What if my fiance makes more than me regarding the affidavid of support

[old-fella 109]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_blackmail

This is a big thing in the Asian community. Female use it all the time to get their way around. 

 

remember every single call you make is likely to be recorded and a note is made in your case file. 

 

I wouldn't marry someone i don't love. I wouldnot travel this far for person i don't love. Marry if you love. Marriages are settled in heaven but celebrated on Earth

Edited June 18, 2018 by old-fella

[Orangesapples 1,954]

22 hours ago, stevebzzzzz said:

Thank you...I know...I am an emotional wreck.  I've already called the embassy twice to cancel the application...but then within hours I call them back and told them to cancel the cancellation, and that we were just having a fight lol

I feel bad for your fiancée. She deserves better. Let her go and find someone who loves her

[j&ana 363]

Quote

The sad thing is, is that I really don't love her nor am I attracted to her.  But I ask myself, isn't it better to have someone in my life than to have nobody?

 I think it is better to have no one then to have someone, that you do not love and are not attracted too. you are still going to be lonely but instead of being lonely alone you are going to be lonely with someone that you do not love.

Do you not think she has feelings too, that She cannot tell that you do not love her, Maybe she knows already and just want a green card

I just think that it sound like you are doing the K-1 visa for all the wrong reasons

Already asking about a divorce that really seems strange to me?

 

 

[JFH 12,190]

There are several issues here. You should not proceed with this if you do not love her. You are not her ticket to a better life. It will cause you more emotional pain than it is worth. I was in a loveless marriage before I met my current husband (my first husband was from the U.K., like me) and it was awful. The resentment grew daily and it was very unhealthy. We didn’t hate each other - we just didn’t love each other but it started to resemble hate over time. Staying in a situation that makes you so unhappy is the worst thing you can do to your mental health. 

 

And there is the financial situation. Have you considered working from home? It looks like you are pretty good with a computer and you can use a phone (you mentioned calling the embassy). Companies like Amazon use homeworkers for the customer online chat support feature. You might have seen the chat box appear on the site whilst you browse, asking if you need any help. If you can use this forum and can chat online with his friend overseas then you could probably do that job. It might help you to feel more confident about yourself that you don’t feel the need to bring someone you don’t love into your home just because you are scared of being lonely. 

Edited June 23, 2018 by JFH

[stevebzzzzz 0]

8 minutes ago, JFH said:

There are several issues here. You should not proceed with this if you do not love her. You are not her ticket to a better life. It will cause you more emotional pain than it is worth. I was in a loveless marriage before I met my current husband (my first husband was from the U.K., like me) and it was awful. The resentment grew daily and it was very unhealthy. We didn’t hate each other - we just didn’t love each other but it started to resemble hate over time. Staying in a situation that makes you so unhappy is the worst thing you can do to your mental health. 

 

And there is the financial situation. Have you considered working from home? It looks like you are pretty good with a computer and you can use a phone (you mentioned calling the embassy). Companies like Amazon use homeworkers for the customer online chat support feature. You might have seen the chat box appear on the site whilst you browse, asking if you need any help. If you can use this forum and can chat online with his friend overseas then you could probably do that job. It might help you to feel more confident about yourself that you don’t feel the need to bring someone you don’t love into your home just because you are scared of being lonely. 

Wow,

 

Thanks for the great advice, and I think that you are totally correct.  The situation with your first husband, sounds exactly how it would end up with me and my current fiance (A loveless marriage, that would lead into growing resentment).  I can totally see that as happening.  And on the other hand, I can totally see it as changing my life around.  I am so conflicted.  You see, I am bi-polar, and spend most of my time depressed and in bed.  Having her around, and at least in the beginning having to take care of all of her needs, when I can barely take care of mine, could cause extreme resentment on my side.  On the other hand, she may be just the motivation and responsibility  that I need to  make me get out of bed.  In fact, she may drag me out of bed, and throw my butt into the shower every morning (which would be a good thing lol). Also, we have known each other for 12 years, she knows all about my illness, and knows all of my deepest/darkest secrets.Thus the conflicting thoughts. 

 

As far as the work from home idea, that Is and excellent idea.  I will follow up on that, and see if I can pick something up.

 

Thank you JFH, and everyone else for your feedback

 

 

[natskyluv 1]

There are reasons why im going through financial problems at this time. But I dont have to get into details because it's nobody's business. Money problems can be solved but mental health issues? I doubt. Anyway now we all know what kind of a person I'm going to marry. If i would be given a Visa then great, if not then everybody gets on with his her life. It's not the be all and end all of my existence. The reason why I just want to go through the interview is because we both have invested a lot of time from me, and money and time from him. So might as well go through the last leg of the whole process. But one thing's for sure. When i get there and would be able to start working, i would be earning more than him. And this is what the whole brouhaha is all about . 

[natskyluv 1]

5 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

That doesn't sound great... 

I hope the mods keep the thread, it's quite entertaining and it's rare to see both sides here. Of course, I'm sure it will be locked soon. 

You see this is what he likes when everybody is reacting to his post ..so he can make himself busy and not get bored and depressed all the time. Well if this really helps him beat depression even for just a few hours of his day then lets bring it on

[natskyluv 1]

13 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

it's rare to see both sides here. Of course, I'm sure it will be locked soon. 

Yes it's really rare because im smarter than he thought. I was able to find his post in this site. I always outsmart him!

[natskyluv 1]

And he is just sooo damn lucky to have a girl who loves him because apart from his mental health issues,  he is short fat and bald and nobody else would want him!

Edited June 23, 2018 by natskyluv
incomplete

[Orangesapples 1,954]

So much love and mutual respect between you two 

Edited June 23, 2018 by Orangesapples

[stevebzzzzz 0]

5 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

So much love and mutual respect between you two 

Pretty much the only thing that we have in common is that we both like to eat, and we both like to watch movies.  I need someone to stay home with me all day and watch movies...

That will be her Job...

[Ontarkie 14,234]

~~This thread has run it's coarse. A number of inappropriate posts removed. Thread locked and is not to be restarted.~~