Advice on fiancés affairs when she leaves Ukraine

[PirateLiker 11]

I’m looking for some advice I can pass along to my fiancé regarding leaving her country. There are 2 big issues:

 

1. She owns an apartment in her city. It is in her name only. My thought was that she keep it and get her brother to manage it as a rental and give the money to her parents who are pensioners.  But if she decides to sell, when should she put it on the market? We filed I-29f at the end of January. Obviously we don’t have NOA2 yet. Assuming it takes a few months to sell she wouldn’t have time to do that after NOA2, unless we delay her arrival.

 

2. She has a good career with above average income, same employer 7 years. How should she handle quitting that? My idea is for her to ask for vacation time, then tell them she won’t be coming back after she gets here. My idea is that that will give her a chance to glimpse what our life will be like here before she burns that bridge. I do try to tell her all about things here, the good and the bad (including things about myself) so she won’t have any surprises, but inevitably there will be some. She has never visited the US and was turned down for a tourist visa last fall.

 

For those of you whose fiances have similar ties to their country, how will s/he be wrapping up her/his affairs?

Edited March 21, 2018 by PirateLiker

[payxibka 10,045]

3 minutes ago, PirateLiker said:

I’m looking for some advice I can pass along to my fiancé regarding leaving her country. There are 2 big issues:

 

1. She owns an apartment in her city. It is in her name only. My thought was that she keep it and get her brother to manage it as a rental and give the money to her parents who are pensioners.  But if she decides to sell, when should she put it on the market? We filed I-29f at the end of January. Obviously we don’t have NOA2 yet. Assuming it takes a few months to sell she wouldn’t have time to do that after NOA2, unless we delay her arrival.

 

2. She has a good career with above average income, same employer 7 years. How should she handle quitting that? My idea is for her to ask for vacation time, then tell them she won’t be coming back after she gets here. My idea is that that will give her a chance to glimpse what our life will be like here before she burns that bridge. I do try to tell her all about things here, the good and the bad (including things about myself) so she won’t have any surprises, but inevitably there will be some. 

 

For those of you whose fiances have similar ties to their country, how will s/he be wrapping up her/his affairs?

My x held on to her flat for a year in the event it didn't work in the USA and she had someplace to go back to.  When she did decide to sell it, she just did a long visit in Ukraine.  Houses sell for cash, so once you have a buyer it can close very quickly.  From listing to closing was less than 10 days.  

[KULtoATL 1,551]

28 minutes ago, PirateLiker said:

I’m looking for some advice I can pass along to my fiancé regarding leaving her country. There are 2 big issues:

 

1. She owns an apartment in her city. It is in her name only. My thought was that she keep it and get her brother to manage it as a rental and give the money to her parents who are pensioners.  But if she decides to sell, when should she put it on the market? We filed I-29f at the end of January. Obviously we don’t have NOA2 yet. Assuming it takes a few months to sell she wouldn’t have time to do that after NOA2, unless we delay her arrival.

 

2. She has a good career with above average income, same employer 7 years. How should she handle quitting that? My idea is for her to ask for vacation time, then tell them she won’t be coming back after she gets here. My idea is that that will give her a chance to glimpse what our life will be like here before she burns that bridge. I do try to tell her all about things here, the good and the bad (including things about myself) so she won’t have any surprises, but inevitably there will be some. She has never visited the US and was turned down for a tourist visa last fall.

 

For those of you whose fiances have similar ties to their country, how will s/he be wrapping up her/his affairs?

If she doesn't have to reimburse her employer for quitting without serving a notice that's stipulated in her work contract (IF there's one), sure. But frankly, I think that's still a tad unprofessional and dishonest. She just needs to quit her job the normal way, thank them for the opportunity and that would more than help her part ways with her employer on good terms. If asked the reason, she can say she's moving overseas and keep it at that. Besides employers totally know that employees come and go. 

 

No idea about the house. About the rental idea, you might wanna look into the *possibility* about having to report that income to IRS even if she would end up giving the money to her parents. 

[nightingalejules 678]

First of all, I’m thrilled that you’re so understanding about your fiancée’s potential culture shock moving to the US. 

She probably should hold off listing the apartment until she’s at least been approved, especially if they sell fast there. If that means renting it out for some time (until she has her green card and can return to Ukraine long enough to sell) that’s probably best. Chances are it won’t affect her US taxes because foreign income is often exempt from US taxes. 

As for the job, again I understand the issue... she will need the income until she actually moves. But taking vacation time and then quitting seems a little shady, depending on what the rules are there. What is considered normal for giving notice? Presumably she will not be able to leave instantly upon approval- could she give 2 weeks’ notice by phone on her way out of the consulate after being approved? Either way, she’s not likely to get enough vacation time to use that job as a safety net, so better to be up front.

[PirateLiker 11]

11 hours ago, payxibka said:

My x held on to her flat for a year in the event it didn't work in the USA and she had someplace to go back to.  When she did decide to sell it, she just did a long visit in Ukraine.  Houses sell for cash, so once you have a buyer it can close very quickly.  From listing to closing was less than 10 days.  

Thank you everyone for the responses. Very helpful advice. payxibka, I sent you  a message on your yahoo account. I hope that is correct. Let me know if you don't get it.

 

[Ksenia_O 696]

11 hours ago, PirateLiker said:

I’m looking for some advice I can pass along to my fiancé regarding leaving her country. There are 2 big issues:

 

1. She owns an apartment in her city. It is in her name only. My thought was that she keep it and get her brother to manage it as a rental and give the money to her parents who are pensioners.  But if she decides to sell, when should she put it on the market? We filed I-29f at the end of January. Obviously we don’t have NOA2 yet. Assuming it takes a few months to sell she wouldn’t have time to do that after NOA2, unless we delay her arrival.

 

2. She has a good career with above average income, same employer 7 years. How should she handle quitting that? My idea is for her to ask for vacation time, then tell them she won’t be coming back after she gets here. My idea is that that will give her a chance to glimpse what our life will be like here before she burns that bridge. I do try to tell her all about things here, the good and the bad (including things about myself) so she won’t have any surprises, but inevitably there will be some. She has never visited the US and was turned down for a tourist visa last fall.

 

For those of you whose fiances have similar ties to their country, how will s/he be wrapping up her/his affairs?

 

I also still have an apartment there. And until my parents are in Ukraine - i don't think it will be sold. Since I'm not around, a rental payment helps them out. 

Also, when I'm in Kiev, visiting family, I also get part of that, and  don't have to worry about  bringing cash and  currency exchange.

 

Besides, purchasing power is not really good right now in Ukraine and prices on property for sale are dropped.  But rental still can give you some kind of good income.

 

So, I would advice to hold on, but yes, the choice is yours, guys

[dentsflogged 352]

23 hours ago, PirateLiker said:

I’m looking for some advice I can pass along to my fiancé regarding leaving her country. There are 2 big issues:

 

1. She owns an apartment in her city. It is in her name only. My thought was that she keep it and get her brother to manage it as a rental and give the money to her parents who are pensioners.  But if she decides to sell, when should she put it on the market? We filed I-29f at the end of January. Obviously we don’t have NOA2 yet. Assuming it takes a few months to sell she wouldn’t have time to do that after NOA2, unless we delay her arrival.

 

2. She has a good career with above average income, same employer 7 years. How should she handle quitting that? My idea is for her to ask for vacation time, then tell them she won’t be coming back after she gets here. My idea is that that will give her a chance to glimpse what our life will be like here before she burns that bridge. I do try to tell her all about things here, the good and the bad (including things about myself) so she won’t have any surprises, but inevitably there will be some. She has never visited the US and was turned down for a tourist visa last fall.

 

For those of you whose fiances have similar ties to their country, how will s/he be wrapping up her/his affairs?

This is, quite frankly, a terrible and unprofessional way of ending an employment.  It gives the employer no real notice, no ability to have someone who knows the ins & outs of the role to train their replacement and leaves the employer in a really bad position.  If things don't work out and she moves back, I'd imagine that she'd be incredibly unlikely to go back to that employer (as opposed to if she leaves on good terms with plenty of notice and helps the replacement/employer with training) and may find that she can't get a decent reference from them later (and well deserved, if you do that)

 

[PirateLiker 11]

3 minutes ago, dentsflogged said:

This is, quite frankly, a terrible and unprofessional way of ending an employment.  It gives the employer no real notice, no ability to have someone who knows the ins & outs of the role to train their replacement and leaves the employer in a really bad position.  If things don't work out and she moves back, I'd imagine that she'd be incredibly unlikely to go back to that employer (as opposed to if she leaves on good terms with plenty of notice and helps the replacement/employer with training) and may find that she can't get a decent reference from them later (and well deserved, if you do that)

 

Good points!

[Ksenia_O 696]

I told my employer AFTER i got my passport with a K1 visa.  

 

i didn't really want to tell anything to anyone BEFORE my visa issuance because there is always "IF-ings" and possible delays and nothing is guarantee in this immigration journey.

 

At the same time, I gave my employer enough time  - visa was issued at the beginning for Feb., 2014, I left Ukraine at the end of March of that year, so my employer had almost 6 weeks to adjust and start looking for another person. And I kept working  till last day .. Was not really necessary - when they learnt I was leaving they did let me use "flexible" schedule" and so on..  But I was working there for almost 10 years... and it felt more like a family than just co-workers..

 

Working to the last minute also helped me with saying "good buy" .. Still was sad and  etc, but at least it kept me busy  most of the time..

 

Now, every time I'm in Ukraine, I go see "my" people - employer and co-worker. And it always feels like "welcome home" and we have a great time. So I believe everything was done correct, for both  of us.

 

 

[Ontarkie 14,229]

~~Moved to Moving Here and Your New Life, from K1 P&P - as the topic is not a processing question but a about to move what to do question.~~

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

My fiancé is not selling his house in Sweden and instead is having his parents move in there to take some bills off them once he moves here. So I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

 

As for the job - I find that to come across pretty unprofessional, as others have said. I would think leaving on good terms is more important than trying to hold onto a job they may never go back to. They have a better chance of returning to their place of employment, should they choose to go back down the road, if they leave on respectable terms. My fiancé notified his soon after we filed our petition and knew what was to come in order to give them enough time to bring on someone new and train them while he was still there.

[Unidentified 2,930]

On 3/20/2018 at 11:36 PM, PirateLiker said:

I’m looking for some advice I can pass along to my fiancé regarding leaving her country. There are 2 big issues:

 

1. She owns an apartment in her city. It is in her name only. My thought was that she keep it and get her brother to manage it as a rental and give the money to her parents who are pensioners.  But if she decides to sell, when should she put it on the market? We filed I-29f at the end of January. Obviously we don’t have NOA2 yet. Assuming it takes a few months to sell she wouldn’t have time to do that after NOA2, unless we delay her arrival.

 

2. She has a good career with above average income, same employer 7 years. How should she handle quitting that? My idea is for her to ask for vacation time, then tell them she won’t be coming back after she gets here. My idea is that that will give her a chance to glimpse what our life will be like here before she burns that bridge. I do try to tell her all about things here, the good and the bad (including things about myself) so she won’t have any surprises, but inevitably there will be some. She has never visited the US and was turned down for a tourist visa last fall.

 

For those of you whose fiances have similar ties to their country, how will s/he be wrapping up her/his affairs?

3

Would you do that to an employer in America? Don't think so. So that won't fly over in Europe either, that's very unprofessional. Just have her give notice to her boss. I know it doesn't happen often but what if she applies for a job here in the US and they actually call her former boss (not sure it ever happens but it could) what do you think they're going to say? She is more likely to be welcome back if she handled it professionally. 

[dentsflogged 352]

On 3/23/2018 at 1:51 AM, Ksenia_O said:

I told my employer AFTER i got my passport with a K1 visa.  

 

i didn't really want to tell anything to anyone BEFORE my visa issuance because there is always "IF-ings" and possible delays and nothing is guarantee in this immigration journey.

 

At the same time, I gave my employer enough time  - visa was issued at the beginning for Feb., 2014, I left Ukraine at the end of March of that year, so my employer had almost 6 weeks to adjust and start looking for another person. And I kept working  till last day .. Was not really necessary - when they learnt I was leaving they did let me use "flexible" schedule" and so on..  But I was working there for almost 10 years... and it felt more like a family than just co-workers..

 

Working to the last minute also helped me with saying "good buy" .. Still was sad and  etc, but at least it kept me busy  most of the time..

 

Now, every time I'm in Ukraine, I go see "my" people - employer and co-worker. And it always feels like "welcome home" and we have a great time. So I believe everything was done correct, for both  of us.

 

 

I'm planning on giving notice the day that the Embassy receives my case. 

 

My contract at work is ridiculous - if I quit within 2 years, I only give 4 weeks notice, between 2-3 years it's 6 weeks at at 3+ years, it's 8 weeks.   Which I'd understand if I were in a role that requires me to help with training of a replacement (I am not) or if my work hinged on specific contracts or anything else (it does not) - I'm literally one of 400 people in my company doing the same role and it's always so quiet that I spend 2/3 of my day watching Netflix or on internet forums, so it's a dumb clause to have in the contract.   If everything goes well, I'll be giving my notice the week before I'd hit the 8 week-notice time-period.   6 weeks should see me through Medical/Interview and etc and allow me a week or so when I'm done to finish wrapping up everything and get on a plane.  

[Nevad@ 26]

Very thoughtful of you, she is lucky she has such an understanding future husband. I think renting the house is the best option, especially if the money would help her retired parents. Also, real estate is real estate- you can always sell that and make good money. If I were her I'd definitely keep the house/apt. and quite the job with at least a 2 week notice.