

 

This is part of where my issue with having to meet only once comes in. You simply cant know a person (imo) in ONE in person visit. But... thems the rules so. ok.

 

Knowing your partner and fiance takes more than proficiency in whatever social media app is your favorite.

 

 

 

 

SAME. I read a thread recently where the lady hadn't even MET the person face to face yet and was already ready to file for K1. Everyone kept telling her she should REALLY meet them first before anything else, and she was VERY defensive and argumentative. Didn't want to hear it. I know it can feel like you know your partner inside and out, even from afar - I didn't meet my now husband for a whole year after we became involved, mostly because I wanted to be sure of things before taking that step. By the time we were ready to meet, I felt there couldn't be anything else I could know about him. But it definitely goes to a whole other level when you're together in person. In some cases, it only strengthens the relationship. In others, it sometimes reveals the old man behind the curtain, so to speak. Some people are all smoke and mirrors behind a keyboard.

 

19 hours ago, Scandi said:

Well, the US citizen can't just blame the system for his ex being able to file for VAWA, the US citizen should really get to know their partner WELL before bringing him/her to the US in the first place.

 

I see so many of those types of cases here on VJ, people come here and complain "He only wanted me for a greencard, now when he has it he left me! What can I do to throw his ### out of the country?". The first thing you should've done was to get to know him before marrying him and bringing him here.. You clearly failed at that and now have to live with it.

THIS. It drives me crazy when they're ultimately wanting to know how to kick them out of the country. That's not how this works. I'm sure that's the knee jerk reaction, especially if someone obviously scammed you. But it's like people who willingly participate in some kind of financial scam ("I gave this stranger on the phone my online banking credentials and they took my money and now I want it back from my bank") - you willingly participate, you are ultimately responsible for the consequences.

[ThomasNC1988 762]

I would think the main thing to remember if it seems too good to be true it probably is. It is not always a good thing to judge a book by its cover but sometimes you can look at a picture of a couple and think something is amiss here. That's not to say some 20 year old girls from 2nd and 3rd world countries don't really truly love 65 year old white men, but your money and that green card probably din't hurt your chances. Then you have the ones that bring their fiance here and the fiance goes straight to living with relatives or friends and for some reason the USC still marries them and files AOS. It is hard to admit when you are made a fool of and it is hard to tell a family member that you think the "love of their life" is conning them but sometimes people just need to step up and face the truth.

[*Snowdrop* 604]

The weird thing about this article is neither of the cases they use as examples seem like VAWA cases. 

 

The 'military guy' said she disappeared 'the next day' after they got married. Doesn't seem as though it would have been long enough to establish any evidence for a VAWA claim.

[Unidentified 2,930]

8 hours ago, Redheadguy03 said:

One visit kind of depends on the length of the visit. I visited my wife once, but I spent over 5 months there. 

 

I do agree people need to spend more time together though. 

 

One thing for me was my wife didn't even care about coming to the United States. It's just what made the most sense, so it's what we did. Watch out for people really wanting to come over it's usually a red flag. 

That's a really good lengthy visit thought. Most people they meet once for like a week or a couple of days  And yes, I agree that seeming desperate to come to the United States is definitely a red flag. 

[debbiedoo 2,339]

8 hours ago, Redheadguy03 said:

One visit kind of depends on the length of the visit. I visited my wife once, but I spent over 5 months there. 

 

I do agree people need to spend more time together though. 

 

One thing for me was my wife didn't even care about coming to the United States. It's just what made the most sense, so it's what we did. Watch out for people really wanting to come over it's usually a red flag. 

my socialist canadian hippy fiance wouldnt have ever even CONSIDERED moving here before he met me.

 

geez, love makes ya do crazy things lololololol

 

and we are together at least one long weekend a month and usually a week over xmas and summer - sometimes slightly longer (last year almost a month in summer). lol

Edited July 11, 2018 by debbiedoo

[E & J 2018 132]

I think that you should have at least 6 months to make the decision to marry, after arrival in the USA. I also think that if you are not married for at least three years (barring domestic abuse, death), in most cases, you should leave.

 

It is a serious commitment on both parties and both parties should have consequences.

 

Just my opinion.

[WeGuyGal 1,052]

26 minutes ago, E & J 2018 said:

I think that you should have at least 6 months to make the decision to marry, after arrival in the USA. I also think that if you are not married for at least three years (barring domestic abuse, death), in most cases, you should leave.

 

It is a serious commitment on both parties and both parties should have consequences.

 

Just my opinion.

If not married while on a K1 within 90 days, one has to leave.. that law exists today. 

 

How to enforce that law.. is the question. 

[RLA 323]

@E & J 2018, your proposal would only increase the immigrating fiancé’s risk, which in my opinion is already higher than the petitioner’s.  It’s also not clear to me if increasing the time to get married from 90 days to 6 months would make much of a difference. Most people seem to marry asap anyway.  But even if you took those 6 months to get to know your fiancé better, I’m not sure how much that would help.  During those 6 months your fiancé will be in limbo, so it won’t really compare to married life.  The idea with K1 is that you get to know your fiancé before they enter the US.  It’s on the petitioner to make sure of that. 

[Unidentified 2,930]

40 minutes ago, E & J 2018 said:

I think that you should have at least 6 months to make the decision to marry, after arrival in the USA. I also think that if you are not married for at least three years (barring domestic abuse, death), in most cases, you should leave.

 

It is a serious commitment on both parties and both parties should have consequences.

 

Just my opinion.

No, I think we should increase the requirement for amount of visits. The time you have in the United States is for you to have enough time to go get marriage license, find someone to marry you and get married and send in the paperwork. Not get to know your future spouse, that should have been done before you were even approved for the visa.

 

 

[E & J 2018 132]

I know you must marry within 90 days...… I'm just saying that you should have a little more time to make the decision to go forward with the marriage. Personally, I plan on waiting until day 85, before we will marry to make sure we are both in agreement. There are many things that can come into play...…. Read the boards and there are many examples..... 

[Unidentified 2,930]

2 minutes ago, E & J 2018 said:

I know you must marry within 90 days...… I'm just saying that you should have a little more time to make the decision to go forward with the marriage. Personally, I plan on waiting until day 85, before we will marry to make sure we are both in agreement. There are many things that can come into play...…. Read the boards and there are many examples..... 

Oh I know, I've been here a while. And I know a lot of the issues stems from the fact that people only meet once or twice. Sure there's also a few cases of homesickness but those are not as frequent and they are often accompanied with only 1-2 visits. 

[debbiedoo 2,339]

3 minutes ago, Unidentified said:

No, I think we should increase the requirement for amount of visits. The time you have in the United States is for you to have enough time to go get marriage license, find someone to marry you and get married and send in the paperwork. Not get to know your future spouse, that should have been done before you were even approved for the visa.

 

 

thank you! i think one visit is ludicrous.

i (we) also think if you are filing a SECOND k1 .... that it should have higher/stricter examination and different criteria. and that 2nd k1 is the limit. that doesnt work out, no more for you, no waivers, no nothing.

 

paul and i had a really long convo about that just last week. im sure our opinion wouldnt be popular, but it is what it is, and the laws are what they are, so people do what is allowed.

[Unidentified 2,930]

Just now, LizM said:

I assume you mean someone officiate the marriage? 

 

I agree though. Getting to know should happen before K1.

Yes, that's what I meant. Sometimes my fingers work faster then my brain when I type. Thank you  

[E & J 2018 132]

8 minutes ago, RLA said:

@E & J 2018, your proposal would only increase the immigrating fiancé’s risk, which in my opinion is already higher than the petitioner’s.  It’s also not clear to me if increasing the time to get married from 90 days to 6 months would make much of a difference. Most people seem to marry asap anyway.  But even if you took those 6 months to get to know your fiancé better, I’m not sure how much that would help.  During those 6 months your fiancé will be in limbo, so it won’t really compare to married life.  The idea with K1 is that you get to know your fiancé before they enter the US.  It’s on the petitioner to make sure of that. 

I respectfully disagree.....  The petitioner has a much higher risk.....  We live in the USA.... most people have two weeks vacation per year. How can you possibly know what it will be like to live with someone, outside of a vacation scenario.  If you are scammed and they run off with someone after a few months or a year,  the petitioner can be held liable for financial support for ten years!!! I think the risk is much greater for the petitioner......

[Unidentified 2,930]

2 minutes ago, E & J 2018 said:

I respectfully disagree.....  The petitioner has a much higher risk.....  We live in the USA.... most people have two weeks vacation per year. How can you possibly know what it will be like to live with someone, outside of a vacation scenario.  If you are scammed and they run off with someone after a few months or a year,  the petitioner can be held liable for financial support for ten years!!! I think the risk is much greater for the petitioner......

If the petitioner can't find the time to go visit then maybe he should just try to find someone closer to home. Just saying.