Sensitive Subject

[ampabst 2]

10 hours ago, Lemonslice said:

To that, I would also add that a few sessions with a counselor, on your own, or together, might help you make sense of the situation a see what's your best plan from now on.  Take care. 

I have already been looking into this, I don't know if it is the language barrier, but our communication isn't the greatest.  His English isn't bad but he does have a hard time understanding sometimes.  I am trying to learn spanish, but I think a counselor would be able give us techniques for communication and of course navigate through this situation.

[ampabst 2]

9 hours ago, caliliving said:

was it a one night stand? was it a child that he wants? a long time affair?

 

who is to say he wont get his ROC and then run off with this woman? I mean, i guess if it was a one night stand he could always not say . he is the father.. but i assume that him being the father means he is stepping up to the plate?

 

i am willing to bet their is more to this story then you know and he is withholding information from you. like how did they meet and did he know this woman before?

 

 

I do know more about this, I just didn't provided all the details because it is personal. I understand he very well he may get through this application and leave.  I understand that, I am just not ready to have him leave without trying to work on our relationship.  If I go the route of divorcing, I want to be 100% sure in my decision and have no regrets about it.

 

[ampabst 2]

6 hours ago, Orangesapples said:

Except that she can take him to court and get him to pay child support and she should. 

 

OP, you really don't need to worry about his immigration status. He can remove conditions without you. But even if he couldn't, you owe him nothing after he betrayed you like this. There's no need to set yourself up for more pain. 

There is no court ordered child support but he does send money, on his own.  

 

He betrayed me, yes.  But we are still married, and I am not 100% ready to give up on that marriage.  It isn't like if I apply for the removal of conditions with him, that I am unable to leave him later if I choose.

[Boiler 45,522]

Certainly need to consider Child Support and its impact on your finances, if not now reasonable to assume soon.

[Longingfor 195]

4 hours ago, ampabst said:

Thanks!  I think that for now we will stick with applying together.  We are working on the relationship to see if staying together is what we want.  If we do get divorced he will just go back to Mexico, the only reason he is in the US is to be with me.  So he either forfeits his resident status if we decide to divorce now or we apply for the removal of conditions and work on our relationship.

 

Also, I would take time to consider the situation but his removal of conditions is due next month.

You are in serious denial to think that he would go back to Mexico if you divorce him. And if he was here for just you then you would not be here trying to get advice about divorce or stay and and outside child. He now has a child and will not leave that child and go back to Mexico so quit your obvious denial and start having real talk with your husband. 

 

Your husband knows he needs you to ROC so that the process is easier on him. It's less work and less proof for him to do his ROC with you than file as divorced.

 

You need to start asking your spouse the hard questions. Did he do a DNA test to prove he's the child. That would be step 1. Next find out what type of relationship he has with the woman how long has it been going on. She could be his ex or his girl friend from Mexico but couldn't petition for him hence he married you to get to her. 

 

Girl you need to start asking your spouse the hard questions and be prepared to receive the answers you get.

 

Honestly I would be gone the moment I find out about a child because it means child support and as the petition it will fall on you if he can't do it himself. Outside of child support I would still be out no way I would want someone who doesn't respect me or want to be with just me.

[Unidentified 2,930]

4 hours ago, ampabst said:

Thanks!  I think that for now we will stick with applying together.  We are working on the relationship to see if staying together is what we want.  If we do get divorced he will just go back to Mexico, the only reason he is in the US is to be with me.  So he either forfeits his resident status if we decide to divorce now or we apply for the removal of conditions and work on our relationship.

 

Also, I would take time to consider the situation but his removal of conditions is due next month.

He won't go back to Mexico and if he is only in the US to be WITH YOU then why is he now the father of a child that isn't yours?

[ampabst 2]

12 minutes ago, Longingfor said:

You are in serious denial to think that he would go back to Mexico if you divorce him. And if he was here for just you then you would not be here trying to get advice about divorce or stay and and outside child. He now has a child and will not leave that child and go back to Mexico so quit your obvious denial and start having real talk with your husband. 

 

Your husband knows he needs you to ROC so that the process is easier on him. It's less work and less proof for him to do his ROC with you than file as divorced.

 

You need to start asking your spouse the hard questions. Did he do a DNA test to prove he's the child. That would be step 1. Next find out what type of relationship he has with the woman how long has it been going on. She could be his ex or his girl friend from Mexico but couldn't petition for him hence he married you to get to her. 

 

Girl you need to start asking your spouse the hard questions and be prepared to receive the answers you get.

 

Honestly I would be gone the moment I find out about a child because it means child support and as the petition it will fall on you if he can't do it himself. Outside of child support I would still be out no way I would want someone who doesn't respect me or want to be with just me.

First of all I am not stupid so don't treat me like I am.  Second, you don't have any idea about my situation or my relationship with him.  I didn't come on this forum to inquire about divorce, someone else brought that up. I merely asked if we needed to include the Child's birth certificate.

 

[databit 328]

41 minutes ago, ampabst said:

First of all I am not stupid so don't treat me like I am.  Second, you don't have any idea about my situation or my relationship with him.  I didn't come on this forum to inquire about divorce, someone else brought that up. I merely asked if we needed to include the Child's birth certificate.

 

You should at least take the advice to get a DNA test for the child. The mother may be using your husband as a ticket for herself and the child to get to the US, or at minimum, a steady source of income. Find out if the child is really your husband's.

[ampabst 2]

1 hour ago, databit said:

You should at least take the advice to get a DNA test for the child. The mother may be using your husband as a ticket for herself and the child to get to the US, or at minimum, a steady source of income. Find out if the child is really your husband's.

Thanks for the advice...already pursuing this

[NikLR 13,227]

9 hours ago, ampabst said:

First of all I am not stupid so don't treat me like I am.  Second, you don't have any idea about my situation or my relationship with him.  I didn't come on this forum to inquire about divorce, someone else brought that up. I merely asked if we needed to include the Child's birth certificate.

 

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