Fiancee just got Denied

[Going through 5,669]

2 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Were you able to confirm that she actually got on the airplane?

That's what I was thinking...hopefully she didn't just take the $1500 and the Uber to a motel.

[WokTheDog 17]

On 6/5/2018 at 6:39 AM, Russ&Caro said:

Is this the first time your fiancee has filed for immigration benefits?

Yes

[WokTheDog 17]

1 hour ago, Going through said:

That's what I was thinking...hopefully she didn't just take the $1500 and the Uber to a motel.

No she went home.  Her boyfriend was picking her up, which I know for a fact.  Don't ask me how I know hehehe. I feel I wanted so much time and energy. Didn't make a wise choice.   My mom died on Aug 22, so I feel really lonely now.  Bad timing

[Going through 5,669]

6 hours ago, WokTheDog said:

No she went home.  Her boyfriend was picking her up, which I know for a fact.  Don't ask me how I know hehehe. I feel I wanted so much time and energy. Didn't make a wise choice.   My mom died on Aug 22, so I feel really lonely now.  Bad timing

My condolences for your loss.

 

Yes, your fiance turned out to be a waste of time, in a sense---but far less a waste of time and energy (and added expense) had you have married and found out all of this after the fact.  Take that, at least, as the silver lining.

[SilverMonk 194]

Just read the entire post. Was not expecting that outcome. Glad you found out before getting married and adjusting status. 

[TBoneTX 44,672]

Condolences for your loss.  Whether it's sudden or long-expected, it's never easy.  May you be comforted among all who mourn.

 

I echo Going Through's observation:  count your blessings, because she saved you a lot of time and further headaches.  And SilverMonk is also 100% correct.  You wouldn't want someone/something like that holding her status over your head for many years, if not in perpetuity.

 

Added to this is no VAWA claim.  Yes, you're in far finer shape than most, so take comfort in that.

[WokTheDog 17]

16 hours ago, Going through said:

My condolences for your loss.

 

Yes, your fiance turned out to be a waste of time, in a sense---but far less a waste of time and energy (and added expense) had you have married and found out all of this after the fact.  Take that, at least, as the silver lining.

Exactly, I'm very thankful.  

[WokTheDog 17]

4 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Condolences for your loss.  Whether it's sudden or long-expected, it's never easy.  May you be comforted among all who mourn.

 

I echo Going Through's observation:  count your blessings, because she saved you a lot of time and further headaches.  And SilverMonk is also 100% correct.  You wouldn't want someone/something like that holding her status over your head for many years, if not in perpetuity.

 

Added to this is no VAWA claim.  Yes, you're in far finer shape than most, so take comfort in that.

After work I showed up home about an hour before her driver came and things were very civil between us.   I even joked around with her.   Hey child stared at me and looked very sad.   I think a lot of things were said in our heated exchange that she apologized for.   Her driver showed up, I helped to load the vehicle and we ended up hugging.   She cried and I cried just because it was a very long journey that finally came to an end.  The child hugged me very tight and I kissed her on the cheek.   The driver was on a smoking break and then they drove off.   I will need a big break after this up and down relationship

[EmilyW 1,312]

Change the locks.  If you can't confirm she got on a plane, make sure you're covered.

[WokTheDog 17]

3 hours ago, EmilyW said:

Change the locks.  If you can't confirm she got on a plane, make sure you're covered.

I have her key and I know she is home now.    I have blocked her on all social media.   I'm relieved that this is over.   I will be way more careful next time with who I chose to be with.   The signs were all there, but I ignored.

[TBoneTX 44,672]

Good to hear, and good for you.

You sound like your head is screwed on straight, and I have confidence that you'll ultimately be fine.  

[Going through 5,669]

16 hours ago, WokTheDog said:

I have her key and I know she is home now.    I have blocked her on all social media.   I'm relieved that this is over.   I will be way more careful next time with who I chose to be with.   The signs were all there, but I ignored.

Love is blind, as they say.  Don't be too hard on yourself---the main thing is that you didn't ignore the most recent signs, dealt with it in a mature manner, and got yourself out of a bad situation that had the potential to become much worse.

[WokTheDog 17]

4 hours ago, Going through said:

Love is blind, as they say.  Don't be too hard on yourself---the main thing is that you didn't ignore the most recent signs, dealt with it in a mature manner, and got yourself out of a bad situation that had the potential to become much worse.

I will never forget her child though.  The look on her face that evening they were leaving was really sad.  She couldn't stop staring at me and kept calling me Daddy as the Uber driver away.  

[Going through 5,669]

1 hour ago, WokTheDog said:

I will never forget her child though.  The look on her face that evening they were leaving was really sad.  She couldn't stop staring at me and kept calling me Daddy as the Uber driver away.  

Certainly that will be a vision which will haunt you for a while.

The blame for the daughter's condition should be placed squarely on the shoulders of her mother, though...she obviously never considered the possibility and impact all of this might have had on her child being shuttled from one country to the next (and back again)---and from one man to another (and back again)---- once her own deceit came to light.  Try to break yourself away from any guilty feelings you may have over making the decision to look out for your best interests, where her child is concerned.

 

It goes without saying to take a break for yourself at this time, and look forward towards another relationship when your emotions are balanced out. 

I wish you the best of luck.

Edited September 18, 2018 by Going through

[WokTheDog 17]

16 hours ago, Going through said:

Certainly that will be a vision which will haunt you for a while.

The blame for the daughter's condition should be placed squarely on the shoulders of her mother, though...she obviously never considered the possibility and impact all of this might have had on her child being shuttled from one country to the next (and back again)---and from one man to another (and back again)---- once her own deceit came to light.  Try to break yourself away from any guilty feelings you may have over making the decision to look out for your best interests, where her child is concerned.

 

It goes without saying to take a break for yourself at this time, and look forward towards another relationship when your emotions are balanced out. 

I wish you the best of luck.

Thanks much.  I do need a break