USC Marriage Fraud experience and what would I do different

[RLA 323]

16 hours ago, MeAlone said:

Immigrants have all the rights and protection in our country. What do we have, we US citizens? 

I'm no expert on this, but I'd think that US citizens enjoy the same rights and protection, and then some.  

 

As to what you yourself can do to avoid being manipulated: There've been some very good suggestions in this thread, mostly stressing the importance of really getting to know your intended.  I'd like to add to have your intended meet your friends and family and see how they like him.  They're not all starry-eyed from having just fallen in love, so they might spot some red flags that you didn't.  Also, your life will be much easier if your partner and your loved ones get along well.  

 

As to policy changes: I agree with all the others that the 1-year trial period is a bad idea.  The best approach would be to improve the vetting process, e.g., by requiring joint visa interviews so that the CO can watch how the couple interacts.  

[RLA 323]

11 hours ago, MeAlone said:

We all know very well, you can marry the girl/guy next door and being robbed, cheated, abused and scammed, any marriage is a lottery

I think marriage is not a lottery.  It's more like bowling.  There's still an element of chance, but with talent and skill and persistence you can greatly improve your odds.  

[Derik-Lina 230]

17 hours ago, MeAlone said:

I disagree, some people meet and marry in 1 day and live happy forever and some have lots of time dating and divorce after a week of marriage

 

17 hours ago, MeAlone said:

This Topic is for to share our experience, many USC are suffering the Marriage Fraud, manipulation, abuse and many things more hurting us for years or for life.

 

Let's share our stories and think what could we do different based on our experience and knowledge now.

Immigrants have all the rights and protection in our country. What do we have, we US citizens? Spending a lot and making a lot of documents for to be with our loved ones. Do we deserve being used, manipulated, abused and even send to jail because of our best feelings and intentions? What kind of legal help do we have? What kind of support?

Rule of thumb: If it s too good to be true, it probably is not true. 

I agree with all of the above, but my opinion is: Six months visa to live with potential spouse here,  with Permit to work.

[Nevad@ 26]

51 minutes ago, Derik-Lina said:

 

Rule of thumb: If it s too good to be true, it probably is not true. 

I agree with all of the above, but my opinion is: Six months visa to live with potential spouse here,  with Permit to work.

If someone is so good at lying/faking their feelings that they can last 90 days, then they can certainly last beyond it as well just to make it through. People are cruel creatures. 

 

To me, the time you get to know the person before you propose plays more important role than the time that follows a super stressful long waiting period of uncertainty when the couple has already filed the petition and are changing things in life and saving money to move in together... 

Edited April 5, 2018 by Nevad@

[Derik-Lina 230]

3 minutes ago, Nevad@ said:

If someone is so good at lying/faking their feelings that they can last 90 days, then they can certainly last beyond it as well just to make it through. People are cruel creatures. 

 

To me, the time you get to know the person before you propose plays more important role than the time that follows a super stressful long waiting period of uncertainty when the couple has already filed the petition and are changing things in life and saving money to move in together... 

Great point! One must out them in situations and create scenarios to observe reactions, and then conclude for themselves. 

I suggested to someone to tell the beneficiary she intended to leve the US altogether and live with them in their home country. 

Quickly, she found out the ugly and calculating side of the husband to be.

[dirtyhippiegirl 85]

I've been married for almost 11 years. Husband is Canadian. We met as teens at aviation camp. He started university in North Dakota. I graduated highschool and immediately went to ND -- we lived together for two years as poor college students. Greencard fraud was never anything more than an occasional joke between us.

 

If it seems to good to be true, you should probably take a closer look.

[MeAlone 161]

16 minutes ago, Derik-Lina said:

Great point! One must out them in situations and create scenarios to observe reactions, and then conclude for themselves. 

I suggested to someone to tell the beneficiary she intended to leve the US altogether and live with them in their home country. 

Quickly, she found out the ugly and calculating side of the husband to be.

I did the same test, he was all abusive to me coming to my house, after he left (because of his own legal troubles), he asked for another visa, now CR1 spouse visa, I said if you want us continue married, better I go and we live in your country, his answer was NO, then he said come and we do business together but bring money for the business, I asked what kind of business, he said he won't tell me, bring money, I answered I don't have, can I go to live with you, my husband in your country? his answer was if no money, do not come. After that I went to the court, annulment of marriage, it took time and money (debts I am still paying) but it is done now.

[Boiler 45,478]

12 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

I did the same test, he was all abusive to me coming to my house, after he left (because of his own legal troubles), he asked for another visa, now CR1 spouse visa, I said if you want us continue married, better I go and we live in your country, his answer was NO, then he said come and we do business together but bring money for the business, I asked what kind of business, he said he won't tell me, bring money, I answered I don't have, can I go to live with you, my husband in your country? his answer was if no money, do not come. After that I went to the court, annulment of marriage, it took time and money (debts I am still paying) but it is done now.

And this is the guy you want to get a Green Card.

[DonMc 11]

This is a great topic.   I have a K 1 in progress now.    I am very cautious. I have been burned in this country.  The girl I am interested in checks out so far. I have some friends with successful marriages with girls from other countries.  I also have some friends, one of which works for  the dept of homeland security that says he will "kick my a$$" if I marry a foreign girl. He sites situations that are disasterous. I think what it gets down to is the indivual person on both sides.  Are they honest with each other?  Do they share the same values?  Do they want a marriage that will last?  Most importantly . . . do their words match their actions.   I have another friend that is a marriage counselor. He told me the the biggest reasons for these marriages to fail in his experience with the ones that came through his office is Language Barrier  and Cultural Differences.  I have discussed this in the beginning with my girl before getting serious. Always on  the look out for this if there is a misunderstanding. Yes there have been some and no doubt will be more. She is self supporting and not looking for GC. So far so good.  There are no guarantees in life.  I will  take a chance and hope for the best. I use the Ronald Reagan approach. "Trust but Verify" 

 

I dont want to highjack this thread.  I asked this question in another thread and maybe I should start one asking if there are statistics anywhere on the success rates of international marriages as  we are discussing  here.

[MeAlone 161]

12 minutes ago, Boiler said:

And this is the guy you want to get a Green Card.

Yes, we married and I paid the AOS for him. He left before he got it. One foreigner is more than enough for me, very bad experience.

[trudi 1,317]

10 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

Yes, we married and I paid the AOS for him. He left before he got it. One foreigner is more than enough for me, very bad experience.

But would you tar all Americans with the same brush if you'd had a bad experience with one?

I know it's hard to comprehend but 'foreigners' are people too, just like Americans & there are a lot to choose from just like there are a lot of Americans. Some are awesome, honest, hard working & loyal too y'know...

Please don't lable everyone who wasn't born here as bad/worthless/scam artist based on your one bad experience.

[MeAlone 161]

OK

4. Prenup, your assets, be careful. What would I did based on my bad experience?

I would do prenup, I live in a community property state. As I mentioned, I wouldn't give him my car keys to drive on his international license, I would drive him myself where he needs to go, this way I could see it's not a party or some weird friends (he said he doesn't know anybody but he knew, he even tried to use my car as Uber and also was giving rides to some people, cleaning the car after).

 

I wouldn't bring him to the house I own, I would rent the appt., he was abusive so if we lived in an appt., I could go home and let him stay there with his child and his angry moods. You know it is not easy to kick the immigrant out, it's an established address and he/she can falsely accuse you, get the restraining order and kick you out from your own house. Apparently he tried, he brought his child on my support but he was trying to kick out my son, he kicked me out of my car, my bedroom and bed yet was coming to my sofa when he needed, he even dared saying he would be happy if I was not in the house, I was staying in a living room afraid of his anger even to go to the kitchen when he was home, not good. So I think renting a small place would be good, more safe.

[MeAlone 161]

12 minutes ago, trudi said:

But would you tar all Americans with the same brush if you'd had a bad experience with one?

I know it's hard to comprehend but 'foreigners' are people too, just like Americans & there are a lot to choose from just like there are a lot of Americans. Some are awesome, honest, hard working & loyal too y'know...

Please don't lable everyone who wasn't born here as bad/worthless/scam artist based on your one bad experience.

No, I don't judge anybody, even my ex. But I choose no more foreigner because it's too expensive to try again and again and visas take long time too, I am still paying debts on my failed marriage, he left 1 year ago, still all my income goes to my credit cards, 5 trips to visit him, all 2 visas, AOS, annulment, he went on a shopping spree on my credit.

 

I have many friends from different countries, good people.

[MeAlone 161]

Ah, also, I did visa for him because I fall in love and he was very good to me before he moved here, 1 year and half and 5 trips all well. Now I am not in love with anybody to do visa again and I don't plan to meet somebody romantically abroad for to see what happens and to do visa again.

Edited April 5, 2018 by MeAlone

[bakphx1 789]

I have a hard time with women who fall in love with men in Ghana and Nigeria without having met, likewise men who fall in love with Filipina women over the internet.  And then they are in a mad rush to get married.  The populations as a whole are not the issue, but marriage fraud is big businesses in those countries. The likelihood that person who knows all the right things to say has been coached or has scripts. 

 

I also question why anyone "shops" for a spouse in other countries. One thing for a relationship to begin as you get to know each other, but quite another to decide to look for the love of your life by grabbing a map. 

 

Tell someone that the Mr. \Ms. Right they never met could bring heartache and they get mad and don't want to hear it.