USC Marriage Fraud experience and what would I do different

[MeAlone 161]

9 minutes ago, MariekeH said:

 

So next time you would not take your fiancé into your home, and you would put cameras in the place you'd be renting? Sounds like a great way to start married life...

 

I think it's better to stick to your other idea to never bring a foreign fiancé to the US again.

 

From what you have shared, there were so many red flags that you should have picked up on. There seems to have been a complete lack of common sense. And I believe common sense is all that a US citizen and his/her foreign spouse need to have a successful marriage (besides love, of course).

Don't accuse me about what I would do because it did NOT happen, just reflection on this matter.

 

Don't accuse me about red flags, no red flags before he came and even before he married me, then red flags and abuse I was thinking I can deal with them and it's the immigration adjustment but I was already watching trying to understand what's going on and why he left so fast, then his family and his women told me some information about his way to live.

 

I am NOT asking for your support or anybody's support here. I am writing for all good and honest Americans who went through similar situation or who are aware about fraud and wish to be prepared when they decide to go the visa marriage way. So keep your sick weird imagination about me being a bad abusive American to yourself. I am a former immigrant myself.

Edited April 5, 2018 by MeAlone

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

6 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

He tried, he was acting like somebody was giving him the advice to go VAWA, he tried to upset me for nothing, was pushing me, throwing to floor once, very angry and scary, I was scared of him, he was smiling asking me to call the police on him. I am a very calm person, slow, not reacting and also I was thinking he is not adapting easy, I didn't know he was mad his woman was denied visa and she was threatening him with police and kidnapping her child. But I never called the police on him thinking I didn't bring him to send him to jail, I need to help him, he is depressed new immigrant, not easy to adapt, I was staying away giving him all the space he needed and he was teaching the baby to beat me, to close the door on me.

 

Kind of sounds like you have your own issues to work out with a therapist before entering the dating world again.  We have to be whole and have self-respect before we can find healthy relationships. 

[MeAlone 161]

2 minutes ago, N-o-l-a said:

 

Kind of sounds like you have your own issues to work out with a therapist before entering the dating world again.  We have to be whole and have self-respect before we can find healthy relationships. 

Lol, I know now you will diagnose me online. Please, put attention to your own psychological issues. Why do you assume so fast about the person you do NOT KNOW AT ALL.

[MeAlone 161]

48 minutes ago, Texas stylist said:

I own a hair salon for 20 years and I can tell you 99% of the horror stories were with American men and women. And I can write a book alone and retire on the things I have heard. Marriage is a gamble and if it wasn’t we wouldn’t have divorce rate hire than 70% in this country. You can’t blame that on the K1 visa 

Totally agree!

[Marcelina 246]

I have also noticed a pattern. Not only with USC/foreigner couples but also back in my country. Some people seems to have very poor luck with relationships, constantly falling for a wrong person who treat them with no respect at all. Don’t you think that some type of personalities are just an easier target for manipulative people?

 

Make it easier to pull a visa scam or just any kind of scam in general 😩

 

Also so I’m afraid there is no way to protect or advice them..  sometimes even a close family suggestions get denied when somone is blindly charmed. And sooner or later it ends badly.

Edited April 5, 2018 by Marcelina

[issea 43]

7 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

he brought the fake child, not his, it is a human trafficking. The mother of his child was threatening him to go to the police and to the US embassy. It was his woman he paid her tourist visa behind my back with my credit card, I didn't know about it, he realized it is better to go and take the child back because the mother was tourist visa denied and was accusing him of her child kidnapping. In America human trafficking is jail. The child came on the passport as his, 2 years old but the real child he brought to my house was over 4 years old, not matching the passport photo well either. He never wanted to get a Social Security number or AOS for the child. Now I know why. After he left, his women and his family showed up chatting, asking me to take him back, many things I didn't know.

 

I was saved by the bell. That's why I advise better don't add your partner to your phone account, your bank and don't bring him/her home, better spend more on prepaid phone and rent and be safe.

That was really misfortune for you. This guy your ex is such a scum if you allow me to say so. 

I don't have a better suggestion on how to deal with your relationship with the other one in a generic way. It is alway case by case situation subjective to many circumstances, like culture, education, religion etc. For example, in traditional Chinese culture, one has to meet each other's parents and other significant relatives before entering a serious relationship, knowing each other's background from every aspect. 

[MeAlone 161]

2 minutes ago, Marcelina said:

I have also noticed a pattern. Not only with USC/foreigner couples but also back in my country. Some people seems to have very poor luck with relationships, constantly falling for a wrong person who treat them with no respect at all. Don’t you think that some type of personalities are just an easier target for manipulative people?

 

Make it easier to pull a visa scam or just any kind of scam in general 😩

Yes, mostly people have a sense of what they need in a partner, so abusers see who is a potential victim and victims are attracted to a potential abuser. But I had a great marriage for many years, became a widow, probably my abuser saw a widow, they know the widow is in a grieving weak stage but it's temporary.

[Marieke H 2,524]

13 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

Don't accuse me about what I would do because it did NOT happen, just reflection on this matter.

 

Don't accuse me about red flags, no red flags before he came and even before he married me, then red flags and abuse I was thinking I can deal with them and it's the immigration adjustment but I was already watching trying to understand what's going on and why he left so fast, then his family and his women told me some information about his way to live.

 

I am NOT asking for your support or anybody's support here. I am writing for all good and honest Americans who went through similar situation or who are aware about fraud and wish to be prepared when they decide to go the visa marriage way. So keep your sick weird imagination about me being a bad abusive American to yourself. I am a former immigrant myself.

I never said you are a bad abusive American. I am trying to point out that you have some ownership in this situation. And I tried to explain that your reflection on how you would do things differently is not realistic.

 

But hey, I'll stay away from this thread, I am not interested in a discussion with someone with such an aggressive attitude. Good luck with your situation, I sincerely hope you'll be able to heal and find love again.

[Marcelina 246]

6 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

Yes, mostly people have a sense of what they need in a partner, so abusers see who is a potential victim and victims are attracted to a potential abuser. But I had a great marriage for many years, became a widow, probably my abuser saw a widow, they know the widow is in a grieving weak stage but it's temporary.

It’s jus how it is. There are people who are great at reading others and their sensitive spots also emotional states to get advantage of that. That’s why it’s so hard to even protect  yourself from a scam or a toxic relationship.

 

Sometimes the best lessons are the one learned from our own mistakes or choices. Now you know you should be more careful and I learned I can be with somone who loves me for who I am

 

Also as I said before keeping a healthy relationship is hard. If that would be an easy task there would be no divorces.

Edited April 5, 2018 by Marcelina

[MeAlone 161]

3 minutes ago, issea said:

That was really misfortune for you. This guy your ex is such a scum if you allow me to say so. 

I don't have a better suggestion on how to deal with your relationship with the other one in a generic way. It is alway case by case situation subjective to many circumstances, like culture, education, religion etc. For example, in traditional Chinese culture, one has to meet each other's parents and other significant relatives before entering a serious relationship, knowing each other's background from every aspect. 

Yes, i think all was adding, a widow, then meeting all well, accepting a single father, bad luck he is a scammer and scammers are very smart playing games. This marriage was annuled, once I saw what he was doing, I decided to do the right thing, to get the annulment or divorce and move on, to protect myself from more lies. My marriage Annulment is based on Fraud with the written evidence about him saying he married me for papers only, his family saying the child he brought to US is not his, him not telling me before our wedding he has more children, not only one, this all is a ground for Annulment in my State and I was granted it.

[javadown2 308]

15 hours ago, Boiler said:

Has been suggested that USCIS should offer a Platinum service so if needed disappointed spouses can get their ex's deported.

It's pretty much that way anyway, well minus the deportation....most people and specifically Americans really abuse marriage and divorce, oh well it isn't working out..we can just get a divorce and move on. 

 

I think this whole post is silly, if you just take your time to get to know someone first, look for the redflags, ask family (listen to family)...

 

I laugh at people who say wow is 90 days long enough to really get to know someone before marriage? The reality shows don't help with the stigma of the K-1 visa aka 90 Day Fiance. If you got into a relationship and barely knew them before getting married then you deserve to get the outcomes, good or bad..but either can happen. 

[MeAlone 161]

Ah, and i am not bitter, I don't regret meeting an interesting man, I don't regret my time and spent money, it was an adventure, it is life. Somebody pity me saying I will find love again or wishing me luck. Thank you but I am lucky he left, I am very lucky the judge gave me the Annulment, my kids are grown up, my life is nice. I didn't plan to marry my ex and I don't plan to marry again unless again a very interesting man cross my path and convince me. Foreign man? I don't think so, many good ones and bad once are just around the corner, my ex happened to convince me only because as a recent widow I wasn't going out at all and missing being married.

 

I hope my experience opens the eyes to others how could be hidden and lied about his/her having children, he denied his own children when filling up his visa application, I asked several times saying we need to add all your children if you have them, it's for children future, tell me if you have more children, I don't mind, all are welcome. Denying his own children what made me feel he is not worth it.

[MeAlone 161]

Ha, the lucky people who have a good marriage criticize the unlucky ones. It is LIFE, it's not our fault or you are better than unlucky ones. It could happen to you too, it still can happen when you become a widow or widower like me, then maybe you remember reading this topic and say, aha, I stop it here, I see where is going on my next marriage.

 

I wish more people share their fraud stories, many are afraid to write about it in this forum because to 1 story come 20 accusers saying it is your fault, you are dumb, you didn't see the red flags, you are cookoo crazy abusive American yourself.

 

But if we are afraid of bullies, who could learn at least a little from our mistakes and see the red flags sooner???

 

Please, if you have a story to share, do it, it could help others.

[Boiler 46,232]

Probably not that many people on here who are wondering how many children there SO has.

[MeAlone 161]

7 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Probably not that many people on here who are wondering how many children there SO has.

Lol, probably. I guess I need to see it as a very interesting adventure of my life.

 

But many complain it was Fraud. My story is based on a real Fraud, it's legally named in my State for annulment.

 

It would be interesting to see more about all kind of fraud many people mention in VJ

Edited April 5, 2018 by MeAlone