Want to hire family member from the philippines as aide for sick parent

[LL1 8]

Hi-  My parents are old and especially my mom who is 80years old with breast cancer and dementia/early alzheimer's.  Hired different aides here in the U.S. and none of them worked out with my parents.  One, language barrier.  Two, culture differences.  Three, comfort level.  Nobody in my nuclear family can watch and be with my parents during the day so we need an aide to help them but both my parents are paranoid that the aide are lazy, mean/not treating them well, and sometimes scared that they may be stealing or poisoning them. This is all because of my parents being old.  Thought hard about this and was wondering if anyone in this forum had the experience of hiring a family member from the philippines as an aide.  I want to bring my aunt, who is my mom's younger sister.  My mom would be more comfortable, language barrier is eliminated, and psychologically it'll probably be better because my mom feels its her sister.  If anyone can provide me with any information, suggestions on how to go about this; i'd greatly appreciate it.  Looking forward to your comments.  Thanks!

[Coco8 1,042]

I'm sorry, there is no such visa. 

[geowrian 22,337]

That likely is not going to work. While it is possible to get a B-2 for a domestic worker, there are very strict conditions on this and it sounds like they won't qualify. Furthermore, having them be a family member is a big conflict of interest. It's just not happening, sorry. You, as an individual, cannot petition for a worker either.

[LL1 8]

Thanks for the comments.

I know its the reality but it still sucks!  I'm desperate right now to get help/company for my parents.  And I cannot hire whomever I want even if I have the resources to support the person I want to hire.  Speaking of taking away my right!!!

Thanks again!

[Crazy Cat 41,886]

Have you tried an agency which employs aides who speak their language?

[geowrian 22,337]

1 minute ago, Lyn Leon said:

And I cannot hire whomever I want even if I have the resources to support the person I want to hire.  Speaking of taking away my right!!!

You can hire anybody you want....they just can't work in the US unless immigration gives them permission to do so.

[LL1 8]

missileman - yes tried that.  because they are strangers, my parents didn't feel comfortable having strangers in their house.  so they can't sleep or rest or take their siesta when its only them and I'm not home.  also, because they are strangers (and i'm sure this is partly because my parents are old - i've seen it with other older people as well), they are paranoid.  have done through soooo many help now.  hence i'm desperate.  thanks for the idea.

[LL1 8]

31 minutes ago, geowrian said:

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geowrian - thanks.  i will probably need a crafty immigration lawyer to help me with this.

[TNJ17 1,329]

Yeah, that’s not gonna fly with USCIS. Find someone else. There are millions of people in the US allowed to do what you require them to I’m sure you can find someone. Okay, maybe not millions, but there are plenty out there that would work. Keep looking. 

[TNJ17 1,329]

You can get help from a professional with their paranoia. Find a therapist and get the fear from them. It’s gonna be easier and legal and fast. 

[LL1 8]

1 hour ago, TNJ17 said:

You can get help from a professional with their paranoia. Find a therapist and get the fear from them. It’s gonna be easier and legal and fast. 

Thanks for the suggestion.  You know how the saying goes... It's easier said than done! 

First, paranoia is a disease of old age.  Its hard enough to manage than on a younger person, managing it on an older person will take years - my parents might be dead from other causes before their paranoia is managed.  I'm hopefully informing you all who hasn't experienced caring for an old person.  Second, it'll take pages (and you won't have the time to read) all the horrific experience my parents went through with different aides.  Briefly, my mom had to be helped getting up and aide held her arm so tight, the skin on both her arms ripped.  I got home to find my mom with bandages on both arms and bleeding arms.  So, TNJ17... if this were your parents or someone you love, how often or how much pain will you put them through during the last year(s) of their lives???  I'm sorry... I've seen enough... these helpers are paid and not invested like a family is.

[geowrian 22,337]

While a family member may be able to take the best care of them in your opinion, that doesn't seem like it is possible here. The suggestion is to find a good, qualified person in the US, or she can consider moving abroad for care there.

Edited March 6, 2018 by geowrian

[Mollie09 1,543]

9 minutes ago, geowrian said:

While a family member may be able to take the best care of them in your opinion, that doesn't seem like it is possible here. The suggestion is to find a good, qualified person in the US, or she can consider moving abroad for care there.

Came here to say this - if the aunt is the best person to care for them, they can move back to the PI to be cared for by her.

[LL1 8]

34 minutes ago, geowrian said:

While a family member may be able to take the best care of them in your opinion, that doesn't seem like it is possible here. The suggestion is to find a good, qualified person in the US, or she can consider moving abroad for care there.

Hi- I just called an immigration lawyer and they said though it will be an up-hill task, IT IS POSSIBLE.  Just wanted to share this the readers on this forum.  I was also given other options but will share it here in this forum once I do my own research about the other options given to me by the lawyer.  Finally, going back to my response to TNJ17... if this were your parents or someone you love, how often or how much pain will you put them through during the last year(s) of their lives???  In case you forgot, my mom has breast cancer and dementia/early alzheimer's.  Relocating them at this age and with their medical condition is not favorable.  Heard horrific experience from medical staff and hospitals in the philippines.  So I'll pass on that suggestion.  thanks!

[geowrian 22,337]

Mind sharing what this possibility is?

The only thing I can think of is some sort of humanitarian parole, although this is usually a last-ditch option.