Older American woman younger Egyptian man

[MaryJean 2]

Hello everyone. I am new to this website and hopefully can get some advice.  There's a 29 year age difference between me and my fiance. We met online one year ago through a mutual friend and fell in love.  Although we video chat for hours and hours every day we will not be meeting in person until November. He tried to get a tourist visa back in November of 2017 and was refused.  We believe his situation has improved since that time and he's more able to now provide documentation of strong ties to Egypt so he will be trying again in August.  If he is refused again I will be flying to Egypt in November and we plan to marry there.  And then plan to apply for cr1 visa for him.  I realize that our age difference will be a red flag... However I have a Year's worth of daily chats that I can print out as evidence of our relationship.

 

My question is, what are the chances that they will refuse a cr1 Visa because of our age difference?

 

I know it's difficult to marry in Egypt but I'm willing to do all of this for us...so that we can start our life together. But I would be devastated to marry him and then be told we can't be together here in the US.

 

Any advice on how to better our chances?

 

Thank you,

MJ

Edited June 26, 2018 by MaryJean
Typo

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

  No matter how many hours a day you spend talking online you never really know someone until you get some face time in.  Going over there for a short trip and marrying is a very bad idea. You will need a lot of face time to overcome a 29 year age difference.  With that difference I assume you are past child bearing age and that is a huge red flag.  Humans want to reproduce in general, for a young man from most cultures that is a sign of their manhood and not something they would toss aside for "love"   If you are not staying st least a month when you travel I would suggest not marrying until a second trip otherwise you have about a zero percent chance at getting a visa the fist time around.

[Eye 74]

17 minutes ago, MaryJean said:

Hello everyone. I am new to this website and hopefully can get some advice.  There's a 29 year age difference between me and my fiance. We met online one year ago through a mutual friend and fell in love.  Although we video chat for hours and hours every day we will not be meeting in person until November. He tried to get a tourist visa back in November of 2017 and was refused.  We believe his situation has improved since that time and he's more able to now provide documentation of strong ties to Egypt so he will be trying again in August.  If he is refused again I will be flying to Egypt in November and we plan to marry there.  And then plan to apply for cr1 visa for him.  I realize that our age difference will be a red flag... However I have a Year's worth of daily chats that I can print out as evidence of our relationship.

 

My question is, what are the chances that they will refuse a cr1 Visa because of our age difference?

 

I know it's difficult to marry in Egypt but I'm willing to do all of this for us...so that we can start our life together. But I would be devastated to marry him and then be told we can't be together here in the US.

 

Any advice on how to better our chances?

 

Thank you,

MJ

I strongly advise that before you marry, you plan several visits, you visit him and he visits you, meet his family and friends and vice versa. And document it all. Then if you still feel you're called to be married to him, marry him and file.

[Kastrs 723]

I do not necessarily have issue with marring on the first visit ( I married my husband the first time around) BUT I would wondering about the following

 

Are you of the same religion? Will you be spending time with his family on this trip? Where will you be staying? Have you been previously married and do you have kids?

Have you been to Egypt or any other Muslim majority country in the past?

Does your Fiance have siblings? Are they married? Do they have kids?

Also, this mutual friend how do you both know him and how was this relationship initiated

 

And most importantly- are you willing to move to Egypt? You are up against huge odds here, If you are not willing/able to move to Egypt give it more thought

Edited June 26, 2018 by Kastrs

[mrmvkjts 459]

I think if u go there and marry on your first visit, with all the other red flags (age difference,...) it will be very difficult for him to get his visa. 

In my opinion  you should plan a couple trips, which I know is expensive and time consuming but I think it will be in you favor in the end!! 

 

 

[MaryJean 2]

He is not able to visit me here in the US, otherwise he would be here already. It's not easy getting a tourist visa out of Egypt.  Our original plan was for him to come here on a tourist visa so that we could establish are in person face-to-face relationship and then apply for a K-1 Visa after he returned to Egypt.  Because he was already denied once for a tourist visa and most likely he will be denied again when he tries in August we've decided that plan B will be for me to come there and marry him.  

 

I have met all of his family and interact with them almost daily during our chats.  

 

And yes, you can really get to know someone this way.

 

He does not care to have children. My children are grown adults now and yes I am divorced.

 

We are not the same religion.

 

He speaks English.

 

Everyone in both of our families approves of the relationship and we are all anxious to meet and spend time together.  No One In Our Lives who know us doubt the validity of our relationship because they have seen it grow and Blossom over the last year.  

 

I wish I had the means and luxury of traveling back and forth to Egypt but I am not a rich woman and I have commitments here that prevent me from traveling. I'm lucky that I'm managing to get there for one visit. And I can't relocate to Egypt.  

 

I realize that the Consular officer has all the power in the world to judge our relationship and just a few minutes but it seems so unfair that someone who doesn't know us gets to make such an important decision that will affect both of our lives forever.

[Amit&Julie 180]

Also, does his family know about you? Have you talked to them before, and what is your relationship with them like? If you go there, will you spend time with his family? How do they feel about his relationship with you? What do you two have in common? 

 

These are things that a US consular officer would look at, and what you should consider as well. Also, how would you feel about moving to Egypt? What would his reaction be if you proposed to move there? Some things to think about...

[Kastrs 723]

1 minute ago, MaryJean said:

He is not able to visit me here in the US, otherwise he would be here already. It's not easy getting a tourist visa out of Egypt.  Our original plan was for him to come here on a tourist visa so that we could establish are in person face-to-face relationship and then apply for a K-1 Visa after he returned to Egypt.  Because he was already denied once for a tourist visa and most likely he will be denied again when he tries in August we've decided that plan B will be for me to come there and marry him.  

 

I have met all of his family and interact with them almost daily during our chats.  

 

And yes, you can really get to know someone this way.

 

He does not care to have children. My children are grown adults now and yes I am divorced.

 

We are not the same religion.

 

He speaks English.

 

Everyone in both of our families approves of the relationship and we are all anxious to meet and spend time together.  No One In Our Lives who know us doubt the validity of our relationship because they have seen it grow and Blossom over the last year.  

 

I wish I had the means and luxury of traveling back and forth to Egypt but I am not a rich woman and I have commitments here that prevent me from traveling. I'm lucky that I'm managing to get there for one visit. And I can't relocate to Egypt.  

 

I realize that the Consular officer has all the power in the world to judge our relationship and just a few minutes but it seems so unfair that someone who doesn't know us gets to make such an important decision that will affect both of our lives forever.

But the staff are versed in cultural norms and surely you must know that your relationship is entirely outside of the bounds of cultural norms

 

How long are you planning to stay on this trip, are you staying with his family, are you having a traditional wedding and who is paying for the wedding

 

also, do you intend to visit again after the wedding and before the visa interview

 

and most importantly, in the event he is not granted the visa, do you have a plan B for that?

[geowrian 22,337]

1 minute ago, MaryJean said:

I realize that the Consular officer has all the power in the world to judge our relationship and just a few minutes but it seems so unfair that someone who doesn't know us gets to make such an important decision that will affect both of our lives forever.

Not to be a Negative Nancy, but what would make it "fair"? The requirement is to show that you are bona fide to avoid fraud, both to the USC or LPR petitioners (people have been scammed many times even with this) and to the US. There needs to be some form of validation or fraud would be rampant, and lots of innocent people would be harmed in the process. While it may not always seem like it, especially in one's own case, the steps are there - in part - for your protection.

 

Almost any decision will impact your lives forever. But a visa decision won't keep you apart forever.

[Teemo 252]

The obstacle you will have to surmount, over and above the proof of a valid relationship, is the idea that he is just pretending to be in love with you to get the green card, then all of a sudden you will have "marital problems" and divorce. The issue is that that is actually somewhat common, and many of those cases have features in common that are present in yours. This week alone I have seen many denials on this forum from Ghana, Morocco, and other countries that are considered "high fraud." Because, there is a high level of this kind of stuff going on. 

 

Honestly the show 90 Day Fiancee makes this process even worse, because there are some couples on there where this is definitely happening and we get to peek into their relationships. The US citizen feels he/she is in love, and that person loves them back, and they are in a bona fide relationship as evidenced by chats and family support, and then....at the first second the beneficiary is able to leave he sometimes does (I'm looking at you Mohammed). 

 

Of course, comparing your relationship to a trashy TV show is insulting and does you a disservice. But, you have to see it from their point of view. How will you guys overcome the presumption of "He is scamming her to get a green card?" That is demonstrably harder to overcome than "Is this a real relationship?"

 

That is why you are getting the advice to spend lots of face to face time together. Because the standard will be that high. Good luck. 

Edited June 26, 2018 by Teemo

[EandH0904 1,184]

17 minutes ago, MaryJean said:

 

I wish I had the means and luxury of traveling back and forth to Egypt but I am not a rich woman and I have commitments here that prevent me from traveling. I'm lucky that I'm managing to get there for one visit. 

In the end you came here to get advice about your chances. People are telling you that your chances are poor and you seem to be getting defensive.  We aren't attacking you or your relationship just have been around long enough to see this will not end well. 

 

My husband from Morocco our age difference is half yours. We are still concerned about our chances after 2 years, 6 visits and plenty of co-mingling assets and finances to show a bonafide relationship.

 

We just know your chances of a successful cr1 Visa will be higher with multiple visits and a lot of time spent together. If you choose to bypass that and get married first visit, that is your choice but it will likely not be successful and a year from now you will be on here asking questions about the next step after a Visa refusal. 

 

You need to decide what is important to you....being married to someone on paper that you will rarely see and may take years of appeals before you are together or doing your due diligence up front to increase your chances later. 

 

I understand that either decision will be expensive and time consuming and likely take years. We just want to make you understand that as well. Nothing about this is fast or easy and a lot of countries in MENA regions, even with people of same ages, same religion, multiple visits dont get approved. 

 

We are trying to help you by telling you the best chance for success, which I believe you want. It's been my experience most people in the end do what they want to do - again - their choices - but a year from now you could be regretting the decision to rush into marriage because of an unapproved Visa at the consular level. 

[RJandHamid 1,133]

You've received a lot of good advice and I hope that you at least consider what everyone here is trying to say. They are not saying it to be cruel or unfair, rather it's because they actually want you to have a good visa outcome, even if it means waiting a bit longer before jumping into the visa process. We've seen too many cases of visa/marriage fraud to be overly optimistic. Not saying that this is your case, however the history of fraud marriages happening in Egypt and in the MENA region in general make it easy to be overly cautious. 

 

I also strongly suggest that you make at least 1 initial trip to Egypt before committing to marriage. The Cairo embassy is notoriously difficult, many couples who don't have any so called 'red flags' are still placed under months of AP and cases that seem strong can be denied. Make at least 1 trip to get to know him in person. 

[visaqueries 111]

I met my husband on a trip I took with a friend to Egypt in 2009.

 

In 2012 he tried for a visitor visa and was denied.  He brought evidence to the interview, but they did not want to see any of it.  Within two minutes he was denied.  So, I went in May of 2012 to meet him again and decide what we should do.  We ended up filing a K1 visa.  It was not easy.  My husband is 11+ years younger than me.  I come from a Christian family.  He comes from a Muslim family.  I was close to not being child-bearing age (we have no children still).  One of the big questions they asked was why when he applied for a visitor visa did he say I was a friend, but now I'm petitioning for him as a fiance.  His response was that prior to our meeting in May 2012 (when he applied to visit), we hadn't seen each other and didn't know if we'd date or just be friends.  After seeing each other, it was confirmed.

 

His interview was long and hard.  He speaks awesome English, but they really looked over all the evidence with a fine tooth comb.  He was not approved at the interview.  They actually wanted to make sure we weren't already married.  All in all, it worked out.  However, I was able to visit him.  I visited him about 5 times prior to his approval...once being 70 days.  I teach school, so that made it easier for me.  

 

Each case is individual, but things I'd consider:

       What did he say he was going to do in the US when he applied and will apply for the next visitor visa?  Did he say he was coming to visit you, a fiancee?

       Is there a chance, even if it's during your application is being processed, that you could visit him a second time?

       When you visit, be thinking of things you could do to build up the evidence.  If you are going to add him to property or life insurance or accounts, will you need a signature?            If so, bring those documents.

 

All in all, if you are going to marry and petition, begin to think now about how you can strengthen the application you will submit.  

Edited June 26, 2018 by visaqueries

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

56 minutes ago, NigeriaorBust said:

  No matter how many hours a day you spend talking online you never really know someone until you get some face time in.  Going over there for a short trip and marrying is a very bad idea. You will need a lot of face time to overcome a 29 year age difference.  With that difference I assume you are past child bearing age and that is a huge red flag.  Humans want to reproduce in general, for a young man from most cultures that is a sign of their manhood and not something they would toss aside for "love"   If you are not staying st least a month when you travel I would suggest not marrying until a second trip otherwise you have about a zero percent chance at getting a visa the fist time around.

good advice

chances of him getting tourist visit with an american gf are slim

i would plan a meeting with him in another neutral type country 

then plan on the marriage (second meeting)

they do not like marriages on 1st meeting and that will be mentioned as an issue

we also have big age difference / took me 6 trips to get approved (all 1 month to 3 months)

they will not write it is about age but it will be

i had to add him to deed, TAX returns, bank account / we had to commingle assests to be approved

write a personal note and i will share our story 

[Sunnyland 639]

Considering that there is a 29 years difference. How old are you and him?

Being the OP older than the beneficiary. I personally would be VERY careful in marrying anybody in the first visit.  Never mind the country. People can deceive you online. People always will seem nicer and beautiful online. 

I met my now husband online (he is a few years older than me) and we never thought of marrying in the first visit. The marriage proposal came up on the third visit.  And even now after a few years of marriage we still find many "new" things of each other. REAL life hits you differently than a cozy chat online. We are only telling you to be aware of the fraud out there. Better be sure now (after you meet him a couple times) that he really LOVES you for who you are, and not for what you can offer him (GC). 

We see many cases here on VJ of women trying to deport their foreign spouse because they felt scammed. Of course they never took the time to know well who they were bringing here and then they will be on the hook for this person for many years.

Our advice here for you is Get to know that person. Especially when there is such a big difference in age. Better be safe than sorry for the rest of your life.