Fiancee just got Denied

[Umka36 781]

7 hours ago, BnK said:

Ooohhh gosh. Maybe we were interviewed by the same CO. I had my interview last Thursday. The Filipina CO at pre-screening with tattoos on her arms was actually a little strict and she looked serious with her job but I find her very professional so I was expecting the same if not better for my last interview. 

 

Then this American CO - he started asking me if I was intentionally looking for an American man to marry, then he went on to ask why he only visited once. I was ok with those questions and I answered each one but his follow up questions made me feel so deflated. I felt like I was judged. He seemed like he wants to educate me or something and was doubting my answers. He even asked me who reached out to who first and what the first message was. Glad I printed our first convos and brought it with me so I read it for him.

My fiance and I are actually never married with a 3-yr gap and in  our early 30's. With the way he sounded during my interview I really thought I would get refused. I just felt like I want to melt. I'm glad he seemed to have calmed down after he asked me what I do for a living. Then he asked for our pictures together (I printed 31 pics in 4R). He looked at each picture intently while I told him that we had different batches of dinner dates with my best friends from college, colleagues and family. He then gave my pictures back and for the first time, sounded friendly and handed me the IMBRA pamphlet. He then said congratulations and that we got approved.

I should be happy, right? I am happy but on my way to the hotel until late in the afternoon I just felt deflated. I didn't have the energy to eat my breakfast. I know he was just doing his job and it may be his style or strategy to catch fraud but for people who has genuine relationship, it really was stressful.

That's why it probably would be nice to have the US fiancé there for moral/direct support during the interview process if at all possible. My wife spoke minimal English, and I imagine she would have been grilled.

[BnK 367]

11 hours ago, Umka36 said:

That's why it probably would be nice to have the US fiancé there for moral/direct support during the interview process if at all possible. My wife spoke minimal English, and I imagine she would have been grilled.

Agree. The possibility of the CO interpreting the answer differently is high so its best if you are there.

 

I talked to one person who also applied for a visa a few days before me (he was interviewed by a female CO). He said there was one CO who seemed to be very aggressive and scary (he can overhear the conversation with the applicant). The way he described him fits the one who interviewed me. Well I guess he is passionate with that he does and that's good. I'm just glad that even if he grilled me, he ended up smiling and congratulating me. <3 

[JFH 12,190]

On 6/6/2018 at 11:06 AM, WokTheDog said:

The only thing I am hesitating with on the CR-1 Visa, is if she gets denied again.   I don't want to live in the Philippines, so what would my plan be then?  Most of my fiancee's friends and some family have moved to other countries, so she really wants to move.  She also wants better opportunities for her daughter, which I can understand.

I’m beginning to guess why she was denied. 

 

A K-1 visa isn’t about “better opportunities”. It’s for people who want to build a life together. It’s for love. 

 

I asked how old the child was and now we know the child is 4. OP said the child cried and cried because of the denial. The child barely knows him. She hasn’t seen him face to face in a year - probably doesn’t even remember that visit - and wouldn’t understand what a visa denial is. I can’t imagine a child so young being so upset at not being able to live with someone she barely knows. 

 

Does the fiancee have other family members already here? A sister, maybe? Is the child upset because she was “promised” a life in America? Perhaps with other family members? 

 

OP, do you really think her feelings are genuine? 

 

I don’t see why you won’t consider a move to the Philippines. If you want to be with her more than anything else in the world then location is irrelevant. 

[payxibka 10,045]

USEM Manila is a very forgiving place to interview but in the end, they usually get it right.

[debbiedoo 2,339]

On 6/6/2018 at 5:04 PM, WokTheDog said:

I have a job here in the USA.   I am not retiring anytime soon, so moving there isn't an option for me.   

 

This is a forum, not an interview, of course it would be different.    

I dont want to move to Canada either but if I had to, to be with my fiance .... you bet your bottom dollar I would.

 

It is all about priorities and how much you love each other and truly want to be together. There is always a way, it just might not be the most ideal way. If you dno't love her enough to move to the Phillipines (if that is what is needed), then do you really love her enough to marry and commit the rest of your life to her? Food for thought.

 

 

[Little_Vixen 1,869]

44 minutes ago, debbiedoo said:

I dont want to move to Canada either but if I had to, to be with my fiance .... you bet your bottom dollar I would.

 

It is all about priorities and how much you love each other and truly want to be together. There is always a way, it just might not be the most ideal way. If you dno't love her enough to move to the Phillipines (if that is what is needed), then do you really love her enough to marry and commit the rest of your life to her? Food for thought.

 

 

I wish life were that easy. If all our options were denied (knock on wood) we'd be devastated. He is in no position to move to my country because he has kids that need him. Their mother is deceased and he is all they have. I can't ask him to uproot two teenagers and drag them to a country they never heard of before where everyone speaks a language they don't know and expect them to do well. Or leave his other two who are already out of the house but still rely on dad when they get in a tight spot. It's hard enough being a stepmom to older children. Imagine the resentment and what that would do to the relationship between him, me and the children.

I don't know OP but I think we should be a bit more careful judging when we don't know the whole story. 

[debbiedoo 2,339]

Just now, Little_Vixen said:

I wish life were that easy. If all our options were denied (knock on wood) we'd be devastated. He is in no position to move to my country because he has kids that need him. Their mother is deceased and he is all they have. I can't ask him to uproot two teenagers and drag them to a country they never heard of before where everyone speaks a language they don't know and expect them to do well. Or leave his other two who are already out of the house but still rely on dad when they get in a tight spot. It's hard enough being a stepmom to older children. Imagine the resentment and what that would do to the relationship between him, me and the children.

I don't know OP but I think we should be a bit more careful judging when we don't know the whole story. 

I guess the 4 kids my fiance and I have between us don't factor in :/   ages 21,20,19, and 12.

 

My statement stands. Where there is a will there is a way. Even if it means you CHOOSE to wait years.

[JFH 12,190]

10 minutes ago, Little_Vixen said:

 I can't ask him to uproot two teenagers and drag them to a country they never heard of before where everyone speaks a language they don't know and expect them to do well.

But that’s exactly what the OP’s fiancee is doing with a 4-year-old. Or planning to do. So it makes sense for the OP to move to the Philippines if they are denied again. 

 

We went through a denial. Our first choice was to live in the UK (my home country) but my husband was denied. I had a very good job there, 4 siblings, 9 nieces and nephews, a house, both parents still alive. My husband was unemployed, his parents are dead as are two of his three siblings, he was renting a room in the home of a friend of a friend. It made sense for him to move to me. I had no intention of living in the US. But when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If we had to live in a tent in the desert, I would. I just want to be with my husband and I’ve convinced myself that the location - whilst not ideal nor my first choice - is irrelevant. 

 

Being in a relationship always involves comprise. Being in an international relationship involves bigger compromises. 

[Little_Vixen 1,869]

4 hours ago, debbiedoo said:

I guess the 4 kids my fiance and I have between us don't factor in :/   ages 21,20,19, and 12.

 

My statement stands. Where there is a will there is a way. Even if it means you CHOOSE to wait years.

 

4 hours ago, JFH said:

But that’s exactly what the OP’s fiancee is doing with a 4-year-old. Or planning to do. So it makes sense for the OP to move to the Philippines if they are denied again. 

 

We went through a denial. Our first choice was to live in the UK (my home country) but my husband was denied. I had a very good job there, 4 siblings, 9 nieces and nephews, a house, both parents still alive. My husband was unemployed, his parents are dead as are two of his three siblings, he was renting a room in the home of a friend of a friend. It made sense for him to move to me. I had no intention of living in the US. But when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If we had to live in a tent in the desert, I would. I just want to be with my husband and I’ve convinced myself that the location - whilst not ideal nor my first choice - is irrelevant. 

 

Being in a relationship always involves comprise. Being in an international relationship involves bigger compromises. 

You both come from countries that speak the same language, I feel there's a very big difference. Dragging a 4 year old along, who will adapt much easier to a new environment, is also a very different situation from moving a 15 or 17 year old. As is leaving behind a 19 and 23 year old who has no parent left after he leaves.

People make choices based on their beliefs and convictions. Just because yours are different doesn't make them wrong. I stand with my statement too. Don't be too quick to judge. 

[Unidentified 2,930]

2 hours ago, Little_Vixen said:

 

You both come from countries that speak the same language, I feel there's a very big difference. Dragging a 4 year old along, who will adapt much easier to a new environment, is also a very different situation from moving a 15 or 17 year old. As is leaving behind a 19 and 23 year old who has no parent left after he leaves.

People make choices based on their beliefs and convictions. Just because yours are different doesn't make them wrong. I stand with my statement too. Don't be too quick to judge. 

Doesn't Netherlands like other countries in Europe teach English to kids from like 1st or 2nd grade? In Sweden they do and everyone is fluent in English. 

[WokTheDog 17]

On 6/8/2018 at 10:43 AM, Umka36 said:

That's why it probably would be nice to have the US fiancé there for moral/direct support during the interview process if at all possible. My wife spoke minimal English, and I imagine she would have been grilled.

that was my big mistake...

[WokTheDog 17]

21 hours ago, JFH said:

I’m beginning to guess why she was denied. 

 

A K-1 visa isn’t about “better opportunities”. It’s for people who want to build a life together. It’s for love. 

 

I asked how old the child was and now we know the child is 4. OP said the child cried and cried because of the denial. The child barely knows him. She hasn’t seen him face to face in a year - probably doesn’t even remember that visit - and wouldn’t understand what a visa denial is. I can’t imagine a child so young being so upset at not being able to live with someone she barely knows. 

 

Does the fiancee have other family members already here? A sister, maybe? Is the child upset because she was “promised” a life in America? Perhaps with other family members? 

 

OP, do you really think her feelings are genuine? 

 

I don’t see why you won’t consider a move to the Philippines. If you want to be with her more than anything else in the world then location is irrelevant. 

That is wrong, I talk to the child via whatsapp all the time, so it's not like I'm a stranger.   She is very talkative and I like talking to her.  She was crying because she wanted to see me again.     I told her I would visit her in a few months.

 

No other family members here in the states.

 

I have a good paying job in the United States and  my mother is in her 90's and has dementia.   I need to help my brother and sister take care of her.  we cover for each other.  

 

 

[Abies 1,713]

On 6/5/2018 at 8:20 AM, Roel said:

Just go there, get married and file for cr1. Can't do anything about that denied k1 right now. 

 

Work or not, spend more time together and provide evidences.  

Exactly what we did after our previous k1 was denied. My husband flew home to marry me after the co said she didn't believe our relationship was bonafide and that she will prefer him to come to Nigeria to marry me and then go through the cr1 route. 

 

[Abies 1,713]

On 6/5/2018 at 3:23 AM, WokTheDog said:

I see what you are saying.   I visited her back in August of 2017 and stayed for 3 weeks.   I wanted to visit again, but projects at work kept me from going.   I am still amazed how rude the guy was.  why couldn't he just say, "I just don't see evidence of a real relationship"   and leave it at that?   My fiancee's child has been crying non stop since the interview.   

 

It looks more and more like I will just have to go back and marry her.    I'm just sick to know that this whole process will take another 10-12 months.

I know how painful and stressful it is cos i have been there before. Make out time to go marry her in the Philippines and file the cr1. The journey is a very tough one but we dont have any other option than to be with our loved ones.

 

The lord is your strength. It will finally end in praise.

[JAZ SHAYE 0]

what about the spousal visa is there any denial also?