Divorce Rate for USC/immigrant marriages

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

I actually completely disagree with the notion that a non-American is an easier relationship than an American. Mostly because you are typically factoring in significant long distance circumstances and additional stressors, such as the process most of us are going through, and frustrating waiting periods. People have asked me before why didn't I just find a nice American guy because it'd be sooOooOoo much easier (), but it's because that isn't the point. Nobody should settle for anything - American or otherwise - simply because it's "easier" than the alternative.

 

As others have said - if you're already in the K1 process, you should already be sure and not sure why those thoughts/statistics even really matter. Divorce rates in America are high in general - and that's just Americans with other Americans, so I feel like that's sort of an invalid argument.

 

People who are saying they'd kick your *** for this....? I'm sorry, are these REAL friends? Because that doesn't sound like it to me.

 

I have relatives who have problems with me marrying my fiancé. For one, he's not American, and for two, he isn't white. It was disappointing to learn people you care about can be so close minded. But in the end, it doesn't dictate or control my choices or who I'm spending the rest of my life with, and if you and your partner are truly and authentically in love and want to live a life together, then it shouldn't matter to you, either.

 

Let go of the negativity and do what makes you happy - it's your life!

[dentsflogged 352]

12 hours ago, Paul & Mallory said:

I actually completely disagree with the notion that a non-American is an easier relationship than an American. Mostly because you are typically factoring in significant long distance circumstances and additional stressors, such as the process most of us are going through, and frustrating waiting periods. People have asked me before why didn't I just find a nice American guy because it'd be sooOooOoo much easier (), but it's because that isn't the point. Nobody should settle for anything - American or otherwise - simply because it's "easier" than the alternative.

 

As others have said - if you're already in the K1 process, you should already be sure and not sure why those thoughts/statistics even really matter. Divorce rates in America are high in general - and that's just Americans with other Americans, so I feel like that's sort of an invalid argument.

 

People who are saying they'd kick your *** for this....? I'm sorry, are these REAL friends? Because that doesn't sound like it to me.

 

I have relatives who have problems with me marrying my fiancé. For one, he's not American, and for two, he isn't white. It was disappointing to learn people you care about can be so close minded. But in the end, it doesn't dictate or control my choices or who I'm spending the rest of my life with, and if you and your partner are truly and authentically in love and want to live a life together, then it shouldn't matter to you, either.

 

Let go of the negativity and do what makes you happy - it's your life!

OMG I have heard "why can't you find a nice guy in Australia?" SO MANY TIMES.  I honestly want to scream sometimes. 

I've started responding with "Well, why didn't YOU find a nice person other than your current partner?" - and they all start sputtering and saying "well, he's my partner and I love him, why would I want someone else?" - most of the time they get it, sometimes they're still totally clueless. 

My dad had a big issue to begin with about my partner because he's "taking me away" - my dad died last year, but one of the last things he said to me was to treat my partner well because he's clearly a good man since he makes me so happy.  Hopefully your family gets the memo, too. 

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

11 hours ago, dentsflogged said:

OMG I have heard "why can't you find a nice guy in Australia?" SO MANY TIMES.  I honestly want to scream sometimes. 

I've started responding with "Well, why didn't YOU find a nice person other than your current partner?" - and they all start sputtering and saying "well, he's my partner and I love him, why would I want someone else?" - most of the time they get it, sometimes they're still totally clueless. 

My dad had a big issue to begin with about my partner because he's "taking me away" - my dad died last year, but one of the last things he said to me was to treat my partner well because he's clearly a good man since he makes me so happy.  Hopefully your family gets the memo, too. 

It's one of the most frustrating things!

 

Fortunately, my immediate family were pretty accepting of him and our relationship from the beginning. I know it took them off guard when I came to them and said I met someone....on the other side of the world. lol But they've spent enough time with him now, and treated him like one of their own pretty quickly. My parents have always been a good judge of character, so their opinion definitely mattered to me. Of course... it is easier for them. I'm the American, and Paul is moving here, so they get to have us here by them. I was worried in the beginning that his family wouldn't accept it or wouldn't like me, because I'm "taking him away", but they welcomed me with open arms once I visited and met them. I know not everyone has that, and we're lucky. As for my extended family that has problems... we aren't that close to begin with, to be honest. It still sucks, because I have to witness them praise my sister for her accomplishments in life and be interested in her and what she's doing, while not engaging in mine. But we can't always force people to accept something, even when it matters so much to us.

 

I'm glad your dad said that to you! My grandmother was very unsure about us - I think the whole, international/online thing was just a lot for her to grasp, given her generation. But right before she died, the last thing she said to me about Paul and I was that she wanted me to be happy and it seemed like I am. She really wanted to meet him and never did - I wish she had because I was so sure she'd understand once she met him and saw us together. But they're still with us, I suppose - just in another way