The USA should be the land of freedom but...

[Springrain22 427]

There's nothing free. If something is free, someone has to pay for it.

 

You MUST show a lot to immigrate. It is a requirement. If you don't like the American way to immigrate, it may be better for you to stay in Italy and ask your bf to move to your country. There's no other way around it. You either move to him, following all the rules that immigration process requires, and live in US without your Italian miracles, or he moves to you but lives thousands of miles away from his parents, supported by you.

 

Love is love, law is law. It's your process and only you can decide whether or not it's what you need. US freedom has nothing to do with it. You're not even here, but it seems like you're already not happy.

Edited May 5, 2018 by Springrain22

[bad4tatt 168]

13 hours ago, carla s said:

Hi, I am Carla and I am Italian. My american fiance and I are doing our paper work for the K1 Visa. We are in love form almost 3 years and we thought that we just needed to get married. Everybody in the world know USA as the land of freedom but I realized that there is nothing free in the USA. Is it right that we have to prove everything, that we have to show them our private life, our private messagges, chats, email, photos... I feel sad and I really don't know if I will feel american one day in the future. I am sure that I will miss the italian food, the italian colture, the italian weather (He lives in Oregon = it rains 350 days a year). I truly love him just I don't like the american way for to get married! Can somebody tell me where is the freedom in USA?

By all means...Please stay in Italy, we have enough negativity in this country. Why do people think immigration is a RIGHT? It's not. More important, why do people think it's bad to make sure you have a valid relationship when filing as such to immigrate.  Hopefully your fiancé will make the sacrifice and move with you.

 

FYI. Does not rain that much in OR. If he tells you that, maybe he really does not want you here?

 

Good luck with what ever choice you and your love make..

[Unidentified 2,930]

13 hours ago, carla s said:

Hi, I am Carla and I am Italian. My american fiance and I are doing our paper work for the K1 Visa. We are in love form almost 3 years and we thought that we just needed to get married. Everybody in the world know USA as the land of freedom but I realized that there is nothing free in the USA. Is it right that we have to prove everything, that we have to show them our private life, our private messagges, chats, email, photos... I feel sad and I really don't know if I will feel american one day in the future. I am sure that I will miss the italian food, the italian colture, the italian weather (He lives in Oregon = it rains 350 days a year). I truly love him just I don't like the american way for to get married! Can somebody tell me where is the freedom in USA?

What did you expect when moving to another country? That the US would welcome you with open arms, no questions asked? This is not the EU where you can move as you please. The US wants to know who comes into the country so yeah, they're going to go through your stuff. Have you ever even visited the US before? I think you should visit before you decide you want to move here because you seem to have no idea what America is like. There's Italian restaurants in every town/village/city. 

 

If you don't want to come here you shouldn't. If you already hate it, then don't bother coming here because you will hate it and you're better of in Italy. I too recommend that he study Italian and maybe teach English. That's what my cousin did when she moved to Italy from Sweden. 

[Mrsjackson 300]

New York and New Jersey have large Italian communities and although neither are a warm state, it may help you to feel at home if you have access to your favorite italian foods and can converse in Italian from time to time. Just a thought. Not super close to Arkansas but neither is Oregon. 

 

Immigrating is not a right and everything USCIS requires from you makes perfect sense. Your freedom is not in jeopardy here you just find it a nuisance (as well all do) but it’s completely necessary for them so ensure the safety of Americans as well as protect their economy. Nothing to do with a lack of freedom. You either go through the process or don’t. You are free to choose. 

Edited May 5, 2018 by Mrsjackson

[Lemonslice 4,852]

14 hours ago, carla s said:

He works 70 hours a week, he doesn't have time for to learn italian and in Italy you have to have a degree in languages for to teach... and for him everything in Italy is very little, the streets, the houses, the cars, he is not use to drive in the mad insane traffic in Italy. He will be retire in 10 years so our idea is to live in USA for 10 years and after that move to Europe 

Are you ready to be alone most of the time? 

[Going through 5,671]

On one hand, it's usual to have anxiety/frustration/doubts about the thought of giving up everything in your country when applying for the K1.

 

On the other hand, it's not particularly usual to hate the idea of living in the US altogether when applying for the K1.

 

If you already have in your mind that you don't want to move, then your assimilation into the US is going to be near impossible because you will be looking for only the negative aspects once you begin your life here.

 

The only person saying you *have* to move to the US is your boyfriend.  No one else.  If you truly don't want to move, then do not.  Whether that means you break up with your boyfriend, or he moves to Italy, or you hold off on the K1 and continue a long-distance relationship for a couple of more years and then decide to move is up to you in the end.  

 

 

[T_P 872]

You guys scared the "poor" laddie. YOU guys  

[Hamilton 511]

In addition to everything that's been said here already, I'd like to point out that immigrating to Europe/other Western countries isn't exactly a breeze, either. Even getting a tourist visa for the EU requires giving up a lot of privacy. A friend recently immigrated to the UK and she and her husband provided the immigration authorities with all their chat histories and correspondence etc - very similar to what you have to do here.

[Dashinka 24,512]

3 minutes ago, Hamilton said:

In addition to everything that's been said here already, I'd like to point out that immigrating to Europe/other Western countries isn't exactly a breeze, either. Even getting a tourist visa for the EU requires giving up a lot of privacy. A friend recently immigrated to the UK and she and her husband provided the immigration authorities with all their chat histories and correspondence etc - very similar to what you have to do here.

Great point, most countries have fairly strict immigration laws.

[swalker 137]

Moving abroad can be very challenging, even if you’re in a country you like! My SO and I are married now and live in the USA, but my son and I moved to Argentina to be with her while she completed medical school there in 2010. What was going to be five years turned into almost seven, and I’d have severe homesickness and frustration waves that I didn’t know I’d have. We had/have a strong relationship, so we were ok—-but if you’re complaining before even turning in your I-129f and planning on making a life for yourselves here without being 150% behind it, that is a warning flag you should be paying attention to. 

Also, I don’t even think they’re going to look at any emails or chats for this stage of the process...we had passport stamps and a few photos. Why are you irritated about them prying into your personal life when most of that isn’t even required?

[SMcNally 37]

15 hours ago, carla s said:

Hi, I am Carla and I am Italian. My american fiance and I are doing our paper work for the K1 Visa. We are in love form almost 3 years and we thought that we just needed to get married. Everybody in the world know USA as the land of freedom but I realized that there is nothing free in the USA. Is it right that we have to prove everything, that we have to show them our private life, our private messagges, chats, email, photos... I feel sad and I really don't know if I will feel american one day in the future. I am sure that I will miss the italian food, the italian colture, the italian weather (He lives in Oregon = it rains 350 days a year). I truly love him just I don't like the american way for to get married! Can somebody tell me where is the freedom in USA?

In my experience, people from the western countries have it easy when it comes to visas, as they can travel to many countries without one (for tourism). So, when the day arrives when they have to apply for an immigrant visa, its a shock to them that they have to submit all this paperwork. All this paperwork is normal for the majority of the world. I would have to show a lot of paperwork to travel to Italy as a tourist including things like finances, employment, return ticket, itinerary (including hotel bookings). I had to show my entire life's travel history to apply for my Canadian tourist visa. While living in Singapore, it took me 3 months to get my Australian student visa while it took 24 hours for my local Singaporean friends. While living in Australia, it took me a month to get a visa to NZ to visit for a week. To get a an American tourist visa, I had to travel to a different city to get interviewed by a consular officer. If showing a lot of paperwork to enter a country means there is no freedom, then yes, there is no freedom in not just the USA but pretty much the entire world. You still have it a lot better than a lot of other people.

 

Of course, my above statements doesn't help you  The K1 visa is a long process- the longest visa process I've done. You'll have good days and bad days. But as the others said, you should figure out if you really want to do it. It's not like the paperwork ends once to get to the USA. Good luck!

[Lupigirl 67]

I agree, the immigration process can be frustrating, humiliating and disappointing.  And you haven’t even really started it yet!

 

I wish there were no borders and my husband and I could choose to live in his country or mine, or anywhere else, simply by showing up and abiding by the laws of the land.  Family based immigration is especially icky, since it’s about proving the validity of a relationship and there’s nothing romantic about that.  

 

But the main issue here is that you don’t seem happy at all about moving to the U.S.  That’s a huge weight to put on a relationship.  Your life will be about so much more than just your marriage partner.  If everything else is depressing to you, it’s not worth it.

[Crazy Cat 41,887]

15 hours ago, carla s said:

Is it right that we have to prove everything, that we have to show them our private life, our private messagges, chats, email, photos

Immigrating to the US is a privilege, not a right.  Providing evidence of a bona fide relationship is a very small price to pay for this privilege.  You aren't even in the US yet, but you are already complaining. If this really concerns you this much, maybe you should re-evaluate your priorities in life.  ....smh.

[dawning 212]

I don't really have an answer for the OP, but I did just want to point out in fairness that small-town Italian restaurants may not really have food very much like what she is used to in Italy.  Quality and authenticity of ethnic foods, especially popular ones like Italian, can vary a lot especially in a region there are not many people of that ethnicity living.

 

Good luck!

[Boiler 45,525]

Yet to find a good Indian.