Where do you live when you arrive?

[mr&mrshinds 77]

11 minutes ago, bukawbukaw said:

Well, I thought in such a civilized country that we would have a house or apartment. I did not know that it was so hard just to find a place to live. And so expensive! Most rental companies said even IF I had a US Social Security Number, it probably would not help. You also need rental history(how do you get that if you are new?) and they want a high credit score, and they want credit card information. It is really difficult and complicated. In the Philippines there is not even an application to fill out. You just pay someone! lol Here you have to pay at every place you apply. It's $25-$50 per person, per place you apply.

I don't wanna sound insensitive or condescending but shouldn't your husband, which is the USC have SSN? and why use the excuse as the US being a 'civilized country' when it should be the responsibility of your husband to look for appropriate housing for his family? Also, I don't think it's right to compare the Philippines with the US. They are 2 different countries with 2 different policies. What works for you in the PH will not work for you in the US, it should be the person adjusting to the circumstances, not the other way around. 

[bukawbukaw 2]

3 hours ago, Trellick said:

 

I moved in with my husband - our visa took 14 months to process so we had plenty of time to discuss where and how we would live and our mutual expectations. 

 

It sounds like you've had a really hard time - I hope things are better for you now. 

Well it's ancient history now. But I still have this trauma and wonder what others did. And thought it would be good to discuss ideas with others that are planning on coming. It is not really the land of milk and honey. It is hard here too like anywhere else. But you have to work hard if you want to succeed. Your avatar reminds me. IT IS COLD HERE TOO! I did not expect that!

[bukawbukaw 2]

3 minutes ago, mr&mrshinds said:

I don't wanna sound insensitive or condescending but shouldn't your husband, which is the USC have SSN? and why use the excuse as the US being a 'civilized country' when it should be the responsibility of your husband to look for appropriate housing for his family? Also, I don't think it's right to compare the Philippines with the US. They are 2 different countries with 2 different policies. What works for you in the PH will not work for you in the US, it should be the person adjusting to the circumstances, not the other way around. 

Yes my husband has a SSN. It's required by law. Comparing the US to where I am from is the exact point. My husband DID find us housing. But it is hard if you are an immigrant. No one will rent to immigrants. That is what I am discussing. You are insensitive for blaming me for being an immigrant on a website for immigrants. Especially when you are an immigrant to.

 

Maybe instead of putting me down for being an immigrant, why don't you share your success story? How did YOU survive when you first arrived?

[bukawbukaw 2]

4 hours ago, Lemonslice said:

Were was your spouse living before your arrival? Didn't they prepare the nest for their family?

With me of course. He could not. As I said.

[TBoneTX 44,787]

No one is being insensitive.  They're pointing out the following points.

As with most else in life, those who fail to plan find that they have planned to fail.

This applies to living arrangements, finances after marriage, and other considerations.

These challenges exist for domestic marriages, and even more so for those overseas.

Lengthy periods of time occur while waiting for petitions to be processed, visa interviews, etc.

Most couples use this time to plan for initial arrival and progress during the next months.

Some people shake their heads when others haven't budgeted funds for AOS and then complain.

It sounds as though your situation was the outgrowth of a near-complete lack of planning.

[mr&mrshinds 77]

Just now, bukawbukaw said:

Yes my husband has a SSN. It's required by law. Comparing the US to where I am from is the exact point. My husband DID find us housing. But it is hard if you are an immigrant. No one will rent to immigrants. That is what I am discussing. You are insensitive for blaming me for being an immigrant on a website for immigrants. Especially when you are an immigrant to.

 

Maybe instead of putting me down for being an immigrant, why don't you share your success story? How did YOU survive when you first arrived?

Again, as I've mentioned in my first post, I'm still here in the Philippines but my husband and I made sure that before going to the US we have everything sorted out (the apartment, furnitures, location of the neighborhood, work etc.) so that we won't have a problem. It all comes down to proper planning and discussion with your spouse.

 

No one is putting you down for being an immigrant. Rather, I'm pointing out the fact that you have high expectations when you come from the US and ended up being disappointed, which wouldn't happen have you discussed this things with your spouse.

[*Snowdrop* 604]

2 minutes ago, bukawbukaw said:

Yes my husband has a SSN. It's required by law. Comparing the US to where I am from is the exact point. My husband DID find us housing. But it is hard if you are an immigrant. No one will rent to immigrants. That is what I am discussing. You are insensitive for blaming me for being an immigrant on a website for immigrants. Especially when you are an immigrant to.

 

Maybe instead of putting me down for being an immigrant, why don't you share your success story? How did YOU survive when you first arrived?

I think the point people are trying to make - and what might be confusing all of us - is, wasn't your husband already living in the US before you moved here to be with him? Why did he as a USC find it difficult to find housing before you arrived? 

 

Or were you both living in the Philippines together and were both new to the USA and moved over together at the same time? Is your husband a dual citizen who had not been raised in the USA? 

[Ben&Zian 4,397]

2 minutes ago, bukawbukaw said:

Yes my husband has a SSN. It's required by law. Comparing the US to where I am from is the exact point. My husband DID find us housing. But it is hard if you are an immigrant. No one will rent to immigrants. That is what I am discussing. You are insensitive for blaming me for being an immigrant on a website for immigrants. Especially when you are an immigrant to.

 

Maybe instead of putting me down for being an immigrant, why don't you share your success story? How did YOU survive when you first arrived?

 

 

Sounds like, as @TBoneTX had said, you needed to really do a lot of research to know what you were getting yourself into.

 

While my husband had been to the US before on two J-1 visas, he still knew it would be a huge transition to live here full time.

 

Cali is one of the most expensive places, least in like L.A. and surrounding areas, so naturally what you can there for say $3000 a  month, in Houston it would be half that price.

 

And come on, really? You didn't expect it to be "cold"? I know my husband thinks cold is 50 degrees but of course there are areas where it get's really cold, negative 20+ in some areas even. 

 

You really needed to do some research. And no one is "putting you down", and saying places don't rent to immigrants is ridiculous. If you can afford it, most places I've ever been to will gladly rent to you. 

 

Some have criteria, like you stated, rental history; but of course you start off with none so that doesn't automatically deny you eligibility.  Most have financial requirements of 3-4x the amount of rent in monthly income. So you have to make $4k a month to rent a $1k a month apartment. That's just common sense , the apartment complex and management company want to know you can pay rent without issue. 

 

Research ahead of time is key. And you could have done it from abroad also. Contacted people, asked questions, ect.

[TBoneTX 44,787]

Just now, bukawbukaw said:

He could not. As I said.

Other couples manage, whether on their own or by relying on assistance from others.

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

13 hours ago, bukawbukaw said:

Curious where any of you lived when you arrived? When we got to the states, NO ONE would rent to us, because a background and criminal check is required. And a US Social Security Card and Driver's License are required to rent anywhere. We actually spent time in homeless shelters and roach hotels when I first arrived. 8 months pregnant. Money in the bank. No one who wanted it. BTW-Scary, dirty, bug-infested motels cost $3,000 a month! I had my baby while living in the hotel, which sent CPS to investigate us for child abuse.

 

It was not a fun time being in the greatest nation on Earth. A warning to all coming here! And... I am curious how any of you did it. If you did it differently?

On what Visa did you arrive on?

[TBoneTX 44,787]

CR-1, she said.  She needs a VJ timeline.

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

Just now, TBoneTX said:

CR-1, she said.  She needs a VJ timeline.

Yeah I read that later after I posted. 

[bukawbukaw 2]

5 hours ago, Chris Duffy said:

I am in North Texas and we have tons of illegal aliens living in apartments and houses, they have no SS Card or US Driver Licenses.

 

Why did you just move back home to Philippines?  Seems you can live pretty comfortably there with little money from what I have seen.  

Maybe new immigrants should go to North Texas? Could be good advice.

[Sunnyland 639]

If your husband had a SSN and other related IDs, how you ended living in a shelter? Where was he living before you moved to US?  You were an immigrant but he was an USC, rigth? You keep saying nobody rents to immigrant, but your husband surely was not an immigrant. He is an USC by birth or naturalization. 

And I do not know how is in the Philippines but from where I come from, no one thinks USA is a country of millionaires. That would be silly and an Utopia. Who thinks like that?  Unfortunately it seems MANY people around the world think the US citizens are swimming in a sea of dollars, and maybe those people can not imagine that we ALL have to work for a living. Nothing come easy. 

My now husband never told me that USA was a perfect place and he was very clear to inform me (before I moved here) that nothing was cheap in US. Sorry your experience was so traumatic. 

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

My wife and I lived in a 2br apartment in Pasadena CA after she got here on a K1 Visa and we moved cross country to CA for a job for myself. I had crappy credit due to a prior divorce and she had no credit. So I had to pay 2x security deposit not to mention the first month rent in advance. My property manager was a immigrant his self from Thailand and there are alot of immigrants in CALIFORNIA so your claim that nobody rents to immigrants is BS.

 

It sounds like your bitter because your asawa didn't plan for your arrival at all. 

Edited March 27, 2018 by cyberfx1024