I Feel Useless

[TracyTN 237]

mmm ok, just call me the THREAD KILLER!!!!!!!! MWhahahahaha.

[pax 0]

I kill threads in OT all the time!

*hug* Tracy *hug*

[gimygirl 0]

muahahahahaha!!!! do you mind if i still call you b!tch!??! you're my favorite!

i'm a bit under the weather today and fell asleep!!! but we won't let this thread die .... we still have 21 days at least!

[tamarae 0]

Hugs for Abby!

You'll be just fine. Just lay back and daydream about how glorious it'll be when he's finally there to hug and kiss again. It'll soothe any uncertainty. Remember, if you both didnt love each other, neither of you would be in this position, so dont worry about things too much.

I would call C while he was packing up and try to keep up with what he was doing, what he was packing, but without seeming intrusive. I just liked to know how much he'd accomplished, and I was quite proud. I know there was so much to do. There's no way I could have done all of that if it were me relocating. I had a hard enough time taking a new job and moving house to a city 2 hours away

As for AoS and closet space, I think you're way ahead of us already and Ewen isnt even there yet! C's been here for almost 3 months now and he still has almost half a closet and 1 drawer in the dresser.. lol!

Hang in there Abby! The wait is nearly over and it'll all be good very soon. If ya need more moral support, feel free to toss me a msg. I can tell you all about how utterly stressed I was up until his plane landed here.

--Shawna

[TracyTN 237]

muahahahahaha!!!! do you mind if i still call you b!tch!??! you're my favorite!

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!

If you didn't, I'd be totally crushed!! (And I would think I was losing my edge!!!

Edited March 27, 2006 by TracyTN

[pax 0]

It's not that Ewen is a "mama's boy" who can't look after himself; I don't want to give that impression. It's that the closer we get, the more I feel like it's not that he has mixed feelings--it's that the feelings aren't mixed. Like I'm ripping him kicking and screaming away from Scotland. Like in the end, this is going to drive us apart because there's no way I can show him what this means to me, or give him the life we want to have.

I'm sorry to be using this space to vent, but no one else knows what I'm going through and I can't explain it to anyone else. I can't make this any better for him and everything I think is helpful is not. I feel like I will never be able to make him happy if he comes here. And I don't know how to make things right.

[TracyTN 237]

Oh goodness, Abby. I hope you know that you can absolutely use this space to vent. We are all here to listen and help if we can.

Why do you think you won't be able to give him the life that you want to have, or that you won't be able to make him happy? You may know the answer to this (and feel free not to share the answer if you don't want to) - but are these worries based on your assumptions, or what he has actually said? If its just your assumptions and/or fears, TALK to him about it. If its something he has said, then you still need to talk but the conversation may be completely different.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense but I am trying to write with about 20 people having a loud conversation behind me.

[Jenn! 918]

Sounds like you're beating yourself up over something that is mostly out of your control.

I think it's difficult as the USC to not feel personally responsible if your SO is unhappy once they arrive in the U.S. But I think there's really very little you can do that will have major impact. Of course preparing for his arrival is important, and he will surely appreciate your efforts, but there's nothing you can do that is going to guarantee a smooth transition.

I had the same thoughts too. But my feeling is: I'm young, Wadi's young. If things don't work out for us here, there are always other options - we could move back to Morocco, or to Europe...

If you take on the huge burden of being personally responsible for Ewen's happiness based solely on the fact that you are "ripping" him from his home country, I think you will drive yourself crazy. It is both of your jobs to make each other happy - and that's going to require as much from Ewen in his efforts to adjust as it will from you in your efforts to help him do that.

Just remember - nothing will be the end of the world.

[TracyTN 237]

Excellent post, jenn.