Frustrated

[~Nini~ 2]

*sigh*

A few days ago, while I was still in PA visiting my fiance, he surprised me with a formal proposal and an engagement ring. That was a bit of a shock since we had decided to get married with very little fanfare. While his family was aware of our plans, as soon as they found out about our formal engagement they were absolutely thrilled.

I got back to Vancouver on Sunday and immediately broke the news to my family as fast as I could reach them. My family has been aware that we were considering marriage, so it wasn't completely out of the blue. And... it's been really tough ever since.

Over the past few days now, in between half-hearted congratulations, I've been receiving constant lectures about how it's too soon for me to get married, why can't I wait another year, and how I should concentrate on school so I can get a degree and get a better job. My argument was that, I truly felt that Bee was the right person for me to spend the rest of my life with, that marriage didn't necessarily entail that I wasn't going to put my life on hold, and that I wasn't going to spend another year in a place which is absolute misery compared to where he was. To boot, I've been in post-secondary education for 5 years already, and I'm about to receive my Associate's Degree after racking up some debt in the process. I really find it pointless to continue school when I have been struggling to determine a career path, and I'd rather work until I do find something that truly interests me.

Regardless of that whole babble, I'm just sad that my family is looking at this like it's the apocalypse, especially compared to the amazing reception we had from his family. All I wanted was some form of support and congratulations.

[Emancipation 2]

So sorry to hear about your family's lack of enthusiasm.. it is rough when you want to celebrate and you have all the joy in the world and others don't.

For me, my family & friends kept thinking about what they were loosing in me coming to the US that it seemed to overshadow the joy & excitement I was feeling. It was hard for me to really express my joy when their eyes were filled with tears. It's a tough tough tug of war.. I empathize..

And for what it's worth - I'm EXSTATIC for you guys!!

[Emancipation 2]

I should add that now that I'm moved, settled and EXTREMELY happy.. they are starting to really really be joyful for me. But the previous 4-5 months not so much.. They were too wrapped up in the change it was making to them... they are totally happy to see me so content now though! It might take time, but I'm sure they will come around..

[vnoe 0]

I'm sure it will all come right in the end. Your parents will ALWAYS be your parents and always worry about you and tell you what is best for you. I'm almost 40 and my mom is still being my mommy!!! I love it and I hate it. But be certain your family loves you and in the end they will see the choice that you make is the one that makes YOU happy.

Congrats on the engagement!!!!!!!!!!

[TracyTN 237]

Just out of curiousity, what reason had you given your parents for why you were moving to the US? Or did they not know that either?

[~Nini~ 2]

Thanks for the comments, I really appreciate them and they've made me feel better.

TracyTN - My mom was aware, even before I was engaged, that I was looking to move away. I really wanted to work elsewhere (either abroad or in the States) for experience and a bit of change. While Vancouver is a really lovely city, I don't think there's much opportunity here for someone with my credentials (and trust me, I've tried! ) - and then I met Bee.

To add, I love my family and we do try to get along with each other, but it's situations like these where it's painfully obvious that I'm the black sheep in the group.

[lynamon 0]

My family was less than enthused ... you can pick your friends .. ya can't pick your family .. just remember that this too shall pass and before long they will come to see the light

[jg_am 0]

Hang in there Nini, and congrats. Do you think your family raises objections because of school because they don't want to "lose" you but don't want to say that? We'll welcome you to PA.

Edited May 8, 2007 by jg_am

[DeadPoolX 9]

Congrats on your engagement!

When I told my family about my engagement, they were less than enthused as well. Oh well. Some families just have different priorities, I suppose...

[Flames9_RN 358]

Maybe they just feel sad that ur not going to be around as much!! Congrats on the engagement

[Reba 2]

My family and friends were pretty much the same way. When we first got engaged, the plan was for my husband to move to Canada, then that didn't work out, and I told everyone I was moving to the States, and they were all pretty upset by it. They still are. Some of them still whine "we never get to see you" and yet they never come to visit, so its half their own dang fault now isn't it?

They'll get over it.

Congratulations!

[Tinker 0]

I just got home from visiting my honey. Went over to my mom's for Mother's day and no one wanted to hear anything about how my visit was, NOTHING. They didn't even want to see the pictures of how the house was coming along. Felt totally pushed out.

BUT now I read this and realize that this whole thing is normal

S'alright, his family and friends are being wonderful with me!

[MissStacey 1]

When me and Mel decided to up and get married. I phoned my mom and told her- she said "Ok, phone me and let me know if you actually go through with it."

[~Nini~ 2]

I'm so glad there are other people who've been in the same boat I am right now, hehe. I'm trying not to think about it too much, and concentrate on my Packet 3 getting mailed to me - if I think hard enough, it'll come, right?

Tinker - sorry to hear that! If you want, you can tell us about your visit. That's what we're here for!

[Tinker 0]

LOL

Just worked on the house, um we did hook the water up to the house, but only after the pipe blew, I went to turn the water on at the road, he was standing in front of the connection and got blasted, he's alright though. Red clay and soaked

Edited May 14, 2007 by Tinker