Devastated! Victim of marriage Fraud before ROC w/ Iranian national

[mrmvkjts 459]

I would definitely go with a really good divorce attorney then!

 Although I think you probably end up paying quite a bit to your ex and the lawyer!!!

 

So,so sorry!

All the best!!!

[Chewbacca 18]

36 minutes ago, LTGermany said:

Sorry to hear of your story. How much time passed between you meeting him and getting married to him? 

 

You probably need to accept that you are going to lose quite a bit of money no matter what in this situation. Federal immigration law is totally separate from state divorce law. I would imagine that he is still entitled to half of whatever you made during the marriage regardless of his immigration intentions.  So you will either lose the money to him or to a lawyer in the end unfortunately. 

 

I just want to point out that these situations also happen all the time between US citizens. How many people do we all know that got married, found out the person wasn't really who they thought and had a nasty expensive divorce? Probably you know more than one. It can happen to anyone. So don't beat yourself up too badly. Next time you find someone, really take your time and get to know them/live together for at least a couple of years before getting married. 

 

On the flip side, there are immigrants who come with good intentions in a marriage to a US citizen, and those US citizens completely take advantage of them. I've read cases where the immigrant followed all the rules, did everything correctly, and got screwed over by their US citizen spouse making false claims to the authorities. 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm sorry for what you're going through OP. I hope you'll be able to resolve this situation. I don't want to sound judgmental, but I'm surprised that most of people in America do not sign prenuptial agreements. My parents are both lawyers and I've seen numerous divorces turning ugly. When I got married even thought I was in a relationship for 6 years (my husband is the US citizen), we signed a prenup. Friends and family members made jokes about it, saying that I'm not a millionaire, why do I need that? You don't get married thinking about divorce later, but if you do, you have a way to protect yourself. Like health insurance. 

 

There's websites to help to prepare a prenup. We asked a friend to go to a bank agency with us since you need a witness, and in less than 15 minutes we had all the documents signed and notarised. It didn't cost us anything. And you can make changes to your prenup agreement later with you want. 

I know it's too late in your case now. But I hope your case can serve as an example to other couples to avoid situations like that. 

Edited March 7, 2018 by Chewbacca

[Ban Hammer 13,355]

1. get statements on how much was in your 401k,  how much was owed on your house when you married,

vehicles, savings, and so on.  that is the starting point of what he has claim to. 
2.  any real estate, vehicles, and so on acquired after marriage he probably has a 50% claim to.
3.  get a great lawyer.

 

best wishes.

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

don't forget he is also liable for bills created during this time like credit card charges

go thru all you paid out to go thru the immigration process and countersue 

you are American / fight back

[lysander 14]

1 hour ago, Xcalj5 said:

I live in no fault state. I was told cheating does not matter :(. Im really screwed!

Virginia is a no-fault state too (apparently they all are at this point), but its law says "The court, in determining whether to award support and maintenance for a spouse, shall consider the circumstances and factors which contributed to the dissolution of the marriage, specifically including adultery and any other ground for divorce". Only problem is, that stuff can be expensive to prove.

[Unlockable 7,314]

You have to fight fire with fire. If he has an aggressive lawyer then you get an aggressive lawyer with a big stick.

 

He can take you to the cleaners with a good lawyer. But you can also save yourself with a great lawyer. You may take some financial loss but at least you will be free of him.

[R&OC 371]

I am sorry you are going through this.

 

I am advising you to use a lawyer because you are already in a tight corner. I am preferring negotiation over litigation but that can only be done if both parties want to settle. He wants to maximise his benefits.

 

So, having said that and please correct me if I am wrong - living in a no fault case affects the divorce not alimony. If he is in a relationship with the CEOs wife, I would pursue that route as cohabitation (they hopefully live together) is an issue and allows you to modify spousal support. 

 

Alimony is no hard and fast rule. You will depend on the judge, too. They have seen a lot and will be able to judge your situation accurately. So please get a good lawyer to defend you, not to attack. I would file for spousal support as well. 

 

Secondly, if you have evidence or can collect evidence on his intend to use you for a green card, I would pursue that route.

[R&OC 371]

52 minutes ago, lysander said:

Virginia is a no-fault state too (apparently they all are at this point), but its law says "The court, in determining whether to award support and maintenance for a spouse, shall consider the circumstances and factors which contributed to the dissolution of the marriage, specifically including adultery and any other ground for divorce". Only problem is, that stuff can be expensive to prove.

Same in California. Adultery does affect the progression of divorce but it may affect the alimony.

[mcdull 474]

do you want to move on or drag on?

[GEOntificator 281]

2 hours ago, Chewbacca said:

I'm sorry for what you're going through OP. I hope you'll be able to resolve this situation. I don't want to sound judgmental, but I'm surprised that most of people in America do not sign prenuptial agreements. My parents are both lawyers and I've seen numerous divorces turning ugly. When I got married even thought I was in a relationship for 6 years (my husband is the US citizen), we signed a prenup. Friends and family members made jokes about it, saying that I'm not a millionaire, why do I need that? You don't get married thinking about divorce later, but if you do, you have a way to protect yourself. Like health insurance. 

 

There's websites to help to prepare a prenup. We asked a friend to go to a bank agency with us since you need a witness, and in less than 15 minutes we had all the documents signed and notarised. It didn't cost us anything. And you can make changes to your prenup agreement later with you want. 

I know it's too late in your case now. But I hope your case can serve as an example to other couples to avoid situations like that. 

While I understand why some people do this, I think ultimately it comes down to trust and for most people it is really uncomfortable/awkward situation to sign paperwork that has agreements on divorce (especially when newly married). I am not judging anyone, but I believe this is the reason why many people would not do this.

[cyclone27 710]

Prenups with immigrants can be overcame quite easily. 

 

Course it’s a trust thing that’s why I never bothered and took my time to marry. I can understand possibly when you really don’t know someone and marry quick.

[JT4/25 38]

get a divorce lawyer who will negotiate on your behalf.  dont let it get ugly...as someone else said...these lawyers are in it for the money too and will drag it out.  Most states it doesnt matter if there is cheating.  My friend is a divorce lawyer and your other half is entitled to money even if his name is not on the account.  You may be able to get away with a "I had this before my marriage situation"...but anything after the marriage is 50/50 in most states.  it sucks.  My sister's husband is cheating on her and she has to still make payments on his health insurance, car insurance and whatever else she paid for....he is living with this other woman now too!  and she still has to pay until they get divorced.  He doesnt work.  He has always sponged off her.  Good luck.  I hope you two can work it out financially.  Other than that....kick his ### to the curb.

[Californiansunset 336]

You said that "He admitted working for Iranian government and having weapons training (not mentioned on visa app)." It's probably a long shot and pricey (but hey the money will be going to 50% to him anyways so why not spend it) but is there no way to have a detective find proof of that?? Obviously it must be done in Iran bc that is where he is from. Maybe I watched too many movies and it's probably just wishful thinking that hiring someone would be successful but I can't believe that he's getting away with that. This is scary. If you could prove that this is true it would be material misrepresentation with a lifetime ban. 

[Boiler 45,575]

13 minutes ago, Californiansunset said:

You said that "He admitted working for Iranian government and having weapons training (not mentioned on visa app)." It's probably a long shot and pricey (but hey the money will be going to 50% to him anyways so why not spend it) but is there no way to have a detective find proof of that?? Obviously it must be done in Iran bc that is where he is from. Maybe I watched too many movies and it's probably just wishful thinking that hiring someone would be successful but I can't believe that he's getting away with that. This is scary. If you could prove that this is true it would be material misrepresentation with a lifetime ban. 

Mission Impossible

 

Die Hard?

[Russ&Caro 1,549]

So sad to hear about this situation. I agree with the consensus from others that you have a tricky road ahead in hiring a lawyer to represent you while not draining all of your resources. One thing that occurs to me is that scammers likely don't simply arise up out of nothing. These are not good people who suddenly break bad. Chances are this guy has a shady past. Perhaps he has a criminal record or existing marriage back in his home country that wasn't admitted to nor caught in any immigration background check. Maybe he's already engaged in shady acts here in his new country.  Might be worthwhile to spend a minimum amount of money to have an electronic background check done on the guy, here and in his home country.

 

EDIT: Just realized that the post above mine is suggesting the same thing.

Edited March 7, 2018 by Russ&Caro