Immigrant Pinay feeling homesick and lonely [split topic]

[dcpa55 9]

Ive been here in the US for 2 months already and I feel so lonely and homesick too. I miss my family, friends, and the foods im used to. It is definitely difficult to adjust here because I dont have a job yet, we are still processing our papers and I dont know how to drive a car which makes things worst(I feel bad not having driving lesson at home)and i always want to eat Filipino foods and not the foods her, finding filipino foods here is so difficult. Still I feel blessed and happy because my husband always ask his supervisor that he will work from home as much as possible so I can have companion and not be alone, and good thing he is always approved. Im not used to being alone in the Philippines, i lived with my mom and siblings and niece. And my mom's brother and sister's  family are just living at the back of our house so it is is always fun and not boring at home. And I worked as a nurse where the hospital is just 10 minutes a walk away. Not having a job and being away from love ones is driving me crazy. Im trying my best to get busy with my review for the licensure exam here but it is so damn difficult. I dont know how long it will last. It is just exhausting to keep on crying and feeling miserable and lonely. It makes me think it is making my husband sad. But thanks God he is a good man, would always support me and understand me. My husband is my only friend here. His family lives really far. I only met them once during our wedding.  The thought of my husband leaving and going to another country for work makes me more sad because I know I cant join him yet so it will def make me insane. He will be leaving soon. I guess we dont have a choice here but to be strong and stay sane for our husband and family back in Pinas.

Edited March 5, 2018 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,005]

The above was split from a very old thread in the "Moving to the U.S." forum.  It's moved to the Philippines regional forum because of the several issues common to Philippines immigrants, and because of the insiders' knowledge of the regular posters in this forum.

Edited March 5, 2018 by TBoneTX

[Hank_ 9,174]

5 hours ago, dcpa55 said:

Ive been here in the US for 2 months already and I feel so lonely and homesick too. I miss my family, friends, and the foods im used to. It is definitely difficult to adjust here because I dont have a job yet, we are still processing our papers and I dont know how to drive a car which makes things worst(I feel bad not having driving lesson at home)and i always want to eat Filipino foods and not the foods her, finding filipino foods here is so difficult. Still I feel blessed and happy because my husband always ask his supervisor that he will work from home as much as possible so I can have companion and not be alone, and good thing he is always approved. Im not used to being alone in the Philippines, i lived with my mom and siblings and niece. And my mom's brother and sister's  family are just living at the back of our house so it is is always fun and not boring at home. And I worked as a nurse where the hospital is just 10 minutes a walk away. Not having a job and being away from love ones is driving me crazy. Im trying my best to get busy with my review for the licensure exam here but it is so damn difficult. I dont know how long it will last. It is just exhausting to keep on crying and feeling miserable and lonely. It makes me think it is making my husband sad. But thanks God he is a good man, would always support me and understand me. My husband is my only friend here. His family lives really far. I only met them once during our wedding.  The thought of my husband leaving and going to another country for work makes me more sad because I know I cant join him yet so it will def make me insane. He will be leaving soon. I guess we dont have a choice here but to be strong and stay sane for our husband and family back in Pinas.

It is always a difficult time when first arriving.  To pack your life in a suitcase and travel half way around the world is not easy.    

 

Internet with Viber, Messenger, Hangouts is a good way to stay in contact with family and friends.  Even after 6 years m wife uses one of those for calling daily to chat with family and friends.

 

The first few months are very difficult, not working or being able to drive just adds to the issue.  Stay strong.

 

What city are you from, there may be others close to you that could become new friends.

Edited March 5, 2018 by Hank_

[dcpa55 9]

1 hour ago, Hank_ said:

It is always a difficult time when first arriving.  To pack your life in a suitcase and travel half way around the world is not easy.    

 

Internet with Viber, Messenger, Hangouts is a good way to stay in contact with family and friends.  Even after 6 years m wife uses one of those for calling daily to chat with family and friends.

 

The first few months are very difficult, not working or being able to drive just adds to the issue.  Stay strong.

 

What city are you from, there may be others close to you that could become new friends.

Thank you. Therr is no choice herr but to be strong.I live in Strongsville, Ohio. 

[Hank_ 9,174]

28 minutes ago, dcpa55 said:

Thank you. Therr is no choice herr but to be strong.I live in Strongsville, Ohio. 

Yes it will be a difficult journey .. I hope all goes well for you.

[nelmagriffin 145]

Greetings!

Keep on reviewing and take the NCLEX as soon as you can. Nurses are way in demand and It pays well. This is the time wherein you explore places because as soon as you start working it is hard to have a mini break when work rolls in. Do not worry about the review if it is difficult as it will be easy during the test. As long as you know the basics, prioritization, and safety of any situations it will be okay. I know how hard working a Filipino nurse is especially when it comes to "nursing school days" it is intense. Relax, do a little review and also know the strategy in taking the test especially the process of elimination technique. Did you have your credentials evaluated and that you are just waiting for the authorization to take the test?

Goodluck,

Nelma

Edited March 5, 2018 by nelmagriffin

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

1 hour ago, dcpa55 said:

Thank you. Therr is no choice herr but to be strong.I live in Strongsville, Ohio. 

My asawa felt the same way when she first moved here in 2012 but luckily we moved to California and that helped because she had a Filipino store literally at the end of the street. But we have since moved here to North Carolina and we now we have to drive 45 minutes to go to a Filipino store, also there is Jollibee or Chow King here which sucks. So she if back to feeling alittle home sick as well right and missing CA and the Philippines.

 

Don't worry about learning how to drive because it is fairly simple to learn. My asawa was the same exact way when she got to the US in that she did not know how to drive at all and had to walk everywhere at first. I ended up teaching her how to drive and she was able to get her Learners Permit and her Driver's License, then I hated it because she could now go shopping whenever she wanted(hehehe). So don't worry and have your husband teach you to drive, if you can drive a motorbike then you can drive a car.

 

Go study for the NCLEX because if you are a BSN or a RN you can make really good money here and that will help you a lot and your family at home. My wife has her bachelors in Teaching but wants to go for her RN because a RN gets paid $55k starting out on the low end here in NC.

[dcpa55 9]

1 hour ago, nelmagriffin said:

Greetings!

Keep on reviewing and take the NCLEX as soon as you can. Nurses are way in demand and It pays well. This is the time wherein you explore places because as soon as you start working it is hard to have a mini break when work rolls in. Do not worry about the review if it is difficult as it will be easy during the test. As long as you know the basics, prioritization, and safety of any situations it will be okay. I know how hard working a Filipino nurse is especially when it comes to "nursing school days" it is intense. Relax, do a little review and also know the strategy in taking the test especially the process of elimination technique. Did you have your credentials evaluated and that you are just waiting for the authorization to take the test?

Goodluck,

Nelma

Hey Nelma! I hope it is easy. Ive been working as a nurse for 3 years in the ER at Pinas and it feels like my brain has cobwebs now. Haha. Yes my credentials has been approved by cgfns and im waiting now for the BON in ohio to review my application. Im waiting for my ATT number. My number one problem is driving a car because i dont know it and the hospitals here are far from my home. I hope Ill just take the NCLEX once. Yeah the nursing days school was crazy as well as working as a nurse. I hope it is more better here. Thank you!

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

Sorry I meant to say that there is NO Jollibee or Chow King here while in CA there was.

[dcpa55 9]

52 minutes ago, cyberfx1024 said:

My asawa felt the same way when she first moved here in 2012 but luckily we moved to California and that helped because she had a Filipino store literally at the end of the street. But we have since moved here to North Carolina and we now we have to drive 45 minutes to go to a Filipino store, also there is Jollibee or Chow King here which sucks. So she if back to feeling alittle home sick as well right and missing CA and the Philippines.

 

Don't worry about learning how to drive because it is fairly simple to learn. My asawa was the same exact way when she got to the US in that she did not know how to drive at all and had to walk everywhere at first. I ended up teaching her how to drive and she was able to get her Learners Permit and her Driver's License, then I hated it because she could now go shopping whenever she wanted(hehehe). So don't worry and have your husband teach you to drive, if you can drive a motorbike then you can drive a car.

 

Go study for the NCLEX because if you are a BSN or a RN you can make really good money here and that will help you a lot and your family at home. My wife has her bachelors in Teaching but wants to go for her RN because a RN gets paid $55k starting out on the low end here in NC.

That is good to hear! I hope she will become a USRn soon. My husband will teach me once im done with the NClex. But he is thinking of just sending to driving school. 

 

Haha! I envy her! I wish i can drive and go to Filipino stores. I hope you got over with her shopping and driving. 😉

 

My husband is trying his best to make things easy for me. It is just damn hard. 

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

Just now, dcpa55 said:

That is good to hear! I hope she will become a USRn soon. My husband will teach me once im done with the NClex. But he is thinking of just sending to driving school. 

Haha! I envy her! I wish i can drive and go to Filipino stores. I hope you got over with her shopping and driving. 😉

My husband is trying his best to make things easy for me. It is just damn hard. 

Yeah it was VERY FRUSTRATING to teach my asawa how to drive and led to her crying sometimes but now she is a good driver, she has gotten into one accident(not her fault) and had one parking ticket(parking on street cleaning day) while she was at a singing videoke.

 

The only thing my wife hated when driving in California was driving on highways and freeways. She would stick to the side streets if she could at all possible. But she loves the freedom of being able to go anywhere she wants. I told her when she gets her RN license and starts working she can get whatever car she wants(she will make the payments) but right now you're stuck with what you got. It drives good and that's what counts. Some of her friends in CA were envious of her because she could drive while they had to take the bus everywhere to go places. So tell your asawa to take you places as much as possible.

 

Also tell him you want some TFC while you are at home.

[nelmagriffin 145]

Greetings!

You will be fine! Filipinos are hardworking, intelligent and yet very loving. And when it comes to your driving, try getting the written test then practice driving with your hubby whilst waiting for everything.

Goodluck,

Nelma

[marriedtomrg 141]

14 hours ago, dcpa55 said:

Ive been here in the US for 2 months already and I feel so lonely and homesick too. I miss my family, friends, and the foods im used to. It is definitely difficult to adjust here because I dont have a job yet, we are still processing our papers and I dont know how to drive a car which makes things worst(I feel bad not having driving lesson at home)and i always want to eat Filipino foods and not the foods her, finding filipino foods here is so difficult. Still I feel blessed and happy because my husband always ask his supervisor that he will work from home as much as possible so I can have companion and not be alone, and good thing he is always approved. Im not used to being alone in the Philippines, i lived with my mom and siblings and niece. And my mom's brother and sister's  family are just living at the back of our house so it is is always fun and not boring at home. And I worked as a nurse where the hospital is just 10 minutes a walk away. Not having a job and being away from love ones is driving me crazy. Im trying my best to get busy with my review for the licensure exam here but it is so damn difficult. I dont know how long it will last. It is just exhausting to keep on crying and feeling miserable and lonely. It makes me think it is making my husband sad. But thanks God he is a good man, would always support me and understand me. My husband is my only friend here. His family lives really far. I only met them once during our wedding.  The thought of my husband leaving and going to another country for work makes me more sad because I know I cant join him yet so it will def make me insane. He will be leaving soon. I guess we dont have a choice here but to be strong and stay sane for our husband and family back in Pinas.

Before I moved here, I had driving lessons but still it took me three years to work up the nerve and take the written test so I could do the driving test.  Up to that point (between 2009 and 2012), for me to get around I either had to walk or take the bus - my husband was always at work and if he had to drive to do anything it would be for grocery shopping (which unfortunately, he hates with a passion).  It was very hard - but I found a work-at-home job which allowed me to write and paid ok so I had something to do.  Later I got a job at a grocery store but my hours were limited because I needed someone to drive me to and from work.

 

I took my driving test in late 2012, and I have been driving since - believe me when I tell you that once you do it, you will wonder how the heck you waited so long!  Passing the test the first time gave me some confidence - I lived in the Philippines 38 years without ever getting to (or needing to) drive; to put it in perspective for you - my younger brother learned how to drive when we were in high school - he has been driving far longer than I have.  And yet, after he moved to Canada, and took the driving test - he didn't pass the first time.  He had to take it a second time.

 

When you learn how to drive and get around, you may want to check out the nearest Asian store - we have a couple here in town, and even a Filipino restaurant! And if there is not one, there are online Asian stores that deliver.  My husband likes FIlipino food - unfortunately, a lot of what I know to make has soy sauce in it (you know how that goes), and he is watching his salt intake, so I can't always make it - I only make that food for company or for parties.  His favorite is beef sinigang (a soup made with a tamarind-based/sour broth with your choice of meat or seafood and vegetables) and grilled stuffed squid (luckily our store carries that, except it is frozen).

 

You really need lakas ng loob (courage) and to learn to be assertive and proactive - otherwise, you will easily succumb to homesickness.  I know you miss your family...I sure miss mine - but I am thinking your family would like you to be successful here.  

 

When my mom came to visit (you cannot imagine what a thrill that was for her, she has been to the US twice) - we signed up for TFC so she would not miss her beloved telenovelas (lol) - if you are a GMA person, then you can also subscribe to their channels.

 

There is so much for you to experience and possibly enjoy.  You need to give yourself the chance - open yourself up to your new life; by the sounds of it, you are married to a great guy who wants nothing but your happiness - count your lucky stars!

 

You have friends here in VJ who understand and know what you are going through.  Hang in there!

 

Edited March 5, 2018 by marriedtomrg
typo, inserted more info

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

15 minutes ago, marriedtomrg said:

Before I moved here, I had driving lessons but still it took me three years to work up the nerve and take the written test so I could do the driving test.  Up to that point (between 2009 and 2012), for me to get around I either had to walk or take the bus - my husband was always at work and if he had to drive to do anything it would be for grocery shopping (which unfortunately, he hates with a passion).  It was very hard - but I found a work-at-home job which allowed me to write and paid ok so I had something to do.  Later I got a job at a grocery store but my hours were limited because I needed someone to drive me to and from work.

I took my driving test in late 2012, and I have been driving since - believe me when I tell you that once you do it, you will wonder how the heck you waited so long!  Passing the test the first time gave me some confidence - I lived in the Philippines 38 years without ever getting to (or needing to) drive; to put it in perspective for you - my younger brother learned how to drive when we were in high school - he has been driving far longer than I have.  And yet, after he moved to Canada, and took the driving test - he didn't pass the first time.  He had to take it a second time.

When you learn how to drive and get around, you may want to check out the nearest Asian store - we have a couple here in town, and even a Filipino restaurant! And if there is not one, there are online Asian stores that deliver.  My husband likes FIlipino food - unfortunately, a lot of what I know to make has soy sauce in it (you know how that goes), and he is watching his salt intake, so I can't always make it - I only make that food for company or for parties.  His favorite is beef sinigang (a soup made with a tamarind-based/sour broth with your choice of meat or seafood and vegetables) and grilled stuffed squid (luckily our store carries that, except it is frozen).

You really need lakas ng loob (courage) and to learn to be assertive and proactive - otherwise, you will easily succumb to homesickness.  I know you miss your family...I sure miss mine - but I am thinking your family would like you to be successful here.  

When my mom came to visit (you cannot imagine what a thrill that was for her, she has been to the US twice) - we signed up for TFC so she would not miss her beloved telenovelas (lol) - if you are a GMA person, then you can also subscribe to their channels.

There is so much for you to experience and possibly enjoy.  You need to give yourself the chance - open yourself up to your new life; by the sounds of it, you are married to a great guy who wants nothing but your happiness - count your lucky stars!

You have friends here in VJ who understand and know what you are going through.  Hang in there!

 

My wife was the same way when she first came here in 2012. What really got her mad and made her want to drive is she was at the local grocery store down the street one day when our daughter was a couple months old. This lady actually commented that she is a great nanny (yaya) for the child she is taking care of, and my wife got mad and quickly told her that she is not a nanny that this baby is actually her biological child. I laughed when I heard that because my asawa is from Davao and has darker skin, while our children have white skin when they are 0-2 years old, but start tanning around 2 1/2 years old. So my wife said never again and vowed to learn how to drive.

 

She actually failed written test a couple times, and back in 2013 CA let you take the failed test home to study. So we studied and studied, all the while she cried because I am a strict teacher but it made her learn.. But she was so happy when she passed and she forgot all of that. Then she failed the driving test the first time, so I pushed her to drive more and learn. 3 weeks later she took it again and PASSED,  OMG was she happy to say the least.

 

My favorite food is Menudo and OMG I miss it from this place in Glendale CA because they make the best Menudo. Even my Kano children from my first marriage like Filipino food now as long as it doesn't have fish in it.

 

My asawa misses her family a lot but is glad that we can help provide for them. Luckily she was here in the USA when Typhoon Bopha hit ComVal in 2012 or who knows where she would be because a lot of people she knew died then. We actually renovated her family's house last year so everybody likes it na(sadly the tax collectors do too) so I can't wait to go back to see it. We had Charter in 2012 and they had GMA and TFC and now we have DirectTv na with TFC and GMA as well, but now she can watch a lot of the old movies as well. They also have 3 different Filipino channels that have Filipino music both old and new. I love watching Telenovelas on TFC as well(English Subtitles), GO CARDO.

 

Our niece came here on a working visa twice na, and is planning on getting married this year na to a man she met while working in VA. She loves how she can do anything she wants here all the while supporting family at home.

 

[Hank_ 9,174]

9 minutes ago, cyberfx1024 said:

My wife was the same way when she first came here in 2012. What really got her mad and made her want to drive is she was at the local grocery store down the street one day when our daughter was a couple months old. This lady actually commented that she is a great nanny (yaya) for the child she is taking care of, and my wife got mad and quickly told her that she is not a nanny that this baby is actually her biological child. I laughed when I heard that because my asawa is from Davao and has darker skin, while our children have white skin when they are 0-2 years old, but start tanning around 2 1/2 years old. So my wife said never again and vowed to learn how to drive.

 

She actually failed written test a couple times, and back in 2013 CA let you take the failed test home to study. So we studied and studied, all the while she cried because I am a strict teacher but it made her learn.. But she was so happy when she passed and she forgot all of that. Then she failed the driving test the first time, so I pushed her to drive more and learn. 3 weeks later she took it again and PASSED,  OMG was she happy to say the least.

 

My favorite food is Menudo and OMG I miss it from this place in Glendale CA because they make the best Menudo. Even my Kano children from my first marriage like Filipino food now as long as it doesn't have fish in it.

 

My asawa misses her family a lot but is glad that we can help provide for them. Luckily she was here in the USA when Typhoon Bopha hit ComVal in 2012 or who knows where she would be because a lot of people she knew died then. We actually renovated her family's house last year so everybody likes it na(sadly the tax collectors do too) so I can't wait to go back to see it. We had Charter in 2012 and they had GMA and TFC and now we have DirectTv na with TFC and GMA as well, but now she can watch a lot of the old movies as well. They also have 3 different Filipino channels that have Filipino music both old and new. I love watching Telenovelas on TFC as well(English Subtitles), GO CARDO.

 

Our niece came here on a working visa twice na, and is planning on getting married this year na to a man she met while working in VA. She loves how she can do anything she wants here all the while supporting family at home.

 

 

Menudo is one of my wife's favorites also, but the menudo in Tucson is Mexican .. we were at a friend's house where they were serving menudo -  she was disappointed after tasting it.   The other my wife really likes is soupas, I have mine with the egg on the side