Sensitive Subject

[ampabst 2]

Hi All -

 

This is a sensitive subject so please no negative comments. I just found out that my husband cheated on me and a child was conceived from the affair.  I am still working through my mind, but the timing is awful because we have to apply for his removal of conditions from a CR-1 to IR-1.  We have decided to move forward with it because we don't want to hastily decide to end the marriage and for he to have to return to his native country.

 

My question is on the application for the I-751 we have to provide a birth certificate for all children born during our marriage as proof of our relationship, however, since the child was not born to the both of us, but rather to him and another woman, do we still need to provide this information?  Any guidance is helpful, thanks!

[little immigrant 801]

He's the petitioner for the i751 and it's his child so yes

[kzielu 1,153]

5 minutes ago, ampabst said:

Hi All -

 

This is a sensitive subject so please no negative comments. I just found out that my husband cheated on me and a child was conceived from the affair.  I am still working through my mind, but the timing is awful because we have to apply for his removal of conditions from a CR-1 to IR-1.  We have decided to move forward with it because we don't want to hastily decide to end the marriage and for he to have to return to his native country.

 

My question is on the application for the I-751 we have to provide a birth certificate for all children born during our marriage as proof of our relationship, however, since the child was not born to the both of us, but rather to him and another woman, do we still need to provide this information?  Any guidance is helpful, thanks!

Yes. It his child and he needs to list all his children.

[Ben&Zian 4,398]

7 minutes ago, ampabst said:

Hi All -

 

This is a sensitive subject so please no negative comments. I just found out that my husband cheated on me and a child was conceived from the affair.  I am still working through my mind, but the timing is awful because we have to apply for his removal of conditions from a CR-1 to IR-1.  We have decided to move forward with it because we don't want to hastily decide to end the marriage and for he to have to return to his native country.

 

My question is on the application for the I-751 we have to provide a birth certificate for all children born during our marriage as proof of our relationship, however, since the child was not born to the both of us, but rather to him and another woman, do we still need to provide this information?  Any guidance is helpful, thanks!

 

Definately would agree with both above. It asks for children. If it is his biological child, then yes you must list it.

 

And yes, this I am sure will generate a lot, a lot, a lot of questions and scrutiny.

[Crazy Cat 42,519]

Listing the child will bring questions, etc.  But failure to list the child could be seen as misrepresentation later.........I'd definitely list the child.

[Boiler 46,232]

It is his removal of conditions, so yes he lists his children including this one. Takes some time so maybe time enough to sort out your issues.

[ampabst 2]

Thanks All!  I kind of thought that was the case.  I already included the information in the application itself but wanted to confirm if the Birth Certificate was definitely needed. Better to be safe than sorry.  I am sure this will definitely mean that an interview gets scheduled. I appreciate all the help.

[Dutchster 1,107]

I'm so sorry you are finding yourself in a situation like this.

I agree with above posters. It's a sticky situation and I would expect a lot of scrutiny at the possible ROC interview but you have to list the child.  

[NikLR 13,232]

He can file with a divorce waiver, you have zero need to file jointly with him.  They're not going to deport him just because you decided to divorce.  

 

BTW, I highly suggest getting yourself tested for STDs.  Obviously he wasn't using protection 100% of the time with someone else.  Who knows who else he may have been with unprotected.  

[ampabst 2]

5 minutes ago, NikLR said:

He can file with a divorce waiver, you have zero need to file jointly with him.  They're not going to deport him just because you decided to divorce.  

 

BTW, I highly suggest getting yourself tested for STDs.  Obviously he wasn't using protection 100% of the time with someone else.  Who knows who else he may have been with unprotected.  

If we do this, do we have to get divorced?  What if we do decide to stay together.  I don't want it to seem like we are lying and have it affect his status.

[NikLR 13,232]

3 hours ago, ampabst said:

If we do this, do we have to get divorced?  What if we do decide to stay together.  I don't want it to seem like we are lying and have it affect his status.

if he chooses the divorce waiver at the beginning then yes you have to get divorced.

 

Do you want to stay with someone who had a child with someone else?  I would not but you are not me. 

 

You can start the process as married and if you decide to divorce during the process he can switch to a divorce waiver. You do not have to do the whole process as married should you decide you really do not want to stay with him. 

 

I do highly suggest separating for a time to get your thoughts in order.  Do what's good for YOU.  

Edited March 29, 2018 by NikLR

[Lemonslice 4,989]

3 hours ago, NikLR said:

if he chooses the divorce waiver at the beginning then yes you have to get divorced.

 

Do you want to stay with someone who had a child with someone else?  I would not but you are not me. 

 

You can start the process as married and if you decide to divorce during the process he can switch to a divorce waiver. You do not have to do the whole process as married should you decide you really do not want to stay with him. 

 

I do highly suggest separating for a time to get your thoughts in order.  Do what's good for YOU.  

To that, I would also add that a few sessions with a counselor, on your own, or together, might help you make sense of the situation a see what's your best plan from now on.  Take care. 

[caliliving 606]

was it a one night stand? was it a child that he wants? a long time affair?

 

who is to say he wont get his ROC and then run off with this woman? I mean, i guess if it was a one night stand he could always not say . he is the father.. but i assume that him being the father means he is stepping up to the plate?

 

i am willing to bet their is more to this story then you know and he is withholding information from you. like how did they meet and did he know this woman before?

 

 

[Orangesapples 1,954]

2 hours ago, caliliving said:

 

 

I mean, i guess if it was a one night stand he could always not say . he is the father.. but i assume that him being the father means he is stepping up to the plate?

 

 

 

Except that she can take him to court and get him to pay child support and she should. 

 

OP, you really don't need to worry about his immigration status. He can remove conditions without you. But even if he couldn't, you owe him nothing after he betrayed you like this. There's no need to set yourself up for more pain. 

[ampabst 2]

13 hours ago, NikLR said:

if he chooses the divorce waiver at the beginning then yes you have to get divorced.

 

Do you want to stay with someone who had a child with someone else?  I would not but you are not me. 

 

You can start the process as married and if you decide to divorce during the process he can switch to a divorce waiver. You do not have to do the whole process as married should you decide you really do not want to stay with him. 

 

I do highly suggest separating for a time to get your thoughts in order.  Do what's good for YOU.  

Thanks!  I think that for now we will stick with applying together.  We are working on the relationship to see if staying together is what we want.  If we do get divorced he will just go back to Mexico, the only reason he is in the US is to be with me.  So he either forfeits his resident status if we decide to divorce now or we apply for the removal of conditions and work on our relationship.

 

Also, I would take time to consider the situation but his removal of conditions is due next month.