Violence Against Women Act and me

[russ 1]

If it wasn' clear, that was her money, not mine

No money tree, just a lot of work.

Russ, I've gotta say I envy you because the way you talk on here you must be a multi-millionaire! Either that or you have a tree in your back yard that literally grows money. You've had girlfriends that spend more on shoes in a year then many guys entire salary for a year! You mentioned spending more on entertainment for one day then I (and probably many others) would spend in an entire year! I hope poor chaps like me can still manage to keep a Russian wife happy too.

[Satellite 1]

they do not adequately understand the cost of living differences between te FSU and the US. Learning what it costs for heating, electricity, gasoline and groceries is a big learning experience and telephone calls to the FSU are also one of the sobering items that FSU women must come to terms with. Using the LD Post telephone services has saved us allot of money.

Agree!

Except the phone call thing. Ask your ladies how much it costs to call from Russia to the US? Why do they turn around and think it is so much cheaper to do so from here, unless you "gave it away" by doing it all the time when you were apart Generally everything is much more expensive here despite our larger salaries. But many raw food items, telecommunications, and electronics are cheaper here. But rent, gasoline, and utilities really screw it up.

[MaxxumUSA 0]

Satellite and AK...

Your comments are received and considered.

It is nice to have other's perspective.

I'm more worried about my NOA2 than how much money she needs once she gets here. But she will need something and I am prepared to deal with it.

My point being that I made initially is that the original poster of this thread did not appear to be financially prepared.

Either that or he is controlling and does not want his wife to have freedoms. She is a freak for cutting herself of course but the whole story seems odd.

Again... Why was there a 4 month delay between her visa and her POE?

[JamesT 12]

I think one thing that's very important in a thread like this where economic issues are discussed is you have to be comparing apples to apples. In other words it doesn't make sense for average American guys who make $30K, $40K, $50K, and $60K per year to be discussing family economics with lawyers, doctors, computer programmers, entrepeneurs, etc who are make $250K, $400K, $500K, or $1M+ per year... obviously there are huge differences in family economics and budgeting in these instances!

[akdiver 3]

I think one thing that's very important in a thread like this where economic issues are discussed is you have to be comparing apples to apples. In other words it doesn't make sense for average American guys who make $30K, $40K, $50K, and $60K per year to be discussing family economics with lawyers, doctors, computer programmers, entrepeneurs, etc who are make $250K, $400K, $500K, or $1M+ per year... obviously there are huge differences in family economics and budgeting in these instances!

Well, maybe. But maybe you make too much of it too. I'm a software developer, but I am closer to that first group than the second. No $250K here for sure (:

Also, $100K (for example) may SOUND like a lot, but it gets whittled down pretty fast. First of all, whack out $25K for income tax, and another $15K (more or less) for FICA taxes. That plops you down to $60K real fast. Figure maybe $5K in random business expenses, and you're down to $55K (yeah, deductions, but this is a rough cut). Now in my case, throw in about $6K in medical expenses, down to $49K. Throw in about $11K in tuition, and down to $38K. Throw in another $18K for payments on a very modest (below the local median cost) house, and you're down to $20K. Add in two payments for two ordinary cars (one of which is a real cheap one) of $9600 and you're down to basically $10K. Now true, I will get tax money back through various means, so put it back up to $15K. However, you can reduce it again, $5K to a Roth IRA, down to $10K, and $5K into another retirement plan, which leaves me with a grand total of $5,000 to pay for all of my daily expenses (food, gas, clothing, utilities, whatever). Fortunately, I can add to that the after-tax, after-paycheck deductions wages of my wife, which comes to around $20K, so really, we have $25K, however, I take another $5K out of that for wife's Roth IRA, and we're at a grand total of $20K left over, for utilities, clothes, entertainment, fun, car insurance, etc. Utilities and car insurance consume about $7000 of that, which now leaves $13000 for food, gas, clothes, entertainment, and any expenses - and we still haven't made any non-retirement savings yet, but we can forget about that for now. In any event, it leaves around $1000/month for food, gas, and whatever else. Now you can see why I think $800/month, or even $00/month ($100/week) to just piss away on shoes or whatever is pretty extreme (:

Now, I'm not claiming to be poor by any means, and I'm glad we have what we do, and some ability to save for retirement (lord knows we're not getting anything about of social security). However, no one is living like a king over here that's for sure. (:

Also remember that in my case, I am on a 2-year contract, and once that contract is up, I have to go find a job somewhere. When I do, it is likely to be some crappy job that pays $50K/year or whatever. I have no job security whatsoever, and I also have to hope that my client pays his invoices, or then I am really screwed.

Cheers!

AKDiver

Edited May 10, 2007 by akdiver

[Nancy2015 2]

A past girlfriend of mine spent about $30,000 on shoes in one year. Most of them she never wore, even once. She just felt good buying them. As a man, this was hard for me to understand. (She could afford them, but still...)

I fell off my chair. I'm a woman, and I don't understand that. I mean, how many pairs of shoes can a person possibly need?? I think I have three or four, and a pair of sneakers for jogging. That's it. Sure, everybody's different, but that's just so much money... Well, there are billionaires in this world, I know, but gosh, I'm really shocked.

[Nancy2015 2]

Also remember that in my case, I am on a 2-year contract, and once that contract is up, I have to go find a job somewhere. When I do, it is likely to be some crappy job that pays $50K/year or whatever.

I'll take this job, akdiver Let me know when it's up for grabs. I will take $50K

You folks are spoiled "Crappy $50K" My hubster was making $30K a year at one point, and he thought it was a lot of money, cause it's the most he's ever made.

[Turboguy 6]

Mine usually travels with $ 400-500 on her.

Well, to each their own, and I realize that this is just my opinion - but walking around with that kind of cash in your pocket for no particular reason is just foolish. Robbery, loss, spree spending, you name it. It reminds me of the "natives" up here walking around with a pocket full of their free $100 bills (from their "native corp dividends").

For what it's worth, my wife doesn't get $800, $400, or even $100/month to just piss away (neither do I), but we do put $400/month each into a Roth IRA. For monthly spending, we both sit down every month, see what we spent, where we spent it, why, and how we can cut spending and save more, or at a minimum, target our spending into the most useful categories of spending. If anyone is really interested, I can send some blank spreadsheet templates to help with family budgeting.

AK, On some of the trips I made to Russia I started off with 5 grand on me. I have rarely gone without at least three grand on me. I never had a bit of problem. I do break it up and hide some. My favorite thing is called a sock safe that I bought at a travel store. I would not feel comfortable traveling with little cash.

There was a comment "Don't they budget in Russia" Sure they do. If they make $ 200 a month they spend $ 200 a month. If they make $ 300 they spend it. etc.

I don't worry about my gal that way. She is very conservative about spending money. When I made my first trip to meet her I misjudged the weather I would encounter in Siberia. I took a medium weight jacket. She refused to dress warm because she said she would not allow herself to be comfortalbe while I was cold. Well, she got sick. We spent one day in her apartment with a blanket wrapped around her and me just holding her with her head on my shoulder as she drank honey and green tea. My last day I said I could come there, she said as long as felt a little better she would come to my place. I told her it would be ok, but I wanted her to take a taxi and not the trolley and bus she usually used. No matter how much I argued she refused to spend my money on the taxi. She likes to eat in Buffet's. Everything she bought on our trips to Egypt and Thailand would not top $ 100.00

I am the same way. I spend nothing on myself. Maybe $ 200.00 a year for clothes. Nothing for entertainment except some paperbacks. etc. She and I are pretty compatable. We are both cheapskates. Actually I don't mind spending money on her and she doesn't mind spending money on me and I don't mind spending it for the two of us but don't do it for just myself.

[Turboguy 6]

Personally I think it is more important how you manage your money than how much you make. I used to know a brain surgeon who was married to a heart surgeon. They lived in a 2 million dollar house (10 years ago and where houses are cheap). Their kitchen had three refrigerators, and three stoves, their exercise room was larger than some peoples house. They had a fountain etc. All they ever did was complain about money.

For me, I make a very average income but I also have no debts and can do pretty much whatever I want and not worry about money. When you have no payments except utilities and $ 1400 a year in Real Estate Taxes you can do about what you want.

[russ 1]

I agree - I am a big fan of having no debt.

Arguments about money rarely have anything to do with how much you make. It is mostly about control.

For me, I make a very average income but I also have no debts and can do pretty much whatever I want and not worry about money. When you have no payments except utilities and $ 1400 a year in Real Estate Taxes you can do about what you want.

[akdiver 3]

You folks are spoiled "Crappy $50K"

It's pretty crappy if you go to school for 6 or 7 years, and end up with $90K in student loans in the process. (:

Cheers!

AKDiver

[akdiver 3]

They lived in a 2 million dollar house....All they ever did was complain about money.

Yeah, I can see why. If I lived in a $2M house, I would complain a lot about money too. The taxes, utilities, and upkeep on such a house is outrageous.

I agree - I am a big fan of having no debt.

Amen.

Arguments about money rarely have anything to do with how much you make. It is mostly about control.

Exactly.

$ 1400 a year in Real Estate Taxes you can do about what you want.

Here, even a toolshed carries more than $1400/year in taxes. (:

Cheers!

AKDiver

Edited May 11, 2007 by akdiver

[akdiver 3]

You folks are spoiled "Crappy $50K"

Well, it's all relative you know. For some people, $50K is like "my ship has come in". In my case, my first job out of school paid $40K, and that was in 1997. To drop back to that kind of pay 11 years later would definitely qualify as crappy. Think about it this way - just think if you were now making whatever you were making 11 years ago. (:

Cheers!

AKDiver

[Turboguy 6]

Personally I think we just adjust our expenses to match our income and really end up with little more to show for it.

Yes, that couple with the 2 million dollar house had a water bill of $ 600.00 a month. Most people in Russia live on less than what their water bill was.

[russ 1]

I spent an afternoon taking pictures of them to tape to the boxes.

I haven't bought a pair of shoes for myself in a year.

I fell off my chair. I'm a woman, and I don't understand that. I mean, how many pairs of shoes can a person possibly need?? I think I have three or four, and a pair of sneakers for jogging. That's it. Sure, everybody's different, but