The USA should be the land of freedom but...

[jyaku 138]

I realized something by travelling and living overseas with my fiance.

 

The USA is nowhere the best country in the world, nor is it the most free. Most people are aloof and want their safe space. 

 

Overseas there's much more of a community of family and friends, people generally happy to see you. There are home made foods, everything is closeby and they speak your language.

 

Honestly the USA is a downgrade or sidegrade at best compared to most of Italy.

 

But best would be, just taking a visitor visa, exploring the USA for 2-3 months and then deciding.

 

Most of the time you find out if you can live in the country after the "honey moon" phase is over. 

[Crazy Cat 42,628]

2 minutes ago, jyaku said:

I realized something by travelling and living overseas with my fiance.

The USA is nowhere the best country in the world, nor is it the most free.

I guess that's why so many people in the world are trying to immigrate to the US.......smh again...

[NikLR 13,232]

1 minute ago, missileman said:

I guess that's why so many people in the world are trying to immigrate to the US.......smh again...

Sometimes me immigrate here due to finances etc... not because we actually want to live here.  Smh

[mrs thb 331]

14 hours ago, carla s said:

 

Hi Carla,

 

Welcome to VJ!  You have made a smart decision to belong to the group to help you along with this incredibly complicated and emotional journey.  I congratulate you on finding us and posting your concerns.

 

Let me first begin with my story, it might help you relate. I am part Italian, formerly married to an Italian and my former in-laws were from Santa Croce de Magliano, so I get your heritage and cultural ties.  I have been to Italy 4 times,  3 times visiting for 3 weeks touring the country and living with the locals and once an impromptu short visit while touring Croatia.  I totally get why you're apprehensive.  Your country is amazing and I would drop everything to go live there! 

 

As you can see I am Canadian and began researching this immigration process back in 2007 with my now husband. I came on VJ to get information about the immigration process and to seek advice specifically on how do mature people with several children in their late teens (eg. finishing secondary school),  with established careers, independence, nearing financial freedom and approaching retirement severe ties from their country and smoothly transition to a new country while still keeping their identity, autonomy and independence.  For me, this process was more than just applying, getting the visa and moving stateside.  

 

I saw my move not just  embarking to live with my husband but as ending my life as it had always been and beginning a new one.  That's how it is when your independent, established and mature.  I had to sell property and assets, downsize, pack, severe financial ties, uproot my children (they lived with me),  quit my job (my sense of security and my livelihood,), leave family and friends.  It was big and I was just moving countries not continents!!  By the sounds of it, you are older and therefore it's not just a matter of packing one suitcase and starting over.  I suspect some of your concerns are similar.

 

As a former ESL teacher, I will assume English is perhaps a second language to you, so allow me read into your post a little.  While this process is extreme and USCIS wants a lot of information.....and just a side note....the process isn't over with paperwork until you become naturalized, you want that!  You want to be safe here when you move, right?  You want freedom to move about safely without worry, you want laws in place to protect you, you want democracy, you want  rights.  This is what the motto "land of the free" basically implies.  You are right in saying nothing is free because that is true.  Many countries today are not democratic, people suffer, are oppressed and live in fear.  America grants you freedom from all this and you have a voice, you matter.  This process is laborious for a reason.  Along with providing opportunity, it's too keep America safe, keep it's identity secure and protect it's people.  You want that.  Hang in there!

 

You are smart to be thinking about all the things you will miss and how and where you will live.  I did the same, however in my situation I was moving to more sun and blue skies and less humidity which was an added bonus.  I did a quick google and saw that Oregon has on average 126-214 days of sun depending on where you are living.  Sure its not Italy weather but its better than 350 days of rain!  as you mentioned! You  won't find Italy weather here and that will be an adjustment.  You will find Italian communities, some states have a higher Italian populations than others. You will find, as I am sure you have already, Italian food, restaurants and goods, are readily available here.  Others you will need to hunt for.  I might suggest you begin to stockpile specialty items only found in Italy when you and your fiance see each other.  As for the place you will live.  If moving to Oregon is temporary, you will manage...it's only weather.  You can rise above those rain clouds.  But, when it's moving time be sure you chose wisely.  If humidity is your thing then Florida and Texas are ideal, if not best you be looking elsewhere.  I will suggest holding on to property in Italy if a) laws allow and b) you plan to return there one day.  This also provides great comfort when you return to visit.

 

As for feeling American; don't.  You never have to surrender your heritage, your culture, your identity, your language.  As he doesn't have to surrender his.  You will acclimate eventually and adjust as you want.  I will never stop spelling colour, colour,; honour, honour and cheques, cheques.  

 

Ultimately, you need to talk to your fiance about your worries and fears.  You are the one giving up a life you are so comfortably living in.  He may not be able to understand this 100% but he needs to know exactly what is going on inside your head and heart.  The feelings you are feeling are true, he needs to be there to comfort you now. He has to support you now.  Once your here, you're here and believe me there will be some tough days ahead when you're feeling homesick and you'll need his love and understanding.  If you have that then the transition will be so much smoother.

 

Hope this helps!

[jyaku 138]

9 minutes ago, missileman said:

I guess that's why so many people in the world are trying to immigrate to the US.......smh again...

 

It's an upgrade over India, China, Taiwan, Philippines, Vietnam, Mexico, Pakistan, Africa sure.

 

But over Singapore, Hong Kong, Germany, Luxembourg, Italy, Dubai, Abu Dhabi.. not at all.

 

But you have to see where the immigrants are coming from. SMH right back at you

Edited May 5, 2018 by jyaku

[Crazy Cat 42,628]

1 minute ago, jyaku said:

 

It's an upgrade over India, China, Taiwan, Philippines, Vietnam, Mexico, Pakistan, Africa sure.

 

But over Singapore, Hong Kong, Germany, Luxembourg, Italy, Dubai, Abu Dhabi.. not at all.

 

But you have to see where the immigrants are coming from. SMH right back at you

That is your opinion.....and here, in the US, you are entitle to that.......but it is only an opinion....

[Unidentified 2,930]

24 minutes ago, Springrain22 said:

I don't know what you're talking about, but to me US is the best country ever. It has everything. Maybe you just don't know how to use it or it's something that is completely not compatible with you.

You should travel more

[Unidentified 2,930]

2 minutes ago, Springrain22 said:

I've seen 45 countries. You?

Enough to know the US still have a lot to work on. 

[jyaku 138]

15 minutes ago, missileman said:

That is your opinion.....and here, in the US, you are entitle to that.......but it is only an opinion....

 

I should add.. 4 million Americans are expats and live overseas. You should see where they immigrate to.

 

Japan, Singapore, Germany, Switzerland, New Zealand, Australia are quite high up on their destinations which sorta proves my point.

[Crazy Cat 42,628]

2 minutes ago, jyaku said:

 

I should add.. 4 million Americans are expats and live overseas. You should see where they immigrate to.

 

Japan, Singapore, Germany, Switzerland, New Zealand, Australia are quite high up on their destinations which sorta proves my point.

There are also expats in the countries you earlier named as downgrades........proves nada....

[Penguin_ie 5,997]

**** Many posts removed for personal attacks  or quoting same.  This thread will remain locked as the K1 forum is for discussions of the actual visa.   *******

Edited May 5, 2018 by Penguin_ie