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CEE53147 Rising Star

CEE53147   559

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OP is not a terrible person. She is in a terrible situation, but she must put herself before her mother now because she has little children depending on her now. Many of us have had wonderful, hardworking parents who have sacrificed much for us but also knew that they had to care for themselves so they could care for us.

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Roel
Roel

Stuff like this is very easy to say, when you never had to take care of someone who is nothing but troubles and who is ungrateful. Do you really think its all about food? She's an adult, not an old pe

N-o-l-a
N-o-l-a

I don't know how people get your perspective with their parents.  My mother is retiring and there was not an icicle's chance in hell she'd be living with us or staying for extended visits.  Thankfully

databit
databit

You have a new life in a new country. Don't let your mother force "old country" customs on you. You are the boss of your life now. Lay down the rules. 

amaloveskofi Explorer

amaloveskofi   7

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ghana
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1 hour ago, CEE53147 said:

OP is not a terrible person. She is in a terrible situation, but she must put herself before her mother now because she has little children depending on her now. Many of us have had wonderful, hardworking parents who have sacrificed much for us but also knew that they had to care for themselves so they could care for us.

Thank u. I appreciate that.

I-130 for mom

04/09/2016- filled i-130 for my mom. Mailed to Chicago.

04/11/16. - package delivered.

04/13/16. - NOA1

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amaloveskofi Explorer

amaloveskofi   7

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3 hours ago, Paul & Mallory said:

Good gracious. All the judgmental people making the OP feel bad for how they feel because they don't have their mother, or have a mother they don't have to take care of. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people negate someone else's frustrations or feelings simply because they had it worse, or differently. All. Situations. Relationships. Etc. Are. DIFFERENT. The OP's experience is not yours.

 

OP came here to vent to the only people they know who can possibly relate. Not for people to make them feel like a terrible person. Sounds like they get enough of that at home.

 

Though I cannot relate to you, OP (at least not in this point in my life), I can understand your frustration and your feelings. Do not feel bad. I was one of the caregivers for both my grandparents in the end of their lives, and though they did not live with me and it wasn't a 24/7 thing, caring for a parent/grandparent/what have you is not all roses, even if you do appreciate your time with them and that you still have them. It is very stressful, very trying, and tests everything in you. Having someone living with you 24/7 - particularly one who seems to be a tad ungrateful - is even worse, I imagine.

 

I agree with most of the (respectful) opinions already shared - consider counseling, perhaps with your mother. If things have reached the point of no return, you may unfortunately have to put it all out on the table and give an ultimatum. At the end of the day, you do have a family - a husband and children - to worry about. It's important to ensure your relationship with your family does not suffer. Make sure you communicate with your husband - these kind of life changes can be a huge stressor on marriages.

 

Best of luck to you and all of your loved ones. XOXO

Thank u so much for your great advice. I appreciate that. 

I-130 for mom

04/09/2016- filled i-130 for my mom. Mailed to Chicago.

04/11/16. - package delivered.

04/13/16. - NOA1

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