Permission from kids fathers UK

[Alittlehopeful 0]

Hi all

 

I'm totally new to this forum so I'm sorry if this is in the wrong place or anything.

 

What sort of permission would I need from my kids fathers to move to the US with them? My oldest is 7 and her father wouldn't be a problem, I know he'll sign it. My youngest however is 2, I haven't seen or heard from him since my son was 6 months old. He wasn't the nicest of people and would probably use this to toy with me. If I turned up at his work on his break and put him on the spot to sign a pre-written letter he'd probably sign, but if i was to ask him to meet me to get it notarised or anything he'd probably start messing me about. Does it need to be notarised or would the pre-written letter suffice? I haven't decided if i'm going down the K1 or CR1 yet, I just wanted to get this out of the way before starting the process.

 

Thanks!

[SusieQQQ 11,587]

10 minutes ago, Alittlehopeful said:

Hi all

 

I'm totally new to this forum so I'm sorry if this is in the wrong place or anything.

 

What sort of permission would I need from my kids fathers to move to the US with them? My oldest is 7 and her father wouldn't be a problem, I know he'll sign it. My youngest however is 2, I haven't seen or heard from him since my son was 6 months old. He wasn't the nicest of people and would probably use this to toy with me. If I turned up at his work on his break and put him on the spot to sign a pre-written letter he'd probably sign, but if i was to ask him to meet me to get it notarised or anything he'd probably start messing me about. Does it need to be notarised or would the pre-written letter suffice? I haven't decided if i'm going down the K1 or CR1 yet, I just wanted to get this out of the way before starting the process.

 

Thanks!

You’d need a legal custody arrangement or other legal agreement allowing you to take the kids. Specifics may depend on your country of origin. (Anyone can just forge a signature on a letter otherwise.)

[Alittlehopeful 0]

1 minute ago, SusieQQQ said:

You’d need a legal custody arrangement or other legal agreement allowing you to take the kids. Specifics may depend on your country of origin. (Anyone can just forge a signature on a letter otherwise.)

I'm from Scotland. From what I've read that I only need to go down the legal agreement route if I can't get the father's permission but it didn't specify what counts as permission. 

[JFH 12,191]

From what I understand it’s not easy. It’s not just a case of getting hm to sign a document - that might be the case to take the child on holiday. You are planning to take them away permanently so you will need a court order for this if the father is named on the birth certificate. The judge will then base his decision on whether anything is gained by the child being taken out of the country. Recently a woman from Scotland was denied taking her children to England - and England would have been a lot easier for the father to visit them and maintain contact than the USA. Not everyone believes that the USA offers a “better life” and judges in custody decisions are notorious for ruling that children are best left where they are - surrounded by grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, school friends etc rather than taken away to a place where they know hardly anyone. I was a foster parent in the past so I have some experience of custody matters in the courts. 

 

If the father makes any objection whatsoever, the judge will likely side with him. It’ll probably be easier for your fiance/husband to move to Scotland. 

[Alittlehopeful 0]

7 minutes ago, JFH said:

If the father makes any objection whatsoever, the judge will likely side with him. It’ll probably be easier for your fiance/husband to move to Scotland. 

Even if he hasn't had any contact or made financial input? He wasn't close to the fathers family either so it's not as though he's losing anything if we move. 

 

I tried to have son have contact with his father after we initially split up, I have messages of his father refusing contact so surely that counts for something? I don't see him objecting to be honest, I just don't see him turning up to anything.

[Ontarkie 14,509]

Yes you can use a letter from the father.

 

It just needs to say     

 

 I (name) give permission to (name) to take (child's name) to move/live permanently in the US. Pretty much along those lines. No it does not need to be notarized.

 

Now I know a few of the Countries say if you weren't married when the child was born the father has no parental rights. Check to see if that applies to you also. If you have any custody papers already drawn up then those terms still apply. So if calls and visits need to be adjusted it would be good to adjust that before the move. The US will not change another Countries custody agreement. They will honour the one in place. 

[Alittlehopeful 0]

1 minute ago, Ontarkie said:

Yes you can use a letter from the father.

 

It just needs to say     

 

 I (name) give permission to (name) to take (child's name) to move/live permanently in the US. Pretty much along those lines. No it does not need to be notarized.

 

Now I know a few of the Countries say if you weren't married when the child was born the father has no parental rights. Check to see if that applies to you also. If you have any custody papers already drawn up then those terms still apply. So if calls and visits need to be adjusted it would be good to adjust that before the move. The US will not change another Countries custody agreement. They will honour the one in place. 

Thank you for your help! There are no custody agreements in place nor are there calls or visits. My oldest has always been on a "call whenever you want" basis with her father and his family and that will continue. Here, the father is on the birth certificate so he has parental rights. 

 

I'm not sure if it's worth noting but all 3 of us have the same surname.

[Ontarkie 14,509]

1 minute ago, Alittlehopeful said:

Thank you for your help! There are no custody agreements in place nor are there calls or visits. My oldest has always been on a "call whenever you want" basis with her father and his family and that will continue. Here, the father is on the birth certificate so he has parental rights. 

 

I'm not sure if it's worth noting but all 3 of us have the same surname.

From the little research I did. If you were never married or if he never did anything to get his parental rights then you don't need a letter. He has no rights to the child.

 

https://photos.state.gov/libraries/unitedkingdom/164203/pdf/scotland_child_custody_2007.pdf

 

This thread is probably best move to the Regional forum so you can get other members familiar with this. I'm going to move it now for you  

 

[Coco8 1,042]

The reason why you have to be very careful and you need to have something very formal in place (such as a court order) is that you could be accused of kidnapping. It has happened. If the father of your youngest wasn't very nice, then that is a reason for doing something through a judge. He could just accuse you or threaten you of kidnapping to take money from you.

 

If you do a quick google search, you'll see how many kidnapping cases there are out there, some which may not even be really kidnapping, just miscommunication or someone changing their minds.  The father can sign a piece of paper and change his mind a year or two later. That won't work for you. 

[Alittlehopeful 0]

3 minutes ago, Coco8 said:

The reason why you have to be very careful and you need to have something very formal in place (such as a court order) is that you could be accused of kidnapping. It has happened. If the father of your youngest wasn't very nice, then that is a reason for doing something through a judge.

The thing is, I genuinely don't think he would turn up. Would that stand against him? Would the judge still go ahead if he didn't turn up or would they keep rescheduling?

[JFH 12,191]

If his name is on the birth certificate, he has parental rights and responsibilities. It works both ways - responsibilities (you can force him to pay money towards the cost of raising the child) but also rights (he can stop you taking the child away from Scotland). 

[JFH 12,191]

OP, you might want to read the posts from this member:

 

It took her 18 months in the Scottish courts to get permission to bring her children here. She posted about it regularly and it was a huge battle. 

[Alittlehopeful 0]

3 minutes ago, JFH said:

OP, you might want to read the posts from this member:

 

It took her 18 months in the Scottish courts to get permission to bring her children here. She posted about it regularly and it was a huge battle. 

Thanks i'll give that a read. I don't think he'd refuse as such, I just think he'd mess about. I don't think he'd bother turning up to court if it came to that and that's my worry. 

[Coco8 1,042]

43 minutes ago, Alittlehopeful said:

Thanks i'll give that a read. I don't think he'd refuse as such, I just think he'd mess about. I don't think he'd bother turning up to court if it came to that and that's my worry. 

That is something for a lawyer or barrister or whatever it is there to determine. 

[Wuozopo 4,293]

5 hours ago, Alittlehopeful said:

Hi all

 

I'm totally new to this forum so I'm sorry if this is in the wrong place or anything.

 

What sort of permission would I need from my kids fathers to move to the US with them? My oldest is 7 and her father wouldn't be a problem, I know he'll sign it. My youngest however is 2, I haven't seen or heard from him since my son was 6 months old. He wasn't the nicest of people and would probably use this to toy with me. If I turned up at his work on his break and put him on the spot to sign a pre-written letter he'd probably sign, but if i was to ask him to meet me to get it notarised or anything he'd probably start messing me about. Does it need to be notarised or would the pre-written letter suffice? I haven't decided if i'm going down the K1 or CR1 yet, I just wanted to get this out of the way before starting the process.

 

Thanks!

I have read hundreds of actual London experiences over the last 10 years. Most with kids would get a letter witnessed by a solicitor. Some just took a plain letter signed by father. One lady was handed an affidavit to sign at the embassy attesting to the fact that she had no clue where the father was. Many over the last few years didn't have anything mentioned to them. Seems weird. I think if you can get him to freely sign, you won't have a problem.  The ones who end up in court tend to be those who couldn't get father to agree so they went to court just to cover their bases.