Abusive marraige ended

[Survivor123 6]

I was in a marriage with lots of love and lots of serious abuse.

 

divorced now.

 

I believe hubby has a mental illness which he refused to treat or acknowledge.

 

Got divorced about a month ago.  One year left of Conditional residency.

 

In heavy depression and had a few nervous breakdowns.  Cannot go back to home country.

 

i understand i can apply for divorce waiver, however was hoping to apply for abuse waiver given part of the abuse was control and i may not have enough paperwork for divorce waiver.

 

Am seeing a therapist, my question is does a therapist document suffice apart from all other things needed or does it have to be a psychiatrist?

 

excuse message being abrupt struggling for 2 days with dissociation.

[Mollie09 1,543]

1 minute ago, Survivor123 said:

I was in a marriage with lots of love and lots of serious abuse.

 

divorced now.

 

I believe hubby has a mental illness which he refused to treat or acknowledge.

 

Got divorced about a month ago.  One year left of Conditional residency.

 

In heavy depression and had a few nervous breakdowns.  Cannot go back to home country.

 

i understand i can apply for divorce waiver, however was hoping to apply for abuse waiver given part of the abuse was control and i may not have enough paperwork for divorce waiver.

 

Am seeing a therapist, my question is does a therapist document suffice apart from all other things needed or does it have to be a psychiatrist?

 

excuse message being abrupt struggling for 2 days with dissociation.

Abuse waiver still requires you to prove that you entered the marriage in good faith

[Emmah1979 3]

I hear ya and well done for getting out I am going through the same but my petition had o my got tok the DOS, mental illness is an awful thing and my husband will  not admit or get help but just go deeper and deeper and he believes he has done nothing wrong and thinks he is a victim when I am.  He won't even communicate with me. I am trying to get an annulment

 

Good luck 

[databit 328]

Was abuse mentioned in the divorce papers? If not, that is a red flag. If it was, that would help your case.

 

The fact that you are depressed now could easily be attributed to the divorce itself, and that is a common result of divorcing---or so an opposing attorney would argue. And the fact that you are not seeing a psychiatrist? Does that mean you're not taking any meds for the depression? Sounds like the depression is not severe--or so an opposing attorney would argue. Your ex could conceivably sue you for defamation if the abuse could not be proven.

Edited July 6, 2018 by databit

[Ontarkie 14,236]

3 minutes ago, databit said:

Was abuse mentioned in the divorce papers? If not, that is a red flag. If it was, that would help your case.

 I like many other women who filed for divorce did not put the abuse down. Many times it puts abused women in more danger, it's not a red flag. 

[Boiler 45,580]

I belive many men do notmmention abuse either.

[Ontarkie 14,236]

Yes it goes both ways. 

[databit 328]

4 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

 I like many other women who filed for divorce did not put the abuse down. Many times it puts abused women in more danger, it's not a red flag. 

But did you apply for a divorce waiver, or did you go for VAWA like OP is wanting to do?

[Survivor123 6]

Dear VJers 

 

Sorry my post was incomplete.  I have proof of abuse, police reports, stayed in shelter etc.

 

Am looking for specific information if psychiatrist or psychologist documentation is required.  I cannot afford more than the free therapist i am seeing.

[Boiler 45,580]

I would imagine most people would tell you to go with the simpler option, divorce waiver.

[Survivor123 6]

I want to try the abuse waiver.

 

Am an abuse victim way beyond many victims.   I did everything possible for him from never asking for anything even though i had it all before - to sex 2-3 times every day.

 

I waited on in him day in and out, from foot massages to ‘understanding’  his rage involving breaking things and yelling for hours when i did things such as leaving a pack of chips outside (left it so kids would finish it), taking a break from dishes for 30 mins due to unbearable back pain and swelling, asking for a kiss when i wanted it...  about 150 rage episodes around 50 of which went on over 2 hours.

 

I was not put on bank accounts, life insurance, mortgage .... anything.  I never went out alone.  I understand that abuse waiver understands lack of these documents.

 

I cannot put my life story here - but have no other country to go back to hence want to get citizenship as soon as possible - i understand abuse waiver candidates can apply in 3 years.

 

 

 

So would a lawyer on here be able to advise

 

is therapist documentation enough?  She happened to also witness first hand incident.

[Survivor123 6]

Also i visited field office and the Officer said she believes an abuse waiver should be very possible just listening to 3 mins of my story and seeing me skin and bones left.

 

they gave me pro bono lawyers contacts - so far not been able to go through on the days i am able to try make the calls.

 

 

[Boiler 45,580]

Most people seem capable of doing their own Divorce Waivers, there are some odd ball situations where a competent lawyer would be advised.

 

For abuse, well I have not seen many, seems most go with the simpler route so yes I would recommend you involve a Lawyer.

[Boiler 45,580]

3 minutes ago, Survivor123 said:

Also i visited field office and the Officer said she believes an abuse waiver should be very possible just listening to 3 mins of my story and seeing me skin and bones left.

 

they gave me pro bono lawyers contacts - so far not been able to go through on the days i am able to try make the calls.

 

 

You might need to pay, not sure a pro bono would want to complicate matters, but let us know what they say, like I mentioned not a common scenario.

[Villanelle 4,122]

Abuse waivers are quite common Boiler. (unless we have different definitions of how often common is).

 

OP- check out the vawa thread or search for abuse waiver 751 on here. 

 

You are correct you can explain why you lack bonafide evidences due to the abuse and it is taken into consideration. For abuse you can be claiming mental or physical (or both). Whatever you claim you have to prove. Physical is proven with police reports, medical reports, restraining orders etc. Mental is shown with a psych evaluation, meds, self written statement etc. 

 

I dont know if your therapist is qualified to write the report. Therapist is a very broad category. You need someone with a graduate degree (either in psychology, psychiatry, or social work) and is licensed. But its better to go with someone who has experience writing immigration reports then to try to get your current dr to write one. Immigration looks for certain terms in the reports and it has to be written a certain way.

 

Youll need to find a dr and do 5-7 sessions to get a report done properly if you are claiming mental abuse and wish to include a psych report.