AssalamAlikum from Delaware <3

[janet3 1,170]

6 hours ago, Derik-Lina said:

 

Ps. I am just so curious why all Men from the MENA region are younger than the wives or wives to be; Knowing that those Macho Men

would never ever settle for an older woman, culturally speaking here. I hope I did not offend anyone. Just a remark. 

Of course that was meant to offend..otherwise you would have not called out all MENA men and called them Macho Men. And, by the way, I am offended. There is a six year age difference between my Macho Man and I......me being older. We are both in our 40's. He is intelligent and kind and generous and magnificent in every way  (and, by the way, he's cooking supper right now). So, before you make sweeping generalizations about someone from a specific region of the world......how about you go ahead and remember.......people are people......good and bad, honest and dishonest, loyal and disloyal, perfect and flawed.....but in general....people are just people. We fall in love and try to make the best of it.

[janet3 1,170]

1 hour ago, sparkles_ said:

He is 47, by Moroccan standard he should marry a woman in her late 20s early 30s who can have his child/children. Unless he has already been married and done that before, and divorced. I'm sorry, but PLEASE take a bit of time to know what is really expected of MENA men as well as the language. Don't drink the kool-aid so to speak.....Be aware, that is all. 

 

 

Homeboy may have a real wife back home that they found out about, just an example. You don't really know what went on at POE because you were not there and privy to that conversation in person. Paperwork can be vague at best, especially immigration wise.

According to whom? Why does a middle aged MENA man HAVE to marry a 20 year old woman?  Is this in "general" or is it a "rule"? Would you also like to explain why a man in his late 40's cannot marry a woman in her early 50's? May be they love the same things..art, culture, travel, history, nature......just a wild guess on my part...may be they have something in common  (imagine that )

[sparkles_ 456]

44 minutes ago, janet3 said:

Of course that was meant to offend..otherwise you would have not called out all MENA men and called them Macho Men. And, by the way, I am offended. There is a six year age difference between my Macho Man and I......me being older. We are both in our 40's. He is intelligent and kind and generous and magnificent in every way  (and, by the way, he's cooking supper right now). So, before you make sweeping generalizations about someone from a specific region of the world......how about you go ahead and remember.......people are people......good and bad, honest and dishonest, loyal and disloyal, perfect and flawed.....but in general....people are just people. We fall in love and try to make the best of it.

Actually, and I'm sorry to say, the embassies already frequently generalize this based on true facts/experiences of those who came before us and the dirt they did to others to get here. There is a reason certain countries have an Everest-like climb to get a visa, any many of them are in the MENA area when it comes to male beneficiaries. 

 

Yet I'm not offended by the before statement, I'm married to a Moroccan and I'm older by 4yr, but we are still in our late 20s and early 30s. We have two kids, we share the same non-English language and faith....yet I stay telling women to be careful, so and so. I'm Moroccan American and believe me, because I'm not 100% white American, I saw the real thinking of what would happen when a local guy wants an older semi-local girl.....the family aren't generally big fans of it nor is society because its culturally abnormal.

 

My own Moroccan husband will tell anyone, see a young Moroccan man with an legit older woman, they all know what is typically up......not always, but typically. 

[sparkles_ 456]

7 minutes ago, janet3 said:

According to whom? Why does a middle aged MENA man HAVE to marry a 20 year old woman?  Is this in "general" or is it a "rule"? Would you also like to explain why a man in his late 40's cannot marry a woman in her early 50's? May be they love the same things..art, culture, travel, history, nature......just a wild guess on my part...may be they have something in common  (imagine that )

He wouldn't marry someone older in his country typically. Like it or not, it is a different set of rules for foreigners. A foreigner can get passes that many local women can not. Being older, having prior kids, divorces, different faith, so and so. He doesn't HAVE to, but if he was staying and marrying a LOCAL....he would, out of society and family norms.

 

You need to say 'imagine that', because imagine you knew what many of us who speak the language and have parents from these countries know. I mean this with all respect, you aren't one of us, you can't really grasp our mindset just like I can't probably 100% grasp yours.

Edited May 2, 2018 by sparkles_

[KimberlyNMustpha 15]

7 hours ago, Derik-Lina said:

Find out how Mustafa managed to take 5,000.00 dollars out of Morocco; 

Country rules and Moroccan Border Patrol is extremely tough on such ...

There could lay your answer. Also, he is either a very wealthy man or something is fishy here.

As far as wealthy, I wonder because you mentioned you d be supporting him as he completes his K1.

Lastly, why did he seem so prepared to marry if he did NOT intend to???

Good Luck!

Ps. I am just so curious why all Men from the MENA region are younger than the wives or wives to be; Knowing that those Macho Men

would never ever settle for an older woman, culturally speaking here. I hope I did not offend anyone. Just a remark. 

My husband is an entrepreneur and businessman with some rental properties and family business in Morocco.  By US standards his salary would probably be considered poverty level. He is a single man who still lives with his family.  I liken it to communal living.  I would not consider him wealthy, but comfortable and financially frugal.  Saving that money over 18-24 months is not questionable.  But coming to the US with $5000 for 6 months is.  For that purpose I was sponsoring him for room and board during his stay with me, so it made perfect sense.  

 

The idea of him staying 6 months was my idea.  Take the summer to travel and to be here during the fall and winter holiday's to be fully immersed in my culture and to understand how life would be here.  While I love Morocco I don't know that I could live there and due to some medical concerns as well as my home, 28 year tenure, son, and elderly family, not to mention community involvement, it would be extremely difficult to pick up and just move to Morocco.  Though it has always and still is on the table.

 

I feel extremely guilty.  As a project manager by profession, I am one of these people who like doing things right the first time. Collect the data and requirements and ensure everything is checked multiple times.  For this reason, I had advised him to carry those documents so we could have them translated and I could ensure we had everything we needed.  My need for perfection and control, and request to stay with me raised concerns.  And as you clearly stated.....CBP officers questioned why he was prepared to marry if he was not.

 

Thanks so much for your inquiry and raising questions.  It's interesting where many of these threads go.

 

Patience has become my friend and lots of prayer.  It is very hard being apart from the one you love.  I trust that our process is unfolding the way it should and int he meantime I enjoy every moment of my time spent in Morocco and here in the US preparing for my husbands arrival.

 

 

 

[KimberlyNMustpha 15]

3 hours ago, Trinab80 said:

Apologies if you think we're judging you because thats not what we're doing. The only way we can advise on the best options to follow is to know all the details. My fiance went through the same ordeal, it was a horrible experience. I actually spoke with the CBP officer at the time and they told me that they gave him the option to go home voluntarily with no ban  or receive a 5 year ban and of course he chose the first option. The CBP officer even told him and I to just file the fiance visa because this way he wouldn't have any issues and "he would be my responsibility" (his words not mine).

 

So it sounds like more occurred during his POE that a 5 year ban was placed on him. Either way, patience is definitely needed for this whole process and hopefully things work out for you and your husband in the end.

No apologies necessary.  I have been hesitant for many months to post to  this forum because of the acronyms and jargon that is often used and many generalizations.  I am in no way an expert to give advise and obviously have no idea about my own.   In my depression of being separated I just saw today as an opportunity to say hello, and  share a little bit about what's going on for me.  I just was not prepared for what happened next.   

 

Ironically in my greetings I asked what others were doing to survive the wait.....I've received advise on everything but what I have come to this forum for.  So I appreciate your sharing your finance's horrible experience (makes me feel not alone) and reinforcing the need for patience.  Thank you for that.

 

My case has been filed with the help of an experienced immigration attorney who deals with bans.  The process has never been painted as rosy and fun, but all of the information and advice shared by the attorney and other attorney's I had consulted have been consistent.  I can only share what was documented in the interview papers at POE.  If something else occurred during this then it was not documented properly.  Either way, we've put that episode behind us and are moving forward.

[KimberlyNMustpha 15]

3 hours ago, sparkles_ said:

He is 47, by Moroccan standard he should marry a woman in her late 20s early 30s who can have his child/children. Unless he has already been married and done that before, and divorced. I'm sorry, but PLEASE take a bit of time to know what is really expected of MENA men as well as the language. Don't drink the kool-aid so to speak.....Be aware, that is all. 

 

 

Homeboy may have a real wife back home that they found out about, just an example. You don't really know what went on at POE because you were not there and privy to that conversation in person. Paperwork can be vague at best, especially immigration wise.

Yes my husband is 47, he was married previously, and for the past 8 years has helped his sister raise her children after the death of his brother-n-law.  He is kind, loving, and extremely generous and comes from a family that supports our marriage and who have accepted me into their family with an open heart.    He is one of 9, and he has two other brothers who are single, in their 40's and no one is scolding them for never being married and seemingly having no desire to.  He has two siblings married to wives of another culture; Italian and USC.  What is norm and expected by his family, is that he is happy.   Though I agree that religion and culture play a huge part for many, it really is a dis-service to generalize everyone.   I went into my relationship and marriage with my eyes wide open.

 

My marriage was in Morocco.  My wedding was celebrated with the entire family present.  It wasn't an easy process and very time consuming and tedious.   Mixed marriages are not easy and there are a lot of hoops and paperwork that must be done.  We were told from the get go, it may take a weeks or up to a couple  months.  Luck was on my side though, our process went smoothly and we were married within 7 days of starting the process.  It may help that I am also Muslim.    

 

As for the paperwork, you are right, it is vague.  We were not privileged t the conversation so we don't really know if something else happened.  But I have answered my questions based on what I do know.  As we go through the process I am sure if there is something else to show up, it will.

 

I appreciate your insight Sparkles.

[TBoneTX 45,265]

13 hours ago, KimberlyNMustpha said:

What are all of you doing to help with the passing of time???

Kimberly, it's not easy for anyone.  It's the classic "hurry up & wait."

The Off Topic forum has some recent threads on the subject, and there have been many more previously.

Keep the faith, utilize this website, and remember that "if we do not hang together," we'll feel hung out to dry.

[VickeySis 318]

13 hours ago, KimberlyNMustpha said:

Good Afternoon.   Yes, that is the only reason.  I have a copy of his paperwork.  When they went through his belongings they found his birth certificate, divorce papers, and other documents that we needed for the I-129F.  Said he shouldn't have come to the US on a B1/B2 visa, knowing he was planning to get engaged/married.  They did not believe that after his 6 month stay he would be returning to Morocco.  Additionally, they said the $5000 was not enough for the 6 month stay.  In his paperwork he also had confirmation from me about sponsoring him financially and housing him.  I spoke directly to the CBP agent, they called me to confirm his story and that he was coming to my home.  6 hours later they called me to tell me he was not entering the US.  No other reason.

 

4 days later when he returned home and faxed me his paperwork, I hired an immigration lawyer (after consulting several from here).  Had we called a lawyer while he was still retained in Philadelphia he may not have been sent back.  I didn't know to do that, and they told me they sent him back that evening.  (They actually detained him in Philadelphia for 2 days).

 

Lawyer said that his religion and region of the world he comes from could have played into this. I hope that is not the case, either way, we are dealing with misguided administrative policies these days.  By the way, my husband never overstayed previous visits.  He has a USC brother in Dallas, who has been here for 28 years.

 

It's a catch 22.  He is given up to 6 months to visa on B1/B2, but they questioned his 6 month visit.....(which he had done previously) - Yet they later will want us to prove our relationship legit, but don't want to afford couples the opportunity to immerse into the family.  I am looking at the many blessings that surround me, I am just getting impatient.  I pray for patience.

 

 

I am sorry that you all are going thru this. If your lawyer actually stated Fuentes to husband location and religion I suggest getting another attorney. Morocco was the first country in the world to recognize the US as being its own country (desperate from Britain) the Moroccan US tied a are very strong. Hillary Clinton grandfather is from Morocco. There is a TON of facts to give..I have been thru this process with morocco believe me it has nothing to do with religion and the country. 

 

Good luck!

[MyJourney 276]

10 hours ago, sparkles_ said:

Actually, and I'm sorry to say, the embassies already frequently generalize this based on true facts/experiences of those who came before us and the dirt they did to others to get here. There is a reason certain countries have an Everest-like climb to get a visa, any many of them are in the MENA area when it comes to male beneficiaries. 

 

Yet I'm not offended by the before statement, I'm married to a Moroccan and I'm older by 4yr, but we are still in our late 20s and early 30s. We have two kids, we share the same non-English language and faith....yet I stay telling women to be careful, so and so. I'm Moroccan American and believe me, because I'm not 100% white American, I saw the real thinking of what would happen when a local guy wants an older semi-local girl.....the family aren't generally big fans of it nor is society because its culturally abnormal.

 

My own Moroccan husband will tell anyone, see a young Moroccan man with an legit older woman, they all know what is typically up......not always, but typically. 

So you basically married a MENA "macho man"  4 years younger than yourself and still have the skin to judge others?

[JayMar2019 2,741]

9 hours ago, KimberlyNMustpha said:

No apologies necessary.  I have been hesitant for many months to post to  this forum because of the acronyms and jargon that is often used and many generalizations.  I am in no way an expert to give advise and obviously have no idea about my own.   In my depression of being separated I just saw today as an opportunity to say hello, and  share a little bit about what's going on for me.  I just was not prepared for what happened next.   

 

Ironically in my greetings I asked what others were doing to survive the wait.....I've received advise on everything but what I have come to this forum for.  So I appreciate your sharing your finance's horrible experience (makes me feel not alone) and reinforcing the need for patience.  Thank you for that.

 

My case has been filed with the help of an experienced immigration attorney who deals with bans.  The process has never been painted as rosy and fun, but all of the information and advice shared by the attorney and other attorney's I had consulted have been consistent.  I can only share what was documented in the interview papers at POE.  If something else occurred during this then it was not documented properly.  Either way, we've put that episode behind us and are moving forward.

The only other advice I can provide other than patience is to not put blame on one another because what's done is done and since you two are choosing to continue and fight this out together, remember that constant communication is important and support of each other's feelings in this whole process because it is definitely not an easy one. Try not to lose focus on what's at the finish line which is you two being together for the rest of your lives. Keep the outsiders out of your relationship because their opinions don't matter and will make you feel worse and negatively affect your relationship. If you can visit more often than of course do that but your husband has to be understanding that you do still have a life in the US that you must maintain. Lastly, remember that this process is not for the weak, and if there's no foundation then your relationship will not make it. This process shows exactly how much you truly love your partner and if you can make it through this you can make it anything.

Edited May 2, 2018 by Trinab80

[MyJourney 276]

8 hours ago, KimberlyNMustpha said:

My marriage was in Morocco.  My wedding was celebrated with the entire family present.  It wasn't an easy process and very time consuming and tedious.   Mixed marriages are not easy and there are a lot of hoops and paperwork that must be done.  We were told from the get go, it may take a weeks or up to a couple  months.  Luck was on my side though, our process went smoothly and we were married within 7 days of starting the process.  It may help that I am also Muslim.    

Vaaleykum selam sister Kimberly. I have read some your posts and I can feel that you are sincere. I am sorry about what happened, I hope you and your husband will overcome these hardships sooner than later. It is another test on your way and I wish you guys patience in this process. 
 

[sparkles_ 456]

1 hour ago, MyJourney said:

So you basically married a MENA "macho man"  4 years younger than yourself and still have the skin to judge others?

Nope, I don't judge anyone. There are enough horror stories out there to do that without any one of us saying it again.

 

Mine also isn't macho, LOL. I actually told this OP, don't be triggered by this stuff (if you go re-read), because it is based off hard truth. If she is triggered, it speaks volumes about her own deep fears most likely. 

Edited May 2, 2018 by sparkles_

[Boiler 45,466]

Seems OP has spent some time in Country and must be aware of local norms, now I have not but a lady I know spent sometime there finishing her PHD and joked about it. There is a local term which I forget.

[sparkles_ 456]

Just now, Boiler said:

Seems OP has spent some time in Country and must be aware of local norms, now I have not but a lady I know spent sometime there finishing her PHD and joked about it. There is a local term which I forget.

In French it is called "passing military service", that is the term and verbiage you are most likely thinking of.