Going to difficult times

[Tram Le 26]

It sounds like you are living in chronic worry and fear. You deserve better. He changed and he is not a good man. Be careful, divorce him and stay safe, dont ever stay alone. He is violent you should not be with me. It is your life, you have to be happy, should not liVing in fear. Stay strong and make a good decision . 

[Highmystic 234]

23 hours ago, sophia88 said:

 I'm not sure, anyone reading this please advise on what should I do besides contact divorce lawyer. He is living with me and I live in a studio, and I try to be nice to him because I'm actually afraid of him. One time he joked that he is able to throw me out of the window, it seemed like a joke but I'm really scared.

 

I certainly feel for your situation, and it must be very hard to deal with.  In some states, domestic violence can be a felony.

I have seen people arrested for domestic violence for shouting,  or not being allowed to use the phone to call police.  If you call police, be sure to get a restraining order as he may not be too happy getting arrested.  On the i-129 it asks about domestic violence etc.  If he gets arrested it may bar him from that 2nd GC and kicked out.  I agree with others here, it would not be wise to be alone with him once you get the ball rolling.  Always have a witness! 

[JeffreyKilmichael 0]

Until stumble upon this topic,

I feel for you, as well remind me about myself, (if without your mentioned dates, I would assume it was posted from my ex-wife:))

 

To answer your Question Directly: Yes, you do have more options! Reunited again! If you believe and confident this marriage is for love!

 

Maybe you should dig the roots and try to find out if he is genuine in marriage. We are all adults, I don't know much of your story, neither I believe you would marry someone from China easily, especially if you are native born and raised. Because no one will marry a stranger, right?

 

I hope soon he realize what he is doing, and you two can get back together again. I think the whole point to be married is to make a commitment guard by life, from the beginning to the day die. Forgive and reunion. If not, you two are inevitable to be separated, I wish you can have a smooth divorce.

 

If all doesn't work out, move to somewhere safe and obtain divorce, depending on state you are in, hire a lawyer, ask lawyer do it in the meditation style so you don't have to see him again, when both mutual satisfied, proceed to court, your marriage will be ended in no time. I could be wrong, but like I said depending on state you are in, at least this is what I experienced.

 

If you will, you can continue reading on my story that happened few years ago.

 

 I'm originally from China, few years ago came on F-1 visa until I met my ex-wife on campus, later became a permanent resident. At time we were married purely by love, or maybe we were too young to naive. Not long after I got my green card, my ex-wife started cheating on me rampantly, threaten to throw me out of country. Because she met her classmate from high school and suddenly changed her mind.

I still freshly remember after all these, I still forgave her. The last day I seen her at our house, she gave me a hug and never returned. A day later I through she might spent few nights at her dad's house. At time, it was our wedding anniversary. I brought her an brand new Audi A4 she always wants, to surprise her. But just after a day I brought the Audi, in the morning someone was knocking on the door, I thought it was her! About to surprise her! But after opened the door, I found a deputy sheriff at my door with divorce petition accusing me being violent, lied about marriage, e.t.c, all false accuse! With conditions to awards her all my properties. Alone with an restraining order that banished me from my own house! Gladly, I found a good lawyer, fought restraining order in court. When she realized her false accuse had no chance of winning what she wants, we both signed dissolution of marriage.

 

Afterward, I worked and lived in a remnant of lament, to a point sorrow pushed me to leave. So I left US before my green card expired, never returned since then. During this time, sometimes I wonder if divorce and married with another man made her eventually happy?

I may never get an enclosure of her abruptly arbitrary to her vow of marriage, to my loyalty, to life we shared together.

 

 I agree she need to be safe. But I don't understand why everyone on this topic without more further information but straight suggesting end up their marriage? In a failing marriage, Are men in marriage default to be deemed as perpetrators, while women are victims? Or is he a Chinese immigrant? Double negative will not make a positive! Cheers! 

[RLA 323]

On 2.5.2018 at 8:21 PM, JeffreyKilmichael said:

I agree she need to be safe. But I don't understand why everyone on this topic without more further information but straight suggesting end up their marriage? In a failing marriage, Are men in marriage default to be deemed as perpetrators, while women are victims?

Saving a marriage requires lots of communication and lots of common effort.  That's difficult in the best of circumstances, but almost impossible in a situation like this where she's afraid of him, afraid for her physical safety.  That doesn't necessarily mean that he's the perpetrator.  (Some people have pointed out that it might be a cultural thing.)  But her being afraid of him means that there's no basis left from which they'd be able to rebuild their relationship. 

[mymarley 14]

Yelling is very common to us asian.