Help! Am I not able to visit my family once I enter the us

[mrmvkjts 459]

Well...first of all, I don‘t quite get your problem. maybe it‘s because I was never too stressed about leaving my family when living abroad, or it‘s maybe a different approach.

 

You are JUST leaving your family. you wanted this. You prepared for this. I know it‘s not easy but you also knew what‘s gonna come. Also, it‘s not that you can‘t travel back there ever...but for the first few months and in this time it‘s skype and facetime. Or have them visit, I saw you‘re from canada..should be fairly easy I guess

 

But what I don‘t understand is...why you want to go travel back and forth? don‘t u wanna adjust and feel comfortable in your new home?

If you‘r family is making you feel guilty, tell them it doesn‘t help. You‘re not doing anything wrong!

[Nevad@ 26]

3 hours ago, Scandi said:

Just assuming you're talking about entering on a K-1 visa.. this is yet another thing that is negative about that particular visa. If it doesn't suit you, you should choose the CR-1 visa instead.

 

Many people just seem to pick the K-1 visa without doing proper research, and then they get upset and call it "unfair" when they later realize that it wasn't the best choice on their part. But instead of blaming themselves for not doing enough research and planning, they wrongfully blame the immigration system/process.

Preach it Scandi. So true! !!

 

People panic, when all they should have done is read carefully and research each and every step of the process.

 

I mean, we are adults...Generally, no matter how close you are with your family, it should not be hard to wait for 5-6 months (sometimes less) until you can travel and see them. They also can travel to you, if now way you can go.

 

I also think that the family must be understanding and know that there is so much to take care of when you get to a country and start a new life, that you need to focus on those things and get your paperwork done, get to spend time with your husband, get accustomed to the new culture and etc. , and not assume you are coming to visit as soon as you get there... I see a lot of questions like that asked on different forums , and I get asked a lot of questions like that when people find out about what my process is going to be and literally the first thing they ask is "when are you going to visit your fam?".  

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

9 hours ago, Julia80 said:

Nope. I found it quite rude. Telling someone they may have basically made the wrong decision if travelling is “that important” just seems extremely uncalled for especially when going through the emotional turmoil of this process. Sorry if I read it differently to what this poster meant but if I was the OP, I would have been upset by that comment.

How is it rude when speaking the truth, speaking the truth to someone is never rude at all. @Illiria said it plainly and said it right that if the OP was more concerned about being able to visit family anytime after entering she/he should have gone the CR-1 route instead of the K1 visa.

 

Immigration is not about rose gardens or feelings and quite frankly it's a hard thing to deal with. So by sugar coating something for an individual does them no good at all in the long run. So being frank with someone is the best course of action always.

[yuna628 9,677]

It's always hard to leave behind family and friends. People do this stateside all the time though when they get married, get their own place, or move to a dorm. Immigration will make the distance between you and the family greater, but we are advanced enough in society to provide options of communication. Technology will give you the ability to speak and see your family every single day if you want to.

 

K1 and CR1 visas are different in the ability that they give you to do some things and not others. If you don't thoroughly examine those abilities, you aren't weighing the process properly. My husband lost his grandmother and his aunt within a few months after his arrival. He couldn't attend their funerals as he was a K1. His sibling, distraught enough, was mad he didn't come. She didn't understand the process or care, she just wanted things 'normal' again... we wanted to come, but we couldn't. Since 2015, and the exception of his parents visiting last year, we have not seen his entire family or friends or dog. We likely won't see them for a while still, because flights are expensive. I watch my little nieces and nephew keep growing and we feel old. They do understand though. We all have people we love dearly... but this is the process we must go through for the path we have chosen.

 

If your family is intentionally offering guilt your direction, it is not appropriate. They will understandably have to go through the process of adjusting to a new reality, but all of you need to utilize technology to keep the lines of communication open. That makes it easier in a huge way. Don't fool yourself that you won't have moments of sadness or feel that you won't miss them, because you will. It's normal. But don't allow guilt to cloud your judgment of what YOU want with your life.

[Crazy Cat 41,898]

Unfortunately, sometimes short term pain is necessary to gain long term happiness.  Life is full of decision making based on our priorities.....Good luck...

 

 

[doggieandsam 765]

18 hours ago, Julia80 said:

That’s not fair to say, in fact it’s quite a horrible thing to say.

i guess it depends on how you perceive the previous comment. I don't think it is horrible to say that the K1 visa is not the best path if traveling and visiting family is very important to OP. it was blunt, yes, but how does stating the truth make it unfair or horrible?

[BRENTWOOD 14]

Hello To All,

 

I wanted to say thanks so much for the replies. I appreciate all of them. It is hard for me to get support from people who aren't fully going through the process because it's hard for them to understand. They aren't the ones giving up Canada. I have taken the seeds through your posts and used them to help me grow and get stronger through this process so thank you for your replies they mean a lot to me considering a bunch of strangers take the time to show some support.... I can't even believe this exists. 

It's not that I didn't research the K1 process I definitely was aware from the beginning but as time goes on and I am closer and closer to moving within two weeks I guess a sense of panic does start to set in. Regardless of how much I could have researched any path I knew when the time came I would get very stressed and emotional. I guess I can compare it to when you go for a medical exam and they say you can't eat anything it is exactly like this, the second you are limited to do something you just miss it that much more.

 

I guess I am just grateful to have the advice from people who know the process. I am just very tied up in a family company and have one sister, my family is extremely close, so this hasn't been an easy process, but you are right I chose this process I need to deal with the consequences. We were supposed to take over the company our whole life so it has been quite a drastic change for our family. They don't mean to guilt me but it does definitely happen... they don't see how the things they say make me sick with guilt. I feel It feels good to know I am not alone. I am grateful and all I just wish I didn't have to wait a year to see my family but this is what I chose. You are right.

 

Thank you everyone

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

On 4/11/2018 at 3:07 PM, NovaDC said:

I am a K1 Visa holder and currently on the process of adjusting my status. Not able to go home( or let me say go back to the US)without an AP or green card( which you have to wait) has a benefit. It helps an immigrant to get used to the whole new life in this country and the married life. It also helps you to cope with homesickness. Coz if I could just fly back and fro easily to my country everytime I feel homesick,it will take a whole lot of time for me to adjust here. I really understand how you feel, it's not easy. But you just need to find joy in your new life here. Spend quality time with your spouse,learn a new hobby, try to learn new American cuisines, in short occupy your mind. When the time comes that you can go home to your country and come back here freely, you have already adapted your new life here and maybe you will be calling here your new ''home''.

 

19 hours ago, mrmvkjts said:

 

 

But what I don‘t understand is...why you want to go travel back and forth? don‘t u wanna adjust and feel comfortable in your new home?

If you‘r family is making you feel guilty, tell them it doesn‘t help. You‘re not doing anything wrong!

I totally get these responses- you need to embrace your new life and keeping one foot back home always makes it harder to adapt and adjust.  

 

And Canada will be so much easier to visit than many other immigrants have to put up with... it takes us  2 long haul flights and 26 hours or so, this is the shortest route, to get back home (or more correctly, what used to be home).