Going to difficult times

[Jane89 4]

Hi, I am going through difficult times during my marriage. My situation might be different from most people here: I am the petitioner and US Citizen, and my husband (from China) came to US on a k-1 visa during 2016, and he received the conditional green card during February of 2017. However, I am not happy in the marriage, I feel that my husband changed after we get married, he gets angry and annoyed very easily, from small things including make fun of my appearance and clothes to major issues such as yelling during arguments. I am afraid to argue with him because he acted very violent during argument and one time he almost hit me. I am afraid to mention divorce because of argument again. I have contacted a lawyer on Friday night and waiting for response on Monday. Every time we disagree on something he would yell and scream without listening me explaining my views. Sometimes I doubt that he married me only because he wants to get permanent US green card, and now our marriage is not 2 year yet and he will need to petition for removal of conditional green card and need my signature. It could be that he hates me from beginning and 2 year is too long a time for him to pretend? I'm not sure, anyone reading this please advise on what should I do besides contact divorce lawyer. He is living with me and I live in a studio, and I try to be nice to him because I'm actually afraid of him. One time he joked that he is able to throw me out of the window, it seemed like a joke but I'm really scared.

 

[Roel 7,192]

File for divorce immediately and move to the safe place. Maybe friends or families house. Call the police next time you argue and you don't feel safe. Dunno how restraining orders work, but maybe try that route and kick him out of the house.

 

Do not sign anything. I'd say try to NOT be alone with him at all, or you might be stuck with false vawa claim.

 

Trust me, situations like yours are described on this forum pretty regularly. Unfortunately.

[Crazy Cat 41,922]

1. Stay safe

2.  File for divorce

3.  Move on with your life and seek happiness

 

 

[Boiler 45,584]

Divorce

[Jane89 4]

Thanks everyone for your response. I am seeking a divorce now, I emailed a lawyer and waiting for response, will call the office on Monday.

 

I should've thought more before I got married. Every single time, I am not exaggerating, every time I say something he disagrees with, he would yell at me and tell me that I'm the worst person he ever known, he often say I should be ashamed of myself.

 

I feel that now he just wants to stay together so he can get the condition removed for his green card. It is very clear that he doesn't even like me, and the fact that he doesn't mention divorce makes me doubt him.

 

 

[Boiler 45,584]

He can remove conditions with a divorce waiver.

[Jane89 4]

Yes, he can remove conditions with divorce waiver, he knows that. I will let the lawyer tell him that too. However, I think that he worries about approving that our marriage is real. We didn't have wedding, we are over 30 and no kids, no joint property. (he was married before and divorced with one child). Also we don't have many pictures together, only one or two I think... although there are many pictures from before marriage.

[kris&me 572]

protect yourself

stay safe

if you own the house, call 911 and have him put out

you can go to a neighbor's and call if you are afraid to call from there 

just get out and worry about immigration later

he can not do ROC without u and don't think to change your mind if he acts sweet to you now as it would be just for the green card

[Umka36 781]

9 minutes ago, sophia88 said:

Yes, he can remove conditions with divorce waiver, he knows that. I will let the lawyer tell him that too. However, I think that he worries about approving that our marriage is real. We didn't have wedding, we are over 30 and no kids, no joint property. (he was married before and divorced with one child). Also we don't have many pictures together, only one or two I think... although there are many pictures from before marriage.

ROC with a divorce waiver is his issue.

[CEE53147 559]

If you are afraid for your safety, GO TO A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SHELTER!  (Yes I am yelling!)  There is nothing more important at this time.

[JFH 12,190]

1 hour ago, kris&me said:

he can not do ROC without u 

Oh yes he can. 

 

Not much for the OP to do now in terms of immigration. He's here. He has his green card. He can stay. He can eventually get citizenship. That's how it goes. Focus should now be on staying safe and moving on without him in her life. 

[Boiler 45,584]

1 hour ago, kris&me said:

if you own the house, call 911 and have him put out

Also wrong

[betelgeuse 5]

Unfortunately, such things happen more often than you think. My husband is UScitizen, months after I came to him and we got married - he is an absolutely different person,  abusive and violent.

The best thing you can do is ensure your safety, divorce and move on. Let him figure out his immigration stuff on his own, it's his problem now.

But like others mentioned, try to avoid contact with him or he might file false VAWA case. Make sure you stay calm in your fights if you can't avoid it, so he can't accuse you of what you didn't do.

[Boiler 45,584]

3 minutes ago, betelgeuse said:

Unfortunately, such things happen more often than you think. My husband is UScitizen, months after I came to him and we got married - he is an absolutely different person,  abusive and violent.

The best thing you can do is ensure your safety, divorce and move on. Let him figure out his immigration stuff on his own, it's his problem now.

But like others mentioned, try to avoid contact with him or he might file false VAWA case. Make sure you stay calm in your fights if you can't avoid it, so he can't accuse you of what you didn't do.

He has his GC.

[Jane89 4]

Thank you for everyone's response. I am contacting divorce lawyers now.

Once I let him know that he can actually apply Form I-751 on his own by just applying a waiver, and he got angry, he said why I always try talking about separation or divorce. ... Well, we are miserable around each other, why not a divorce... And it would be better for me if he agrees to a divorce so we can get it done quickly. Regarding the green card, he will send the application on his own, whether it will be easy or difficult is his own problem.