cultural differences

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

On ‎6‎/‎14‎/‎2018 at 2:54 PM, Cyberfx1024 said:

This is the biggest issue with my wife is the accents. Since we moved to the South this year she always laughs about people have accents and comments to me about it. If you have a accent over the phone then she can't really understand you at all but she will just keep saying ok ok ok just to get off the phone.

 

Noticed you are in NC - we're SC, and totally relatable to this.  My husband is fluent in English and lived on the west coast a few years back (most Swedes speak English fluently since they watch American television growing up). But the southern accent was not something he was used to. I have a few relatives who are VERY COUNTRY in their speaking, and he sometimes can't understand them.

 

Another thing is general American, or southern, slang. Once I used the phrase "play it by ear" and his response was something like "do what to your ear?!". Our southern phrases are still comical between us and he's always learning a new one, lol. The latest is when the "devil beats its wife with a fryin' pan". We've had a lot of that lately   I had to teach him all the appropriate tones and use of "bless your heart", which is a multipurpose vocabulary tool.

 

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

1 minute ago, Paul & Mallory said:

Noticed you are in NC - we're SC, and totally relatable to this.  My husband is fluent in English and lived on the west coast a few years back (most Swedes speak English fluently since they watch American television growing up). But the southern accent was not something he was used to. I have a few relatives who are VERY COUNTRY in their speaking, and he sometimes can't understand them.

 

Another thing is general American, or southern, slang. Once I used the phrase "play it by ear" and his response was something like "do what to your ear?!". Our southern phrases are still comical between us and he's always learning a new one, lol. The latest is when the "devil beats its wife with a fryin' pan". We've had a lot of that lately   I had to teach him all the appropriate tones and use of "bless your heart", which is a multipurpose vocabulary tool.

 

Same thing as well. When my wife first got to the USA she couldn't understand my father for awhile and he couldn't really understand her, but they got along good.

[Little_Vixen 1,869]

Just now, Cyberfx1024 said:

Same thing as well. When my wife first got to the USA she couldn't understand my father for awhile and he couldn't really understand her, but they got along good.

I'm kind of running into the opposite. My English is near perfect and for some reason I picked up his slang and accent easily too. Often people don't even realize I'm not American and they can react very offended when I make a cultural faux pass. If your English is not perfect or you have a discernible accent most people will forgive you, I'm apparently just rude.

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

2 minutes ago, Little_Vixen said:

I'm kind of running into the opposite. My English is near perfect and for some reason I picked up his slang and accent easily too. Often people don't even realize I'm not American and they can react very offended when I make a cultural faux pass. If your English is not perfect or you have a discernible accent most people will forgive you, I'm apparently just rude.

I suppose it's a catch-22 either way, lol. My husband is trying to incorporate more southern vocabulary, but his accent is hanging on for dear life. "Y'all" doesn't flow off the tongue as well with a Swedish accent

[ronniebreda 120]

1 minute ago, Little_Vixen said:

I'm kind of running into the opposite. My English is near perfect and for some reason I picked up his slang and accent easily too. Often people don't even realize I'm not American and they can react very offended when I make a cultural faux pass. If your English is not perfect or you have a discernible accent most people will forgive you, I'm apparently just rude.

Wow! No matter what you can't make people happy. My husband has a very thick accent and many times people cannot understand him.  I think it is 50/50 that people act fine and just ask for him to repeat himself, but the other 50% of the time, people act like they are put out that he has an accent that they can't understand. We have both learned to just ignore it, but it really got on my nerves when he first moved here. 

[TBoneTX 45,291]

American English is rife with dialects, slang, and casual or sloppy usage and pronunciation.

"I'm not from here.  Can you please say that again for me, more slowly?" is one good option.

[Orangesapples 1,954]

50 minutes ago, Paul & Mallory said:

Unfortunately, this is entirely true, even in the states. I have actual family members who have sort of written me off because I married someone who isn't white and isn't American (not sure if it's one or the other, or both). We get looks in public. Nothing has been too blatantly racist; the only time was an old man made a comment to his wife once in a store, something like "Why is she with him?" with a nasty face. My husband (we weren't married yet at the time) said the wife responded to him with, "because he's cute", which I appreciated.

 

You definitely have to have a thick skin. I get "why did you go for someone from the other side of the world/another country?" a lot.

It must be the race, also where in the US you are. My husband and I look the same race (I say look because race is just a social construct), I'm obviously foreign though because of my name and accent and nobody has ever given us (or me) any hard time whatsoever. But we also live in Southern California, I haven't noticed many prejudiced people here in general, of course they still exist but they certainly haven't done or said anything to me or about me that will make me feel excluded. 

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

34 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

It must be the race, also where in the US you are. My husband and I look the same race (I say look because race is just a social construct), I'm obviously foreign though because of my name and accent and nobody has ever given us (or me) any hard time whatsoever. But we also live in Southern California, I haven't noticed many prejudiced people here in general, of course they still exist but they certainly haven't done or said anything to me or about me that will make me feel excluded. 

I've never been to the west coast, but I live in the south and have visited the north. My experience/observation is, people are much more judgmental in the south, at least versus the north. I agree; most likely the race, because unless he opens his mouth to speak, you can't assume he isn't American. He's Asian (Filipino), which isn't entirely uncommon in the area I live in. But I suppose the mixed race between us is.

 

All of the negative experiences we've encountered have also been older generations, so it's just old southerners who are stuck in their time and mindsets and refuse to accept diversity.  lol

 

On the flipside - Sweden is the complete opposite. Zero negativity or prejudice whenever we're there together as a couple, and considering he was a minority growing up there during his childhood, he's not experienced racism on the level that a lot of America does. Which proves your point, which I agree with, that a lot of it is also geographical.

[Abies 1,713]

On 6/27/2018 at 4:38 PM, Orangesapples said:

It must be the race, also where in the US you are. My husband and I look the same race (I say look because race is just a social construct), I'm obviously foreign though because of my name and accent and nobody has ever given us (or me) any hard time whatsoever. But we also live in Southern California, I haven't noticed many prejudiced people here in general, of course they still exist but they certainly haven't done or said anything to me or about me that will make me feel excluded. 

Where in Southern California? 

[Orangesapples 1,954]

2 hours ago, Abies said:

Where in Southern California? 

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