Moving to States (K1)

[TBoneTX 45,778]

4 hours ago, Perfect two 💑 said:

when you have a fight with your partner/spouse, remember that it is not you against him/her but it is both of you against the problem.

This is insightful to the point of brilliance.  Thank you for posting this.

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

On ‎3‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 9:32 PM, Perfect two 💑 said:

Thank you super duper much for the advise. It is awesome advise. I will always remember that. Someone said this to me before, when you have a fight with your partner/spouse, remember that it is not you against him/her but it is both of you against the problem.  

YES! My dad gives that same exact advice all the time It's good advice!

[Muffinji 43]

Hi, @Perfect two 💑, I see that you’re from Malaysia too! I haven’t moved over yet because I just applied for my CR1 but from my experience being in USA for 3wks-3mths every year, I can suggest

1. Find an Asian market/ world market (Asian markets are usually cheaper and have almost everything we can get back in Malaysia! Even durians ;p ) - once you find it, being able to make some local food you crave helps   

2. I’m not sure about where you’re at, but if you can’t find any Malaysian cuisine restaurants around, consider making trips to places like California where you can actually find a place or two that sells Malaysian food! (Not as yummy as back in Malaysia but good enough ;p ) 

3. Join a club or take up some lessons where you can meet with others/ volunteer somewhere.

4. Develop new hobbies - for me it was sewing because I got a sewing machine and kept me occupied when he was at work

5. If your spouse has a local sports team they support, try to see if you can get interested in it too. - might not work for everyone- I was converted by my husband after 4 yrs into a San Jose Sharks fan, I have my own fav player  we have season tickets when I’m around and when I’m not he sends me links so we can watch the game together. 

- though due to cultural differences, I find that when there is any argument / disagreement, it’s important  to make sure you can talk/ discuss calmly over the issue with your spouse to understand the reason  because sometimes the reason can be a simple thing as ‘back at my place we wash dishes right away/ leave it till the dishwasher is full’ or wearing shoes in the house 🤣🤣 <- compromised by having to take shoes off only in our bedroom.

[KLgirl 5]

Hi @Perfect two 💑 & @Muffinji , my fellow Malaysians  

 

I was here on F1 since Aug 2016 and finally submitted my AOS last month. Though I was taking classes while he works, I was homesick for at least 3 months before finally getting used to being here in the US. I never knew that I can get homesick as prior to moving here, I was working in Singapore. I guess Singapore is a lot closer to Malaysia, haha... and I was going home once a month.

 

Since I finished my studies and did not manage to get a job while on OPT, I'm back to doing nothing and staying home. Cold weather makes me NOT want to do anything. So what i've been doing is

• watching tv and local news to keep up with what's happening so that when you go out with his friends, you know what's happening especially the politics here
• trying to read a bit more than I was   
• talk to friends and family back home
• walking to the shops and waste some time looking at their products. I'm lucky that I live near a smaller Chinatown nearby and Ross is only 2 blocks away   
• exercise at home by following youtube video (not everyday la) or going for a run when its not so cold ( I know San Francisco is considered warm, but its still cold for me)
• i recently volunteered for the Rock n Roll Marathon and plan to do more volunteering. Just google volunteer on Craigslists and once you start volunteering and meeting people, they can recommend you to more places to volunteer, haha..
• cook his favorite food and searching online for what Malaysian home cook food i'd like to eat and try cooking it. The only cooking i do back home is cooking instant noodles, so my cooking skills has improved since moving here. Like my aunt said, if you can read, you cook.
• There's no decent Malaysian food here in SF, I heard they have better ones in San Jose. My husband is from Malaysia, so food wise is the same and we usually settle for Thai food if we feel like eating something similar.

Plan to do 1 item a day like clearing out the closet, organizing and cleaning the kitchen, etc... Then the day will actually fly by and before you know it, he's home.

 

Like someone said earlier, he might not want to go out after work as he's tired and just want to relax and looking forward to home cook meal at home, which is the same for my hubby. So we usually go out on weekends.