my foreign wife had me arrested

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

4 minutes ago, MyJourney said:

Listen to your lawyer. Do not withdraw or do anything yet, that would look like you are trying to retaliate. 

How is that retaliating? If the intent at this point is to terminate the divorce and the relationship, which is the reason the wife is here in the first place, then why would that not also be a step he should take?

[Boiler 45,559]

14 minutes ago, MyJourney said:

Listen to your lawyer. Do not withdraw or do anything yet, that would look like you are trying to retaliate. 

To follow through on a non valid marriage would be both fraudulent a clear breach of the VJ ToS.

[MyJourney 276]

9 minutes ago, Paul & Mallory said:

How is that retaliating? If the intent at this point is to terminate the divorce and the relationship, which is the reason the wife is here in the first place, then why would that not also be a step he should take?

I do not know exactly how. But withdrawing that is not on the top of the priority list in this case. The priority is to demonstrate that he is not the person she is portraying him to be like. It may look like trying to send her back to Colombia because she filed a compliant. But I may be wrong. 
 

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

2 minutes ago, MyJourney said:

I do not know exactly how. But withdrawing that is not on the top of the priority list in this case. The priority is to demonstrate that he is not the person she is portraying him to be like. It may look like trying to send her back to Colombia because she filed a compliant. But I may be wrong. 
 

I understand what you are saying, but he would ultimately be completing the adjustment process which is to be based on a valid marriage, while the marriage no longer appears to be valid. Which I think could pose quite a bigger problem for him.

Edited May 11, 2018 by Paul & Mallory

[Villanelle 4,122]

Do you have a criminal attny or a divorce attny? Or is it one attny thats going to handle everything for you? 

 

I can understand the attny saying not to withdraw the 864. They are trying to mitigate your damages. If she is unable to work because she has no EAD you could potentially pay out more in spousal support (temporary and permanent) It can also be viewed or presented as abusive. You have to weigh that against the possibility her application gets approved which leaves you on the hook for 10 years or more. You also have to consider what Boiler said about not participating in a non valid application anymore. 

 

You need a criminal attny to represent you in the protection order matter. Right now she probably has a temp order and you all will be going to court to make it permanent. There is a form she filled out to obtain said order. You are entitled to it. You have to go to the clerk and obtain it. Or your attny should be able to get it for you. It will outline exactly what she said happened that she needs an order of protection because of. 

[MyJourney 276]

6 minutes ago, Paul & Mallory said:

I understand what you are saying, but he would ultimately be completing the adjustment process which is to be based on a valid marriage, while the marriage no longer appears to be valid. Which I think could pose quite a bigger problem for him.

That is true. I did not look it from that perspective. I see that now. But still, it may be better to back out of it after addressing her immediate accusations. She will be ineligible for immigration benefits based on this marriage anyway as the divorce is under way. What she may be working on is to reclassify the aos as "battered spouse". She may use the withdrawal to argue that he is being manipulative and retaliatory. 

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

2 minutes ago, MyJourney said:

That is true. I did not look it from that perspective. I see that now. But still, it may be better to back out of it after addressing her immediate accusations. She will be ineligible for immigration benefits based on this marriage anyway as the divorce is under way. What she may be working on is to reclassify the aos as "battered spouse". She may use the withdrawal to argue that he is being manipulative and retaliatory. 

That is true...good point. I suppose that's what things like VAWA are for. Ultimately, I'd think some sort of investigation would have to be done to prove the allegations, either as false or valid.

[chi6488 94]

Lawyer is taking you for a ride dragging i864 issue so he can bill more hours.

 

 

[JayMar2019 2,741]

36 minutes ago, MyJourney said:

I do not know exactly how. But withdrawing that is not on the top of the priority list in this case. The priority is to demonstrate that he is not the person she is portraying him to be like. It may look like trying to send her back to Colombia because she filed a compliant. But I may be wrong. 
 

 

33 minutes ago, Damara said:

Do you have a criminal attny or a divorce attny? Or is it one attny thats going to handle everything for you? 

 

I can understand the attny saying not to withdraw the 864. They are trying to mitigate your damages. If she is unable to work because she has no EAD you could potentially pay out more in spousal support (temporary and permanent) It can also be viewed or presented as abusive. You have to weigh that against the possibility her application gets approved which leaves you on the hook for 10 years or more. You also have to consider what Boiler said about not participating in a non valid application anymore. 

 

You need a criminal attny to represent you in the protection order matter. Right now she probably has a temp order and you all will be going to court to make it permanent. There is a form she filled out to obtain said order. You are entitled to it. You have to go to the clerk and obtain it. Or your attny should be able to get it for you. It will outline exactly what she said happened that she needs an order of protection because of. 

I think you both are kinda of missing the point of where the OP stands right now. As of right now, the OP has an arrest record for DV charge. Whether charges are dropped/dismissed or a conviction is later determined in the court, the arrest record remains and will follow him for life (yes he can request to have the arrest expunged carries no wait in immigration related cases). For the OP, this means that at this point, she is setting herself up for VAWA or having it where she doesn't need her husband to update her AOS, i.e., getting her GC. If she called the police and has filed  DV report against him once, she has no problem with doing it again. What she is doing is building her "paper trail".

 

We don't have to know the "whole story" of what happened between the OP and his wife because truthfully, it's relevant if the OP is seeking a divorce. Pulling the I-864 is the best thing for the OP to PROTECT HIMSELF in the long run because it's clear that she's protecting HERSELF in the long run. Him pulling the I-864 is not viewed as vindictive tactic or "abusive". Steps have already been taken where she deems that she's "unsafe" and "in fear" to the point where she was granted a no contact order. Whether there's truth or lie to the OP's story, the fact is, a judge or commissioner believed her claim enough at that time to grant a protection order. She is a woman, a foreign woman at that and he wasn't present when the police were called. All she had to do was have the police create a police report for her to go to the court and request a protection order WITHOUT the OP knowledge which means he was not given a chance to come to court to dispute her claims, and that's how her no contact order was granted.

 

Most likely, these "charges" will be dismissed for several reasons (she probably has been schooled that well to know that she "jumped the ball" too quickly before getting her EAD/GC) or when he goes to court, the judge will see that the case has no weight (unless she has proof of physical abuse).

 

OP...if you seeking a divorce and you know that is what you want to do, pull the I-864 and finalize the divorce. It's one thing to have to be temporarily responsible for (i.e., provide temporarily housing/financial assistance for her, but your lawyer can have a timeframe stipulated on how long that has to be), but it's another to be financially responsible for her until she naturalizes.

 

Either way, you need to start thinking about the future of YOUR well-being!

Edited May 11, 2018 by Trinab80

[MyJourney 276]

5 minutes ago, Paul & Mallory said:

That is true...good point. I suppose that's what things like VAWA are for. Ultimately, I'd think some sort of investigation would have to be done to prove the allegations, either as false or valid.

The system is inclined to be biased on the female side and be willing to err on the male side on such situations.....That is why I think it is important to stay rational and think strategically. She knows she cannot derive aos from this marriage. She is going after the "batter spouse" now. He should not give her a chance to use this action, potentially (just potentially) to boost her "battered spouse" argument. 

[SL&SP 2]

1 hour ago, Boiler said:

Sounds like she has been well schooled.

 

Sounds like the teacher sucks or she is a terrible student. Way too soon to not be suspicious. She will be back in Colombia shortly if what OP is saying is true. 

 

I wonder why OP left for seemingly no reason after the argument. 

[Unlockable 7,314]

Not like she wouldn't have any other options. I can certainly see a VAWA claim in the future.

 

I agree with the most recent posts above that this is a strategy to protect the Op in the long run. If done right, the affidavit of support would be pulled and the divorce will be finalized and the OP can wash his hands of her. She is seeking to remain in the house and have him pay for it. Don't know if she realizes it is not going to be like that forever.

[FernandLevi 36]

2 hours ago, Going through said:

Wives generally don't call the police on their husband, get them arrested, and file a protective order against them due to misunderstandings...I guess anything is possible though, of course.

It's all common in child custody. File an injunction, get the house, kids, and ungodly amount of child support since she has 100% of the kids. the father can't afford a place or a lawyer , stable place for kids and lose the child custody battle. In the state of Florida though there needs to either be marks, creditable witness', or confession. 

[FernandLevi 36]

31 minutes ago, MyJourney said:

The system is inclined to be biased on the female side and be willing to err on the male side on such situations.....That is why I think it is important to stay rational and think strategically. She knows she cannot derive aos from this marriage. She is going after the "batter spouse" now. He should not give her a chance to use this action, potentially (just potentially) to boost her "battered spouse" argument. 

The system in the state of Florida wasn't bias towards me when I seperated.

[MyJourney 276]

They do that all the time. Calling the cops and crying victim is their favorite choice of weapon. 

1 minute ago, FernandLevi said:

The system in the state of Florida wasn't bias towards me when I seperated.

I am pleased to hear this. It is a good sign.