Divorce Rate for USC/immigrant marriages

[Sunnyland 639]

One of the things I see that may increase any divorce rate between couples where one is immigrant (thru K1 or Spouse visa) is that usually people in distant relationships do not have the "benefits' of a mutual daily routine. During these visa processes we tend to be separated for long periods of time so the members of the couple can not get to know each other deeply as other couples can, those that live in the same country/city where they can see each other every day before making the decision of getting married.  And not everyone can afford constant trips to be together while the process last.

 

Not even mentioning that some people decide to jump on the K1-marriage bandwagon after a very short "relationship of weeks (chatting online?) or maybe just after a few days visit and deciding that person is their love of their life when basically they know almost nothing about the other person. They are so blinded by infatuation that can not see the red flags and later ended up being in shock when they discover they were being scammed for a GC. We see these cases every day on VJ. 

[Derik-Lina 230]

4 hours ago, DonMc said:

Hello Folks,,

 

I have read horror stories on the USCIS website and have read of a couple here on the site.

I have friends with successful marriages with immigrants and I have friends that want to "kick my a$$" for even considering it.

Are there any statistics on this subject?

I have a K 1 in progress so I am in.   Would like to get an idea what can be known about this situation.  

 

Thanks for any information you  can provide.  Good luck if you are already married or engaged!  

 

 

Same marital issues as everyone else, but add to that a possibly of "Marriage for green card only", especially if there were red flags.

Having said that; Chances are higher , and my observation has convinced me to say "much" higher.

Forrest sums it best: “My mom always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.”

[Orangesapples 1,954]

4 hours ago, DonMc said:

I agree with that statement with the exception of that I think my chances are actually higher than my chances with a woman from this country..     

If you're marrying a foreigner just because she's a foreigner or because local women don't want you, then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. If you fell in love and she just happened to be a foreigner, that's a totally different story. Being an immigrant is a small part of her identity. You'll need to work on your marriage no matter what 

[dawning 212]

5 hours ago, Roel said:

If you think you have lower chances with women from US - then you're saying that foreigner women has lower standards or they are desperate to live in the US?

There might be a lot of other reasons he thinks this: for example, he might feel he is more compatible with foreign women, or has more shared values with them, or he may imagine they are less likely to seek divorce when things are difficult.  My guess is that neither is true across the board for all foreign women, but perhaps within certain cultural groups these things could be true.  Or maybe he thinks the characteristics he has to offer are more valued in other cultural groups, which again could be true in some cases.

 

Or it could be something else.

 

My answer to the original discussion: I don't know of statistical information on the relative divorce rates, but I do believe that cross cultural relationships present their own special set of challenges, and that perhaps there are quite few people that bring a fiancee or a spouse without being prepared mentally and emotionally for those difficulties.  Also fiancees and spouses that come without being prepared, and have on top of that the culture shock of acclimating to to a new culture in the outside world as well as at home.  But just like any other challenge it can be addressed if both parties are willing to work at it.

 

[zsuzsanna 15]

I agree with one commenter. When you file for K1, you should already be a 100% sure. The foreign partner will have to give up their entire life in their country. It's not that easy to relocate and they can't just go back to how their life was before if you change your mind. 

 

I am divorced while waiting on removing conditions on my green card. One thing I can tell you from experience is that it's more difficult to be married with a foreign spouse simply because there is a transition time that you wouldn't have to deal with with an  American spouse. It will require a lot of patience and commitment from you. It took me about 4 years to fully transition. The foreign spouse has no one, but the American spouse and that can make a lot of people needy and lonely just as the marriage starts out. So don't expect the same what you would get from an American gal. 

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

no matter who you marry (USC or foreigner)  the important thing is taking the time to get to know them / understand all the good and bad things / know what drives you crazy about someone and what things you can overlook / this is why immigration puts so much value on faceitme 

it is hard to know someone until you actually live with them

so,  from all of us, as we chose this route to do the immigration red tape to marry and trust our hearts,   we understand why you,  also have decided to do this

but your chances,  either way,  are just as good with a USC as with an immigrant

it is what you both put into a relationship

if one fails,  the marriage fails and you can't hold on to someone who no longer wants you

but most of us go thru a long process and a lot of money and the heartbreak of being apart for so long,   so just put time and love into it

who can resist real love and commitment? 

not the overbearing kind but the kind that lets each of you mature in time

[Ivy. 113]

I’ve never read any official statistic on this, but I’d love to. If I were to do a completely unscientific guess, though - I would say lower divorce rates (excluding fake marriages or other scams for the paperwork), since there is so much $hit you have to go through to actually be together.

[Calicolom 266]

I think it depends allot on where they are from.

[ImagineMe 35]

8 hours ago, Roel said:

If you think you have lower chances with women from US - then you're saying that foreigner women has lower standards or they are desperate to live in the US?

I think that this could be due to different countries being more fascinated and/or open to someone that isnt from their own origin. Also could be that the benefit of the doubt is given more because of the language barriers that are sometimes present.

[DonMc 11]

2 hours ago, dawning said:

There might be a lot of other reasons he thinks this: for example, he might feel he is more compatible with foreign women, or has more shared values with them, or he may imagine they are less likely to seek divorce when things are difficult.  My guess is that neither is true across the board for all foreign women, but perhaps within certain cultural groups these things could be true.  Or maybe he thinks the characteristics he has to offer are more valued in other cultural groups, which again could be true in some cases.

 

Or it could be something else.

 

My answer to the original discussion: I don't know of statistical information on the relative divorce rates, but I do believe that cross cultural relationships present their own special set of challenges, and that perhaps there are quite few people that bring a fiancee or a spouse without being prepared mentally and emotionally for those difficulties.  Also fiancees and spouses that come without being prepared, and have on top of that the culture shock of acclimating to to a new culture in the outside world as well as at home.  But just like any other challenge it can be addressed if both parties are willing to work at it.

 

 

2 hours ago, dawning said:

There might be a lot of other reasons he thinks this: for example, he might feel he is more compatible with foreign women, or has more shared values with them, or he may imagine they are less likely to seek divorce when things are difficult.  My guess is that neither is true across the board for all foreign women, but perhaps within certain cultural groups these things could be true.  Or maybe he thinks the characteristics he has to offer are more valued in other cultural groups, which again could be true in some cases.

 

Or it could be something else.

 

My answer to the original discussion: I don't know of statistical information on the relative divorce rates, but I do believe that cross cultural relationships present their own special set of challenges, and that perhaps there are quite few people that bring a fiancee or a spouse without being prepared mentally and emotionally for those difficulties.  Also fiancees and spouses that come without being prepared, and have on top of that the culture shock of acclimating to to a new culture in the outside world as well as at home.  But just like any other challenge it can be addressed if both parties are willing to work at it.

 

AMEN!

[kris&me 572]

to do a scientific study someone would have to have access to all our infromation in violation of the security laws

after a case leaves USCIS and goes to NVC even USCIS can not access it

same when it goes to the embassy,  NVC can not access it

HOmeland Security keeps track thru computers of the immigrants coming into the country but not our marriages unless we have to ROC or AOS

and then,  can you even imagine the work load to try to create what you are asking for with over 6 million applications a year? (not all marriage of course)

Getting the info from each K1 and CR1 and contacting the people to do a survey especially when people are scared to answer personal quesitons to a total stranger 

no way could you contact all these marriages and complete a chart

[Neonred 3,609]

6 hours ago, sparkles_ said:

 

Exercise common sense in your choice of partner (i.e. don't be blinded to any red flags), and you shall be fine.

And get a good prenup.

[JFH 12,191]

It doesn't matter how many others get divorced. They are not you. Let's say 100 people apply for a job but there is only one vacancy. You are one of the 100 applicants. Statistically there's a 99% chance you won't get it. But let's say you get the job. You had 100% success with your application and others had 100% failure. The statistics mean nothing when dealing with individual, unrelated outcomes. Maybe you'll get divorced. Maybe you won't. The outcome will be based on you and you alone and not statistics. We are not flipping coins here. Unlike chance statistics you are able to control the outcome. 

[dentsflogged 352]

11 hours ago, Roel said:

If you think you have lower chances with women from US - then you're saying that foreigner women has lower standards or they are desperate to live in the US?

TBH I've always guessed that people (generally men) who make comments like this have unrealistic expectations in their partners.  I spoke to one or two men from Australia who have gone the "mail order bride" route and specifically looked for women of Asian or Eastern European origin because they "know how to treat their men" which based on watching their interactions translates into "will be a doormat, acquiesce to all my demands despite me meeting none of their needs except room & board, and be the perfect early-century meme of a housewife by cooking, cleaning & being enthusiastic in bed without a word of complaint"

I know it's a generalisation based on a few bad eggs, but I've always said that "some stereotypes are commonly accepted for a reason"

 

As for OP's original question: It doesn't, and shouldn't, matter. 

I agree with another poster who pointed out that divorce was much less common back in the day because people worked harder on staying together. There wasn't the generally accepted "well, it just didn't work out" because people made it work. Now obviously I don't think people in abusive or neglectful marriages should stay together, but when you're not happy for no specific reason, that's the time to really knuckle down with your partner and work to fix it, not just shrug and say "I guess I'll get a divorce and see if that changes" but that's just my opinion and since I'm not in anyone else's relationship, I can only talk about my own experiences and how I think/feel in regards to marriage. 

Edited April 10, 2018 by dentsflogged

[dirtyhippiegirl 85]

I think of all the posters who were around here when I first started posting - 12 years ago - most of the ones I still follow are divorced. Husband and I will have been married 11 years this summer but it wasn't always an easy road.