cultural differences

[usmsbow 800]

35 minutes ago, NuestraUnion said:

 

 

You and you wife never passed by a bad area of town when you were on your way to somewhere.  I've been to DC plenty of times and I know that the way it is laid out you can be driving along the same street and pass million dollar houses and 15 minutes later you are passing what looks like the slums without ever having to make a turn.

Huh? The only comment I made about DC was the lack of sky scrapers and its metro system. It is also where I was living when she moved here. I was in a neighborhood where one block was those million dollar homes and the next was a big public housing project. 

 

When we visited my family in Oakland, a city some consider the Baltimore of the West Coast, my wife thought its worst neighborhoods were nice. She's revised her opinion since we moved here about 2 years ago now. 

[ImagineMe 35]

5 hours ago, missileman said:

My wife didn't realize that income and property taxes are so high here......lol........

Yeah Ive always had an issue with trying to tell foreign women that Im not rich in savings or anything. I live comfortably, but only because Ive often lived on my own. 40% of my current income goes to taxes and my 401k. Then add lifes bills, and unexpected issues like dentists, doctors, and vehicle breakdowns to that and there isnt a ton of savings.  Its going to be quite the wakeup call for many people coming to America. I give them credit though, cause I dont know if I could just leave everything and move to a foreign country that doesnt speak English.

[SalishSea 17,444]

Actually, the opposite!  Alec is from New Zealand, so I've had to try to convince him that the US is worth leaving NZ for .   His first visit here was in 1991, with five more visits since 2015, so he does have a realistic view of at least the West Coast.

[Ontarkie 14,128]

~~Moved to Moving Here and Your New life, from IR1/CR1 P&P - the OP is trying to prepare her husband for his lie in the US~~

[Enigma11561 336]

My wife had a hard time getting her head wrapped around the massive number of people in NYC. She could not believe that there are more people in NYC than her entire country and her country just about fits into the boundaries for New York State.

[Mary Lou 681]

My husband was ill prepared for what life is like here, not from my lack of trying to explain to him. He couldn't understand why he didn't get all of his check, just the cost of things in general. Anything he knew about the USA, his friends who had just visited here told him. Of course i knew nothing lol  He told me after his first month here he felt more poor in the USA then in his country. Not to mention the cultural differences, but he does like that people drive much better here ha ha 

[Nuj 28]

23 minutes ago, Mary Lou said:

My husband was ill prepared for what life is like here, not from my lack of trying to explain to him. He couldn't understand why he didn't get all of his check, just the cost of things in general. Anything he knew about the USA, his friends who had just visited here told him. Of course i knew nothing lol  He told me after his first month here he felt more poor in the USA then in his country. Not to mention the cultural differences, but he does like that people drive much better here ha ha 

It's hard to prepare them the only way they fully understand is when they r here

[Mary Lou 681]

6 minutes ago, Nuj said:

It's hard to prepare them the only way they fully understand is when they r here

Exactly

[Scandi 4,102]

I knew USA is way worse than my home country in many ways, so no, it was never an issue. Imo, everyone should do research about the place they're moving to, to prevent any major surprises if possible. Especially if they never even visited the country before.

[CJKylie 161]

17 minutes ago, Scandi said:

I knew USA is way worse than my home country in many ways, so no, it was never an issue. Imo, everyone should do research about the place they're moving to, to prevent any major surprises if possible. Especially if they never even visited the country before.

Same! It always makes me laugh when people say the USA is the best country in the world...it’s far from it, but I do enjoy living here.

[Christy&J 837]

1 hour ago, Scandi said:

I knew USA is way worse than my home country in many ways, so no, it was never an issue. Imo, everyone should do research about the place they're moving to, to prevent any major surprises if possible. Especially if they never even visited the country before.

 

1 hour ago, CJKylie said:

Same! It always makes me laugh when people say the USA is the best country in the world...it’s far from it, but I do enjoy living here.

after read all the comments here, tears in my eyes when I read your comments !

there are people that have same opinion like me too !!!!

 

OH ! maybe because you are from EU too...however yes, only because of  "Love "  I make compromise and move to US, in hope to go back ASAP !

[mrmvkjts 459]

I am from Europe, and have a pretty nice life here! I enjoy a nice paid job, health care and I know that even if I would lose my job, I‘d be okay! And yet we‘re gonna move back to the US for some benefits that my home country can not give me/us but it also means I have to cut back on certain things I liked here in Europe!

I have been to the US before, lived there for quite a while and I know it‘s not....“the best country in the world“ 

But you gotta do some research on te place you‘re moving to, be open for positives and negatives and just..never expect just „the best“ 

I also guess everybody has preferences and just because I like and enjoy something in one country, it doesn‘t mean everybody else will love this perticular thing, you know!

 

But nowadays with the internet and all, I would definitely say....researxh as much as possible, especially if you‘ve never been tk a place

 

I hope all that makes sense, feel like it‘s all over the place lol

[EmilyW 1,309]

I'm from Australia and I much prefer living in the US.  But that's because I prefer to live in a place where individual effort is rewarded and where I'm not taxed up the wazoo.  The US rewards me for my effort.  It's a nice change.

[Nuj 28]

11 minutes ago, EmilyW said:

I'm from Australia and I much prefer living in the US.  But that's because I prefer to live in a place where individual effort is rewarded and where I'm not taxed up the wazoo.  The US rewards me for my effort.  It's a nice change.

That's true... I don't think any of us would want to live else where. This discussion is about how difficult it is for two people from two different cultures to come together and start a life. Thanks for you input!

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

Everyone has different perceptions, and it even varies within the states. My husband lived in the states before for his job at the time on the west coast. I live in the south on the east coast - VERY different, lol. He says sometimes it feels like he's completely brand new, that he hasn't lived over here before. So even if a non-USC visits a certain area of the states... if they live in/move to another area, it can still be a bit of a culture shock.

 

I think that's one (of many) reasons someone should spend a lot of time visiting before embarking on the fiancé or spousal visa to essentially move here. And really try to have a realistic perspective and not a "vacation state of mind".